If You Feel LAZY, LOST & UNMOTIVATED, Watch This To CHANGE EVERYTHING In 2023 | Jim Kwik | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "If You Feel LAZY, LOST & UNMOTIVATED, Watch This To CHANGE EVERYTHING In 2023 | Jim Kwik".


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Intro (00:00)

Maybe you're not burnt out because you're doing too much. Maybe you feel burnt out because you're doing too little. Yeah. The things that make you feel alive. The other things that really light you up. The best-selling author and host. The number one health and wellness podcast. Come on purpose with Jay Shetty. Hey everyone. Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every single one of you that come back every week to listen, learn and grow. Now, I know that you're here because you want to be happy. You want to be healthy and you want to heal. I think that's why I'm here too. When I sit down with the guest, that's what I'm hoping to do. I'm hoping to find moments of happiness, moments of health advice and moments of healing. But one of the things I've been discovering lately that I want to let you in on is when I'm doing these interviews, some of the guests that I'm speaking to have phenomenal journeys and stories. But some of them also I get the opportunity to co-create with. I want to like discover new ideas while we're in the podcast. I want to find new insights that we never even considered before. I want to take a moment to really see if we can let down our God, let go of what we know and maybe go into the unknown in a conversation. And today's guest is someone who's going to allow us to do just that. He is the foremost brain coach. He's an incredible author and an amazing podcast. So my dear friend, Jim Quick, the author of Limitless, if you don't have this book, it is a phenomenal read. I highly recommend it. And the first time Jim came on the podcast, the book wasn't out yet. So I couldn't tell you about it, but I really hope that you will check it out. Jim, welcome back to On Purpose. It's so great to have you here when we first did this. And I want everyone to know this. When we first launched the podcast, you were, I think you were one of the guests within our first six months. You were in my apartment where we used to shoot. And it was so kind and gracious of you to come on. We were just starting out. We were just figuring out what On Purpose was and you supported us. And it means the world to me. So I'll never forget that. But I love, we were chatting offline before, which I loved. And we were talking about how we wanted this conversation to be special. I mean, that's what you asked me. How do I make this conversation special? How do we make it different? And that's where this idea came from is when we're sitting with someone, it's like, how can we let go back and forth and, you know, spark something new? But you asked me something and that's where I kind of want to start because it's kind of hopefully going to lead us down a random path, which I love.

Discussing The Concept Of Limitations

Is this limitation real or not? (02:17)

I, and I'll tell you the story. So I called up someone the other day. And it's someone in my world. And I said to them, I have this idea. And I really want to do this. I think it would be amazing. And the first thing they said to me was, Jay, those things don't usually happen. Right? That's not really possible. Like that's, that's not like the most probable likely thing that we can make happen for you. Now, when I hear those kinds of things and we're talking about limit less and limitations, when I hear a limitation, like that, my mind goes to the fact that it's never been done is why I want to do it. Like that's what attracted to me in the first place. If it was already done, then why would I want to do it again? And so I wanted to start there with you and go, how do we know if a limitation is real or not? Like, how do you know? Because we all have limitations. I have, I love this conversation. I think the majority of limits are learned and I can give you stories and anecdotes around that and some, some research. I think my purpose in life, because I was labeled limited in a way. We talked about this when I was on your show earlier about having my traumatic brain injury and being labeled the boy with the broken brain and my learning difficulties. I want to offer real hope and real help to those who are told they were Harvard limited in some way. You know, and I really don't believe that the sky's a limit. I believe our minds are the limit. There are all kinds of examples every day that when we change our mindset, some kind of form of our motivation or the methods we're using that we could do things that we could redraw the borders and boundaries of what's possible. Yeah. And then you would simplify that. You would body this idea of becoming more limitless. Well, I think it was for me too. And thank you for saying that. But I think it was the same thing for me where I had also subscribed to the limits I thought society placed on me. And when you start to break one limit and you see this like light shining through a crack and you're like, oh, like this limit can actually be broken. You then start thinking, well, how many limits can we break? Right? Like, that's where I'm at right now, but I wasn't always like that. And I think it's important to talk about that there was a time in my life where I was living in the rules within the barriers. And now I'm at a place in my life where I'm like, well, which barriers can we push? And that journey for me has been an exciting one and a fun one. Tell me now, like, what do you think is the difference between open-mindedness, like believing in the limitless versus delusion? Because there's also a fine line on that side as well.

Open mindedness vs. delusion (05:02)

Like, is there a line of how have you thought about that? And even if we don't have an answer, I want to figure that out with you. Yeah. Let's do it. Yeah. I think behind the beginning kind of results in our life, we need to do a behavior, a new behavior or a new set of behaviors. I think in order to be able to execute that behavior, we need a mindset or a belief that allows that to be possible. The one that's very famous, you know, Roger Panister in the 1950s, who broke the four-minute mile. And what happened after that, right? Other people started breaking in and there were big advancements in shoe technology, nutritional support, training methodologies. But there was a change in belief about what was possible because it wasn't a real limit. And so even when people are training, he wasn't necessarily delusional. I don't think just because if you believe it, it doesn't mean it's going to happen. But I feel like if we don't believe it, it dramatically reduces the chance of happening. Yeah. You know, because it's an act accordingly. Yeah. You know, and so many people, they're shrinking what's possible to fit their minds. And I would always say, what if we did the opposite?

The power of choice (06:03)

What if we expanded our minds in this situation to fit more of what's really possible? Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a great, great answer. You're so right. It's fascinating how everything is just a thought. I was talking to a couple of friends, a couple of nights ago, and I was talking to him about the hernia surgery that I just went through. And he was saying to me, like, how tough was it? And I had a tough version of it. We were just talking about it. Some people wake up and in the next 24 hours, they're fine. It's taken me four weeks to feel 50% again, right? Like that's how I feel. Maybe 50, 60% again. People have gone through for 12 months. Right. They're still here. Yeah. People are still going through it. And so he said to me, he was just like, do you like, how did you not let yourself get depressed? Because like the first week I couldn't walk and I had something called a telectasis, which is like a partial collapse of the lung. So I couldn't breathe every three breaths almost. And then my wife, Freshmeter Hospital to ER, like one morning at 3am because they thought I might have blood clots and I didn't, thankfully. And then the second week when I started to walk, it was still like on and off pain. It was very uncertain. I then ended up getting back pain because I was on my back for so long. I couldn't lie on either side because I had it on both sides. And so then my back was like, so I was waking up at 3am every day for three weeks because I couldn't sleep anymore because my back was hurting. So I was walking around at 3am. I couldn't sit to meditate. I was doing walking meditations. And he was like, how did you not get depressed during that time? And I said to him that for me, it was the power of my mind. And it was a story. It was like I'd lost the strength in my body for sure. But I kept repeating to myself, I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm healing. I'm happy, I'm healthy, I'm healing. And what I was saying to me, it's not that because I said that I was happy, healthy and healing. It's that I had a choice of a thought, which is what you're saying, a belief that I could have either believed I'm sad, I'm hurting, and it's all over. Or I'm happy, I'm healthy and I'm healing. And as just as you said, it's not that that belief or that thought made me better. But it's just that if I didn't have that thought, it would have been way harder to get through that pain. And so I love that to see that and practice what you just said for me was huge. You know, in Limitless, I talk about seven lives to learning. It was my real house is teaching celebrated learning. Teach me to be able to read faster, learn languages, learn people's names and through their memory, focus. And live for me is stands for Limited Idea Entertained. Limited Idea Entertained. So good. It's getting us to self reflect on, you know, is it really that you're too old or you're not smart enough? People come to me at events after they see me do these memory demonstrations or maybe I'll remember people's names or do something. And they'll say, Jim, I'm just not smart enough. I have a horrible memory. And I always say, stop. If you fight for your limitations, you get to keep them. Oh, yeah. Like for your limits, they're yours. And often we don't know that the power of our mind, you know, it's I mentioned this last time, but it's like your brain is this incredible supercomputer and your self talk, your thoughts of the program. It's like, oh, run, sometimes I'm not good at remembering people's names. You all remember the name of the next person, maybe as your program is supercomputer not to. So how do you transcend these lies? How do you end the trance? Because these live, these were learned, right? This idea that genius is born. This idea that we're only using, you know, a small fraction of our brain 10% or something like that. And you can unravel these lies. There's a, and you mentioned the very key word. I put a quote in the book from a French philosopher and he says, life is the sea between B and D. Life is the letter C between B and D. The stands for birth, the stands for death, life C. And you said it in choice that I really do believe that our lives are some total of all the choices we've made up to this point. You know, what are we going to eat? What are we going to fear our minds? Yeah, we're going to spend time with where we're going to live. You know, what are we going to believe? Yeah. What are we going to think and say to ourselves on a regular basis? Can I believe that these difficult times they can diminish us? These difficult times they can distract us, which a lot of people feel distracted or these difficult times they can develop us. Yeah. Ultimately, we always decide. So the power of choice, you may, you know, you made that choice in terms of what you choose to be able to believe. And with that choice, you know, comes a lot of responsibility. And with that responsibility comes a lot of power. I love what you clarified there, though, because the choice can be harder. Like I didn't go through a life threatening surgery. If someone went through that, it's the choice becomes harder and harder to make. If your stakes are higher and higher, but the choice brings power with it. And so it's like we need that power to come with it, right? Like, and that's where you were making clear for us. I'm one of the things that I'm thinking about when we're talking about limitations, limitations almost make us feel safe. I think people don't often connect the two, but they do. Like if you aim low, chances are you'll get there and so you won't experience disappointment. Right. If you place a limitation on yourself and say, well, I can't do that, then when you can't do it, it doesn't, it makes you feel good. Like, oh, at least I knew.

Limitations are safe (11:15)

And you're validated. And you're validated exactly. So you're looking for that. So how is a feeling that makes us feel safe? Actually, sometimes the thing that's blocking us from feeling great. Yeah. I think a lot of us want to, you know, where our nervous system is not necessarily set up for growth. I think in the beginning, it is until we've had some kind of a pain or trauma, then we want to be able to survive and keep ourselves safe. And there's this idea that, let's say negativity or pessimists are accurate more because they maybe they set that standard or that believe a little bit more achievable. But optimists maybe are at 16 more because of it, because they have that kind of moonshot idea or thinking. The brain really wants to keep you, keep you alive. Right. And it doesn't want to change. It takes effort. It takes energy to be able to achieve the goals. You know, there's this thing I saw on Twitter the other day saying life is hard for one of two reasons, either because you're leaving your comfort zone, like to be very hard, or because you're staying in your comfort zone. If people thought about change, which ultimately, you know, most people, one, if they're healthy, some area of their life, relationships, health, career or something, and they're looking outside and they want to achieve something else, it's a lot safer to be able to say, to keep something realistic with it without a doubt. And I'm like that way also. Yeah, of course. Of course. You know, in terms of my book deadlines, what would be coming to realistic is even possible to get it done in X amount of time. And I also find that part of getting results is reaching and then, you know, and then stable like you stretch and then you stabilize. Yeah. And then you stretch and you stay. We can't be, I don't feel like we can be stretching all the time. Agreed. That you could reach, reach, reach, but you have to recover. We have to replenish. You have to be able to rest and also as well. Yeah, I'm trying to, I'm trying to add to that because I know we both like a iteration, but it's like stretch, stabilize, and then forego. Like there's also what's a sacrifice, I guess, like, but in a positive sense. Surrender. Surrender. Yeah. Because I found that I definitely am shocked at my capacity. With the amount of things I do today that I didn't know wherever possible. So if someone told me 10 years ago, Jay, one day you're going to do this, this, this, this, this, I would have said, no way. I can just do one thing. And we did exactly what you said. So every year I would stretch myself every year and you're right. You can't just stretch, stretch, stretch, stretch every month. But every year I'd add one thing. So like first we started creating videos and then after we started creating videos, we did the podcast. And then we did the podcast. We did our courses and programming. And then we did our, then I wrote my book. And then after that, you know, so we stretched ourself a little and I stretch myself a little every year. But then we stabilized, but I've also found that I've also had to let go of something, sacrifice some things that once upon a time were really important to me. But today they're not as important. And in order to stretch and stabilize, I had to learn to sacrifice too. And I think that's something we struggle with. Like I think one of our biggest limitations is wanting to hold on to stuff. Yeah. Right? Like it's like there's no space to shift away and hold on to something else if we're holding on to this. If I'm like, no, no, I want this to be there for the rest of my life. I'm missing out. Like what about that kind of limitation where it's not a limitation that I think about myself. It's actually a limitation because I want something to be there. If that makes sense. And there is when we're talking about change or even transformation, the symbol for me is that of like many people, butterfly. And while the beauty is in the butterfly, the growth is happening usually in that cocoon and that crystal is. And it's one of those things where there's a story where there's this kid playing in the backyard when his parents are in the house and he comes across a caterpillar and he didn't, he wasn't allowed any pets.

Transformation is like a butterfly (14:59)

But he wanted to make this caterpillar, his pet. So he runs in, talks to his parents and kind of keep it, kind of keep it. And the mother says, yes, but you have to take care of it. You have to be able to feed it and everything. And she gives him a mason jar, puts a little hole in it. And then he goes there and he opens it up and he puts like leaves in there for the caterpillar to eat and a little tree branch for it to climb. And then one day, as you can imagine, it spins this cocoon and the boy is enthralled, is bill-wieldered at this process of life. But he gets a little impatient because he knows what's coming, right, that it's going to emerge as a butterfly. And then one day, lo and behold, you can see a little crack open up. And if he gets impatient because he's taking too long, so he runs inside his house and he grabs scissors and he walks back outside because he knows he's not supposed to run with those scissors. But he clips it, that hole open to be able to allow it to be able to get free. But an interesting thing happened when this creature came out. It didn't look like a butterfly. It kind of looked like a butterfly, but it didn't really. The wings were very shriveled, the body was very swollen. And it didn't fly. You know, the thing he was looking forward to. And he cries to his parents and the parents ask what happened. And he was explaining how he cut it open. And they explained to him because he was trying to make it easy for that creature, that that creature didn't have to develop the strength, right? And actually when it pushes through that hole is when it takes the fluids inside of its body and it nourishes and goes out to the wings. And then it can become that butterfly in sort of new heights. And I guess I bring this up because I feel like even the past few years, people feel like maybe they were cocooning. You know, and they were in this place and they were alone. Along with their thoughts, alone with their fears. It might be even feeling alone. And you and I have talked to many conversations about mental health and how our brain health is affecting our mental health. And I would say that through struggles, sometimes there is strength. You know, my struggles growing up were learning. It was public speaking. Life has a sense of humor because that's all I do is public speak on this thing called learning. But you know, disadvantage, within the word disadvantage, there's that word advantage, right? And I always feel like there's some kind of advantage within every disadvantage. Yeah. Yeah. And it's hard to see that when you're in it. When you're inside the jar. Yeah. Inside the cocoon. It's so hard to see it. But I think looking back at previous cocoons and seeing how you emerged is often the best bet you have. It's almost like, I know, I remember when I was at school, I'd always be like, "Well, last year I did well in my exams. So how do I do well this year? Let me remember what I did last year." And that's a very small example. But even now, it's like when I went through this surgery, the last surgery I had was when I lost my voice and I had polyps in my throat, which was around 10 years ago. And so for like, I remember that time for months on end, I was drinking out of a straw and like I couldn't speak and I had a whiteboard where I'd write things to my parents and my sister and my mom were taking care of me. And I was like, okay, well, I got through that surgery. Like what mindset did I need? Like what can I do now? Or what did I not do that time that I should get right now? And so I find like reflection is such a great tool to overcome limitations. And I think reflecting on your own life, and this is the part that I think, I want to talk about this with you because I don't know the answer and I don't think we've talked about this before, but we get so fascinated reflecting on other people's lives. Right? What is the news? What is pop culture news? What is mainstream media doing? You're spending your whole day reflecting on someone else's life. So and so cheated on someone, so and so messed up the world record, like didn't make it.

Reflecting on someone else’s life (18:57)

So and so like, you know, they fell off stage when they were performing their song or whatever it is, right? Like there's like this negative reflection on everyone else's life. But rarely do we carve out the time to reflect on our own life. Why do you think that is and where does that come from? And I just want to hear your thoughts on that because reflection is something we all know how to do. We just don't necessarily do it inward. I think it could be an incredible advantage also, reflection. I mean, when you reflect on something, you're harnessing the power of your memory. And you know, as the memory coach, you know, I feel like it's not just remembering facts and figures in foreign languages, or speeches or things that can make you more productive in your performance. It's also reflecting and remembering the things that give you confidence and certainty moving forward. That reflection can be a superpower that hindsight could lead to foresight. So many people forget about their wins. You know, they forget sometimes of the things that they overcame. You know, I was and so many people are scared of, you know, someone watching this or listening to right now, it could be afraid of making a mistake and looking bad. You know, I always tell people, well, if you make a mistake, you make it old, whole LD and everything's an acronym. Oh, is you own it? You know, we don't put it outside of ourselves. We don't become a victim. We apologize if we hurt somebody. We fix it if we can. We take responsibility for it, because that allows us to be able to make it better. The L is you learn from it. And that's why we make mistakes, right? There are stepping stones to make us a better person if we learn from it, that there's maybe there's no failure, maybe there's feedback, or maybe there's no, you know, you're not failing, maybe just failing to learn something. And so you want to be able to do that. But then the D is really where it lands. The D is don't repeat it. So many people could learn in the moment, but then they repeat it. They repeat that mistake in their relationships or in their dating life. They repeat it. They forget that junk food made them feel like, you know, afterwards, or staying up late at night. Yeah. And in terms of ruining their sleep and during their peace of mind the next day. So don't repeat it because, you know, insanity, doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. And sometimes it's not insanity. Maybe sometimes it's just not managing our memory, you know, and remembering that those moments, the hindsight where we've made, you know, where like everyone right now can imagine a time where they felt like they couldn't survive, you know, that they couldn't go any further. And the truth is if they're listening to this, they did, they survived it, you know, and to be able to acknowledge it part of self care is and self love is looking at that person in the mirror. And you know, that person has been through so much, but it's still standing, you know, and it's and reflecting on that in terms of how far we've come. Yeah, memory is such a tricky thing. Like in the sense of not just like remembering something, what I mean by that is we all know that there's a song from our past that it clicks on and almost all of a sudden you're feeling nostalgia and you're like remembering that moment when you were at college or whatever it was, right, you can go back to that place. So memory works in that way. But memory also works in the opposite way. Like I was thinking to myself that, you know, just a few weeks ago, I couldn't walk. And I was walking really slowly.

Pain makes you present (22:11)

I was like really dealing with the pain. I was like, okay, I never, you know, I want to be so mindful. And then as soon as you start to feel better, it's so easy to just forget all of that. Yeah. And just start walking normally again and being not mindful. And it's almost like that where it's like pain makes you really present and conscious and there. And then all of a sudden when pain goes away, you're not present anymore and you kind of just get on with your life. And so I find it weird that sometimes our memory is so strong and sometimes it's so weak also when people have had a really painful trauma in the past, that pain stays with us. And that we almost don't let go of enough. But then sometimes when we've had certain pains, we let them go too quick. It's almost like how long pain stays with you is all pleasure stays with you is such a weird concept. And I guess what you're saying is that there are certain types of pain that we have to learn to let go. There are certain types of pain that we need to remember in order to not repeat the same mistake. And it's like, how do you know which one's which? You know, or how do you process it? And even in relationship, a lot of emotional pain, mental anguish in relationships sometimes. And you know, it's even when you're thinking about forgiving someone, you could forgive them and but not forget in terms of the lesson that they taught you. And even adversity, I mean, do you feel part of it is in hindsight, I think about what's the meaning of this, right? That's a choice that we can make at any given time. Do you think that what you went through most recently with your surgery? Do you think it's, do you look it in any way as what is this teaching me? Yeah, yeah, always. I think for me, I mean, there's a lot of lessons in it. One thing is I consider myself to be quite a mindful, healthy individual. I try and eat healthy, I work out, I sleep healthy, I have good rhythms and routines. I definitely push the optimal performance button. Like, I'm like, definitely always trying to figure that out.

Living slow-paced (24:05)

And I think things like this are very humbling. And that's how I that's the biggest meaning I take away from all of this stuff is you're not the control there. You're not Superman. You're not you haven't figured everything out. Like, they're very humbling. They're they make you realize you're still in a human body and you have to deal with the ups and downs of it. The second thing I think I took away from this whole journey was how much I've enjoyed being slow. Like, it's I consider myself like, I want to say slow, I mean, I consider myself to be present mentally, but I think I'm quite fast physically and I live a fast life physically. And mental presence is a beautiful thing when you live fast, but having physical presence also, which this surgery made me have for the first time in a long time, probably since I was a kid, like, I can't remember. I've literally felt like there were times when I was teaching myself how to slowly walk again and I put pressure on my feet. And I was like, wait a minute, it's really nice living life this slow. Like, this is actually really special. Like, I hope I can hold on to elements of this. And yesterday it was funny because I was with my friends in New York City and we were on a walk and usually we looked at it was like 20 minutes to get somewhere and the store was going to close in 30 minutes. And I know that if I was walking that path like five months ago, I'd have been like, we can do that in 10. Like, that's what I would have said. And I said to my friend, he's like, look, I think I'm going to do it in probably like 23 minutes because I'm slower right now. And so we're only going to get seven minutes of the store. So if you guys want to go ahead, you guys go ahead and I'm going to walk in my pace. And we walked in, we got there in 23 minutes and it was absolutely fine. But it was even just me having that shift. I was like, well, I'm really appreciating walking at this pace. Even I could get more done before. There's a certain joy in moving at this pace. So I fully agree with you. I think there's so much meaning, so many lessons. And that is the only way to live. I mean, you know, if you don't live that way, it just ends up being another inconvenience. Well, we certainly all everybody could ask. Anyway, we have this shared adversity, right? It comes in different forms. You know, I mentioned my challenges for learning public speaking. As an adult, I had severe sleep issues from sleep apnea obstructive. And I would for five years, I slept 90 minutes a night. And it was just tearing my mind apart. That's crazy. Yeah, this is one of the things and it wasn't straight. It was very interrupted. I would stop breathing.

Peace of mind (26:27)

It was more of a genetic thing. And I would stop breathing 240 times a night. Each time was like 10 seconds. And I did a series of surgeries and I know how humbling that could be. You know, and sometimes being reminded that we aren't always the the superman or woman or girl. You know, there's a great foundation for curiosity. So what can I learn from this? A great appreciation to cultivate gratitude. You know, I think what you appreciate tends to appreciate, you know, in our life for sure. And gratitude, reached wires, our nervous system, for greater productivity, for greater performance and certainly greater peace. You know, and I think peace of mind is high currency today. Totally. And without a doubt, with my sleep though, you know, and that was a very painful surgery. It was different than when you're a kid taking, they took a nice tonsil, my uvula, my soft palate. And I was, you know, for weeks, couldn't breathe, couldn't eat, couldn't do anything. But I think what I learned from my sleep issues, you know, there was a gift in it, you know, when I would be able to read and remember and focus and, you know, so I got to, you know, live what I teach and practice what I post. That's what it is. Yeah, that's what it is. That's a big thing. And then the other part of it is I found out that, you know, everything I did was, you know, for a reason. Like there's nowhere else I'd rather be right now, right? I would always say, you know, heck yes or heck no. Because I think a lot of people get tired and because they have too many tabs open. Or maybe some people watching right now feel burnt out because they're doing too much. Maybe you're not burnt out because you're doing too much. Maybe you feel burnt out because you're doing too little of the things that make you feel alive, the other things that really light you up. And you know, being in that cocoon, part of it is you could get clarity. You know, I think solitude, when we choose to slow down and have, you know, gets based from noise. And when you say yes to somebody or something, you're not saying no to yourself. And I think clarity using time just even five, 10 minutes a day to just clarify what's sometimes when you're going 100 miles an hour, you're not thinking about, oh, am I going in the right direction? Yeah. Right. And asking yourself a simple question like, what's most important to me, you know, in my life? What's most important to me in this moment in my relationships and my career? And then asking yourself on the other side, are my actions today aligned with those values? Yes. Because sometimes, you know, we make doing something that's, it's not just about time management for productivity. It's about mind management. And it's about priority management. You know, the most important thing is to keep the most important thing, the most important thing. And you know, that will allow you while you're cocooning, you know, that clarity as well as doing stuff. There are things like care and contribution. I could alliterate all the seas. Yeah, yeah, no. Makes a difference to come out of this stronger to be able to soar to new heights as we're going through this transformation. Yeah, I think if someone's listening to this right now and like, really feeling limited in, you know, the sense of how they feel about themselves, they're limited by how many options. I think options is an interesting thing. Like, you know, and it is different for different people. I remember that when I was in the corporate world and when I was employed, and yeah, I didn't do what was meaningful to me. I wasn't passionate about what I did.

Having options (29:42)

It was just what I needed to do to pay the bills and take care of things. What gave me more confidence was that I always would know if I had other options of what I could do. Right. And I would have to entertain options in order to realize that I wasn't as limited as I thought I was. Because there was a part of me that believed I was like, well, this is what I can do. This is the only qualification I have. Like, no one else would give me a job. And then there was a part of me that was like, well, that's not true, actually. I could change and shift and do this and do that. I think often we limit the number of options we think we have. It's almost like going back to that Edison quote of like, I didn't fail 10,000 times. I just found 9,999 ways not to do it. And I think there's a deeper thought from him that I loved when he said, and this is something I always hold on to. And Edison said, when you think you've exhausted all options, remember this, you haven't. And I've always loved that because sometimes I feel like that, sometimes I'm trying to make something happen, right? Maybe you're trying to get a book deal. Maybe someone's trying to get a podcast deal. Maybe someone's trying to raise a million dollars to save, you know, a group of people from something that they're struggling with. And you try everything and then none of them work and you think, oh, well, it's just not meant to happen. But Edison's take is, well, there's another other, how do you kind of live for that one more? Yeah. It doesn't make sense yet. It does. They say that the problem is rarely the problem. The problem is our attitude about the problem. Yeah. You know, with with options, it's, they've shown where it's one of those things where if you're, if you're limited to one option or two options, you don't really have a whole lot of choice. But also, if you have too many options, you might not actually have anything because you struggle with decision fatigue, right? You have the menu is like 50 pages long. And then it does you have this overwhelm? And our brain primarily is more of a deletion device is trying to keep options out or information out. Otherwise, we'd become overloaded and also overwhelmed. And so that's a big part of it. You know, something I teach in everything, whenever I'm working with a client, I just look through one framework and I call it the limitless model. And maybe this will shed light and we can have a conversation about this where I believe limits are learned in one of three areas. And so if everybody, we could turn this into a little exercise. Yeah. If everybody can think of an area where you feel limited, all right? So just think of any area where you feel like and limitless is for me, it's not about like being perfect. Limitless is about advancing or progressing beyond which you currently believe or demonstrating is possible.

The Limitless Model (32:11)

And so if everybody thinks about an area of their health, maybe it's a relationship, where do you feel like you're stuck? Like you're not advancing. Where do you feel like you're in a box? Now that box by definition is three dimensional, right? And there's three forces that contain that box, but they're also three, four. These are the same three forces that will liberate you out of that box and help you become more limitless. So imagine that they're being represented by three intersecting circles. Some people are familiar with a Venn diagram. It's kind of like Mickey Mouse, two ears, two circles, and then a face, right? And they overlap. So the first one is your mindset. And so I believe that our mindset is something like I wasn't born with this idea that I had a broken brain. It was imprinted on me, right? And our mindset comes from our experience through external environment, you know, through throughout other people's expectations. And mindset, I'm defining as the your attitude and assumptions about something, your attitude's assumptions about what's possible, your attitudes and assumptions about what you're capable of, because you could believe it's possible for somebody else to have that loving relationship or build that big business or have a hundred thousand followers. But you might not believe it's possible for you and you can still be stuck in that box. Besides what is possible, what you're capable of, what you believe you deserve, right? A lot of people might be stuck in that box because they might know the right methods that might be motivated, but they don't believe that they deserve those things. So those are the things that I talk about uncovering and unlimiting those those lies. So if you believe you're not smart enough, if you believe you're a slow reader, if you believe you're I am a procrastinator, whatever happens to be, you're stuck in that box. The second circle that you have to take into account besides mindset, and there are many interventions, by the way, like if you feel like you could identify a lie that, you know, hey, I'm not smart enough, I don't have the resource, whatever it is, you know, there are things that people have talked about on your show, whether it's emotional freedom technique, EMDR, hypnosis, there's a ways of changing your belief systems, right? The second circle though is just as powerful. The second emphasized mindset is motivation, you know, and motivation, you could have a limitless mindset, but not be motivated to get out of that box. You might think everything is possible, I deserve it, I'm capable, but you're not motivated to get off the couch and do those things. You know, for me, there's a simple formula for sustained motivation, and it's P, the letter P times E times S3. And so if we're to do a thought experiment and say, what do you want to be motivated for? Maybe for some people it's to read every day, you know, leaders or readers, somebody has decades of experience like you do, you put into a book, think like a monk, and somebody sits down a few days and reads that book, they can download decades and days, but they're not reading every day. Maybe they're really good at buying a book, but they're not good at reading that book. This is some people, right? They're very good at adding to cart, and it sits on their shelf and becomes shelf help, not self help, right? But they're not motivated. And so maybe their mindset is, yeah, it's good to grow, but they're not motivated. So P stands for purpose. And what I mean by purpose is, and you're an expert at this, it's just not just cognitive reasons, but how do you feel about something? Because we know we're not logical, we are more emotional, right? You mentioned that if there's a song that can take you back to when you're a child, it's that emotional feeling, that mood that got linked to that information. It's just like a food or a fragrance that can take you back to when you're a kid. So purpose, allowing yourself to feel the benefits instead of just asking for your head to your heart, your hands, right? And so allow yourself to feel that. But even if someone has purpose, they might not read, because the E stands for energy, right? A lot of some people, if they haven't slept because they have a newborn child, they can't focus, right? They can't have the mental fortitude, or maybe they ate some junk food, and I don't think there's junk food, there's junk and there's food, but maybe they're in a food coma and they don't have the energy to study, right? So yeah, we talk about the best brain foods, how to reduce stress, take six of a lot of energy, pure root could take a lot of energy out of you as well. But let's say you have limitless purpose and limitless energy. The S3 are those small, simple steps, those tiny little actions you could take. So maybe it's working out and that's too big, or going back to reading. Maybe it's reading a chapter is too big for someone who doesn't do that. Maybe just opening the book is a small, simple step. Reading one line is a small, simple step. Maybe working out an hour a day is tough, maybe getting your running shoes on, maybe getting yourself to the gym is a small, simple step. I think little by little, a little becomes a lot. And so that's really the key is consistency, because if you're persistent, you could achieve it, but if you're consistent, you get to keep it. And it's the difference between something being attainable and sustainable over time. And then finally, the last them are the methods. Once you have a limitless mindset, you have a limitless motivation, you could be doing old methods and still not get to where you need to go. Old methods of sales, old methods of learning, old methods of health. And you wonder why you're still stuck in that box. And so when's the last time we took time to upgrade our knowledge, our skills, our abilities. So those are the 3M's and if people draw that out or even imagine that, you'll notice that the 3M's overlap and they create three eyes too, where mindset and motivation crossover, the first eye is inspiration. Right? Because it changes, what's inspiration? Something that changes your mindset about what's possible. And also you're a little bit motivated, you have some drive and purpose. But you might not have the methods, you might not have the instruction, right? So you're still stuck in that box. Where mindset and methods crossover, you believe it's possible in your mind and you know what to do, the methods, that's the second eye which is ideation. It just stays an idea, right? Nothing's happening because you're not motivated. And then finally, where motivation and methods crossover, you have the third eye, which is implementation. You're motivated, you have purpose, you have energy and you know what to do to get out of that box. But you can still be stuck in that box because you're limited by your mindset. And so that's what I think. And then we're all three connect, you have the fourth eye, which is your identity, which is integration. It's just who you are. And that's really the goal. So my my conversation with becoming more limitless is about redrawing, like where where we stuck. And I think when you could identify, oh, it's let's say someone can't remember names, is it my mindset? Do I believe I'm just too old or have a horrible memory? Or maybe that's not the case. Maybe it's, hey, I don't have a purpose, I don't have a reason to remember their names. Yeah, right. Or I'm just really tired. Or I don't have the methods, I was never taught, there's no class on how to remember names. And then it gives you your agency back. It gives you a power back. It's such a phenomenal framework. It's such a fantastic framework. And I know it's in the book limitless. It's it's such a great framework. And I love the way you break things down. Because like you said, I think often we just spend too much time while we waste too much time, just trying to figure out what the issue is. And it's one of those three. I want you know that, then you can break it down. And I think you've just given people a real map to say, hey, which area you struggling with with whatever limit they chose. And it works for yourself. And also, it's a map you could use with people around you. Yeah. It's a lens when you're working with your kids and they're not doing something that they know they should do. You know, is it their mindset? Do they not believe in themselves? Do they believe they're capable? Do they not believe they deserve it? Or maybe they have no purpose to clean their room or to study these things, you know, if it's not relevant to them, they're probably not. And so you know what to address. Maybe they're just we have to work on optimizing their energy because you don't have energy. You do it. Right. Yes. This whole idea you take your nouns and your life and turn them into verbs. You don't have focus. People are thinking that's my problem, Jim. I'm watching this because I don't have focus. But you don't have focus. You do it. There's a process for focusing. You don't have a memory. There's a process of encoding, storing, retrieving. You know, you don't even have energy. There's a process for generating energy. You know, as our friend Brendan Bouchard talks a lot about, you know, a lot that you know, you generate this kind of energy. And there also, it can be the methods. Sometimes it's simply learning better tools also as well. So you can use it with your friends. You can work with your team. And this works micro and it also works macro. This works at a cultural level. It works at the level of community. It works at the level of your country. There's a set mindset about, you know, what may be around certain issues. Right. And it's really hard to create change or become more limitless, you know, based on certain mindset around maybe fairness and quality, whatever happens to be. Or maybe these people and maybe they don't have purpose, you know, or maybe they're being incentivized to keep things in a certain way. Or maybe they lack energy or resources. Or maybe they're using old methods for leadership or making change. Right. So it can happen micro or macro. That's unbelievable. Yeah, I love that. I love the framework even more hearing it from you. It's just, I'm trying to think of so many areas in my life where I'm like, okay, which one am I struggling with? Right. Like which one is it where we haven't got it right or we haven't figured it out. And I think if everyone just took a few moments today to reflect on that one area of their life that they want to work on and identify it with that process, when we start to do it, you know, who we're around, we always have known that like who we're around is such a big deal. Our friends, our family, our community, like these things have a huge impact on us, right? Like negativity is contagious. Like so much. So many people say that they feel drained by the people around them or their family or that when they share a new big idea, right, with someone that they love, they're often met with resistance. Like I hear this so often. And when you think about limits, you think about what you said, like you didn't, you weren't born with limits, you had limits placed on you, but we either get to choose to accept or reject those limits.

Challenge Of Rejecting Limitations

Rejecting a limit (41:46)

But it's really hard. And it's really hard for people to reject a limit placed on them by someone they love and trust. Walk us through that a little bit like, let's think out loud about that. Like when someone has their mother or their father or someone they really respect, place a limit on them. Right. You want that person to root for you, you want that person for you to win. Yeah, we all need people to encourage us, to be able to challenge us, to be able to cheer lead for us, to believe in us. And if we haven't found that person yet, then my advice would be to be that person. Be that person for somebody else, especially be that person for yourself, right? You know, we talked about last time in this conversation, the difference between a thermostat and a thermometer. A thermometer on the wall just, it's only function that reacts to the environment. And sometimes we, as human beings, we react to the economy, we react to politics, we react to how people treat us, react to the weather. But we know through studies done on people who are most successful, at least at least the ones that are happiest and most fulfilled, they don't react as much as they respond, right? They're a thermostat. A thermostat doesn't react to the environment. It gauges, it knows the temperature in this room. But it also what? It sets a temperature and the environment reacts to it. So it's that agency. You know, last time you and I talked about some of the people that I get to be able to spend time with and coach, and what I learned from those people. And one of them I mentioned was Stan Lee. And it wasn't just his playfulness, you know, and his passion for what he did. It was also responsibility. You know, I remember I picked him up for dinner one day evening and I asked him, like, I need to know this because I remember, I couldn't read and I tell myself how to read by reading comic books. I tell him that whole story because it brought the words to life. But I said, "Who's your favorite?" "Who's your favorite?" And he says, "Jim, my favorite is Iron Man." And he says, "Jim, who's your favorite?" And he had the Spider-Man tie and I was like, "Spider-Man." And he says, "Without a pause, his iconic voice with great power comes great responsibility," right? And truthfully, I reverse a lot of things I see, I read, I hear, maybe because of my brain injuries as a child and I heard something totally different. I was like, "Sam, you're right, with great power comes great responsibility." And the opposite is also true. With great responsibility comes great power. When we take responsibility for something, we have great power to make things better. You know? And the thing is, when we make excuses or we complain, it's probably all valid. We probably, it's probably true, right? But it doesn't make anything better, right? So we use a lot of our focus, our attention, our energy, when it can be better, well spent because we can't be upset by the results we didn't get from the work we didn't do, right? And so when we take personal responsibility, we have the power to make things better. And I would say part of responsibility is, our peer group certainly affects things. I always say watch. It affects W, our words, right? The words we started adopting the same language patterns as people around us, started using the same phrases. The A, our actions, we started doing the same behaviors as people around us also as well, good and bad, what we eat. So it's not just our neurological networks, it's our social networks, right? And who we spend time with is who we become. We started believing their same standards and their expectations of us, right? The T in watch is we started mirroring the thoughts of the people around us. We start thinking the same way about ourselves as other people think about us. The C is a big one, it's our character, right? We know that people, if they have breaks in integrity and they're around people that are disingenuous, you know, that they're more likely to pursue, you know, and have that same kind of standard. I saw recently a quote that said, integrity is measured by the distance between someone's lips and their life. And I just like, wow, that's a nice cut. Yeah, that's powerful. I love that. I call it truth bumps, but yeah, that's the character. And then finally, the H in watch, our habits, we started adopting the same routines and the habits of the people that we spend time with. So we have to stand guard to the doors of our mind, right? And we have these mirror neurons that's constantly in our nervous system that are constantly imitating the people around us. And so we can love our family and we can love our friends. But when our lives are fueled by the expectations and beliefs and opinions of other people, then we're going to run out of gas, right? Good, bad, and different. Part of it is owning that agency saying that, yes, it's hard, you know, when people don't believe in you and like that, that's, I was very blessed. I think, you know, I won the lottery when it came to my parents. They immigrated here. They're not the most spiritual. They've never had a green juice. You know, they don't do yoga. They're not the most health conscious or, you know, reperson development books, but they're just, it's really good people. They do what they are hardworking. They're very, very kind. You know, so I feel like everything that's good that's come out of, you know, that I've ever done is I credit to them. Anything that's fall short, you know, it's all on me. You know, so I was very, I'm very blessed. And it's not so much about the resources you have because we didn't have any education. We didn't have any money. You know, we live in the back of a laundry mat that my mom, whom we know worked at didn't have any connections or network or anything, you know, back then. And so I would say that if there's somebody else that has survived and even thrived, you know, in those kind of situations, that I do believe that genius in any of its form. And I'm talking about IQ, that it's built, that it's not born. It's built around that we shouldn't be shrinking our lives and our dreams to meet this current situation. Instead, don't downgrade your dreams to meet this current situation. What if we upgraded our mindset? What if we upgrade in our motivation? What if we upgraded the methods we're using to be able to meet our destiny? Jim, that is so powerful. I mean, that one statement, the reframe, I've heard that I'm a big Marvel fan, as you know, and to hear that reframe of that statement with great responsibility comes great power. That's a universal principle. It's almost like if you think about it, that when you take on a great responsibility, everything in the universe can spy us to help you with it. And so the amount of help you get is about how much healing you're trying to brain. And that's really beautiful and powerful. And that's going to stay with me for a long time. That's a really, really special insight. And I want to make sure that everyone goes out and grabs a copy. If you don't already, of Limitless by Jim Quick, the 3M model is in this book and broken down step by step. As you saw, and her, Jim is a highly systematic, logical thinker. And so, if you want really practical key advice on all of these ideas and insights, then make sure you go and grab a copy of this book. Jim, I want to thank you for teaching us all how to be Limitless today and break through our limitations. I want to thank you for doing it in your own life. Thank your parents too for doing what they did. That was beautiful to hear that. And I'm always here to support and be right with you whatever you're doing. So thank you so much. Yeah, I appreciate it. And thank you to your entire community. I believe the world right now. So many people feel like they're dimming themselves, their message to be able to, because they don't want their life to shine in other people's eyes. And I feel like we need to be doing the opposite now more than ever. We need a better, brighter world. And I think that there's a version of ourselves and our family, as our purpose, everything that's patiently waiting. And the goal is we show up every single day until we're introduced. Well said, well said. Jim, quick everyone. Make sure that you tag me and Jim on Instagram, on Twitter, on TikTok, whatever platform you're using. Let us know what you learned, what you took away, what you've gained from this conversation. We're going to be back next week, of course, with another incredible episode of On Purpose. Thank you for all your love. Make sure you subscribe and Jim, thank you so much again for joining us. It's been an honor. If you want even more videos just like this one, make sure you subscribe and click on the boxes over here. I'm also excited to let you know that you can now get my book Think Like A Monk from ThinkLikeAMonkBook.com. Check below in the description to make sure you order today.

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