Alexis Ren ON: Breaking Negative Cycles and Letting Go of the Lies We Tell Ourselves | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "Alexis Ren ON: Breaking Negative Cycles and Letting Go of the Lies We Tell Ourselves".
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It was Mother's Day, 2014. My mom collapsed on the floor. We didn't know what was wrong with her. My sister was like, I don't know what's wrong with her. We got my mom to the hospital and to the next day they were like, she's terminal cancer. She's gonna die in like a couple days. And we were like, what? - Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. I am so grateful to all of you that lend us your ears and your eyes every single week because you're making this possible. On Purpose Community is amazing. And community is something at the heart of what we're going to be speaking about today. Now today's guest is someone that I've been connecting with, messaging with for maybe the last three years now. And we've been dying to be sitting in the same room so we can actually have this conversation. I can't tell you how excited I am. And I've been talking to her for literally just a few moments and I'm already excited for you. I'm talking about none other than actress and entrepreneur Alexis Ren. Alexis, thanks for being here. - Thank you so much. That was so cool hearing that. And that being here, like sitting in this chair with you and listening to that introduction, I'm still honored to be here. Actually, I've been thinking about it this whole week. Like I've looked literally from like 18 up until now, I've looked up to you and the people that you've attracted into your life and then to be one of those people you've attracted, my heart's like. - Yeah, thank you. - That is so sweet, honestly, because when I found out that you were going to come on the podcast and that we connected and I wanted you to come on the fact that you wanted to come on, to me, it was amazing. Honestly, because we used to live in the same building. - Yes. - And we're bumming together in the gym all the time and you're just bumming to my wife. - I just be like, you look like a pie. - I love you. - Oh, I know this way. And you're just bumming to my wife and the elevator all the time. - I was like, nice water. - Yeah, and you just, you know, I've also been following your journey and you probably didn't even know that. - No, I did no idea. - And I've been following your journey and I've been so honestly, and I mean this from the bottom of my heart, I've been so blown away by your activism and advocacy for mental health awareness. - Thank you. - Your work for Women's Empowerment, the beautiful community that you just launched last year called We Are Warriors, which we're gonna talk about today. Like your work is so beyond what many know and I'm so glad that I get to sit down to help you share that story because I really think that, and I felt it only today, you just have this amazing energy that surrounds you wherever you go.
Life Journey And Personal Experiences
There are so many live we want to live (02:33)
And so I want you to know that. - Thank you so much. I feel like one of the things I do is I like spread myself like very thin 'cause I feel like, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to this. There's like so many different lives I wanna live that I just dabble and then I don't give like, this year I've been like, let's just focus on one thing every time. I'm like, let's kinda like what my team is saying. And so I'm like, I'm focusing on one thing at a time, but it's, there's a like, as you know, as if you've been following my journey, I've had just so many different passions and loves. And also like, like there's just so much to fix here. Like to, I'm just, I'm like, oh my God. Like the second I was like, looked around 'cause you know how like you're kinda in your head and then at one point you're just like, oh, like you're like early twenties, like whoa. I was like, if you don't feel you have a purpose, I can point out five, like right, like there is so much that like just needs service and help and when I first, I almost felt paralyzed when I like first saw how many, well one like on the mental health aspect, just like our relationship with our parents and like how that stems and how we just continue this weird cycle and how can I help break these cycles? So we can create like new beliefs, new patterns and help heal, especially for females in general 'cause we've been suppressed, but just in all aspects of what are healthy relationships, what is normal?
Learning all the aspects of a healthy relationship (03:46)
'Cause the normal we've been living is not healthy. So what is the new normal, right? So it's just like going into those subjects. And then of course like, I'm like earth. Oh no, I didn't even know. I'm so sorry. And like going into like plastic, the plastic pandemic and like and then learning the like how the thing that has blessed me so much, social media has actually been hurting so many people and that I've, the girls that have been following me and it like broke my heart just like, there's just so many things that broke my heart and those it almost like when my heart broke and I was like, well there's a path and then I just would keep like going through those things and then I, you know, I grew up as a model and that was like all I knew. And so my self-worth was very much on like, well I'm pretty and that's my offering, like I'm pretty. And so I felt very scared 'cause I was like, I wanna just like reach my hand out out of this box that I've been in and there was a lot of back, you know, people being like, why does she have anything to say about any of these topics? But I was like, can we all just talk about them then? So like it's okay 'cause there's just a lot. And then that's, it was almost like I would just like step, kind of like a mermaid coming out to like, you know, just like stepping like, I can turn into you, I can speak on different things. And so just finding my way through the puzzle, my God sister always says this and I believe it. She says there's no problem only puzzle pieces and like just trying to figure out what goes where that's been like a series of last couple of years and very interesting. - I love that. We're gonna talk about each and every one of those. Because you've just shared so much with us. And I wanna thank you for just your vulnerability across the whole time. Like you've always never been scared of just diving into what your heart cares about. And I think that's beautiful to see. But let's start with what was Alexis's first passion ever?
Going deep into your own creativity at a young age (06:01)
When was the first time you felt that passion, that interest, that curiosity about something back to when you were tiny? Like whatever age you wanna go to. - Yeah, I mean, so I was homeschooled my entire life. I've never set foot in a classroom. And so that really gave me the opportunity to just like go deep into like my own creativity. And you know, it was the three girls all being homeschooled. So there's a lot to handle my mom's. - Are you the eldest of the younger? - I'm the middle child. - And your parents decided to do this with three girls. - My mom, my dad was like, - Okay. - My mom was like, I'm doing this. She was very, I feel like the term woke is very much overused. But she, back then, like, I mean, she homeschooled herself through college. It was very, very different back in that. And it was just not accepted. I spent so much time being in front of the camera, like creating music videos. Like it was all I wanted to do. And because I didn't, I wasn't around, the only people I was around were the people that accepted me. I just went full force into whatever creative thing I was doing. And it was really interesting because my mom, she was obsessed with being like, what are you interested? And then we'll learn subjects based off of that subject. So for instance, I fell in love with ballet. That was my first, I would say that was my first passion. And she was like, okay, we're gonna learn history through ballet. And so there was just this desire to learn that I was just super accustomed to. And so when I would talk to my friends being like, oh, you're going to school, what are you learning? And they would just roll their eyes and like, hate it. And I didn't understand that 'cause I was like, that's what we're here to do is learn. Like, and it's fun, it's like so exciting. So I was very blessed to have that kind of an upbringing. - Your mom's genius. - And my mom, my idea. - That's amazing. - The longer, the more in my adult life I'm getting, I'm just like, my mom was so aware. Like it's, and I'm like living, we'll get to that part, but like I'm living for her now as well 'cause everything that all of her beliefs I'm fulfilling. And like hopefully just like carrying it on, carrying her legacy. But with ballet, it was a love at first, you know? 'Cause you're a little girl, you're like, I'm gonna dance on the cardboard box. And like I would like perform little things for my mom. - Is that the ballerina voice? - Yeah, I don't know what voice that is. You're gonna hear that voice a lot. - It's brilliant, yeah, I've been hearing it. Like, I love it, it's great. - I don't know where it comes from. And so my mom was like, okay, you wanna do this? You wanna do ballet? So I studied for 15 years. I'm still studying now. So I would say now 24 years now I've been studying. But like it was, I stopped around 16 because, I mean, first of all, just shout out to ballet. 'Cause that where, if anyone is who is a dancer is watching this, like you guys know the type of work ethic that you're taught, we also know the trauma that you're given. So it's almost like a wand and then a sword at the same like edges because my work ethic is out of this world. All I know is how to put 100% myself in. And that's what ballet taught me. I had this really strict Russian teacher. Yuri, Shaniori. And it was just, I was constantly like please, I just wanted to please, like please, please, please. And so I got into this deep people pleasing habit. And that stemmed from my first passion, which was very interesting 'cause it bled into everything else that I fell in love with. And then it almost like, and this is so interesting and I was just reflecting on this with a friend last week, it reversed all of the work that I'd done in my homeschooling years to create my own identity. And almost because it's like, if you're constantly like, hmm, do you like what I did? I can do it different, let me know. Like I can be better for you. You start to lose your identity. And so that happened so doobly to the point in ballet that I still remember the first moment where I was in ballet class. And it was just, I was at a breaking point. 'Cause one, I think around the age of 16, 15, you can kind of tell whether or not you'll be accepted into like a company or something. By just the way your body is made. And my hips were never that flexible. And I would always like, just hurt myself to try and get myself there. And it just never worked. So one time in class, my teacher was just like, just grab my leg and threw it to the back. And was like, no, and like yelled at me so hard in my, like something in my-- - With me from you. - He like, I was on the bar and he just took my leg and threw it to the back. And he was like, no, like no, I like see, no. And it just broke my heart. 'Cause I was just like, I can't do this anymore. I love ballet so much, but I can't, I can't, this is like ruining me. And so it was very interesting 'cause right at that moment where I was like, I don't think that ballet is for me on the level that I wanted. Modeling, I was scouted like literally like within a year and a half before I quit ballet.
Scouted for modelling at 14 (10:37)
And then that was a new path that I was like, I can do this, like I can smile and like go, you know, like I can, this is really fun. And I remember I got signed first time. - How old were you in the first time? - I was 14, 14. And it was like 15, was around the time I quit ballet. Yeah, I was like 15. And then my agency was like, so do you wanna go live in Tokyo for six months through a year by yourself? I was like, sure. Like my mom was like, well, I raised you. So sure, you know, like if I can't trust you, then I don't trust myself. And just like gives you an idea of how amazing of a mother who she was. So it was like, it almost went, I just, to bring this all back around, my passions, I grew up so quickly from all of my, it was just like, you're an adult world, you're an adult world, you're living on your own, you're an adult world. So by the time I was 16, I was, I already felt like I was an adult. - An adult, yeah. - An adult and it felt amazing. I was like, mom, everything's amazing. Like I'm doing all the things that you wanted. Like here's a new dishwasher. Like I got you like whatever. And so I felt on top of the world around 16, I was like, finally got my, like it just was working out so beautifully. I was working every day. And I was like, and not to go through my whole life story, but this is kind of an important story moment. - We're here for you.
When her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer (12:12)
- When I think it was Mother's Day, 2014, my mom claps on the floor. And I was like, very, I didn't, we didn't know what was wrong with her. I mean, my sister was like, I don't know what's wrong with her. We got my mom to the hospital. And the next day they were like, she's terminal cancer. She's gonna die in like a couple days. And we were like, what? And like, I think anyone knows, like especially females with their mothers, like she was my first reflection. So like I didn't understand, I mean, you don't understand death at that age. You're just like, I'm too close to beginning of life to understand death. And that was crazy. So I think that almost, 'cause she ended up passing away, well, she refused all cancer treatment. She's holistic, she was a holistic health nutritionist. So she like, refused everything. Everyone was like, you're not going through chemo. And she was like, that's gonna kill everything in me. Like, no, which I love her for that. She was just so powerful. And she was so stuck on her beliefs. And I mean, they said she was only gonna live two weeks. She ended up living another like six to eight months. So that's like, I was like, I gotta give it to you, mom. Like that's amazing. And so I kind of, I got to learn how to live life without her while she was still there, almost 'cause she was like in bed. But I didn't quite understand how much I would lose myself from losing her. And that was like, I think it was like on top of the, the people pleasing aspect in each of my, each steps in my career, and then losing that reflection of just everything I've wanted to be. I almost had to like start again. It was weird. I still remember like being in my car parking lot, just like having this whole breakdown being like, I have no idea who I am anymore. Like this is crazy. And so yeah, I just like went on a rant tangent, but that was like, I think a defining moment in like one, who I wanted to be, two, how I wanted to serve, and then three, how, like how could I, how do I break the boxes that people put me in? 'Cause my mom was so good at breaking boxes. She was like, oh, you think college is the only way? Nope. Like, oh, you think like Western medicine is the only way? Nope. And so it was just, that inspired me to like go down all at the past that I'm currently now creating. So it was like crazy. So I thought that was a really long tangent. - No, it wasn't a 12. Thank you so much for sharing that. Like thank you for, thank you for sharing that, honestly. Let's come get away tomorrow, better tomorrow. - Because at 14, you know, you're obviously not making sense of it in that way. At 14, it's, it is the most heartbreaking thing that can happen to anyone at any age. But to have it at such a young age and defining age, and then losing yourself, where do you think that took you at that time? Today it's obviously taking you to some beautiful, wonderful things which we'll get on to, but at that time, you've mentioned the people pleasing mentality a few times.
Financial independence and the social media attention (15:03)
It comes from trying to impress your ballet teacher. Where does that then take you? And how does that affect your mind, because that's the next stage. - Yeah, I think with the people pleasing thing, it's almost like turning it around and being like, now how can I harness this for myself? Right? Because I know how hard I work. Now, can I not work for that, but can I work for me? So like that was like the switch. And I've always found, and I was literally talking about this last night, but I kind of, I believe, and I hope I can state this correctly, but how low you go is how high you'll go. And I keep seeing that in life. Like if I'm, whenever like I hit like a low, like just patch, I'm just like, oh, do you own me? Like, what are you gonna do to make this up? Like, let's go. And then of course it like, it'll launch me into a next pad. So at the time I didn't realize that, but I do think like the reason, like going through the passing of my mom and everything was, I literally just look, it's her wedding ring. But it was the reason I got launched into such like a fast, like, like completely blessed life was because, he was like, okay, just wait, I got you, like I got you. And now I can almost like with everything, with everything I've done, and like, especially with We Are Warriors, like that community was the manifestation. Like that's something my mom would have created, right? 'Cause when I went on, 'cause it was modeling, and then social media started coming up. And I would just remember photos of me when I was very, very young, 15, going viral on the internet, and I didn't understand it. And I was working full time as a model. I didn't really understand what was going on. - Tell us about that experience. - Yeah, that was, that was great. I mean, I was just so happy. I was just so, I was like, I'm working, e-com, not I was a day, I was hot back. Like, I was just like, I was living a dream, 'cause I was financially independent. I could help my mom out. Like everything was going amazing. And then on top of it, I was getting this, like, this attention that I never thought I would get. And so there was, it was, I think, 2013 or '14. And then 2015 hit. And that was interesting, 'cause I had to, I went through my mom passing, like, publicly. So that was like, I think the first understanding that the second you share your vulnerabilities is almost like it's setting you free. That's why I'm so, I always, whenever I go on interviews, I'm just like, can I think new thoughts here? 'Cause I would like that. I love thinking new thoughts. I don't like repeating, you know, I hate preparation. It's like scaring me. I'm just like, no, it's gonna ruin whatever's meant to happen. - I so agree. I say that all the time. And I hope I help you do that today, but that's the same for me. If I'm ever being interviewed, I'm like, I wanna say stuff that I've never said before. - Exactly. - Like, that's what excites me. It's like, can this be self-disciplined? - It's like, you're in our room with a friend and you're just like, hmm, I just thought of something. - Yeah. - What if, like, that's me. - I love that, yeah. Well, please go there. - Yeah, I'd go on any tangent, you wanna go ahead, yeah. - Yeah, let's see what will come out. But yeah, so it was the modeling and then social media came along. Instagram started blowing up. I started traveling with an ex-boyfriend of mine. We were super, super young. The reason we connected actually was his mom passed away from cancer as well. So we had this really deep connection, I would call it a trauma bond now, but it was very deep. And so we started traveling and picking up this attention. And so one of the things, I can now look back at it as an adult and be like, well, I was trying to put him in the place of my mom and I was trying to make him take care of me, the way my mom did. And so it was just, it was going, it was not going to be a stable relationship, right? And so, and then he, we just, we didn't know it, love us, right? I think around those times and still it right now, I'm still learning what love is to me personally. And so finding who matches that same understanding of connection. So that was crazy 'cause I was trying to replace my mom with a guy and then blowing up in the public eye. And so I just, I remember like, we like posted this video and then the next day, it was like all over the news. And I was just like, what is happening? Like I don't understand. And then people are like, we're calling them influencers. And I was like, what? What does that even mean? I didn't, I didn't understand. - Yeah, it didn't exist. - 'Cause I was like, I've been a model my whole life. And so it just, it blew. And I honestly like, I can't, I wish I could tell you more about what happened during those years, but I think I've fully like disassociated. Like you know how like with, you just like, I've disassociated, like between like 2015 to 2017, I was, I don't really remember much, but it was, I just remember how quick everything happened. And it was just like playing this, it was my first time, I don't wanna say it was my first time acting, but it was my first time playing a role.
First time playing a character (19:48)
And I was like, this is interesting because I feel a lot of pressure to be this perfect thing all the time when in fact I was actually the complete opposite. And that's why I manifested this, this character I was playing online because I wanted to be here so bad 'cause I was a rag. And I came to a moment where like the relationship wasn't going well, the traveling was too much on my body 'cause we were going, we would spend like three days in one place and half around. Like it was just like the most insane filled up a passport in like two years. So it was a lot on my body as well. And I just remember it was my body that gave out first. And I've always, my mom always told me to listen to my body test, myself always say my name over again until I can hear myself again. Like all of those things she's taught me, but I got all of it. I threw all of her knowledge, all of her wisdom away. - Tell us some of those things.
Keep saying your name until you hear your voice drop back into your identity (20:39)
Walk us through some of those that you let go because I think they'd be really powerful for you to listen. - Yeah, okay. So one of the things that she always, whenever I would hang out with a friend, I would come home and she'd be like, "Are you there?" I was like, "What do you mean?" And she was like, "You sound like Sophia. "Are you on Sophia?" As I did in the year I was saying, "Say your name." And so I would say Alexis. And she's like, "Say your name, say my full name." And I'd keep saying it until I'd hear my voice drop like back into my identity. And then she'd body test me and she'd be like, she'd say, "I am Alexis." And she'd push me down. And it just kept getting stronger. I do this with supplements as well. When I'm holding a supplement, I'll hold it down and press it down to see if my body likes it or whatever it is. She would, she was a firm. She would play the secret in the minivan whenever we'd go on our errands and I'm just like, "What is this?" I don't understand. And she'd be like, "We have magic, honey." And I was like, "What?" So I was like, "I wanna manifest something." And you know, at the time, you know, I'm like 12 being like, "I wanna manifest a red ball." And so I spent three weeks trying to manifest this red ball. This is still my favorite manifestation story ever. But I still think it's like my best accomplishment in my presentation 'cause it was so specific. I knew exactly what it felt. I knew what it looked like. I didn't know where it was gonna be, but I just knew I was gonna find it. And three, four weeks later, I found it at the park and I was just like, "Oh!" I like freaked out and I was like, "Mom, this is the ball." She was like, "What ball?" I was like, "The ball, I thought in my head when you said that we have magic powers." So that was like, that was weird. - I love that. - So yeah, it was like a-- - Thanks for listening. - She was always just planting these like seeds of, she would never tell me what it was. She would just have me question whether or not that felt good to me. Like the truth itself. She was like, "How do you feel about us having, you know, powers beyond just our hands?" And I was like, "That sounds amazing." And she was like, "All right, well then, that could be a possibility. Like, why don't we try? Like, why don't we practice this together?" So it was almost like, I was like, you know, we're like partners. So she was like my friend, I would say more so than a mother, which I wanted to replicate within all of my relationships, all of my friendships. Like, that was like, she was so, just so powerful in that way. But yeah, I know-- - I'm amazing, yeah. - Sorry, you were telling us-- - I don't know what I was saying. - You said that at that time, you let go of all of these things that your mum had taught you. - Oh yeah. - That's why I wanted to side-back. - So yeah, so just like, let it go. I didn't believe in magic anymore. I didn't like, it was, I like saying magic better than law of attraction. 'Cause I feel like that's been like over years, but I'm like, magic. - Yeah, I like magic. - Yeah, magic. It's way more fun. So I got to the point where my body failed on me. And so I got super sick. I remember I was bettering him for like three weeks and I had an amazing support system and obviously we all know how special like our support system is. And I kind of was, I didn't see them at the time 'cause I was just in this relationship. I was traveling, but they were always on the sidelines. Like my God's sister and my sisters and like, my God mothers, I have so many God mothers. It's like, actually crazy and I'm so blessed. It's just like, "Are you my mommy?" Like literally like, I'm just like, I love all the shout out guys. You know who you are. But they slowly, the second they saw that my ears, because my mom would always say, she was like, "If someone's not ready to hear you, "don't bother trying to speak to them." And so they finally kind of came around and were like, "Are you ready to listen?" And I was like, "I'm ready." 'Cause I was like in bed. And that's when I started to really like, I went through like deep, we ended the relationship and then I went through this crazy, I would say healing journey. It was almost like, how would I explain it? Like I took myself through my own like retreat, I would say. Like I did, like I had things I would do every morning, like a journal, like take out the trash, just journal every morning, like get out all of my thoughts, see what my patterns were that created my identity and see then what patterns I wanted to hold on to were let go of. And so that was a lot. And then at the same time, I was like, I want to go deep into this modeling thing.
Taking a break from Hollywood (24:49)
Like I want to do this, I want to finally do what I've always wanted to do. I felt like I got sidetracked with so much traveling and it was exhausting me. And I felt like I was living in someone else's dream. Like I wanted to do this. And so I went deep into modeling and I was like super excited. I did sports illustrated and like all these amazing things. But there was, but my mental health was getting worse. And I was like, what? Is that happening? I don't understand. Like Alexis, I almost felt like embarrassed. I was like, what? Alexis, everything is happening. Why are you a wreck? Like I was trying to hide it constantly with even my closest friends 'cause I was like, this doesn't make sense. And this is like actually ridiculous and I'm being dramatic. So I need to stop. To the point where my god sister, Ali, Ali, Ali, she was like, I think you, she was like, you need to come to Hawaii. You need to come to Hawaii and you need to get out of Hollywood. You just need to like get out of this thing that's so attracted to the essence of you that is not all of you. Like I want you to fall in love with all of you. And so I went to Hawaii and actually lived there for nine months. And that was when I really went like, it was so hard. Like self-healing is not fun. - No. - It is not, no, everyone. - It's not like the five minute journal. Like how do you feel today? Great. Like no. Like I'm just like, wow, I ended up falling in love with poetry 'cause I would just like get so deep into one, the pain that I would almost find, I would get a high, this is weird. I'm sure artists and poets know this, but like you get like a high off of like seeing some pain in you that can be told in a way that everyone can, and you're just like, what? - Yes. - And so I just like wrote and I was like in the jungle, I would just spend all day meditating. Like my sister would make me like go to a tree and scream at a tree and like just, like just going through the whole thing to almost like, she would, she used the, she said to me one time, she was like, it's like an onion. She was like, we just have to take off all the layers that were put onto you. Like from literally the moment you got here. She's like, I'm not just talking about like, what you think is your trauma. She's like, I'm talking about everything because no matter what, it's like we get here in life and we're just like perfect. We're pure, just experience. We're just here for the moment, every, and then slowly but surely we start getting like, well, this is how we should feel about this. This is how we should feel about this. This is what happens when we do this. This is our idea of love and like it just goes, goes, goes, so we went so deep into the healing to where I almost felt like a clean slate again. And the second that I felt that, dancing with the stars called me and they were like, you should come back to LA and I was like, what? It always happens like that. No, I'm like-- As soon as you're doing your deepest healing, you get this like huge opportunity. Huge opportunity, exactly. And I was like, ah, I don't know if I want to do that and I was very uncertain because I'm always very wary when it comes to reality TV because, you know, they can just like change things. They can change your narrative. They can change your narrative. Like so intensely to the point where I'm just like, that wasn't even me. But I remember, I remember one of the books I read, Simon's, Sinac, he was talking about the why. And I was like, well, if I can just have a why with everything I do, then I don't have to be worried about the outcome because I had my intention. And I remember it being one of my mom's favorite show on the planet and I was like, And so I went back to LA and did the show and that was like crazy. I got to dedicate a dance to her, which was insane. And like I was just there for the experience. I honestly, to be honest, I actually didn't want to win. I mean, you get wrapped up in the competition, but I was like, I don't want to win. I just like, I didn't even think I was a baby. - But I love that you did it because it was for your mom's love. - Oh my God. It was so fun. Got to dance for her and it was just like, that was a crazy experience. So it's almost like, and this is what I kept seeing, and around this time, I was questioning, what do I want to be for the world? This was around the time where I was like, speaking my head out being like, I don't have to, can I offer more to this world and just the way I look? 'Cause they keep telling me that's all I have, but like, maybe I have more. - Did you really feel that people would just, you felt that people's response was that, that's all you have?
Self-reflection amidst bullying and trolling (29:14)
Was that very like, was that like a visceral feeling? - Cyberbullying is like a real thing. It's really, it's happening. - Tell us about that because I think that you're someone obviously who's stood up for so many important causes. Like you're saying now you've had cyberbullying, trolling, comment sections, whatever it may be, tell us a bit about what you experienced and then how you found your way through it. And I get that it's an ongoing thing. - Yeah, no, for sure. I mean, it was really helpful when I started to self-reflect, 'cause then I could just see the pain that people were inflicting onto me, and I was like, it's almost like, if you're pretty, you can't be smart, you can't have, 'cause it's too much, and then you're too much of a threat, and then that's like, that scares. And I was just like, it made me sad. So at first it hurt me, 'cause I was like, they're right. Like I would believe that might be like, they're right. Like I should just stay in my lane. And then after a while I was just like, no, the only way, and this is what I've been coming to learn with the community is like, the only way I can authentically help you is to be. That is, I can't preach to you, I can't teach you, I have to be it. And if I want everyone living and knowing that they're multi-dimensional beings and knowing that they can do so much at the same time, then I have to honor and see that in me, and that's terrifying, 'cause then that means I actually have to like stop leaning, 'cause they were right, I was leaning on this thing of like what society was telling me that I was. And so I almost had to like take off my like, training wheels and just be like, you're on a bike mile. You're going downhill. We have breaks, you've never used them yet, but like this is what we're doing. And that's when I started to figure out like, no, I don't wanna conquer the world, I wanna like help it, and then how can I serve? Because whenever I think of my idols and just people who I look up to, you know, when I was younger, it was like the Victoria's Secret Angels. And now for me, it's like my godmothers, like, oh my god, you guys are in like actual warriors, like true warriors and so. - Why do you think that changes and obviously Victoria's Secret themselves have gone through a massive evolution?
Heroes are people that continuously admit why they are not (31:17)
- Massive. - Recently, like, but why do you think that changes as you grow older? Because I think that's something that a lot of - Yeah. - Young adults, teenagers, and then when you become an adult, you start looking at your family differently, your parents differently, their sacrifice. - Well, yeah, 'cause you start to, I feel like you start to just like actually see them, like you almost come up to like the, like you're not just like looking up. - That's a good friend. - One of my things my mom implemented in me was, like you're not, she was like, I would prefer it if you call your friends' parents' names by their first names, just like do it and see how they feel. I was like, what? So I can call him Mark. I don't have to call him Mr. whatever. And she's like, no, like we're human. Like let's, I want you to be on everyone's terms and I want you to see how that feels. Well, I mean, for looking up to the Victoria's Secret models, I still think like what they created back in the day was beautiful and it was art, you know, it was just like something to celebrate and it was a type of woman that we could celebrate. We can celebrate all types of women's, but I think it was more so their energy of like, I own this space that I'm living in. And it was new to me because I was growing up in a living situation where my mother was very much so like, let me just, she's like, it's like, we're the water and she's the tub and she's like, let me just like formed however you guys need. And so it was very much a people-pleasing complex of just like I'm going to be everyone's everything and the perfect everything for them, which ultimately is the reason why like I think her health declined 'cause you can't sustain that. It's unsustainable. And then there was a lot of things that I didn't see within her. So I think for me, heroes are the people that are continually admitting why they're not almost, if that makes sense, like it's just like, oh no, but not like still being like humble and stuff, but just continuously knowing that there's always something to learn. There's always something you don't know. Like my mom always said, stay teachable, stay teach always stay, you were, you never know like the person who is like ahead of everyone else is the one that knows that he knows nothing. Like is that kind of the vibe? And so that's what I grew up in. And so that kind of energy I started to be attracted to more than just like I own this space. - Yes. - It was more so like these people who would sit in silence and like that's when I really started getting into like podcasts and reading and I just went deep into that space because the stories, I mean, I think at heart I've always been a storyteller, like my whole life has just been a series of stories that I can play. - And your mother sounds like amazing storytellers. - Yeah, absolutely. And so listening to people's experiences was the best way that I learned. And then I started to look up to those people. So it just, it changed from like, this is the image that I wanna perceive to like these stories inspire me. And like that's why this person inspires me. So it changes over time, it evolves. And like thank God it does cause like, to be honest, it's exhausting only thinking you're known as your looks. Like that is like actually the most soul exhausting thing cause you constantly are in this state of fight or flight. And it is like I've been starting to say this affirmation. I think I started about a month ago, but I always say like, my looks are the least interesting thing about me. Like I always say that all the time I'm just like, I don't, this is like not what I'm focusing on right now. It's not what I don't care. Like it's a tool, but I don't, that's not what I will rely on. That's not what I want females to rely on. That's something I want them to celebrate in all image, all side of anything, celebrate it. But it shouldn't be like a something to lean on. Like that's the unhealthiness. And so when I created "We're Warriors" I can just like briefly touch upon this.
Notes are gold, go make them (35:09)
When I created, yeah, I was, I think around 2018, I still have it in my notes. It was really weird. I was like scrolling through my notes one day and I went all the way to like 2017. And it literally said in a sentence, I want to create a community that I can talk to and help evolve like once a week. Or and then also like in all of my like intentions of my notes, it was like, I want to help evolve human consciousness. I was like one of them. And it was just like, whoa, like I had no idea what I was saying. Like notes are powerful you guys. Like notes on the phone. - Apple notes has all the best ideas in the world of anyone in the world. - I know you never look back. And you're just like, this is gold and you never look back. But like when you do like you guys after this, go through your notes. Like go through your notes. - I agree. - They're crazy. Cause you'll see one like things that you manifest that you didn't even realize. And then two just parts of yourself that you're like pretty cool. Like I didn't know I said that, you know? So that was like the first, I think, manifestation of the company. And growing up like in the fashion industry, I felt very like everyone was like, you could create this brand or you could create this clothing. And then but like my love for the environment, I was like, we don't need another bikini. I just, this does not feel in alignment. Like this is not, so how can I create something that is meaningful, that does have a promise, but the company itself is the promise. Like it's not like a brand having a promise. And so I knew from being homeschooled that the education system is, you know, I would love to help reconstruct that or take that down completely. But just say, just say that. - We'll work on it. We're looking at it together. - We need to work on it because it's so outdated and not the tools that you will need. And it breaks my heart, seeing, I think I was, yeah, in 1920, I was seeing all my friends come out of college or drop out of college being like, well, that was a waste of time. And I'm like, that's heartbreaking to me. That is absolutely heartbreaking to me. And like, how can we fix this? - Yeah, it's like 18 years of your life. - And your prime life, I was like, you can learn at any point in your life, but you're only gonna be 18 once. And so it's like, I would say experience more than being in a classroom, but, and it breaks my heart. And so I knew that I wanted to help on that level. I just didn't know what, I didn't know how. After like telling my story on Dancing With The Stars, I was like, storytelling. This is like, this is so much, this is so much more me than anything I've experienced before. And then what is, what is versions of storytelling? And I was like, oh, acting. And the reason I never fell into acting is 'cause I'm born or raised in LA. And so just like being here, I'm just like, well, do I want to be like everyone else? You know, like it just, it was everyone else was doing it. And so I almost, I wanted to go against the grain. Like as if Molly was a going against the grain. But like in my head, it was. - You're the rebel. - Yeah, I was the rebel. But I didn't realize how much I loved storytelling. And I almost, and acting is very interesting.
Acting And Personal Wellness Insights
Acting is a tool used to either get closer to yourself or farther away from it (38:10)
It's like, it's a tool. It's used to either get closer to yourself or farther away from yourself. And I love the idea of finding myself in characters. 'Cause like we really are, we're a blank slate and then we build our identities and we're like, this is me. And so it's like the way Jim Carrey perceives it, I truly do perceive it as well. I'm just like, I'm so excited to like find new parts of myself in this character. And so I fall in love with it really quickly. And so that's when I was like, oh my God, I can't, why didn't I think of it? And so I went on to acting and I was so excited and everything was going so well, booked my first film and then everyone was like, hey, so there's this thing that's, people are calling it COVID. I was like, what is happening? And I was on set for my film and everything got shut down. Like I was in Oklahoma City and they were like, we have to shut down everything. I went to New York just to like go there for a second. It was a ghost town. It was, I was like, I've never seen this end and I'm sure everyone knows what I'm talking about. So we don't have to go deep into it, but it was crazy. And I was tripped out and I was mortified. And I'm sure a lot, not mortified. I was so, yeah, mortified. I was so sad because I'm sure a lot of people felt this, like things were moving and like we were, it was things were moving and girls my age, you know, 21, 22, 23 were like at our stage where we're like young adults and like, we're moving. Yeah, people were graduating. Yeah, like things are moving and like, we're starting to really understand our career and that's truly what I felt. And then everything just stopped. And I was so sad. And then at the time I was also going through a breakup. So it was just like this horrible, like I have nothing to distract myself from the pain of this lesson. And then also you have to let go of something that you now have fallen in love with. So it was like two things I fell in love with that I had to let go of. And I was like, oh. Never easy. God, you love me. And then global pandemic around that. Yeah. And then it was like, I was texting my, like are you guys okay? Like what's going on? So that was really crazy. And so my God's sister, once again, was like, hey, you should come to Hawaii. Like I'm here. Hawaii is your place. It's me and Hawaii have such an interesting relationship 'cause she's like, you ready to come home? I'm like, no, I don't know. I wanna be here in Hollywood. And she's like, you need to remember. I'm like, no, I don't know. And so it was like that again. And so I felt that happening again. And I was like, no, I just went through this in 2000. I don't wanna do like a rebirth. Like I don't wanna, I don't wanna go through any pain, even though I was already in pain and clearly I needed to go and fix some things and within myself. - Unless you want, yeah, you wanna say, yeah. - Yeah. - And yes, I went back to Hawaii and it was actually, it was amazing but in the beginning it was very hard 'cause I basically had no idea what I was doing. No one did. I felt horrible 'cause I was miserable and yet I was in a beautiful place. So then that was like, there was this guilt as well of not being able to enjoy it. And I didn't feel right complaining about any of it, but I was just in a lot of pain. And that's when I started to go back to what if I'm feeling this way? Like who else is feeling this way? And who else has been feeling this way for a very long time? And so we are warriors just kind of started. It just, it really, it's interesting. It started as a workout program. I was just like, I'm just gonna create a workout program. But with this workout program, I'm gonna be doing live calls every week with the girls to like talk to them and keep updated with them. And it just, the first live call, it was very much about the workout stuff. And then the second live call, we just started kind of talking about like beliefs and experiences. And I saw the opportunity that I had. I mean, I had hundreds of girls on this live call and I was like, this is the kind of change. And I think, and I've said this before, and I'll say it again 'cause I believe it so much, we think impact is like so much about numbers and views.
Talking to girls in a live call about traumas (42:02)
And if we don't have a million views on this video, it wasn't a success or whatever it was. But in retrospect, that kind of impact does not work at the same of having 30 girls on a live call. And I'm talking to them directly about their trauma and their experience. Like that I know for a fact and like, not to get on my end myself, but like it's just so powerful and profound. - It's deep. - It's real. - Yeah, it's depth. - Yeah, it's real. And like, - Substance. - I know that my conversations with that girl is going to help them be a better friend, a better mother, a better, like everything because I'm helping change their fundamental beliefs and helping them work through their trauma. And so I didn't know that I could even do that, but because I went through my mom, because I went through all these things, I can look at pain as pain and be like, now how do we wanna approach this? What's the story you're telling with the pain? And then what is the actual pain? And so like separating the two and then figuring out how we heal both of them, it's very interesting. And so I felt like there was something there. And so I just slowly started to grow it. - Yeah, what I love about that though is that I think what you just showed there is sometimes you just have to start. - Yeah, do it. - Like you don't know exactly what it's gonna be, but if you really care about it and your present, it's going to teach you how it needs to evolve. - Exactly. - And now, you know, not to draw on numbers, but to show how much it's grown, it's like you've got over 3000 people in over 70 countries. - It's really, it's amazing. - Congratulations. - Thank you so much. - When you first told me about that, and I remember seeing the articles in Forbes and just seeing the coverage, and I was just thinking, this is amazing, like this is so special. And today when I'm here listening to your background and your mother's coaching of you and schooling of you, and I can see just how present she is and her wisdom is in your life, I'm so excited for you to be sharing her through this as well. And that's what you said, that this is what she would have done. - Yeah, you've done.
If you can just make someone smile, the world will become a better place (44:06)
- Tell us about what you're doing, and you're like, oh, this is what my mom would have done. Like tell us a bit about that. - She has taught me that it's not about trying to help a thousand people, it's like, it really, and this is so cheesy, but like I keep saying into the girls as well in the live calls, I'm like, you guys, if you can just make someone smile and elevate, our life will be a lot better. Like we're at the point where it's just like, let's just enjoy this experience. Like I know that there's a lot going on, and I understand that and we need to help where we can, but we're all suffering, and so we should look at that. Like suffering is like what we connect on. And so then how can we break through like the veil? Like if I can just like crack a joke and make someone laugh, like almost like break the character of like, I'm just the guy delivering food. Like that's so healing, and it's like having it on, it's like you're fueling people up. So it's almost like you can be chargers for these people, like you can, and so I am being chargers to the girls so that they can go out and then be chargers for everyone else, and so that's one of the things my mom and she was the best listener on the planet. - Tell us about the community more, like tell me a bit about like, you know, what are the ways in which We Are Warriors is helping the community, what kind of sessions do you have online, what are the kind of themes and topics, what are the format and structure, because I'd love for our listeners to get involved, and I'd love for them to have an opportunity to hear about it from you.
We Are Warriors is an educational and personal wellness community (45:10)
- Yeah, so We Are Warriors, it's like a educational slash personal wellness community, so I think communities are the future of social media, or at least I hope so, because then it's like a group of people having a common goal that they can accomplish together, and I think like communities with goals is like a very powerful thing, and that's what I've been seeing. And even being homeschooled, I was in a community of homeschoolers, so it's like very powerful. So We Are Warriors, it's a set of different challenges each month, I like the idea of challenges because it gives us a finish goal, like a finish line, and it's exciting. And so for instance, like last month, and we tackle different subjects as well, that was one of the things, because when I think personal wellness, I think there's like a 365 degree approach, and I do think fitness is a huge thing for girls, just having the motivation, like fitness is like keeping up with my routine and my body has been the reason I am who I am today, and I understand that, but we like, we think of it as vapid, we don't think of it. But like it actually creates, it sets up the day for me. And so creating a community where the girls could do that together was very special. So, but then I wanted to like expand on that. So like in April, we had Nicole Lapin for the finance challenge to talk about like taxes and stuff. So I wanted, I just wanted to take girls through courses that I know will help them, that are actually gonna help them. And it's almost like filling the gaps of the education system, like whether it is talking about, like we'll have a whole month on mental health. We have, right now we're in beauty month, right now, where I have like one of the top skincare women in the world, and she's like here, having live calls with these girls, talking to them and coaching through them, and then for me, I can tackle more of like the spiritual aspect of like, well, why is this manifesting on your cheek? Let's look at that. And like having those deeper conversations where we can really tackle every essence, 'cause I realize it was like, it doesn't matter if you work out every day, 'cause if you hate yourself, it's just, it's almost like there's a huge wall in between you and your whole. And so it has to be both. There, it has, you have to have the manifestation with the physical action. And so I'm just, right now I'm just testing that with different subjects. I wanna have an environmental month where we have like different people come on to talk about things that are going on in the planet, not overwhelming, 'cause not something too overwhelming, 'cause what happened to me, I went deep into the plastic pandemic, and I almost got paralyzed. - Tell us about that. How can you get so involved in something that it actually paralyzes you? - Because it's just that bad. Like if you, I read I think over 10 books in the course of a couple of months about plastic and kind of like what's happening and how we're basically finding it in pregnant lady and their placentas now, because the microplastics and we eat a credit card a week. And like, it's so scary that it almost, just like, I couldn't even be me. I couldn't even be happy, 'cause all I saw was that. I was like, okay, well maybe that's not the approach, because what happens is like you paralyze and then you just wanna forget about it. So I wanna like slowly like ease them in, not so much about the facts, 'cause the facts are really hard to take in. Yes, we'll talk about facts, but it's more of like what can you, what are the little things that we can do? What brand can we bring along that backs this, that can partner it, and then we can all just kind of get better together. Like is the vibe for me is like, let's just get better little by little together. Like it has to be together though, because what I've seen with the girls is like, and what's cool about the community is like they host their own live calls too. Like I'm not like, if a girl for instance, we have one girl who's going to law school and she's like anybody who like wants to learn about like, law and or has conversations, so they'll have a lot, they'll have conversations. So it's almost like, I didn't want the community to feel like they're looking at experts. Yes. The goal is that they find their inner expert and then they can kind of like shine in their own live call. And that's when I've seen the most transformation because I can actually put it to practice. Absolutely. Which like I don't see school does for many people. So that's the transformation that we've been seeing is just one, the connection that these girls have is actually crazy. I'm so honored to be a part of it and like facilitate the space for them to be all best friends. And two, like the goal is to like create physical events and like really, I really think that entertainment and education should go hand in hand. Like it's really, I don't under, I'm like, why do we have like billions of billions of dollars going into entertainment? And yet we can't add like 20% of that into like just put education within the entertainment. Yes. It should be fun. It should be exciting. Like it's like I said in the beginning, like it's what we're here to do is learn and like create, learn, create, learn, create. It's just like this circle. And so it's like, I don't know, finding how to re-ignite their passions is for themselves, like fall in love with themselves and then reunite the passion is really, really powerful to me. And then by helping these girls, like I know that when they are, they become moms, they're gonna understand not to give away their identity because one of the things that I see in moms like so much of the time is they just like, they just become mom. And I'm like, no, you're still this girl before you were a mom and you're still, and I think one of the things that I wish, that I wish for all of this to help is to make sure that these girls continue on with who they are. And then it's like who they are. And then they're all the subcategories, all of the characters that they play go below that. 'Cause I've seen it too much in marriages like the female just loses her identity and then becomes resentful. It's what happened in my family. I've seen it way too many times with the people around me. I'm just like, how can we heal this? And this is actually an ongoing conversation in my head. So it's just like-- - Yeah, no, I'm really glad you brought that up. I'm working on my second book right now and I talk a lot about how in a partnership, in any relationship, the goal is to always help each other, find each other's purpose. - Exactly. - Because if you're not doing that, like when I think about me and my wife, when I met my wife, I was quite clear about what I wanted to do. And she had loads of talents and skills, but didn't quite know what she was gonna do with them. And over the last five years of us being married, she's really coming to her own and she's really growing and flourishing and thriving and it's been beautiful to watch. But I fully agree with you that it's, you can't think the honor, but your purpose is just to do this.
When you get lost in your role and forget your purpose (52:02)
Or your purpose is just to look after the home. Or your purpose even as a, whoever the role is, doesn't matter what gender you are, but the idea of, or your purpose is just to make money for the house. Like that's not a purpose. Like we all have so much more to do. So I love that you brought that up because you get lost in your role. - Yeah, you get lost in your roles. That's like a real thing. And that's what I'm learning from acting as well. I was like, don't get lost in your roles. Like don't do that. - I've heard people do method acting that have actually lost relationships in the real world because of that. And so when I hear that, I'm like, wow. - Exactly. Well, it's a great example of what we do in real life as well. 'Cause I do think like at some point with like a long-term relationship or friendship, whatever it is, it's like you choose to have them come with you. And if you're not choosing that, then the relationship didn't work not because it was like, you didn't bring them along or they didn't, or you didn't see where they were going and wanted to come with them. It is as much as like, we love the butterflies and we love all that. This is a team partnership. - Yes. - Like if you go, we go. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - We go. - And you can't be someone's purpose. - No. - Like don't try and make it like, no, I am your purpose. Like what I do is your purpose and my purpose is the same as yours. - It doesn't work. - It doesn't work like that. Like you can't project your purpose onto another person and expect them to just want to live for that, right? - Exactly. Exactly. - And this is all of these things I've been learning recently, like in the last couple of years, especially with like going through like so many public relationships and having that be, oh God, public relationships are terrible.
The public is creating characters for you in any public relationship (53:38)
Oh my God, after, I was like, I'm good. After my last public relationship, I was like, I'm so good, I'm gonna just be me in my own little world. No one gets no. Because not only are you creating roles in the relationship, but now you have the public creating characters of the people that you are. So it's like you're fighting like, it's like you're having conversations with like four different versions of the person you're dating and you're like, oh my God. - And half of them aren't even real. - I know, I know. - Yeah. - It's like a foggy mirror, you're just like, hello. So that's been really interesting. And then I always feel that relationships are the best reflection as to where you are, right? 'Cause they're just like, I'm just your walking reflection right now. That's why we're in this together, right? So I always get excited when I, 'cause I'm starting to just meet so many amazing people. And I think that's like, what I've been learning as well is just like, there's no villain anymore. It's like we can stay together or we can leave in good faith and good heart. And like, it's just, it's not, you know, in high school, you're just like, they broke my heart. - What? Now it's just like, oh good. Like you did me a service by leaving because you were being disservice to me and you for staying 'cause we didn't feel, so it's like, at the end of the day, it's all perfect. Like what can I, it's all perfect. And then trusting that, like-- - What helps you trust and accept that when most of our minds hold on to the, but it could have been like this, or is it, because I feel that's what it is, right? It's always this battle between imagination and reality. And a lot of us prefer our imagination, but then we have to-- - For me. - Yeah. And then we have to deal with reality. And I, oh, I've read something, actually I wanna read this to you because I think you'll like it. Okay, let me find it, let me find it. I have to read it to you because I don't wanna mess it up. You know, it's, you know when you like try and say something and you mess it up? So this is by Johann Wolfgang and he said, few people have the imagination for reality. - Ooh. - And I read that and it literally, like it really, that's like, there's something, it packs a punch right, I was like, few people have the imagination for reality. And I was thinking, wow, like I think my imagination's good, but if I had a really good imagination, I'd be able to accept and trust my reality. - Well, you're kind of like, I'm a great storyteller and the universe is like, sit down. Sit down, you can tell it later once it's over. You can say it's yours, but it was mine. Like that's like fully, like, whoa, I experience all of that. - I love that. - You know, it's like, sit down. Like you write it while I create. Like, you know what I mean? Like you remember it, you tell the story. It's ours, you know, but it's mine. - Yeah, you write, I'll let it. - Yeah, and so like that's kind of the relationship that I always see and per your question earlier, imagination and reality, it's, I always at this point with heartbreaks, I don't see it as heartbreak anymore. I see it as growing pains.
Perspectives On Struggles And Pain
Seeing heartbreaks as growing pains (56:44)
And then sometimes even worse, 'cause you're just like, I was good. I was good with just this. Like I didn't, I didn't, I don't wanna grow. Like I'm good, like I'm tired. I just wanna like, modulate and chill. Like no one I evolve anymore, even though I like just got here in retrospect, but like it's still, and so if I look at it as growing pains and then, you know, as, 'cause we're all artists, we're all artists. And so what I'll do now, and it's actually so intoxicating is I'll create, I'll write poetry, I'll write music based off of the experience. I mean, we know all of the biggest artists in the world are like, let me tell you about my heartbreak. And then they blow up because of that. And I'm just like, that's in all of us. And so every single time that I have a new experience of heartbreak or just not working out or whatever it is, I'm like, there is, there is gold in this pain. There's gold in this pain and I cannot wait to get it out. I'm just like, whoa. So I get this weird, like I get heartbroken, then I get really excited. So it goes back and forth. It's almost, and I always, I always tell people, I'm like, when someone leaves your life, it's okay to feel like you're grieving a death because the character that they played in your life is not there anymore. And so you are grieving someone that's no longer there. Like you are, like when I get broken up with someone I truly love and I'm crying and I'm in that space, it is very similar pain to when I lost my mom. And so like I always wish, any time like my girlfriend's and she's like crying and sobbing, I'm just like, this shit is valid. Don't worry, like feel it. Like feel it because you lost a character that you thought was in this season, but it's not. And like you thought he was gonna be your season finale. He's not, but it's all good. There's season 60, there's season 40, like you know, there's so many seasons in your life. So it's just coming back to, oh, so if he wasn't meant to be here, then what I attracted was more parts of myself. I became more me because he came into my life and that is the biggest blessing I could have ever asked for. Like I am a product of everyone that I've dated and I've found, I've fallen in love with them. And then those parts that I fall in love with, I've like, I took them for myself. And so I almost, I'm getting to the point now where I don't grieve it anymore because I'm like, well, the person that I was in love with, I became. And so that's so interesting how they never-- - Even if that person wasn't them. - No. - The part that you thought you fell in love with. - Like how powerful it is. Like relationships always fascinate me because I've always been a relationship girl and seeing how much people grow after relationships. It's like, I mean, you guys have ever seen like, don't break girls' hearts. You know what I mean? Like it happened, I just watched my sister do this and I'm just like, woo! She's gonna be so good after this. Like I'm so excited. Like I get so excited for her. 'Cause like, I just like, I love it. I'm afraid like, girls get hotter. Like it's just like, it's such a vibe. I get so excited 'cause we need, it's almost like the fire. It's like, it breaks your heart open so you can light fire and I'm just like, yes, like let's go. So it sucks, it always sucks. But once again, like back to that same belief that I had like, the more he pulls you back, it's like a slingshot. He's like, want you for it. So I just, at the beginning of 2020, I was just like, oh, this is painful. This is painful. I wonder what's gonna happen. And now it's like, I can honestly say I've helped more people than I ever would have imagined. And I'm also like playing with this belief and like, I think all companies show it is like, can we just like stop this idea that like, a company or a brand living forever is success? Because it's just, it's not, like it's not sustainable, things evolve. So I always tell myself, I'm like, whether this company stays, whether it does, that's not the point, that was never the point.
None of our struggles won’t last forever (01:00:48)
The point is, is I've helped, I would say over now like 10,000 girls, truly, like actually helped them like speaking to them, talking to them one on one. And that I will carry with me, they will carry with them like, that's good enough. So it's like, it's almost like, this is good enough. It's okay, it doesn't have to last forever. None of these things have to last forever. I feel like we're so in companies in general, even though this is a community, but like companies, it's like, we're so thirsty to just be the monopoly. And I'm like, no. - Yeah. - What is this world gonna look like if we're all trying to be monopolies, we can't. - Yeah. - Like, are you good? Are you safe? You have a roof over your head and you can host people like, you're good. You're good. Like, let's, now how can we return the fate and do more? And it's like, so that's kind of where I'm at with We're Warriors is like, it will continue and it's gonna be amazing. But the impact is already there. I'm so honored to like, do have that impact on them. You know? It's just so real. - No, I'm so glad that you're owning that. And accepting that because I couldn't agree with you more. I think we're fascinated with longevity and lasting till the end. And even in relationships, you stretch it out far longer than it needs to be just because we think end means failure. - Failure, exactly. - And you're so spot on that the impact, the end is insignificant really. It's all about what's happening right now in this place right today. - Yeah, I'm like, it's right here, fam. - Yeah, if you'll make an impact, yeah, if you're making an impact on all of these women today and they're impacting each other and you're empowering them to also become their own experts and discover their skills, I mean, that's beautiful. Yeah. - Exactly. - And I'm so glad that you made that point because I think our obsession with making something last, is everything, yeah, it's unhealthy, it's unhealthy. - Yeah, it's unhealthy. - And you're only 24, right? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah, which is amazing. - Yeah, yeah. - Like that's the insane part here. I feel like I'm speaking to the oldest soul in the world and then I have to remind myself and that's such a wonderful thing because you're carrying your mother's energy in such a special way. - It's her. - Yeah. - No, it comes through. - Yeah. - It's like, it's so clear that, you know, which is-- - And it's cool too 'cause like for anyone who's lost someone, y'all have a speed dial up there. Like you guys can just like, I literally am like mom and she's right there. And so I'm like, you have the strongest connection to the other side or whatever you believe. It's really, truly whatever you believe 'cause I'm pretty sure all this is made up. I mean, we're just like, I'm sitting on an idea right now which trips me out sometimes. I don't know, like it's weird. But it's like, we have such a deep connection to the other side because we have that person on the other side.
Your greatest connection to the other side are the people you lost (01:03:39)
And so I utilize that as much as I can and whenever I forget, I just like, I'm like, how can I remember? How can I remember? I think that's where I am right now. I just, I will, it's always the environment too. So like, I'll just incense, I'll make lights, candles and I'll just sit down and I'll remember. Like whether that's just sitting in silence, it's helping me remember, but, or just writing until something else comes out. That's what, or talking to a friend about it. Like I think I'm at, and I think we're all at that point where it's not so much you're learning something new. It's almost you're just remembering what was already there on top of everything else per what my sister said about the onions and just unraveling it. And so it's constantly coming back to that. But like, I still, you know, I still suffer. Like we all suffer. Like it's all good. It's all good. It's all good. - Definitely. - But through that, you know, you talked about this earlier and I think you've experienced this. Like you've, and I love what you said because we were connecting on this beforehand. And I sometimes felt the same way because I thought I was going to be a monk. And that's literally what I built up. So before that, I had so many passions but my parenting was ignore the passion, do the safe thing. And so my passions were music. My passions were spoken word and my passion was philosophy. - Are you still right, spoken word? - I do, I do, yeah. It's such a passion for me. And I feel like a lot of my videos and a lot of my content is still word play and has so much, I still use this spoken word in a different way today. And so that's so much a part of my life but it was like do the safe thing. And so I was studying business and I thought I'd be an investment banker or a consultant or whatever, any of that stuff. And then I became a monk, that became my dream. - And mom, dad. - Yeah, literally like from all of that to that. But even letting go of that, I would say I'm most myself in what I do today. And being a monk was part of that but it's not all of me. And being in media, which is what I am now, is not all of me, it's a part of me. And then being in the world of business was a part of me. It's not all of me. And I think you are so right that we limit ourselves. We feel society limiting us and we feel we have to choose to be one thing. And I think that the fact that you're 24 years old and you've allowed yourself to continue to do this and you still do today, I think that's so wonderful because I think a lot of people stay stuck until again, wanting to make something last. - Yeah, wanting to make something last. And like every single thing, and I will say this with absolute certainty, like every single thing that any of you guys have been doing that you feel like was the thing and then it's not, it is serving what your thing is.
The things that weren’t meant to be is serving what’s meant to be (01:06:15)
Like ballet, I spent literally 20, almost 20 years, every day, four or five, six hours a day, I would be on point and my feet still hurt, you know. Like it's just like, but because of that, it's translated into storytelling. I know how to use my body, my work ethic is insane. I understand, I know how to take direction. There is, I know how to feel when I move. Like it is literally service me and everything I've done. And so it's just, it's almost just like being okay with letting it go, but then you don't actually let it go. It's always there. That's the thing. It's like, oh, he's there serving you. And so that's how I feel with pretty much everything I do. My mom said, another thing my mom said is like, she goes, just be passionately curious because put so much pressure on us. So my mom would always just be like, just be curious. Like just like follow your curiosities. And if it doesn't lead you anywhere, just be like, oh, that was interesting. And like go over here. And so that's what I do. And like given I do, I still of course have big dreams, but like I let my curiosity take me. Like, and I don't, the big dream is not the goal. It's like the little moments that get up to it. Right? So like when I'm having a director meeting and I'm like talking to them about a role or whatever it is, it's like my intention in that call is to make the director feel good, not to get the part. So just like having those little indirect of like curiosity. Wow, that's such a huge thing. You just drop. Yeah. That's a huge thing. It's who you are. It's who all of us are. It's like if you can stop going, well, this is my goal to like my intention. I think intentions are actually the most underrated and most powerful things I've ever, like I still learn about how, we have an intention 24/7 with everything, every single thing we do. We just like sometimes we're aware of it, sometimes we're not.
An intention on something before you do it is powerful (01:08:09)
And so when you could put an intention, an intention on something before you do it, it's crazy how powerful it is. So it's like, I always make sure because at the end of the day, and this is kind of what we're all looking for, I think even more so than the diploma than the thing and the degree is someone that we connect to, someone that we feel close to, someone that we almost feel like we've already met before. Like that essence comes from the intention of making that person feel connected. Not from, I hope I'm right for this, I'm hoping this. And so like I, whenever I hire from my company, that's my intention. I was like, I don't really, I don't care where you went to college. Like, why would I care? Why would I care? Like I care about who you are. Like what's your intention? Like how are you gonna be fun to work with? Like are we gonna, 'cause ideally, I want you to be in this for the long run. And so do I wanna be talking to you for the next five to 10 years? Like what does that look like? And so having that perspective on when it comes to jobs, when it comes to meetings, anything, ever, is like the human connection should go first, no matter what. No matter how bad you want it, like the human connection is first. That's actually been the best like magic trick my mom taught me. 'Cause it's like it always, it always provides what I need and then what the other person needs. So for instance, I was like, very excited for this role that I almost got a couple weeks ago, I was very excited, I won't say any names. And he was so sweet and we were talking, we were having such a good time and I really understood the character and it was really great. But then, you know, because I don't, I'm not very experienced in the space, he was like, we're gonna choose someone else. And I was like, that's completely fine. But then I was sitting in meditation and I had this urge to write him an email. And I didn't know why because my goal wasn't necessarily to get the part, I just almost felt like the connection of me and him wasn't finished. And so I just sent him a thank you. And I was like, thank you so much for speaking, giving me your time, like learning about me because who I am matters because you need to get to know if I fit the care. Like all of these things. And because of that, it almost solidified our relationship. And that, but that wasn't my intention. My intention was just like, this isn't over, I don't know why and I'm just gonna sit down and see. So like listening to almost like letting it overpower whether or not they're, what happened, it's like, if you don't feel like it's finished, like go in there with the intention that you wanna just solidify the mirror that you guys are reflecting towards each other as opposed to like the opportunity that's kind of on the sidelines. So that's been a huge tool. Huge, it's like actually like the, probably the reason I'm here to me on it. So, I'm out tool. - Shout out tool did you say? I love that. Today I've discovered how funny you are, which is great, which is really awesome, which is really awesome. So I love that we're gonna have so many means made out of this interview for you. - Oh no, that's great. - There's gonna be so many great ones. - Oh no. - Alexis, is this something that I haven't asked you about that's like on your mind, you know, like I have to share this. I wanna say this before we go into the final five, but I wanna know if there's anything that you're feeling intuitively as you are. - Just thank you so much. Like actually, thank you so much. I'm gonna do it here, just like saying it, but thank you. I feel like, I don't know, it was weird. Like once I finally solidified this podcast with you, there's something like clicked inside of me. And I was like, like I am becoming the person I wanna be. And like I, and so just like thank you for showing that to me. 'Cause it really, I'm not, yeah, I just thank you. I have no, I just like words don't, they're not it right now, so, but thank you. Yeah, so just that's it, that's all I have to say. - I love that, I love that means the world to me. And I'm hoping that that synergy and synchronicity continues and this is the beginning of a great friendship. So that's my hope. I really believe that honestly, the podcast for me has either been a place where I had a lot of relationships offline that people didn't know the types of conversations we were having. And so the podcast was a great way of me sharing, hey, I'm really good friends with the person. This is what we talk about and I want everyone to hear it. And then it's also been the opposite where it's been like, here's someone I'm really interested to get to know. And I wanted to start a friendship. - And then it's perfect. - Yeah, and so the podcast for me has been so much more than, and it's what you're saying about a community, more than a company or a brand. Like the podcast for me is not a show. Like that's not the point of it. Like it's a way I can get to know humans that I'm interested in or I find interesting and help people learn about them. So actually I should be thanking you because I think sitting down with you today has just completely blown my mind and opened up my mind to just so many possibilities as to how someone who's navigated so many stressful situations. And I think the closer you get to it, the more you realize how hard it is. So when I was a young kid and I grew up in London, I knew no one in the entertainment industry. I was not in LA or Hollywood. Everyone in my area was not going off to work in anything to do with the world I'm in now. And because of that, you look at people and you go, oh, life must be easy for you. You guys have money, you guys have fame, you guys are attractive, why are you complaining? And as I've got closer to the industry, closer to the people that I coach, that I work with, clients of mine, I've only just had more compassion for everyone. Both the people that are like me sitting back there judging and then both the people are in this situation because that's really less, we're all just feeling some type of pain. And the more we can rise to that point without judgment, the better it's gonna be for us because-- - We can evolve together. - Yeah, if we expect anyone who's successful to be always happy, then what we're saying is when I become successful, I have to always be happy. And that pressure is just-- - Right back on us, it's interesting that that works.
Pain is pain, its valid when it happens (01:14:16)
And it's almost like, yeah, anything that we direct outwards is an exact manifestation of what's gonna happen inside of us. And so we have to be so careful with our words. Like, I don't, why do you think they call it spelling? Spells, like I'm like-- - Wow, that's good. I've not heard that before, I like that, that's good. - The words are, like I am, oh my God. When I hear girls say like I am ugly or I am, I'm just like, no, no, like you can, no. I refuse to let you say that about yourself 'cause you would never say that about your daughter, you would never say that about your friend. And so it truly is like having these honest conversations with anyone at any level has been eye-opening to me. And that's one of the reasons why I've always left the podcast so much 'cause I got to actually just see the person and not the characters that I see them play in life. So that's really inspiring. And then also knowing that pain happens on any level, like pain is pain, you know? Like me losing someone from a breakup is just as painful as me losing my mom to death. And I was like, that was weird, that was weird. I was like-- - And you almost feel guilty or like you feel like, can I feel that? Do I allow myself to-- - So it's like, yeah, validating on any level because that's actually what connects us as well. And I almost feel like until we, the goal right now is to connect at every level of being human. And then from there, I mean, I'm pretty sure like an evolution would happen, which would be really cool. That'd be really cool, I'd be like, whoa. Can you imagine if we had everyone at the same time be like, love? - Yeah, can you imagine? - That would be crazy. I've heard, I'm sure you've heard of those stories where they have monks praying at the same, all at the same time, like 3,000 monks or whatever. And like the crime rights goes down the city. I've definitely heard, I've seen studies on that before. - Yeah, same. - But just those kinds of scenarios would be like, I think that's what my work would ideally, my like, heart work, I guess, is what it's there for, is to like have just more moments of like, just people being in absolute love. And even when I can facilitate, like, we were talking about hosting and how like, it's like, why have the big house if you're not putting everyone in it, like hosting it, like, why do I have a book? I'm not gonna do anything on it. Like, I'm gonna have all my friends like there and like, host people and like, why do I have more than one bedroom? So I can let my friends be there. And like, just hosting and having that environment where like, we come together and bring like, real connection, it is, so it's helping the planet so much more than we know. - I've got two more questions for you before we go into the final five, because I've got just so many things I could talk to you about. The first question I went to ask you was around, your passion for acting now. So, you know, what right now is making you so passionately curious about acting, what is it about roles, what is it about your development as an artist that connects you so much to acting?
Acting Versatility And Approach To Roles
Proving how many characters you can be when acting (01:17:15)
- It's almost like proving to myself how many different people, or identities I can be. I think it's like, we almost, I feel, even though I seem outgoing, I'm actually quite terrified all the time. And I would say I'm like an ambiver, like an in-between. But when it comes to acting, I don't have a choice. Like I have to show up as this person, if I'm nervous, like it doesn't matter. And like once I'm not thinking about lines, once I'm like in that state where I just like haven't memorized through the heart and I can just be there, it's similar to flow state. I'm sure you've written a thread, I love flow state, oh. - Yeah, I love flow state. - Flow state is the goal for everything always. So it puts me in flow state, basically. I don't, there's no time. I don't remember, I'm not thinking about myself. I'm not thinking about my body. It's just, I'm just here. And like similar to the way, like when you surf, like you're on a wave, it's like, it's those like 30 seconds of just like, I blacked out. I wasn't even there. - No, and you're saying that you can actually surf. So you've actually had that experience. Like most people use that analogy, but we've never surfed. But you actually surf. - Anything, yeah, yeah. Just like any, like. - But you can actually surf. - Yeah, I can surf decently. Not good enough to the point where I'm like, that guy in the surf being like, "Where'd you catch my wee, bro?" - I'm like, but just those moments. Like I think I'm right now, I'm just searching for those moments in my life. Like I'm just like, when am I gonna forget time here? Am I gonna forget time here? And so acting is just one of those things that I've seen is such a powerful, and also it's best because I get to lose track of time with another person. And I feel like connection is so strong for me. And so it's like, I remember, oh my God, this was such a cool moment. On my first set, it was an older actor. He's been around for a long time. I'm sure you know him. I don't remember his name, but he was very, very kind. And we had a scene together where he was kind of just like, like getting in my face about something. Basically saying that I wasn't worthy or, but I don't know. And I was just like, I got this, I got this scene. Don't worry guys. And he was like getting in my face. And I just remember a moment where like, we like lost, I just, it was, I just wasn't there and he wasn't there and it was just a pure moment. And I wasn't acting and I was actually feeling everything. And then afterwards, he comes to me and he looked at me at at crafties, the little snack area. He was like, you get it. He was like, you get it, don't you? I was like, yeah. And he was like, keep doing it kid. Like keep doing it. It's amazing. - Oh, that's awesome. - And he was like, you get it. And he was like, there, he almost, it was almost as if he like said, like, you're closer to source in those moments. Like, and so he looked at me like, you get it. And I just flipped out after, 'cause I was eating banana being like, I get it. I get it, I get it. I get it. And so after that, I was like, okay, this is like what I meant to do now for now, I guess. And like, we'll see where that goes. But yeah, I just once again, like the intention, the paths change, but the intention stays the same. So I think that's what keeps me. - Again, love that. I just love that. - Yeah. - I couldn't agree more. - Yeah. - I think that's been the challenge for so many people. We try and keep our path the same and then-- - But we don't know our attention. - Yeah, we don't know our attention. Yeah, but keeping your intention the same and the path changing, oh, I can so relate to that. - So back to those notes. - Yeah. - Like any intentions that you guys have, like any of it, just write it down. So at least you just know. - Yeah. - You just know, 'cause I forget my intentions all the time. - Of course, yeah. You have to repeat them daily. I repeat them daily in my prayer, in my affirmation. At the beginning and end of the day, I have to. - Exactly, exactly. And then from there, it almost like, and this is maybe a weird belief, but I've been seeing this a lot in my life. All the best things in my life I didn't work for. And I keep seeing that as a pattern. I'm like, maybe God doesn't want us to struggle. Like the way, like it's, 'cause everything that I've struggled for wasn't meant for me. So that's been really interesting of almost being like, you take the reins. Like you take the reins, all create the intention, but you create the story and like I'll trust the path. And like whatever that is, like, let's go. Like, let's make it fun, right? 'Cause like I do feel like the more you can give to God, like if he gives you like a ball, a red ball, for instance, like, like if you have fun and you're playing with it, he's gonna be like, oh, he's playing with it.
Show the universe you’re having fun with what’s handed to you (01:21:44)
I'll give her something else. Like I'll, and then just like, it's almost like entertainment. Like show him or show the universe that like, you're so stoked of what it gave you that it wants to give you more. Like you almost, you know, and like you have, I have a puppy, her name's Angel. And whenever I give her a treat, she's so stoked that I have her a treat that I'm like, I gotta give you another one. And so like, I almost feel like that's, and then when I walk my dog and she like, is not least train yet, so she'll just be like, like choking herself out, trying to like go everywhere. And I'm just like, is this what I look like? Is this what I look like? Oh no, I learned so much from dogs. Also, when a dog, my dog is obsessed with a ball, one ball in particular, it's gross. I can't believe she still has it. I'm just like, oh my God. So obsessed with this ball. And I'm like, that is amazing. And literally her only goal with this ball is to give it back to me so that I can throw it so she can catch it so I can give it back to her. There's no point to this whatsoever. And so it showed me, I was like, do it just for the act. Like don't do it for like the idea, the goal or the dream. Just do it. And so like whenever I play ball with her, I practice that. I'm like, I'm acting just 'cause it's fun 'cause I just do it. Or I'm creating this company 'cause it's fun. And this is just what I do. Like I just, it's just fun. And like, 'cause every single time I've gotten caught up in like the huge image of things is like when I've lost sight of my heart's path. And I'm just like, ah. - Yeah. - So. But the greatness has been within that path, like for sure. But it's never like the same path as you would see 'cause it's literally just you playing with a ball and you're just like, what's the point? God. And he's like, just wait, like just keep doing it for fun. - Yeah. - So like- - Keep doing it for fun. - Keep doing it for fun. And so I almost, and like now that I'm 24, I'm in this adult life and I'm just like, do I need to get serious now? - Don't, don't do it. - I don't want to. - It's a trap. - It's a trap. - It's so, but it's so strong. I feel it heavy on me now. Like when you just schedule, I need to wake up with this time. And God's like, no, you're not lazy if you sleep in. That's a belief. Let's get rid of that. Like, no, you're not like, did you, no. It's just literally, I am now taking off layers that I just got. I'm like, whoa, what is this? What is, now that I'm coming into my mid 20s, I'm just like, is this not supposed to be fun anymore? Because like, that's what I've heard. And that's what I like, see a lot of times. But I just refuse because it's so inspiring to meet. I have a few friends that are like, what would they like in their 50s or 16s and they're like children. - Having the best time in their life, yes. - So having a healthier life and everything works out for them. Everything works out for them. And I'm just like, that is, if I'm gonna tell a story, I'd rather it be like that. - Yeah. I've added play back into my life so much. Like, play is like one of my number one values. - It's like our dog. - In life, yeah. - You're going to the park. - Yes. - Not for the dog for you, but you're going to the park. - Yeah, I just want more play in my life. - How? - There was a beautiful quote by Richard Branson where he said that, you know, you don't stop playing because you get old. You get old because you stop playing. And I love that because it's been so big for me. I'm at a place in my life where I'm like, I play is a huge value and it sounds insane. And people don't get it. I just got back from Miami. I was there for two weeks. And we were on a really busy schedule. We were working from like 8 a.m. to 9 p.m. every single day. But at 9 p.m. every day, we'd go and play paddle tennis from 9 to 11. - Yes. - And I felt like a kid every night where I was just waiting to be out on the paddle court. And I was just like, have you ever played paddle tennis? Okay, it's amazing. I'm the biggest advocate of this sport. I've introduced many. But play is just such a big value for me now. And even when I'm with friends, I'm like, what can we do that's playful? - That's playful. - I've been doing crazy things with friends like archery and like painting lessons and whatever it is, because I just wanna play. - You just wanna play and it's where we create new passions. Play is where we create new passions. So I also born them. I always am like, born them is so valuable, especially now with our phones. And like all of this instant gratification and we've heard a million times and it's all known now. But like for real though, like I can't even drive without being like, don't text and drive, but look at all these billboards. You know, it's weird. I'm just like, they're telling it and it's just all of this is trying. Everything is trying to get your intention. - Everything is trying to get your attention like to the T. - And so I'm like, okay, how do I work against this? And it's only gonna get probably more intense, I would assume so. So that's like literally I'll say it again. That's why I got a dog. That's like fully why I got a dog. 'Cause I was like, I need something. I'm gonna get bad news on the phone. I'm like, okay, bye. And then the dog's just like, you know, okay, here.
Every Disney movie always has a comical side character (01:26:33)
So you know how like in any like Disney, like movie, like Pixar, whatever, there's always a sidekick. - Yes. - Tangled the chameleon. Like there's a bunny in the abominable soul man. There is always like this really funny comical relief. - Oh, love in frozen. - A lot. - Yeah. - Spirit animal. - Yeah. - I was like, I need, I want a sidekick. Like I want that idiot that's just like running and hitting a wall while I'm trying to like do business. Like I can, we need that. Like we need that. - That's so cool. - Yeah. So like movies are so powerful in the way that they like kind of, they give us characters to like replicate. And so I've almost like whenever I watch a movie, I'm just like, I like that character. Like that character is really cool. Like one of the shows that I actually like loved growing up with is Entourage. - Yeah. Okay. I've got a funny story to tell you about Entourage. So I was a monk when Entourage was famous. I never watched it. So I didn't know what it was. So my wife just made me watch Entourage. So we literally just finished it. It's one of the best shows ever. - It's so good. - It's amazing. - So there's vibes. - I would watch it again. I loved it. I literally just watched it this year. - Exactly. So you have like the characters around you that are just like, they're so needed. And you don't know why, but they're so needed. Like they're so important to the story. And that's how I look at all of my friends. I'm like, you guys are so like creating your show. Like is like in a healthy way, of course, because, but it's taught me a lot. Like as much as Hollywood is very toxic. And dangerous in ways. But it's also a great way to get to understand how you want your life show to go. Like it's just like, I can find parts of myself in different like, have you watched Dave yet? - No. - Oh no, no, I have what's the first season, not the second. - Gata, I need to get it in my life. Like he's so funny. I was just like, he's just like, he's there, always making jokes, always there, always holding it together, always holding strong. Like you need that part. And sometimes it's you, that's that person. But I always, that really helps me just like understand the thing I'm doing. So, but the sidekick thing is like, actually you guys, like it really helps. Like I can't tell you how many times are I'm like so upset. And then Angel like rolls over, it falls off the bed. Like just the funniest, the edges are amazing. - I love it. All right, Alexis, I'm gonna take you through our final five.
Final Remarks And Future Plans
Alexis on the Final Five (01:28:47)
- Okay. - These are the fast fives. You have to answer them in one word to one sentence maximum. That's all you can say. - Okay. - So you can do. - You can read these. - You can, no, no, no, no, you didn't read them. Yeah, no, no, no, you shouldn't. You shouldn't read them. - Okay. - Okay. So the first, and I changed them on the day anyway. So it doesn't matter if you do read them because I just ask what I wanna ask. - Okay, let's go. - Okay, so question number one is, what is the best advice you've ever received? - I would just have to bring it back to what my mom said about being curious instead of passionate. It takes the edge off of so many. - Great. - It's so much pressure. - Yeah. - It's just like, just be curious. Then stay teachable. Be curious and stay teachable. - Awesome, great answer. What's the worst advice you've ever received? - Like you can only, I would say like you can only be one thing in a life is like, I've just been learned, I've just been taught so much that like you're an accountant or you're a lawyer or you're, and now we're living in a world where it's like, you can be all of those things. You can be all of those things. So I just saying like, oh, you can only be one thing in life is probably the most wrong thing anyone's ever said to me, for sure. - That's a great answer. Great answer. All right, third question. In one sentence, explain what is your current purpose or intention? - Mm, I think my intention currently would be, I almost wanna say in this, and it changed honestly this week is to just share more of myself by, by learning about myself publicly. I would, and it's usually, 'cause a couple months ago my intention was like to help evolve consciousness in whatever way, but now I really feel like it's my, and I hope this isn't taken the wrong way, but I'm just really excited to share myself. Like I've worked so hard to be who I am, and I'm not afraid nor scared to say that I love myself, and I'm really honored to be who I am, and I'm gonna continue to work and continue to be better, but sharing more of myself without the fear of rejection would be my intention. And so in all aspects of vulnerability, yeah. - That's a beautiful answer, thank you. I love that, yeah, that's awesome. All right, question number four is, what's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months since launching We Are Warriors? - Oh. - For yourself. - Oh yeah, for myself, I mean for myself I would say you are what you've always wanted to be. That's really weird when you like, as soon as you decide you wanna be something, you already are that. It's now it's just about approving to yourself that you already are, but you already are, like you already manifested it, and for like the girls, I would say, I've learned a lot about teaching and how that works, 'cause I've always been curious of like, how do we teach kids, and how do we keep it to stick, or keep it sticking when they learn it, and like that, the best way to teach is to be the example, and we've heard that so many times, but I've had to personally step up as a mentor and show that it's not about me listening to a story and being like, this is what you did wrong, this is how you should evolve, it's like me being like, hey guys, so this is usually how all the live calls are. Hey guys, so today, this happened to me this week. Let's talk about this subject of letting go, but knowing when to let go. And then ironically, every single girl in the live was like, I was feeling this way too this weekend, so there is this like innate connection of like, if you can grow from each lesson that happens, day or the day up, and then just like, be present with the experience, and then show education in that way, that's when you can help people evolve the quickest, I believe, I think I'm just like at a speed thing, like let's evolve like quick, so you have to be it. - I love it, awesome, fifth and final question. - Okay, if you could create one law in the world that everyone had to follow, what would it be? - You have to go outside, at least an hour a day, I think would be. 'Cause that's what I'm doing. - In nature, yeah. - In nature, barefoot, preferably. One, just acknowledge it, yeah. To acknowledge it, and also to like, grow a love for it, to like care, to see it, and it's also for your health. I mean, we get like, we're like, oh, why is our health decline? I'm like, when we're eating fake food, we're watching fake things, where we don't have the best air anymore, because of even plastic itself, like there's a lot of things that we have to combat now, our water is not that good. Like there's so many things that we find invisible, but it's like always there. And so making the most of it, even if it's, go sit on a rock, talk to an aunt, like I've done very weird things when it comes to nature, but like it's very like. - What's the weirdest thing you've ever done? I'm asking you this next question, I'm breaking all my rules. - What's the weirdest thing I've ever done? - Talk into an aunt. - Well, one time I like, we talked to a tree for like an hour, so that was weird. That was like, I was very outside of my comfort zone. Do you ever do it when you're like doing something so weird, you get goosebumps, you're like this stop. Like, but you feel like it's activating something. Like whenever I get goosebumps, I'm like, something's happening. - Yeah. - And so I just, I pretended the tree was like, like mother nature, I mean, I guess it is, I didn't pretend, but I pretended it was like, you poke a harness with the tree. Like that was like kind of what I was trying to go for. And I just like talked to it for, I would say about an hour and it was the most like beautiful thing. It was also really cheesy and just good, but it was, yeah, just having a conversation with nature herself is really cool. - It's beautiful. - Everyone, Alexis, Ren, that's your final five done. Everyone, if you wanna go and join the, we are warriors community. We're gonna have the link in all of the descriptions, wherever you're watching this, listen to this, please, please, please, go and join the community. Please tag me and Alexis on Instagram, on Twitter, any platform that you're on to tell us what you learned from this. I love seeing, and we've been talking about being teachable and being curious. I'd love to know, we'd love to know what you learned, what you're curious about, what you're going to practice, what you're going to try out because of this episode, Alexis. It has been an absolute joy to sit down with you. Like this is, I was already looking forward to sitting down with you. I have to honestly say to you, and I'm saying this on air and online because I want people to know, this has exceeded all of my expectations and I was already so excited about this. So I just wanna thank you for sharing from your heart, sharing vulnerably and with this comedic side that I'd never seen before. So I loved all of it and I really encourage all of you to, you know, just follow Alexis and see what's going on because I'm excited for you. I'm so excited for you. And I am so looking forward to being a part of the journey and admiring. - I know 'cause I'm here with my girlfriend. - Yes, exactly. And cheering. So I'm looking forward to that. But thank you so much. - Thank you, Jay. - Appreciate it. She's talking about forgetting time. We've been talking for two hours. - Whoa, that's cool. See what I mean? - Yeah, and I love that. I just wanna leave that with everyone. That thing that Alexis said blew my mind, like it was really powerful. So she said something about, once again, there were two things now that I was saying there was one thing, there were actually lots of things. There were lots of things, but there were two things. There is golden pain that really stuck with me. You said that there was golden pain. And the second one was that, being passionate or being curious about something is when you forget time. - Mm-hmm. - And that's what we just did. I literally looked down and I'm like, you've been here for two, we started recording about one hour, 15 minutes, probably one hour, 45. And yeah, we've been talking for two hours. So I just wanna say that. So thank you. - If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book, Think Like A Monk, from ThinkLikeAMonkBook.com. Check below in the description to make sure you order today.