Episode 103: Interview with Bryce Prescott - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 103: Interview with Bryce Prescott - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".

1970-01-01T01:36:29.000Z

Note: This transcription is split and grouped by topics and subtopics. You can navigate through the Table of Contents on the left. It's interactive. All paragraphs are timed to the original video. Click on the time (e.g., 01:53) to jump to the specific portion of the video.


Introduction

Intro (00:00)

This is Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, a podcast dedicated to helping you expand your mindset and get shit done. Be sure to subscribe to this show and leave me a review if I've been able to impact your life in any way. Reviews help me reach a higher ranking, which in turn allows the message to reach more people. It's my goal with this podcast to positively impact a million people's lives. Also, check out RyanNeidell.com for additional content. Thank you. Today's episode is an interview with Bryce Prescott. So I have with me today the world-renowned, mindset-shifting, mood-altering coach, Bryce Prescott.

Intro (00:55)

Bryce, say hello to everybody. My man, what is up? Thank you so much, Ryan, for having me on your show. I've been listening since the inception, and so it's an honor to be here. Thanks for having me man. My pleasure Bryce. I mean I've been connected with you through social media it feels like for eternity as funny as that is in social media age and I don't really know when why or how or what the mutual connection was. Maybe it was Colby Cabayas who had Meltdown in the Desert where I got to spend some time with you one-on-one or maybe it was just a happenstance. But nonetheless, here we are. And it's really an honor to have you on the show. I mean, what you're all about is phenomenal. I really appreciate that, man. Thank you. Yeah, the whole social media world is so funny, isn't it? It's this weird thing where you think you know people, and then you realize you never did. And then you think you didn't know somebody, and you realize you didn't. It's so funny it was it was great to meet you in person and there in just a couple weeks ago there and meltdown in the desert Colby's event and you know press palm and hear you speak and all that stuff though so yeah it's great to social media is great man like there's we could complain about it all we want but that would just be in in you know in spite of the benefit it's such a great connecting tool I love it absolutely so I must ask now that we're here together what was the your biggest takeaway from meltdown the desert Colby calls the meltdown moment what was yours my biggest takeaway well it there's there's several layers to that but I think that the if you combine everything it was I now understand differently the the mantra the encouragement the you know to to tell your truth to tell your story tell the truth and to to tell your story I thought that I understood that before and one of the one of the breakthroughs that I had from that event was really drilling down and telling myself the truth about things it wasn't like I was recounting some horrible crap that I had done that I was trying to convince myself I hadn't done or hadn't been horrible or whatever it was more about in the real-time moment of telling myself the truth of what my actual motivations are where am I going with this where am i where am I actually a weak piece of shit and not strong where I've been trying to convince myself that I'm actually strong? It was this real kind of deep dive into what are my motivations?


Growth And Influence In The Coaching Industry

Intro (00:00)

This is Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, a podcast dedicated to helping you expand your mindset and get shit done. Be sure to subscribe to this show and leave me a review if I've been able to impact your life in any way. Reviews help me reach a higher ranking, which in turn allows the message to reach more people. It's my goal with this podcast to positively impact a million people's lives. Also, check out RyanNeidell.com for additional content. Thank you. Today's episode is an interview with Bryce Prescott. So I have with me today the world-renowned, mindset-shifting, mood-altering coach, Bryce Prescott.


Intro (00:55)

Bryce, say hello to everybody. My man, what is up? Thank you so much, Ryan, for having me on your show. I've been listening since the inception, and so it's an honor to be here. Thanks for having me man. My pleasure Bryce. I mean I've been connected with you through social media it feels like for eternity as funny as that is in social media age and I don't really know when why or how or what the mutual connection was. Maybe it was Colby Cabayas who had Meltdown in the Desert where I got to spend some time with you one-on-one or maybe it was just a happenstance. But nonetheless, here we are. And it's really an honor to have you on the show. I mean, what you're all about is phenomenal. I really appreciate that, man. Thank you. Yeah, the whole social media world is so funny, isn't it? It's this weird thing where you think you know people, and then you realize you never did. And then you think you didn't know somebody, and you realize you didn't. It's so funny it was it was great to meet you in person and there in just a couple weeks ago there and meltdown in the desert Colby's event and you know press palm and hear you speak and all that stuff though so yeah it's great to social media is great man like there's we could complain about it all we want but that would just be in in you know in spite of the benefit it's such a great connecting tool I love it absolutely so I must ask now that we're here together what was the your biggest takeaway from meltdown the desert Colby calls the meltdown moment what was yours my biggest takeaway well it there's there's several layers to that but I think that the if you combine everything it was I now understand differently the the mantra the encouragement the you know to to tell your truth to tell your story tell the truth and to to tell your story I thought that I understood that before and one of the one of the breakthroughs that I had from that event was really drilling down and telling myself the truth about things it wasn't like I was recounting some horrible crap that I had done that I was trying to convince myself I hadn't done or hadn't been horrible or whatever it was more about in the real-time moment of telling myself the truth of what my actual motivations are where am I going with this where am i where am I actually a weak piece of shit and not strong where I've been trying to convince myself that I'm actually strong? It was this real kind of deep dive into what are my motivations?


What was the Biggest Epiphany from Meltdown? (03:01)

I did this episode of my own podcast shortly after the event where I think I was more raw and open than I've ever been publicly in a long, long time talking about, yeah, man, I get, I get bummed out when I don't get engagement on my stuff. Like if I don't get external validation, it kind of plays with my head a little bit. And like, I would never have been able to acknowledge that even a month ago because that seems petty. That seems weak, you know? And so the tell the truth thing, it was this look at myself in the mirror and being like, okay, man, well, if this is where you're at, then this is where you're at. Now you got to change it so that it serves you and supports your goals and where you're trying to go. And that was a big breakthrough for me. There was several different people there that kind of were hounding on the same thing. And I think it was a combination of those different perspectives that made me realize that it wasn't about acknowledging divorce or infidelity or drug use or any of those other things that, you know, seemed to be a plague of our entrepreneur world. It was about real time today saying, yeah, I'm actually motivated by something that really isn't that cool. I need to fix that. Yeah. What an impactful message. I mean, that's so, so profound to think, you know, we're there for what, 48 hours, maybe a little bit longer, maybe 72, but to leave with something that not only shifts your mind and your business, but then through what you do for a living, you're passing that on then to all your clients, right? I mean, this is a multifaceted epiphany that you have. So touch base, if you will, a little bit on what it is and the value that you have to the marketplace. I mean, I know what you do, but I want to make sure that everybody listening has that grasp on the magnitude of really who you are. I mean, this is incredible for me to have this time with you one-on-one. So love it. If the people that don't know who you are, you can share that a little bit.


What is Bryce Prescott? (04:51)

Sure. Well, I appreciate the, uh, the opportunity to, to segue from, from that part of the conversation of, you know, the understanding my motivations and how I've translated that into my relationships with my clients and helping my clients. One of the things that is my, I'll call it my superpowers is I understand on a very deep level how to help individuals, entrepreneurs, business owners, men and women. It's not, basically anybody that has a desire to learn. I have this gift of helping people to reprogram their inner critic that voice that pops up that most of the time 99% of the people that you meet they don't ever say oh yeah that guy's my best friend it's like that it's a negative sort of thing that brings up remembrances of the past when you failed and when you haven't hit the mark and I have learned from personal experience through study through through you know coaching being coached and coaching other people and just the whole gamut how to really twist that so that it can become your friend it can become a supportive voice that reminds you of your greater good reminds you of your greater your greater purpose and your greater passion instead of a constant reminder of what you you know consistently fuck up with how that kind of the the epiphanies from meltdown and how that shifted into what I've been doing but one of the pet peeves I've had actually about the coaching industry that's been really hard to differentiate yeah is you know it's like there's this format that exists you have to have your hero's journey tail you know you've got to have your I was a meth head that was sleeping


Coach in the Coaching Industry (06:10)

under the freeway or whatever and then you overcome it near this Phoenix that rose from the ashes and now you don't ever have any problems ever you're a hundred percent fixed you're not you're you're above human it's like you're a you know Avenger or something at this point you're just this superhuman person and that's why I'm in a leveraged position to help you become better well that's just not real life I mean even the most powerful people that I've ever met the most powerful coaches have their shit every day they got to deal with and sometimes it's from the outside it would seem petty but like it's really deep-seated stuff and so when I when I was able to look myself in the mirror and go yeah I got some motivations that are out of whack I was able then and have done this in my content in my coaching sessions be like okay look so this is an opportunity for you as well if I'm sitting in front of a client it's it's a chance to really without judgment see what makes you tick like really what makes you tick not what you think it should be or the, you know, the pretty picture that you put out word, which we all do. Even the most evolved people still have ego. So it's about really connecting with that. And something that is powerful is obviously having walked that road and even having walked it recently, it makes each step in that road easier to identify when helping somebody else to recognize where they're on the path and I'm like dude you're so close like the the epiphanies that are coming right now based off of your understanding of your motivations are gonna lead you to this this opening in your awareness and in your experience and so you know I I fully believe that you know 80% of the stuff that a coach has to teach, he has to have experienced himself. There's 20% of the stuff that we're just never going to be able to experience because we're different individuals.


Alexisiami Alexander (07:48)

I can't live your life, Ryan, you can't live mine, but I can understand things based off of education experience that can at least be helpful. So it's like, and that's helped me as well in this whole post meltdown experience is just being okay with separating the idea that a performance coach or somebody that does mindset work isn't, you know, it's not like you're a member of the clergy. It's not like, you know, if you're a nun that's, you know, talking bad or having sex or doing whatever, like that's not a good nun. Like coaches still have their shit they deal with even if they do have an incredible power of insight and awareness to help you to change and so all those things notwithstanding it's it's a it's something that I see that that is important for all of us to recognize there is no destination you will never get there it's a daily thing it's just you know swinging singles I know you've heard that before from one of your mentors, Garrett J. White. It's a powerful thing to just make it simple, man. Just break it down to the simple, simple choices and then go from there. And you'll find that's how you gain your power. Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I couldn't agree more from where I sit. And it's been incredible to watch that shift from afar in you from the way you share on social media and even just the vernacular you're using and that raw, as I call it, authentic vulnerability. I mean, for those that are listening, if you take a look at Bryce Prescott, that's P-R-E-S-C-O-T-T for the last name, B-R-Y-C-E on the front. Take a look at him on Facebook or Instagram or anywhere where you can consume his content. It's truly incredible. Go back two weeks, it was two or three weeks we were in Arizona together, and to see phenomenal quality content consistently. I mean, definitely adding value to Marketplace daily, but coming home and I literally remember that post before the podcast episode of you just airing out the stuff, you know, that just that true, you know, you shifted and that shift is impactful from someone that is spending their life making other people's lives better in you, literally every day that that's what you do to then coming home and realizing that you're able to still do that for yourself is just such a cool thing to watch from outside. Well, I appreciate that. I've noticed that with you as well. I've listened to your podcast and just your willingness to be vulnerable and open. You know, that's, it's a really interesting thing. I was joking with a friend of mine about how the coaching industry is almost like the mortgage industry was back in the mid 2000s. It's like the wild west. There's no regulation that you step in, you can make money. It's like if you're good at selling, you can do, you know, it's this weird kind of parallel between the two worlds. And at the same time, I feel that it really is a special thing to be in a position of trust with somebody where they're willing to really share what their experience is and not try to convince you that their experience is something different than what it is, but just to be vulnerable. And that post that you're referencing, if I'm thinking of the same one, it was the one where I talked about how I hated Facebook and I just kind of went off about, this is a shit network, man. Like I put in so much, don't get anything back. You know, in, in, in, in full disclosure, I actually, I took that post down about four or five days later because the thread started to become what I wanted to avoid in the first place and that was an excuse to be a victim of something instead of it being a moment where I just okay I got to get this out this is exactly how I'm feeling whether or not I'm right it doesn't matter it was it was my experience of the moment getting it out and then seeing some of the judgment coming back from different people about it and having there be the people that are, you know, the champions of it. Yeah, you do that. And the other people that were like, you're full of it, dude, like you're not seeing what it is. It was an interesting sort of exercise from because I rarely post super polarizing content. Like I'm just not that guy that really enjoys, you know, create as Russell Brunson talks about, you know, creating your enemy. Like I've, I've, I've had a real challenge in, in, in creating an enemy in my content, but with that post and some of the other stuff that's happened later, it's been interesting to kind of see that. Cause I, I hadn't, I didn't know that battlefield. I, I, I didn't, I didn't ever step into it. And now having seen that it was, it was, it was good to see the other side of it. And it's, it's tempered me in, in this interesting way as well, because I've had other posts where I've been pretty decided about my opinion. I've been pretty certain about what it is and then things will come up in the exchange on there and I'll, I'll change my mind. I'm like, oh, that was something I didn't, I didn't, it was actually beneficial. I guess I'm kind of rambling about this a little bit, but it's,'s appreciate the perspective. I do feel I'm in a different place with my content as far as being willing to be vulnerable to shed that light. My biggest fear, if I'm honest about doing that before was losing credibility in the coaching space. Like, cause it's, it is, it is something where you, you have to present a position of power to somebody, if they're going to give you their money to help them to transition into a different place in their life. And I was fearful that if I was too open about weakness, I would lose clients. And the exact opposite is actually what's happened. It's like been this kind of whirlwind of people reaching out to me and be like, dude, thank you so much. Like I'm ready. It's, it's, we always fuck it up, man. Like we think we know what's going on in our head and then we just follow our gut and it turns out it's God bless man. Yeah. It's really incredible.


Hot Seat Question (13:30)

So speaking of coaching, if someone is compelled to reach out and know more about your process and your procedure and what value add to the marketplace, where can they get ahold of you at? Um, I have a link on my website, which is Bryce Prescott.com that you can just schedule a 30 minute call with me. And, uh and that's the shortest route I mean it shows my schedule what's available what's not you could always send a message on either Facebook Messenger or you know I'm on Twitter a lot or on Instagram I've deliberately created my at this stage of my coaching business I'll say that which I've been doing this for several years and I've deliberately been one-on-one. I've had groups and things that I've done on Facebook. But my opinion is that the transformation has been easiest for my clients to achieve in a one-on-one capacity. That's just my own belief. I know others disagree with that but that's just mine. So I'm pretty available as far as if I'm not available, I'm not available. So if you reach out to me, it's not like you're gonna have to jump through a bunch of hoops to actually have a conversation with me. We'll figure out a time to make it work. Right. That's great. And it's surprising at this point. I mean, you shared with me prior to jumping on this episode that you're just at this nice transitional period where the wave of clients have graduated and you're in this fortune position to be able to take on a handful of select clients right now. If the spirit moves everybody involved in the conversation, it's just this nice window where things are lining up. That's right. Yeah. It's funny. I haven't had this sort of kind of lineup in about two years. If I'm honest, it usually is like everything kind of overlaps. I'll consistently be adding people in and they'll be kind of going through the program.


Coaching (15:04)

But for whatever reason, with different stuff that's happened with year long clients I've had and things like right now, it's like, you know, several have graduated and moved on and I've got several spots right now. So I know right now alone, I could do four people one on one without it even being an adjustment. So it is a unique spot to be in. It's kind of weird. That's wonderful. And explain, only because now I'm curious, I mean, this isn't even being an adjustment. So it is a unique spot to be in. It's kind of weird. That's wonderful. And explain, only because now I'm curious, I mean, this isn't even leading you anywhere. What is the feeling of accomplishment when someone finally graduates, when they've had enough epiphanies, they finally had the breakthroughs, you've seen the shift, their business, whatever was broken inside of them or what they feel was broken, you've helped rectify. What does that feel like? Walk me through that process of success, if you will. I know that's an arbitrary term. I don't love the word success,. What does that feel like? Walk me through that process of success, if you will. I know that's an arbitrary term. I don't love the word success, but how does that feel? That's a great point. Well, one of the first things just to lead off of what you said there is they feel empowered and willing to define their own success and to be okay with breaking a mold. We live in a culture, especially in the West, where money defines everything, where the more money you have, the more power you have. And even though that's technically a reality, let's be real, like money does equate to power in our culture. There's other things that are just as powerful that people let go of. Things like the fitness of their body, things like the connection and intimacy of their relationships, both their know their their spouses or their children or their family their immediate family their friendships so the feeling of success that happens at the end of working with me it is is a is a is a keen and deep sense of self-awareness, which includes an acceptance of how badass you are, how powerful you are to be able to accomplish whatever it is that you set your mind to. And then also a certainty that you are now equipped with the mindset, the skill sets, and the habits necessary to support a big life. One of the things that I've seen is I'll have these onboarding calls with clients and there's a process where I have them fill out this it's this exercise that I've called the starting line which basically is that if you can't know where you're going if you don't know where you're starting from and so we have this thing where it's it's you know kind of a come to Jesus moment where are you out in your fitness where are you out in your relationships your money your your purpose driven creative type of activities where you got with that and we go through and talk about that and in that process you know I asked some pretty direct questions about you know share with me your three most challenging relationships share with me your three most prized and cherished relationships why are those the way they are and what I noticed every single time is that the client that works with me that is my ideal client is ambitious, doesn't have problem getting things done, wants more out of their life, but not more because they need the extra car in the garage or that extra 2000 square foot on the house or the extra trip, but more because they realize on an inherent level, that they are destined for more in this life as a value add to the world and that for some reason they can't see across that bridge on how to get there and so when they're looking back at the end of the program they're seeing specific details on how they can now continue on with those the mindset skill sets and habits they created they can they can build that life there they now have the foundation to put a massive life of significance on top of their current habits and mindset a lot of people have very ambitious dreams but when you break down exactly what they do on a day-to-day basis they couldn't even handle an extra 10 grand a month or, or and chopping 5% off their body fat because they wouldn't know what to do if they were that person, it just would feel so awkward to them. And so they would fall back into their old ways. That's part of mine, I would say that with the inner critic work, the work on vision, the work on self awareness and self worthiness at the end of working with me, they just feel like a new person, they just feel legitimately like they've been dusted off. The person that was always there is finally able to stretch their wings. There's a hitch in their giddy up. They feel quicker in their step. Their relationships are more fluid and on point. They've got more money. Just the stuff we do on the business side alone helps them to get more money. And the proof is in the pudding. I mean it's one of the most emotional experiences for me. At the end of my program, I asked them for, you know, organic testimonials. Like just share with me. I don't want to be a part of what you're saying. Just, you know, share with me what your experience was. And to see these people, you know, get emotional about where they're at now, to feel hope for possibly the first time in decades about, oh, I can have this life that I've been dreaming about. I'm not destined to be this other person, this other version of myself bogged down by bad habits and bad choices. It's what keeps me going, Ryan. I mean, when I see the change happen in these people, it's like, that's the fuel that I use to continue what I'm doing.


Incredible (20:04)

Because coaching is hard, man. Like it's a really difficult thing. A lot of people try to glamorize it and glorify it. You get attached to people when you love them and want the best for them. And then when they let themselves down, you feel a loss there or you feel like, what could I have done better? Like it's really hard to like really have that line in the sand for accountability of like, well, that's on you. I did my part. It's a challenging thing to do. And when I see and experience the transformations through my clients, it helps me to level up too. Cause I'm like, okay, I got to practice what I got to preach what I practice and practice what I preach in order to keep this going. Yeah. It's just a beautiful thing, man. It's one of the most trying professions and rewarding all at the same time. And I wouldn't change a thing about it because watching people, you know, and again, you've heard this before. When you change one person, you change a family. And that has a ripple effect throughout, you know, communities and countries. And it's just a really, it's a really spiritual work, ironically.


The Weight (21:05)

Yeah, it's deep work. I mean, it's, it's ironic you're sharing this. I just previously recorded an episode that not sure when it'll air that goes into just the weight that I personally felt from releasing an episode about domestic violence. And it was a listener that requested that, that episode. And I didn't have any personal experience with it, but then for her to reach back out and share openly what she's going through and communicate with me and just the magnitude of how that felt on my shoulders, I can't even begin to appreciate how heavy it is as a coach for you as you're taking these people from this raw, vulnerable place. You build the trust, I'd have to assume. They do their intake form, if you will, their starting line. And they're at a spot where there's probably some hairy stuff you've encountered that you're working through that over your 12-week cycle. Absolutely, man. I mean, everything. I mean, childhood trauma, abuse, physical, sexual abuse, emotional abuse. There's been, you know, I've worked with people that have legitimately been crooks and then they've come around and they're battling this demon inside of them that allows them to see angles where they could make money dishonestly and just trying to stay out of that fray. You know, people addicted to pornography, addicted to drugs that they didn't want to talk about, you know, like, oh, I'm clean but yet you're popping, you don't have a subscription to Adderall and you're popping three of those pills a day. That's kind of an issue, bro. Like all those sorts of things. And then to feel, you know, it's a funny thing because coaching isn't therapy. It's not like I'm, you know, some trained therapist that has a bunch of initials behind my name. I have a skill set and a mindset through education on how to help to perform better. But yet there's overlaps in that. Well, if you're carrying all this baggage, this is how you kind of have to handle it. Yeah. And so it's, yeah, dude, it can get super heavy sometimes. And being somebody that, again, this is before we got started recording this, I don't fit into really any box.


Why is there so much pressure in Real Estate? (22:59)

I, I admittedly, I'm a more of an emotional creature than I probably would care to admit in that I can sense and feel things that my clients are feeling. And so I've had there be, you know, every, when I, when you look, if you were to look at my schedule, I give myself deliberately time after coaching appointments to process the energy and the emotional experiences I just went through. Because if I was just to go jumping from appointment to appointment to appointment I would be a wreck dude like there would be this there's this really interesting energetic dance that happens when I work with clients and it takes a toll like it's it really does have an effect where I've got a you know recover from it afterwards heavy stuff but that's life man like we all got our shit. Like we're not going to, if I was to choose to avoid that or to not follow the calling or the voice to do it, I would be so goddamn selfish. It wouldn't even be funny, man. It'd be like, I'm this superstar guy sitting on the sidelines. Like that's not good for humanity. So part of the whole process of this whole thing with why it's heavy is that every single person has something that is their purpose for being here is their superpower is the value add that they have for their life and the people that are tapped into that you can sense them a mile away because they're so clear and powerful and attractive and charismatic and they just have this magnetism to them. And the ones that are kind of figuring it out, you can tell, you're getting there. Like it's really is an energetic thing. And being willing to follow that voice was one of the biggest challenges that I had because, you know, I was a real estate guy for a long time. Did extremely well in real estate during the crash. I was on the right side of the crash in 2008. I was buying everything up. Then I got into agricultural commodities for a couple years. But I was just chasing money. And when I actually had to do something to make a choice that was purpose-driven and then to build a revenue model around it, it was scary, dude. And so I share all of that as a way to let you know, for you listening to this podcast, that you're not unique if you're confused about how to do it. It's, but we overcomplicate how to get out of that confusion. It just takes a little bit of blind faith sometimes. And, uh, it can be, it's going to be heavy. It's going to be worth it though. It always is when you, when, when you dig in and, you know, start tilling that soil, getting that soil vibrant again, so you can plant some new stuff in it. It's, it's fun. Yeah. I I'd have to imagine. And because you're giving me the easy segue, we now have to get, it wouldn't be 15 minutes of freedom if we didn't talk about some of the heavy stuff for you.


Levitys Heavies (25:34)

I mean, it's all well and good to talk about our business and all the stuff that we enjoy doing every day, but it's our, it's our lessons and our mistakes that got us to where we're at in this moment. And it's important for me to, to pick your brain on at least whatever comes to your mind, whatever comes out of the, out of your heart. I mean, you're obviously an incredibly in tune individual. Share a story, if you will, of, you know, your shit. you know, your shit, the thing that, that you, that's on your heart right now, that is a mistake and error and omission, something that has been bogging you down for some time and share with, uh, with, uh, with us. I want to hear it. Sure. Okay. Well, what's, what's coming up for me right now has actually been something that has been a theme the last couple of weeks for me. And the shitty part, the backstory part is I'm divorced.


Corey Tower & Hitting rock bottom (26:19)

I've been remarried now for, how long has it been, man? 14 years? It's been a while. But my first marriage ended because of infidelity on my end. And I was, I was very active in the LDS church as a religion. At that point, I was Mormon at that part of my life. So not only was I Mormon going to church and all that stuff, I have a mistress. And then my ex-wife was pregnant at the time when all this was going down so not only was i the head cheater i was a cheater on a pregnant wife and to add insult to injury on that for certain aspects i don't look at it this way anymore i used to but i ended up marrying that woman and she's the woman that she ended up being the woman of my dreams it came out that this weird sort of thing we ended up you that woman and she's the woman that she ended up being the woman of my dreams. It came out that this weird sort of thing, we ended up, you know, turning lemonade into lemons into lemonade. But the shitty part that I think we forget sometimes is I remember when all that went down, I was so wracked with guilt because of the pain that I could literally see happening to this woman that in her own ignorance, didn see it coming she wasn't looking first she had a different viewpoint of seeing things and she just she just it was blind blind sighted her and it cost her to you know really it was really hurtful for really painful for and in that I didn't want to add any I didn't I didn't want to add any, I didn't want to make the pain worse. And so I let things slide in the separation and the divorce when it came to money, when it came to custody and things just to try to not fight and to make it as easy as possible. That ended up creating a situation where I have these two daughters from a former marriage that I've quite literally had to chase around the country for the last 15 years while trying to have a relationship with them. And it reminds me of the simple thing that not all mistakes are created equal. I made a few mistakes about how to handle the beginning separation there that have affected the lives of my daughters. They need their dad around, but they don't have access to me in the same way as if they were local. I will say this though, I'm not some sort of separated father. The reason why this is so in my head right now and what popped up is, yes, question is that, you know, they live live in southern Oregon I live in Salt Lake City Utah it's an 800 mile trek to and from to get them the relationship with my former spouse is still pretty it's it's no longer as bad as it used to be but it's not warm by any means and so it's all on me to be able to get them here and back and everything and you know I just had to take them home last week they spent a month here in the summer they're gonna be coming back at the end of July nice I'm able to see him three or four times a year for extended periods of time because the way their school schedule works out and we do is the very best we can to, you know, create in an intense way. You know, the parenting situations has helped them to stay on course with their lives, to be a good example to them of love and light and support, to let them be open and free about who they are and their personalities and to, you know, to, I'm not trying to change or anything.


Concluding Thoughts And Life Experiences

Theiger (29:27)

I just want to lead them in a way that is, is, uh, leading from the front. You know, I asked, I've taught how to meditate. I've talked about, you know, declaring their truth and how to really step into that. But the shitty part of all that is, and I look back in retrospect is I still, I still deal with forgiving myself for the way it went down. Divorces happen all the time. People have irreconcilable differences, but I didn't need to do it the way that I did. I did it lazily and I did it foolishly and I caused way more damage and hurt than I needed to. And every time I see my daughters and see some of the challenges that they've had as a result of being too far away from me, it just kills me. And I don't know how to truly ever get over that. That's one of the things that I think is a, it's a harsh reality. Sometimes you make mistakes you're gonna live with for the rest of your life, even if you overcome everything else around it, that you're still gonna have to deal with that. My daughters have had periods of time where they haven't seen their dad for four or five months because of schedule for teenagers. That's a big deal. That hurts, you know, especially when their mom and I have such different ways of looking at things. And that my perspective I know makes an immediate impact in their ability to feel peace, their ability to love themselves.


Corey Towers books (30:55)

And I can try to, you know, sit here and talk people into thinking that I'm okay with that whole thing but it still hurts still hurts to have known that it was just a few decisions I could have made differently still not been married to that woman it was it had evolved past where it needed to be had a cleaner exit not had it be so ugly and so bad and had things different with the kids but it is what it is so I've come to terms with the kids, but it is what it is. So I've, I've come to terms with it. I don't make it worse anymore. Like we don't fight my ex-wife and I don't fight. We were respectful to each other that way, but it still is still hurts, man. And, uh, I can't stand over it. I try, I really try. And I, I, but it's one of those things where like, I've just had to kind of, I've had to change the situation around it so And I, I, but it's one of those things where like, I've just had to kind of, I've had to change the situation around it so that I'm not drownded by it anymore. If that makes sense. Yeah, absolutely. So would you, it just, it, it's coming to me right now and I don't know why I feel compelled to share, share it, but, but I truly believe that we're all a combination and culmination of all the experiences up to the point that you and I are communicating today. And the value that you can add to every individual client that you ever come upon is based off the fact that you went through that trauma.


Evan Dolla Stus Daniel Riveras Ryan Lisenbery Marries for Lives (32:07)

So you have this new perspective on relationships and divorce and parenting. parenting and the depth you're able to achieve now is greater from where I would sit based off of the pain that you've went through on your own divorce. Yeah, I would agree with that. See, that's one of the beautiful things, Ryan, is like intellectually, I totally agree with what you're saying. You're speaking truth to me.


Org Magazine & Subscribers (32:40)

I recognize that even when I talk to, I've had clients where I've talked to them about my stuff that are in very similar situations, but really, really early on in their separation or divorce. And that my perspective has absolutely changed and altered their opinion about how they should react because they could see a glimpse down the road that they hadn't considered. Right. I intellectually understand that. And in those those moments I emotionally connect to that but as a father it's a different thing when I when I see the effect on my kids of course you know and and I'm okay with that like I don't I don't you know I don't lose sleep over anymore it's not gonna beat myself up about it. I've even adjusted the way my inner critic is about that. I recognize that it's there. But a part of that is just acknowledging that like, yeah, that's, that's like, you know, if you're an athlete, it's like when you have like a recurring injury, and that that nagging injury just kind of, it's in your head a little bit, you know, it's like, okay, so that's kind of where I'm at with this. But one of the beautiful things that I've noticed is that you know guys are really stupid a lot of times when they do things especially when it comes to how they handle women yeah and sometimes I'm like dude like like it has given me a real interesting perspective especially for my single clients and single friends even when it's like there are some certain non-negotiables man you've got to have before you get into a relationship that's gonna be committed and if you don't have those and you're trying to convince yourself it's gonna have get out be done like it's not there's certain things that as a dude you've got a you've got to know what your language is and what you need your needs are and if you can't find a partner that's gonna acknowledge that and be cool with it move on man get a new one and that's been to acknowledge that and be cool with it. Move on, man, get a new one. And that's been a part of what happened with my divorce. I got married. I served an LDS mission.


What happened to you & What is your current relationship with God? (34:06)

I met this woman. She was a woman missionary as well in the mission I was at. She came home before I did. We started corresponding. I got home and I got married in five weeks to a woman I had never romantically been involved with before I came home. So I come home from this full time like church service environment to being engaged and then married five weeks later. And then two weeks later as a full time college student. Like what the fuck was I thinking, dude? But Bryce, I mean, admittedly, for those of for those listeners, for you guys that don't necessarily aren't familiar with the lds culture community lifestyle many of my friends are in the salt lake city area many of them you know were lds or rlds in their own capacity that story is not out of left field i mean i think you could drive up and down the corridor there and you know go to the the point of the mountain and ask, you know, hold up a sign and honk once if, if you got married right after a mission. And I think the majority of people will be honking on the highway. Like it's a normal story for you. Oh, it's, it's absolutely part of the normal culture here. It's one of those things where it's like, when you believe a truth, that's not real. And then you wonder why it doesn't end up manifesting itself as truth. You scratch your head. Like these, the, the the the culture here is really unique that way and they think that you know by making a spiritual decision quote-unquote for who your partner should be that it's gonna work itself out it's like okay well maybe maybe not but the reality is that marriage is only work when you can communicate when you understand the sexual dynamic and most Mormons they don't have sex before they get married. So that's just a whole other ball of wax when it comes to trying to figure out how to be compatible in that regard. Then, you know, differences on money, like when a major religion has such a big influence, you know, and this isn't specific just to Mormons, but a lot of religions have a, you know, they look at money like it's a negative thing, like that money itself is, you know, the root of all evil. You know, there's the scripture that says that, you know, a rich man to get into heaven, it's easier for a camel to get through the eye of a needle. Like there's all this different sort of ingrained subconscious training about how to approach wealth. Well, when you bring two people together early on in their lives before, you know, earlier than 25 years old and you've got all this stuff that takes a lot of work to work through, there's no reason there's, there's, you can see every reason why most of these marriages have challenges at best and at worst they fail. So you know, there, there, there's really no secret sauce other than, you know, get to know your partner beforehand. Make sure you guys have the same goals and dreams. Make sure you understand each other's beliefs about the fringe things not like just religious beliefs I'm talking about what you believe about money is it cool if I'm a billionaire we cool like you like different things that you would never think to talk about but yeah that's that's interesting you know you've got a lot of connection here in Utah point of the mountain that that that's a reference that nobody that would get unless they've been here so get on you man yeah so when I own my web hosting company or was affiliate manager then mountain. That's a reference that nobody would get unless they'd been here. So get on you, man.


Final Takeaways From This Interview (37:14)

Yeah. So when I owned my web hosting company or was affiliate manager, then took over as owner, president, CEO, whatever you want to call it, most of the call centers we dealt with, a lot of the affiliate marketers are up and down the greater Salt Lake area. Sandy, Lehigh, Orem, all the fun spots. Everything that closes by 930. It's beautiful. I actually like it. I love it out there. It's beautiful. I actually like it. I love it out there. It's beautiful for, for those of you that haven't had a chance to make it out of Salt Lake city. To me, it's just one of the most breathtaking scenic cities, you know, to make it up to park city and see all that. And just the mountains on both sides, it's really a phenomenal place that you're able to call home. Yeah, absolutely. I, I, yeah. Thank you for bringing that up, Ryan.


Virtual Takeaways And Decision Making

Comments (38:06)

Cause notwithstanding some of the challenges of the, the societal stuff here, like Salt Lake's a great place to live. It's a great place to raise a family. The weather's beautiful. I'm, I'm 22 minutes from my driveway to the tram at Snowbird for skiing. I've had a season's pass for a while. Like it's, it's, if you love getting outdoors and you look at church, when you, if you think of the mountains as your church, this place is full of them, man. So it's a great place to live. And, and there's, there's a lot of kind of, there's been a lot of enlightenment too, that's happened with, with the, with outside of some of the, the cultural stuff here, that's making it to where that's a lot more diverse. There's a lot more diversity of thought here than they used to be yeah some of my best friends that I've met you know we're just great people have nothing to do with anything related to the church they're just great people that live here and enjoy what we're doing here so yeah it's not a bad place like please you know don't interpret that me saying you know just because you're 19 I'm gonna be tempted to get married as a chick it's a bad place to live so so with all that being said I need to wrap this up and put a bow on it. When we go back to that painful lesson of during the divorce, you not fighting for additional custody of your children, it sounds like, based off the fact of probably some shame and some guilt that you were experiencing during that moment in time, because you, although weren't the catalyst for it, it sounds like it needed to happen no matter what, but didn't do it in the way you would have done it in hindsight. What would you gleam as the one lesson that we can wrap up for how someone could apply that to their body, to their relationship and to their business? I believe that one of the biggest challenges that I've experienced in my life and I see it all over the place is people forget that even when you think you're playing the short game you're not life is a long game endeavor and if you can have the perspective that the decision that you're making now and you can walk it down the line to see where it's going to end up. I think I really believe that there'd be a lot less trauma in the lives of the people that we meet because the decisions that we make that we don't like are short sighted decisions.


Lessons Learned Online (40:01)

We're not seeing past what the immediate return is. Even, you know, something as simple as infidelity. You're, you don't look, you don't see it past the point to where you're bored with the woman and next thing you know you got to come to terms with either what's going on with your current spouse and they're like all that you don't see that you see what you're big old boner wanting to get its freaking rocks off and that's about it like you're so people need to think through that but yet allow their emotions to be a part of that. Like people are scared to feel, I call it pre-shame. It's like if you can think of a decision that's going to mess with you and feel the shame of what that decision is going to do for you if you fuck it up before you make the decision, that's one of the biggest blessings you can have because it keeps you in line with doing what serves you best and will keep you out of trouble. It's not rocket science, man. We overcomplicate this a lot. It's very, very simple. So with that being said... Long game.


Decision Making, General, (41:13)

Play the long game, man. Be willing to see every decision as a long game, even when you can't see it as a long game. Yeah. So maybe you as a listener right now, in your relationship, you're going through the same thing that Bryce is going through, that you're about to go through a divorce and you're unsure how to handle and wrap up that situation.


Final Thoughts

Youll Find It Becomes Simple (41:20)

And you're thinking short term because you just want it over or you're pissed off at your spouse. So maybe you just want to grind in and grit your teeth and really hold on to every last thing and make it miserable. That's the short game. The long game is if you have children together, you have an infinite amount of time we're going to have to correspond with that person. So think about that message a little bit differently. Really wrap your head all the way around it. Or maybe you need to transfer over to your body. Maybe the short game is like mine used to be. Maybe you're thinking anabolic steroids are the way to go because you're tired of being the skinny guy, or you're tired of being the fat person, and you want to take the shortcut and the quick route there. But the long-term ramifications of that can be massive. Heart attacks, impotence, messed up systems. I mean, there's a whole gamut of things there. Or maybe it's in your business, like Bryce touched base on. Maybe it's the fact that you know there's a shortcut that can put some cash in your pocket right now, but ethically and morally, it doesn't line up with who the best version of yourself is. So before you take that decision, think about the long-term antithesis of what could happen if you made that decision. And if you're able to put yourself in that mindset and really think long game versus short game, you'll find that every day, you're able to get shit done.


Great! You’ve successfully signed up.

Welcome back! You've successfully signed in.

You've successfully subscribed to Wisdom In a Nutshell.

Success! Check your email for magic link to sign-in.

Success! Your billing info has been updated.

Your billing was not updated.