My Failed Love Life - Explained By My Best Friend Nandini Shenoy | The Ranveer Show 176 | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "My Failed Love Life - Explained By My Best Friend Nandini Shenoy | The Ranveer Show 176".


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Intro (00:00)

So a couple of years ago during the first lockdown we did an episode with my mother. It was one of the most special TRS episodes that we've ever done. It's one of the most loved ones over time. This one is sort of a sequel to that episode. It features my chhoti mami which is my childhood best friend Nandini Shonoy. I was like, "What is this? I don't know how to do this." But trust me, Nandini is one of my closest friends in my life. This is an episode where I get interviewed. Where she asks me stuff primarily about my relationships and my love life. Romance from a male perspective. So I think a lot of you all are going to enjoy the depth and the gossip angle of this particular episode for lack of a better word. This is Nandini Shonoy on TRS. Remember to follow TRS on Spotify. Every episode is available on Spotify 48 hours before it's available anywhere else in the world. It's an experimental episode but I intend on getting Nandini back for a lot more episodes. See you soon. Enjoy the episode from now. Go for it. So because you know me so long and my love life is a topic of conversation on this channel.

Personal Stories And Relationships

Ashes first memories (01:14)

Because I keep bringing up my singlehood, single dim. Single dim. Nandini Shonoy, what's your earliest memory of this aashik? I'm thinking of, it's probably when we were in PYO. In 9th standard. Yeah, no so like it depends. Okay, like if it's in the context of love then it would probably be like PYO. In 5th standard. Yeah, in 5th standard like at the age of 10 where like. No but I disliked you then. So I like I just. Just because I broke your leg once like is that a reason to dislike someone? But to be honest Ankit you have disliked everyone for the longest time. And then like been infatuated with them and then like reached a stage of like normal human interaction. Are you talking about my first few girlfriends in life? You've seen every girlfriend of mine. No I'm talking about this particular person who used to be on a bus with you. And you went through this phase where you were in love with her then you hated her. Then it was all like oh my god you ruined my life. Because you were so dramatic. And then like now I guess we've reached a stage of like acceptance. Of adulthood? Adult acceptance. But you've actually met every single girl I've dated. Yeah. Almost. Almost. Like I know all the random recent ones. Though the last two years of my life have been random. It's not casual but it's not like the peak of seriousness that you have seen. Yes, yes. And you've also seen my serious serious relationships and you've seen where it's gone wrong. Yeah. You've seen me going through infidelity like the movie Gehraya. Yeah. So I think this podcast is more about love as a concept. Also often on the show we've spoken about what women want from men. But rarely do we talk about what men want from women in relationships. So we'll also address some of those topics. Okay.

Storytelling: Nandini Shonoy (03:20)

But storytelling Nandini. Okay. So what's your first memory? About my first fiery relationship in life? Okay so Ranveer and I used to we were in PE bio class together. It's like a extra subject that you pick in your ICSE when you're whatever like giving your 10th. And Ranveer and I used to run around our school jogging track where all I would hear was like, Oh my God, I like her so much. Why didn't you like me? Why don't you like me? Why don't you talk to her? Why don't you talk to her? Why don't you talk to her? Just like, dude, like you need to chill. Dude, like 15 year old Ranveer was so obsessive. Like I think he had like watched too many Bollywood movies and he was like, Ah, this is love. Yeh, Ashwin hai. I want this. I'll give the audience some background on this. Okay. There was this girl I liked a lot in school who was kind of like a hard to get girl. Okay. At least she used to act like she was hard to get. You want to say something? I don't. Okay. Cool. So she was a hard to get girl. And for me, I had to impress her. And I also wanted to impress her in a Dhamaa Kedar style. Of course. So what does my brain do in front of me? There was a geometry box because we had just started geometry in ninth standard. Yes. So I took the divider, not the compass, you know, the divider with the two like Dhanas. I took two Cs. I know, I know. I know what a divider is. And I said, Hey, let's, let's call that girl Pooja. Hey Pooja, look here. And then I scratched out her first name, first letter on my tricep. But dude, you know what? The irony of that is that Pooja had a phobia of like people coming with sharp things near her hands. And I said, yeah. Especially around her wrists. And Pooja used to obsessively wear a watch all through school because she was worried that some glass was going to fall and cut her hand through. So like that was not the best tactic with Pooja. Dude, I did one more thing when it came to Pooja, which is that to really, because this divider trick didn't work with her. So the next weekend I was at home and I, you know, you sometimes get bitten by a mosquito and then there's a scab that forms and if you pull off the scab, then blood starts coming out. So I had a mosquito bite the scab on my foot and I put it on the scab. So I started bleeding and I used the blood as paint and do a heart on a paper. Oh no. Dude, you know what? Like I found, I was today years old when I found out about this because I had seen the heart that was drawn in Ranbir's blood. Oh my lord. So yeah, I should have become a YouTuber at that age, dude. So my creativity would have gotten a channel rather than all this. Dude, the one thing now that like, dude, like I love you guys separately. You all were like not a great relationship. Yeah. You know, and I hated the fact that you're like just dragged me into the middle of all of it, like in the sense of like, why was I there? I was a third party entirely and I distinctly remember one phone call that, you know, conference calls were all the thing there. And so Ranbir asked me to like not tell her that, you know, he's on the call and because he's my friend and I'm loyal to him and I, we have an understanding, okay, like, Hey man, you're going to be like quiet on this call, right? Like she's going to be on this call. You're going to be quiet. And so I pick up the call and then I start talking to her and then she goes like, are you sure he's not on this call? And I was like, yeah, he's not. He's not on this call. I promise you. I love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't say it. And then Ranbir starts to whack a table like over and over and over again. And then he finds some bloody bertons and he starts like backing them. And then she's like, why are you making these sounds? Is someone here? And I'm like, no, no one's here. It's just us. I'm just crazy.

Finding oneself & dating as an INTP (07:16)

I just love doing this stuff. And then he's just like going on. I'm just like, Oh my God, what a lunatic. Like you are like an absolute lunatic in school. That's why we remain friends because we used to just take my bullshit. So, uh, how did you see that relationship mature between the ages of 15 and say 18 and a half, 19? I mean, it just kept getting more toxic. It didn't, like it didn't mature. That's I think that's the problem, right? I think both of you like have grown significantly as people after that relationship. Like that is not to say, I mean, like that's not to dismiss your relationship in any way, shape or form. It happened. Right. But like, it's just that I don't think that you guys brought out the best in each other. Right. And because I know both of you individually as people, even today, like I know that both of you did not bring out the best in each other. And you just, you needed to find like a, So what's the third person lesson here? The third person lesson is that when people ask you, Hey, can I tell you something? You say, no. No, I mean, what can the viewers take away from this love story? I would say that, uh, put some things into perspective. You're 15 years old. You're not going to marry the person that you're with at 15. Just like breathe, you know, like it's okay. You will find someone your life is not ending at 17. Even plan our kids' names and shit. You know, like, I'm happy for you. Like I'm happy for you. Like I'm happy for whatever it brought to you. Do you remember the next girl? I don't know if you do. Not, not the good one. I do remember the next girl. I do. Let's call her Sanjana. Okay. Sanjana. So what about Sanjana do you remember? I mean, like I remember of Sanjana, the complex history of what happened in relation to like everything else that was happening at the time. Okay. So no, with that one, like I would say that you were the one being taken advantage of in that situation. Look for all of your like larger, your heart inside, you know, is like a little McDonald's softie.

The sanjana love story (09:20)

Like that's what it's like. So it's like soft and can melt if people are like mean to it. So like, you know, like not anymore. Not anymore. Okay. Well, whatever. In love, maybe. We're talking in love. No, in love. Yeah. Not in life. Life is fine. But like you have a tendency to like really fall for the women that you are really falling for. So, I mean, like, I think you've actually now, if I consider it with like what I know of the current situation, I think that you've gotten a lot better in terms of like guarding your heart, but there was one. I wish to still be a Kaga Lashi in love. No, that's not helpful. To be that person. Like no woman wants a man who's going to create drama in her life. No, no. Let us live in peace. Positive drama, like pink raindrops and all that. That sounds bad. But like, like, you know what I mean? Like, like happy drama, nothing bad. What is happy drama? Matlab, you will get like some dramatic gift because that's the only time when happy drama is like acceptable. Or, you know, like I say, we'll be walking on a sea face somewhere and suddenly people break out into. What's the thing? The flash mob. People break on the platform. That's okay. All that is fine. Okay. You want to do that kind of that's filmie bro. That's not drama. Drama is like, you know, hair pulling, name calling. That happened? No, no. I'm just saying that qualifies as drama. And first of all, okay. You all were like only this much away from like whacking each other. Let's be very honest about that. As in from taking a whack, I would take, I wouldn't raise my hand on it because I have to protect my brand also. No, I'm kidding. But really, have I, am I, am I the kind of guy who will mistreat girls? No, I don't think so. I think it's because like you have a very strong influence of Swati Aunty like on you. So I don't think that that is the case. Like in the sense of where if you're like in love with someone or whatever that you would, and I believe it that you went like very above and beyond. I just think that both of you are not like fully formed as humans. You're talking about Pooja. Pooja. Like you and Pooja are not fully formed humans at that point of time. So like, I think you can't really like, you know, judge you guys too harshly based on that with the Sanjana one. Like, I mean, it was brief, but I think it was for the best for you because I think that you were too emotionally invested in that situation. The context is she was dating someone.

Red flags I ignored before I got hurt (11:52)

She told that guy that she was into him and Ranveer was this crazy guy who was after her. And she told me that she's kind of caged in that relationship and that she kind of wants to have a relationship with me. So she played around with both of us for like one, two years, dude. Dude, that is crazy though, right? Like I'm very happy that you got out of that because that was not a good situation for you to have been in, especially because you were the one who was more emotionally invested in that relationship. And she was invested in like, no one finding out what's happening. Yeah, she would like lie a lot to our friend group and kind of draw these false narratives about me and people stop being my friends. And at that age, when you're cut off as a friend from friend groups, it's damn dark. Yeah. It pushed me into like a damn dark place. Like I got into alcohol, I got into, as in I became an alcoholic. I don't know if you remember how much I used to drink. Yeah, I do. I do. I do. Dude. Like, uh, so when I got ostracized from my friend group, I was, I used to listen to Simple Plan. They have this song called welcome to my life, which is ultimate emo jam.

Meghna, the mischievous. (12:52)

And like, it's like a very like, Oh, kind of song. So I used to basically listen to that and cry a lot. So, sorry for ostracizing you, dude. This was before you. I wouldn't give you that credit. That's how it was in us. I never ostracize you. Yeah. Who would I? Who would I? You had too much fun with me to like be able to like ostracize me. I would also pitch my plans to you in terms of with Pooja. I'm planning on doing this with Sanjana. I'm planning on doing this. Dude, you tell me who else you'll get. Who'll sniff your armpits for you in front of women. You still have this phase. You don't remember this. Where you used to like show up and go like, Hey bro, smell me now. Smell me now. And like, out of conscious, out of being conscious. Yeah. Yeah. And me like the daffa would go like, okay. Oh, a little bit. Rank Ranveer. Put on some D.O. Ranveer. Just like, it was ridiculous. I forgot about that, dude. But anyway, what am I saying next? Who? After Sanjana. After Sanjana. After Sanjana was a good one. Yeah. I really like it. Let's call the good one Meghna. Meghna then. Meghna was really nice. Like, I think she was very, she was a good influence to you. And a good person. And like you met her at the right time. Like in the sense of you were meant to meet her at that time because like, I think. She kept me sane and stable. Yeah bro, she like put you back together from that like situation. From two intense relations, bad and intense relationships. Meghna was like a breath of fresh air. Like she was like. But if I'm being honest, like you did her little dirty. I didn't treat her well, dude. Because. Like she deserved better. I'll tell you what. She's the one I will say. Yeah, I agree and I apologize to her till today. I didn't treat you the way you deserve to be treated. Out of my immaturity, out of my. Dude, I was too concerned with my career and engineering college. I was like, dude, where the fuck is my career going? So most of my energy was into that direction. And somewhere, I'll tell you the honest truth is. And this I say in retrospect, when I look back at that relationship. That I feel I was searching for someone more fucked up and she was too normal. And I like that. That's probably a little accurate because like she was definitely the most like stable straight edge of the people that you have dated. What else do you have to say about Meghna? Because I remember partying a lot with you and her and like all our friends from that phase of life. Yeah. That was when I met Zarwan for the first time. Like at some party, like someone's party. But, uh, again, so what was your learning as a, what is your third person learning about this relationship? I felt like maybe, you know, it was a very, like, if I had to say it, it was like a very giving kind of love, like from her side, in the sense of like, yeah, with Meghna, I will talk about it from her side only because like, to be honest, like I felt like you could have been better. No, I could have, man. Yeah. And like with her, uh, like it was amazing actually at that age to see someone who's like so selfless in the way that they kind of love people. Um, like I always felt like that, like, what was she getting out of this? You know, like, it's like, I would often wonder, but like, she, she was just like a really nice person. I think someone I was passing on the pain of the previous two girls. Yeah, for sure. I was treating her the way the previous two girls treated me in some ways. Yeah. But I mean, I'm glad that you now know that that's not a fair thing to do. I encourage young guys who are in that same zone or, or young girls or whatever, who just not make that same mistake. Don't pass on the pain of your previous relationship to the next person. Yeah. And I like to tell myself that no new traumas, like what has happened now, whatever has traumatized you already, like that's fine, but don't create new traumas for yourself. Like deal with your shit, like when it happens and move on. Yeah. But there is, there is another kind of practical angle to why I broke up with Meghna, which is that, um, I felt that as we grew up, I couldn't see us together in the long term because, which is fair. Yeah. I just, I felt like, I mean, I, if I even tell her this today, she won't agree with me, but that's the point of these two agree on very few things. So I felt like, you know, like you want to be with someone who like kind of more intrinsically gets it, which is fine. Okay. So moving. So bro, listen, I've just realized, okay. That I've realized what the issue was with Meghna. Okay. The issue was that she didn't need to be saved. Like you have this thing, right? Like you have this like in need savior complex from inside about like, I have to protect the women that are around me. Meghna didn't need that shit. She didn't need like your white horse and whatever. I imagine she might've liked it anyway, but I feel like somewhere along the lines, you felt like this chick is not going to need me. And you kind of like, yeah, that I want to know something dark. It'll spoil the flow. Dude, I saw my mom and dad go through a lot and I mostly from my mom's side.

Bubbly Virgin Girl (17:49)

So when you grow up seeing your mom kind of not going through a good time, you innately want to help your mom. So you end up trying to help the girls you're dating. So that's what happened. But moving on to the next one, let's call her bubbly. Okay. Like bunting her bubbly because this was the iconic one. Oi bubbly, oi, oi bubbly. Yeah. Yeah. So what was the, and I choose bubbly because this was the darkest one of all. Bro like honestly, it's not like I knew bubbly that well. I think like of your major serious relationship, she was probably the one that I knew the least. Which is actually a red flag. Like in red. So now that I understand relationships, my closest friends should know the person I'm dating for a while. And somewhere I felt like bubbly chose not to get to know my closest because she didn't gel with y'all and that's fine. But I read somewhere that basically if you want to equate how long your relationship can go, you see how your partner gets along with your closest friends. Like can they have conversation and all because. Is there any pressure on the closest friends to also behave in this particular fun little scenario of yours? Like do the friends also have to behave or only the partner? London, he never got to know you bubbly. Never got to know you. No. So dude, like I met bubbly a few times and then you did that really shitty thing to me that people in relationships do, you know, when they've broken up for one freaking day and they go like, no, no, no, no. Tell me, tell me, tell me what you didn't like about her. And then I was honest with you. And I told you that this is my list of things I don't like about her. And then the next day it was like, Hey, you know, me and bubbly are back together. I was like, are you joking? Like, are you joking right now? Like I have like move forward yesterday. So I thought like for whatever, I think like a lot of ways she was like good for you because she was like high maintenance enough, like for you to like, there was a challenge for me to engage my mind. Correct. And then there was also that severe complex thing because she was very like girly and she liked being protected and whatever, whatever. So I think that in itself was, wow, that's very accurate. That's you for a long time. I used to dig the girly stuff so much, man. I know. Dude, when she used to wear like floral dresses and when she used to wear like the girly her outfits would get, the more I would like melt. You know what I mean? Anyway, that's just me. Yes.

I Wonder Why Girls Like This Have This Misconception (20:18)

I know. Go on, go on. But I felt like, okay, like this is a very like maternal thing, but I felt like, like Lakshant, you know, like I just felt like you could have done better emotionally in terms of like what someone was with you for. And like, maybe it's not true, right? Because like I said, I like prefaced it with the fact that I knew her the least of your girlfriends. Right. But the vibe that I always got was that like, I'm not going to say the word that I use generally, but like, so what I felt like she was, she was really happy about the beer biceps thing, you know, like, Oh, like I'm dating beer biceps. It was a little bit like that. And that's obviously not what she sounds like. I'm just a b****. Like, please don't like read into it. But like, that was what I felt. And so like, I felt that like, you deserve someone who was kind of like with you because she loved all of this. Yeah. And I don't think she loved all of it. Yeah. And then not even like the basic things. I feel like she was the kind of person who kind of had that thing in her mind that I can change this about you given time. Like that was what I felt. Why do girls have that? Because I've heard men complain about this, about the proper... No, it's a fixer upper. This fixer upper concept is a very conditioned thing. It's like in all the media constantly. Like, look at the plot of your average rom-com. Like this guy who doesn't want to settle down. He's such a player. And then this girl who's so awkward, but she meets him and "Ridhaai pari vartan" you know, like, oh, now suddenly his life has changed and he's just like in love with her. And he's a completely different person, but that's all garbage. Right. But that is what we watch when we're so young and so impressionable that of course that's how we grow up. Like what else was it going to be? I wonder if guys have that about girls or guys are just too lazy to like think that they... Do you think guys have that?

What Did You Learn About Yourself In Relationships? (22:17)

I don't think that guys are too lazy. I think it's also like, so like where the mainstream media tends to condition women towards a certain way, the mainstream media also completely ignores the man's side of it, right? Like in what in like these rom-com movies do we really understand of how the man really feels about things? And that in itself is not a good thing. Have you seen that movie that Matthew McConaughey and that famous actor rom-com... How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. It was a flop movie. Yeah. But dude, when I watched it now, after understanding relationship psychology, there's so many good narratives of relationship psychology. This is exactly what guys don't like. She does the 10 things that any guy would hate like in a relationship, like not giving space at all, bitching about the family, you know, like shit like that. That's a great, that's a great random movie recommendation in the middle of this podcast. Yeah. That was a fun movie. What did you learn as a third person viewing that one? Uh, I think it was like, honestly, viewing that one, I just wanted you to do better, but like you were obviously very, very in love with this person. So it was like kind of a thing of learning how to keep quiet myself, you know, because like, you know, that is hard for me, right? Like I will tell you like my opinion about things, but like that one, I feel like I censored my opinion the most about, and like, I mean, like bubbly, if you're watching this, screw my opinion, right? Who gives a shit? But like, I'm just saying that I felt that like, you deserved a little bit better, like someone with like, who loved you more purely for lack of a better way of putting it. Like Meghana. Like Meghana. Yeah. I think it's because of the fact that Meghana was the previous benchmark for me and Meghana loved you so freaking unconditionally that it was just like, Terima kyun a itna condition, bro. Like, what's your problem? Like, so that was like probably where I was coming from. You know, uh, I think Meghana is a devi bro.

When Meghan was Cheating (24:18)

Don't start. I actually think Meghana is a devi bro. Cause I was like, just not up to the mark. So she's like, Ja, now someone will do to you what you kind of did to me. And I learned it dude. You know, also bubbly started with bubbly cheating on someone to be with me. And then that also ended up happening. Yeah, I know. Uh, if you, I doubt you remember this, but, uh, when you guys had first gotten together, I had told you that, um, the, the start doesn't board a very good, like, Kalee zuband. Listen, okay. Nandini aur Meghana ka shiram. No, in the sense of like, I don't know, like I'm in no place to judge how relationships start. I'm just saying that like, I had felt that she had jumped on the bandwagon because you were this like rising YouTube star. I don't know whether she would have necessarily looked at you the same the first time she met you.

The bubbly nightmare (25:10)

If that's, if you had just been like some garden variety engineer working at like a consultancy or something, that's all. Fair man. The lesson you have for me was honestly, and I guess it is with all seriousness, listen to your friends when they are giving you relationship with noise. Like I strongly, strongly feel that this whole experience, you are that friend to some extent Gandhi who's another like old friend. He had said some similar things, but dude, I'm still suffering with bubbly. It's okay, dude. It'll go. Yeah. So it's fine. Like it takes time to get over something that is real. Uh, one must always take solace in the fact that it was real. Yeah. So there's this, I mean, what I've realized a lot about the working of a man's mind through this whole bubbly situation. And, um, I've, I've, I've, I've gone for like therapy about it. I've gone for therapy with people who treat soldiers for PTSD. And one of the therapists had told me that, um, the way a man's mind perceives pain is uh, like your emotional pain will also be read as physical pain. So if you don't give it time to heal and you just don't do anything. So if you don't give it time to heal, it's not going to heal. My immediate response after this whole bubbly situation was go, go 10 X on work. You know, because I thought I'll bring stability and even though it wasn't the best relationship that relationship brought like a juggernaut of stability to my life. So, uh, like I kind of started searching for stability through work, which brings us after the three, four most productive years of my life, which is great. It's been fantastic for my career, but somewhere that emotional injury is not recovered and I'm, I'm working on it constantly. Honestly, I think that, um, Also, sorry, one last thing, the, the momentum of the work now I've taken up so much work that I actually don't have time to chill, you know? Yeah. I mean, it's, you're doing it because like, you don't want to deal with that thing, but like, do like consider this, whatever your, this new partner, whoever is the ideal, right? That you will eventually one day marry. It's not fair on them either that you don't deal with this stuff before. And it's not fair for you to take that baggage into that relationship. I don't think of her at all, but I think of the breakup a lot. You know what I mean? I think I'm completely over her. The breakup also came with a lot of unresolved issues, right? And the fact that there was the fact that she, there was infidelity involved in the thing that, so obviously it creates like a little bit more of a scab than like, if you guys had just broken up because you know, like, actually, no, the things not working out because you don't have time and stuff is like a hard one too. But like, if you guys had just broken up just generally because it wasn't working out, it would have, I think, healed a lot faster if they hadn't been that thing. You know, because like, there's always the thing of like, it hurts you from inside that like someone that you loved and trusted so much kind of did that to you. So that betrayal will take a little longer to heal than the average one is what I would think. Let's see how long it takes. That's my, that's what I stand at now. Yeah. But I think that, uh, honestly that healing comes by being single, just saying no, it's not, you want to say something about the last two, three years of my life. Feel free. No, I don't want to say something about the last two, three years of your life. I'm just saying that like, don't distract yourself with that stuff because that's not the real game. The real game for you is like healing so that you are ready for the person that you're going to marry. And you also know it. So there's no point of like, like who am I to tell someone, Hey, this is how you should live your life. But like, all I'm saying is that knowing you, the person you have so much like, like a paucity of time, like very little time right on your hands. So why are you expanding your time, effort, energy into like things that are going to go nowhere? It's like, if in business you decided to exclusively invest in dead businesses, like for what reason, like it's not bringing you anything. What will bring you something is if you actually take the time to heal the bits that are still knowing at you, because that will make you open to getting the person that you really want. So I think I'm getting there and I hear a lot of women giving me this advice and I've had men telling me that the only thing that that healed them from their experience, you know, like senior or really wise men, you've been mentors to me. A lot of them told me that they only healed once they got into a new. Yeah, but that's so scary, right? Like how is that is so unfair to the person that you're with, like you're making it their job to fix your trauma. I don't think it's their job as much as it is, um, sort of the pain gets replaced with love. Okay. But you, you love the next person so much. I mean, these things are like just waiting for a trigger, dude. Like these are like things that get repressed. Nietzsche Nietzsche Nietzsche. And maybe you're lucky in your whole life. You're never going to get a trigger for that again. But if you get triggered by that, then like you're going to go into some kind of, maybe see the last two, three years, I have met some incredible women who I dated for a while. We broke up for like random reasons. Some other, like we just, again, someone was going away from the country. Someone had some other issue. So we had to break up on like these very miscellaneous reasons, but some of them, while I was dating him, I would probably feel that healing also simultaneously happening with that relationship flourishing again, just my perspective. Maybe that's just how your difference in how like men and women kind of recuperate from breakups because women tend to like obsess over what has happened at every single detail of it.

Thinking I am struggling because I am not over Sanjana yet. (30:33)

And I think women, like in the sense of like, we like to think about what were the intentions? Was there anything real at all? Like we go into like those kinds of spirals. Is cheating happens? No, like in general, also not if like a breakup happens that way. I'm saying that like women tend to like, so women tend to heal kind of in the opposite direction of men where we cry it out first and then we go out into the world and men tend to like jump into other things and then eventually realize that, Oh shit, I need to heal and then get to it. You know, like, so like, I feel like women tend to, because we are more emotional, we process our emotions like first, and then we move on to like moving on. Personally, it kind of bothers me how like fast men move on. Like it's just like, screw you. There's a quote that I believe in heavily, which says that women take really long to get over breakup, but get over it. Yeah. Men take a very short time to get over breakup, but actually never get over it. Yeah, but that's because they're not healing. They've decided that they don't want to heal. Like, I think men are always in love with, so even who's that second one we spoke about Sanjana? I don't know. Like I have no feelings for, but there is a part of me that's like, I don't look at it like in a better way. So somewhere, I mean that that effectively means that you still have a soft spot for Sanjana somewhere. So I don't think so. I don't think that these are the same things. Like, I don't think that like, uh, going like, will be teak that is the same as like having a soft spot for someone. Since we brought up Sanjana, I do want to bring up one more aspect of Sanjana. I'm sorry, I'm cutting you short. That's fine. I remember being very depressed about Sanjana in a train when I was in second year of college and I thought of jumping out of the train. Okay. But I sat down, I looked out of the train and I really just asked God or higher power, whatever to heal me and make me forget this breakup. And I thought I'd never, ever be able to forget it.

Self-Discovery And Growth

Trivia time (32:42)

This was like a year after the whole Sanjana situation had happened in college, but eventually I got over it, you know, in life. And that's my big hope for this bubbly breakup as well. That while I'm thinking that, Oh, I'll never be able to go somewhere, something will happen in that. No, definitely.

Atheist to a Theist journey (32:55)

Because in the Sanjana phase, you are still at your heart of like your Ashik phase. I feel like as Who the f**k says I'm not an Ashik anymore, man? I'm just saying that like you've thoda like sobered down, you know, as time has gone on. And I think that's really important. You're not living in a Bollywood movie. I'm little like a part of me is like a little scared that I've lost my ability to love because of a combination of this and, and business. That's not true. Like that's not true. I'm telling you as a, you, the person that's not true. You just haven't found the right person right now. Like, and it's not going to be the same kind of love, right? Like no two kinds, no two loves are the same kind of love. It's going to be a different kind of love, but I think it's something to kind of look forward. A goni kind of love. It's a song I had to, that's what we do on this show. Yeah, go on. Go on, seriously. No, no, I'm just saying that, like, I think that like there's a different kind of more adult, mature love that is waiting for you. Where like you are actually equal partners with the person. So I asked my mom this and I'll ask my chhoti mami this now. Chhoti ma. Madi ma chhoti ma. Chhoti ma aap apne, sorry it's an English podcast. It's an English podcast. What do you think are the traits that I should look for in a girl? I think we've had this conversation before also. On this show? Not on this show. Let's have it on this show then because it's great content. I just think that I've like, you need someone who has enough stuff going on in her own life and that one is going to be a really hard one for you to do. In fact, that's probably going to be the most challenging one because you have so much happening and you're like doing your businesses and you're doing this podcast and you're running your channels and you're doing so much that it's going to be hard to find someone who can kind of match. I'm not saying that it has to be like someone who matches it for like, you know, video for video or something like that, but it just, you need someone who is either super secure in themselves and what they're doing that they can like kind of just like hold their own or you need someone who has as much going on in their life. But you need someone who can hold their own in front of you because like it's, I think like now being the place you are in your life, I think it's very easy for you to find people who will just agree with you or like who will just kind of like listen to you because you are saying it. Uh, and that's fine too. But I do feel that if you're looking for a partner, like someone who's going to make you better in your life, you can't have someone who's going to feel scared to tell you the truth. Like you need someone who's just going to be straight up with you and tell you that no bro, that was bullshit. Like you need that like, and, but you have to be ready for that and you have to be, you have ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm ready. No, but like, no, my point is not like, not just theoretically. In fact, uh, your conditioning might make you realize a lot of different things about yourself when that situation actually does happen. So it's important to like at that stage, kind of remember that this is what you were kind of going for. So I would say that.

What is Prajakta looking for (35:58)

Guess where we'll have our second date. I don't know. At your house. Great. Like everyone else. Like a house, we'll come for a house party and then you can review whoever I'm dating every time. Do you have any questions for me? Uh, yeah. Can you tell me what are you looking for now? Like what are some specific things that you've realized from your last relationships did not work and now you have like a tweaked plan ahead of you in terms of what I want. In a girl, top of the charts is spirituality. Like some, like, because that's like my base thing.

Can you Keep Up With Conversation (36:36)

Second, like, and I can't even be a good person as a part of that. Okay. The second thing I need is like, um, just can keep up with conversation because I've seen that like I've, I've met some perfect girls who just couldn't, I couldn't. No, no. Intelligence is a given dude. Like if you're an intelligent person, you can't date a dumb person. I'm sorry. Like you just can't. So keeping up with conversation, having their own opinions on like things and you're not just agreeing with like what I say. Uh, third thing, I mean, guys are visual creatures. It's just how men's brains are wired in saying that. Like, okay, so I feel every guy has a different reference when it comes to looks and visual like aspects of the girls they choose to date. And it's very subjective, but it's different for every guy. So I also have some particular, I'm sure in all the girls I've dated, you will just spotted some commonalities in the way they look. Yeah. So you probably, I have pointed out the commonalities in everyone. What are the commonalities? I also don't know. In just the way that they look. Yeah. Like they, some of them legit look the same, legit. Like some of them look like each other, but I think like with all of them, probably the fact that they are high maintenance while you're dating them, Meghna excluded from this. Like Meghna, I don't count in any of this. Like she's not, she's kind of anomalous compared to the rest of them. But, um, yeah, I would say they were probably all a little bit high maintenance, like requiring too much of your energy is one. And I would just say that like the next person that you find, you need to find someone who like cares about your emotions. I know, like, I know that sometimes things tend to become like about how the woman is feeling, but like, I feel like men also have a lot of like emotional turmoil that they tend to suppress.

Skills, healing, self growing (38:13)

So I think you would need to find someone who's like, you know, who brings forces that out of you even when you don't want to, because it is what will kind of help you move ahead. Do you think I deal with emotional turmoil being my friend? No. Really? No. I mean like, I think it depends. I think that you don't like confrontation like at all. And you put like as many people as you can in between yourself and the person that you don't want to confront just so that you don't have to confront them emotionally. Yeah. I mean like, dude, like I've seen where you come from like angry teenager at 14, just ready to like hit someone just like waiting, waiting for his opportunity to like, just slap the shit out of someone to where you are now. So clearly you have worked on yourself. Which is giving the same someone some reiki and healing. I've turned into this gentle dude. Yeah, exactly. Now you're that. So like, I don't know. Of course you've dealt with your emotional turmoil. Yeah. But I don't know. I think there's, there's some more going on now. Like I'm really questioning the reality. It sounds like a victim mentality kind of zone, but I'm, I'm questioning the reality of being a content creator and especially a YouTube, you know, Why is that a victim mentality zone? Just not how I think it's like, no, I mean, introspection is not victimizing because that that same domain has given me everything I have today. You know what I mean? And it's, it's also my craft. It's my skill. Maybe this is just my burn. There's a burnout starting to happen somewhere in my head because I've been working continuously for like one, two months. So I'm reaching that state of needing a break and then I'll be back to thinking normally. But lately I've been questioning in terms of how much longer can I keep creating videos and putting them out and waiting for things to do well and numbers to come up and then numbers are low, changing up things and being, it's deeply mathematical. I'm just questioning that you can do this in a team team very easy. Even though I have a team somewhere, a lot of the calls us individually mine and somewhere I have to appear on screen alone. So a lot of things is person dependent. I'm questioning that.

Random tangents (40:25)

Do I really wish to continue this person dependent journey that I'm on, even though it's giving me a lot and that's probably the emotional turmoil of my late twenties. It's just questions. It's not something I'm sad about. It's just, I'm curious about how I'll switch into something else in my 30s. Yeah, that's not victimizing yourself. Like it's important to ask yourself these questions so that you can like figure out if this is how you want your life to continue. And if it's not, you can make the tweaks.

Art Appreciation

Pastel Dipyasion 1627 (40:49)

That's how your podcast started. I don't want to bring my wife into this world. That's something I know and into this rapidity, you know, like my life is too rapid right now. No, but I mean your life would presumably be rapid at later points also. It's not like aaj rapid, like aaj speed khata mo gaya. That's like death no for you. Yeah. I mean, I kind of do want to slow things down and I'm trying to at least align my business career such that I can take two years off in the middle and just gauge what I want from life again. Once college got done, I've not got a chance to stop and think maybe we'll meet your ideal someone in those two years that you have off.

Musical Divas

Divas have their own songs (41:19)

Maybe. But that was the Valentine's Day podcast because it got heavy. We're going to cut it here. And then the nation. I thank you. I'm going to link your Instagram down below. Did you have fun being on TRS? Yes, I had a lot of fun like washing your dirty linen in public. That's the episode for today. Thank you for listening. So that was the No Holds Barred special. I've just let Nandini leave for her house. We've just done the recording. I wonder what you guys thought of this. I want to get a lot more female guests on the show. They could be my own friends. They could be stars from different industries. So please give us your recommendations when it comes to female guests. This is another episode of TRS. Make sure you follow us on Spotify. Every episode is available on Spotify. 48 hours before it's available anywhere else in the world. Big big big happy Valentine's Day. Big big big love to you guys. And until next time from Ranveer and the team, we'll see you soon. Namaste. Lots of love. love.

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