Clarity On Direction | How To Live The Life You Want To Live | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "Clarity On Direction | How To Live The Life You Want To Live".
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This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host, Elite Life Optimization Coach Ryan Nydell, and today's episode is Clarity on Direction. Today I'm going to share with you a simple lesson that I learned through a client of mine and how you can apply it to yourself. So yesterday I shared with you a little bit about the internal workings of the 10-day challenge. It got a little spicy. It got a little exciting, a little passion in my voice, a little fire. That's authentic. It's my soul's purpose here to make sure that you feel love and you feel heard and then vice versa back.
Conceptualizing Success And Personal Goals
Risks and responsibilities (00:59)
And I know there's a really good probability that you're not living the exact life you want to live. And I believe it's my mission to help you find that, to own that, to embody it, and then scale it. That ideal life we talk about. And so when I see people not rising up to the occasion of living their greatest selves, but yet not willing to make an investment in themselves, I can't help but get frustrated because it's always uncomfortable. When I had the big, big abscess on my leg that I've so maybe eloquently or ineloquently discussed, I had to go to the doctor. I had to make an investment in that. The first trip to the doctor was, let's say, $250. Then I had to go back every seven days and get, I think it was every three or four days even, drive an hour to the other side of town, pay them to take out packing tape, packing gauze that was stuffed in this hole in my leg, Pay them to take out packing tape, packing gauze that was stuffed in this hole in my leg, repack it, and pay them another $150. And I did this six times over the course of two or three weeks before they finally said like, eh, it'll probably close itself now. Let's just put a bandage over it. Right, and of course I didn't want to do that. I didn't want to spend the money on it, but I did. There was a plan that was enacted, and I knew what the desired result was. I knew that in order to have full function of my left leg, not to have it amputated, I was going to have to make some sacrifices of both time and energy.
Ideal lives (02:38)
An hour both directions to the doctor, the hundreds of dollars, the things. But it's because I knew where I was going to end up, right? I knew that at the end of the day, my leg was going to heal. I trusted in my physician. Big thanks to Dr. Eric Serrano. If you guys are in the sports athletic field, do a little bit of research. Type in Dr. Eric Serrano and see the plethora of information that he puts out, complimentary. This guy's a genius, a literal genius as it pertains to the human body and how it works. But right, I'm giving up an hour both direction, I'm giving up money, but I knew, I trusted in him that we got to the end, my leg would work like it was supposed to, I'd be left with a little battle wound, something I'll refer to as a scar that would remind me of my stupidity and encourage me to not walk that path again.
Smart goals (03:33)
And lo and behold, that's exactly what I have is that scar and a reminder not to ever walk down that path again. And I don't feel compelled to. I share this because inside of the group, inside the training, the same thing I shared yesterday, right? There's a specific section that I take people through in any training protocol and any coaching modality with me. And we eventually get to a point of goal setting. And the goal setting I go through isn't, sure, there's some smart goals, right? Some specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound, right? There's some things that's certainly part of it, but that's like a microcosm of what it really is. And I won't bore you, this entire episode's not about setting goals, but in some capacities it ties in nicely. I won't bore you. This entire episode is not about setting goals. But in some capacities, it ties in nicely. Because what I've found with most clients, with most people in general, perhaps even you, somewhere along the path of life, we stop giving ourselves permission to admit what we really want. It's crazy, right? I was speaking with a good friend and a client of mine today and he says, Ryan, you know, I'm doing this meditation. It's some of Dr. Joe Dispenza's work. He's talking about, you know, painting a picture in your mind about where you want to end up, right? That future self. Something like Dr. Nicole LaPara would talk about in her future self-journaling. I'm painting this picture, but it makes me uncomfortable, and I don't like to meditate because I don't know what I want in the future. It's okay. I said, I guess I can work with them. I said, but I must, unfortunately, I must call bullshit here.
Suffocating yourself by asking for permission (05:25)
And he looks at me, his head tilts sideways, goes, well, he laughs. What do you mean? I told you I can't figure it out. I said, okay, let's think just for a second that somehow I stumble upon a magic wand, or maybe even a genie in a bottle. And that genie in a bottle says very clearly on the outside, it will work 100% of the time. It says very clearly on the outside it will work 100% of the time. Once you rub it once, you have 30 seconds to spit out the exact wish that you want. And only one wish will be fulfilled, and it will be fulfilled exactly as you want it to be. And from the moment you find the bottle, you only have five hours to enact the wish or it goes away. And if that was the case, right, If that was the case in this fictional setting, you would figure out in a five-hour period exactly what you want. You'd give yourself permission to do it because you knew the risk would be offset by the reward. And so I'd like to walk you through the same thing I encourage him to walk through, if you'd be so kind as to do it with me. At some point, probably not while you're driving, if that's what you're doing now, not while you're at the gym, if that's what you're doing, but sit down and close your eyes for a second. And I personally don't care if you're married and have kids, if you're single, if you're divorced, if you're younger, if you're old, if you're black or if you're white, I don't care what your religious beliefs are. Don't care about any of that stuff. Those are all societal confines and contracts that I'm going to say in this moment in time, you can decide to break any of them. Some of them I'm even going to encourage you to break, if that's what your heart tells you. And so you lay back and you close your eyes, right? You get into, I'll call it a meditative state, but that might scare some people away. Just get into a place where you're calm, where you're not thinking about anything else other than the sound of my voice. And from that very place, imagine some point in the future, driving up to the house of your absolute dreams. You're in a car. You can't tell what type of car it is quite now, but you're on the road. You know the engine's running. You can't hear what type of engine it is. And you can round the bend and see the house that you've always wanted. Maybe the house is large with multiple levels, sprawling property. Maybe it's overlooking the water. Maybe the house that you've always desired is actually a mobile home. Maybe the house you've desired as you round that corner is a small tent that you could see yourself moving across the country over and over again. But in your mind right now as you think through rounding that corner and having your eyes find joy in that exact house, know what that looks like. Give yourself permission just for this moment to feel the steering wheel in your hand and smile inside as you round the corner seeing this house that is ultimately yours. And as you pull in the driveway to this home that is quite obviously yours, I know that because as you reach up and press the garage door opener that's affixed to the visor, the garage door opens. As you pull up to the home and the garage door opens, or maybe the gate slides open and allows you in the front foyer, you internally glow just a bit brighter. That light that you have in you shines because you do in fact realize that this property is yours. And at this point, although the garage door is open, you decide because the sun is shining brightly in the sky and it seems like it's a beautiful day, you're gonna park the vehicle that you've been riding in right outside. And so seemingly without effort, you put the car in park, you shut off the ignition, you grab the keys, you open the door, and you step outside. As you step outside and you marvel in the glory that is the day that seems to be just perfectly designed for you. You now in full view can see the car of your dreams. Maybe it's something sporty and two-door. Maybe it's something a bit more practical, like a minivan. Maybe it's something that can tow a boat or a trailer, whatever it is, it's ultimately the car that you've always wanted. And so now you imagine and you see the house that you've always wanted, the sun high in the sky and the car that your ultimate desire. And it's all right there in front of you. And as you walk through the doorway to the house and you enter, you're greeted with the sounds of the loved ones that you want to have in this house with you. Perhaps as I say this, you imagine your children's children being there and greeting you. Maybe you're not at that point yet, and maybe it's just your children. Maybe you imagine complete and utter silence, and you're the only one in the home. Or perhaps it's just the sound of your spouse kindly greeting you. spouse kindly greeting you. As we take the example of your spouse, whoever that may be, when you hear the sound of I'll say her voice in my situation, imagine walking through the house that is now the exact house that you've always wanted and greeting your spouse with a warm embrace. Notice the color of her hair, her height, the overall physical structure of her body.
Seeing what your dream home and dream life is like (11:29)
Take note and notice all of those features because they're all important. This is a partner that you've always sought after. There's a chance in this moment that it's not the person you're with right now. This is just the facts of what your ideal life could look like. And then as you sit down on what we'll say the kitchen table, with your spouse milling around in the kitchen, you open up your laptop, pull out your iPad. You feel compelled in just this moment to open up your bank account and see the balance. Perhaps a bill is need paid or a friend has asked for some money. And so you log in to whatever bank you currently use and you see at the bottom right-hand corner that bank balance. And you visualize what that total really is. Perhaps having $100,000 in cash is more than you've ever imagined before, and that would be your ideal life. Perhaps you need another zero or two after that. The beautiful part about this, my friend, is it's your ideal life. It's not mine. And so you see the bank account balance, and after viewing that selflessly, you decide to offer that friend the loan that he's asked for, but you tell him or her that it's a gift. And so you send the money and you see that bank account balance diminished by whatever that value was. But almost seemingly, with help from the hand of God himself or whatever the higher power is that you believe, no sooner do you press send than you get a deposit for just about the same amount of money. And the bank balance raises back up to what it was when you first logged in. And so you look at that and you say to your wife, let's travel. I want to go to wherever it is you want to go. to wherever it is you want to go. I want to go to Italy. And I want to stay at the Sofitel in Rome. And I want the penthouse suite with the view of the city. And so seemingly, without any sort of effort or fanfare, you're at the airport. And you imagine what type of plane you get on and the type of accommodations you're able to fly in. Is it economy? Is it business? Is it first class? Is it private? This is your dream, my friend. It's not me. And so you go to in my situation Rome and Italy and you experience all that there is to experience there then you come home to the same house that you created with the same wife that appeared in your mind with the same car in the garage and all the things that you could ever want.
What is success? Making clarity in direction a must (14:48)
I share this all with you because that exact exercise is the goal-setting exercise that I take people through to start with. It's just it's more in-depth. It's across 12 areas of your life. And when you write down where everything is going to sit in those 12 areas, when you understand what success truly feels like for you, it makes it much easier to actually go out and achieve it. Because clarity on direction ultimately makes it much easier to arrive where you want to end up. And what happens for most of us is we believe that the future is one magic day that we're just going to arrive to, that success is going to find us. It doesn't work that way. You need to, at some point, sit down and get really, really, really painfully clear on what it really is that you're searching. What is it that success means to you? Not to your spouse, not to your kids, not to your parents, not to your coworkers. In the quiet and silence of your own mind, what does success look like? Then you set a time in the future, a time that makes you uncomfortable, a time where you say, I have no idea how I'm going to pull this off. In my opinion, for most of us, it's about five years out. From that point, you start ratcheting backwards in year increments with exponential growth, how you're going to actually pull this off. And once you get to a year, then you break it down into four quarters. And those four quarters eventually end up in 12 weeks. And those 12 weeks end up in a daily habit that's required to pull off what it is that you want to pull off. So there's a chance and a possibility that in order to have the dollar in the bank account that you want five years from now, in order to have the wife that you want, in order to take the vacations you want, in order to take the vacations you want. The most impactful thing that you might have to do in those quadrants of your life today are simply tell the woman you're dating right now that you love her. And instead of going out for lunch and spending $20, maybe you pack and you only spend five and you save the 15. And maybe to have the body that feels the right way instead of having the second donut, you opt to not have any. Because we think that somehow success is going to require a grand slam home run on the bottom of the ninth. But it is my ultimate belief that really success is nothing more than swinging a consistent number of singles.
Thirty-Day Visualization Exercise
For the next 30 days, go through this visualization exercis (17:30)
And only you know what the singles are versus your goals. And to overcomplicate these things seems like a fool's errand. And so my wish and my hope for you today is to do exactly what I just shared with you. Go through a meditative practice. Go through this visualization exercise where you're able to actually see what is possible. And then back into what you can do tomorrow to move you incrementally closer in small daily steps. Because once you end up knowing where you want to arrive, the path to get there becomes very easy. No different than knowing where I needed to end up with my leg. I know I wanted full function. Wanted to be able to train. Wanted to be healthy. And so I had someone help me create the path to get there that I trusted knew more than I did. And we executed the plan. And here I sit with both legs. Officially I'm standing. It's my hope for you today that you take this and you actually apply it. Because if you apply this lesson to your life and then you follow up on the desired outcome, I can guarantee you it will force you If you apply this lesson to your life and then you follow up on the desired outcome, I can guarantee you it will force you every day to get shit done. you