Episode 117: Interview with Bradley Callow - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription
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This is Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily podcast driven to make your life better in every capacity possible. If you do me a favor today, if you find value in today's episode, jump on wherever you're listening and leave me a review, a comment, anything you can do to share value back with me. Be greatly appreciated. Today, I have a phenomenal guest on the show, somebody that we clicked right away when I was at Colby Cabayas' Meltdown in the Desert. And we'll get into the whole story, but his name's Bradley Callow. Bradley, say hello to everybody. Hey, how's everybody doing? Excited to be here. Excited to see how far Ryan's come in this podcast in such a short amount of time. That is nothing short of, it's got to be some sort of world record, but we'll come back to that. Yeah. And I appreciate that. It's you, the listener that have propelled it to this level. I mean, last month, Bradley, we hit 380,000 unique downloads. So for just that month, I'm just about at 800,000 since I launched uniques so across 210 countries like it's all over the place it's really crazy what's happened just by sharing our truth really I mean and that's we'll just dive right into this that's how I met Bradley so Bradley and I were both in attendance at the meltdown in the desert on an event in Phoenix slash Scottsdale Arizona Arizona. I admittedly hadn't seen Bradley once over this two-day event. I didn't consciously recognize or pick him out of the crowd. Not that I shouldn't have, but you're there and I had a little speaking part from stage and there was some scuttle around some different events. I really just didn't connect with him. As the final part of the event wound down and there was a, I hate to use the term VIP because that just sounds so cheesy to me, but there was, there was a pool party for people that were friends of, you know, Colby that put on, put on the meltdown. And so, yeah, here, here we are at what the W in Scottsdale. It's hot as can be for those of you that haven't been to Scottsdale in July, it's a hundred plus degrees. And whoever says dry heat is not hot is definitely not from Ohio because I was freaking burning, like just sweating, just literally walking around the pool. Get to the pool. I'm on borrowed time because I have another meeting in, oh gosh, doesn't even matter where. But knew I had to take off pretty quickly but wanted to go make an appearance. As soon as I get there, the guys I'm with, my wife, Lindsay, we drop our bags. And Bradley's the first person I meet. Again, we're underneath this cabana, and I'm taking off my shirt to sit by the pool or whatever it was, and we just hit it off. It was like, Bradley, I think you actually opened up the conversation. I don't think it was me. I would love to take credit for it, but I'm pretty sure it was you that introduced yourself or said something to me as an opener? I believe I mentioned something about the authenticity of your speaking because as a professional speaker, I'm always looking to refine my own craft and just recognizing gifts in other people. I think that's how the conversation started. In fact, I'm almost positive. Either that or you had your shirt off and I just wanted to talk to you because you took your shirt off. I'm pretty sure that's not the case. Whatever it is, I'll take it. Otherwise it would be an awkward conversation with my wife. It would have been. So Bradley owns a company called Rich Legacy that not only does Bradley do public speaking literally all over the world at this point, it dresses large crowds and gets them to have some massive impactful shifts in their lives. But Bradley also owns and runs an organization that specializes in basically father-son retreats. Is that right, Bradley? That's part of it. So Rich Legacy as a whole, we're all about helping high-performing families empower their kids. That typically is entrepreneurs or executives. And in doing so, we're really just helping them being as intentional with their family as they are with their business. So they all have business plans and elaborate cultures and bringing all these consultants and goal setting and standard operating procedures and all these things because they want to ensure they hit their goals.
Understanding Personal Struggles And Development
Setting goals and standards for our families (03:50)
But then when I ask them even what their goals are for their family, much less how they're going to achieve them, most of them look at me like I'm crazy. And so it's helping them get clear on what are those goals and then how they're going to achieve them as a family. And simultaneously, the byproduct of that is keeping them away from self-destructive behaviors because that's the road that I went down despite coming from a really good family. Yeah. And talk about impactful. And that was one of the things. So as Bradley had his opener with me, I was the last speaker on the last day of Meltdown in the Desert. My speech was about authentic vulnerability. I'm pretty sure I've covered that in a previous show. Bradley opens to me with that, ask a few questions, whatever they were, and then we dive pretty deep down the rabbit hole with you opening up right away this war chest of your life. And I say war chest, I mean, we're all formed, in my opinion, and forged from the things that have happened in our lives up to this point. And you have some of the most incredible stories, events that have formed you into today. Would you mind sharing some of those with us? that have formed you into today. Would you mind sharing some of those with us? So it's all about perspective because to me, I look at my stories and feel like, wow, you know, I've gone through so little in comparison to so many people that I've met. But it is my journey. And I do think our pain is our power. I really see that the most beautiful people that I know and the most creative people and the people that give the most back to the world are those that have really experienced pain in some sort of significant way and use that pain as energy to bring something positive to the world so as far as my particular journey I grew up in one of the wealthiest counties in the country had really good parents that were present in my life. You know my dad was was an entrepreneur and and had a growing accounting practice that they got to be pretty substantial in size.
What Got You Into Doing Drugs (05:37)
My mom was a former special ed teacher and ended up being a stay-at-home mom to raise my older brother and I and and despite their, their best intentions, I started using drugs at 11 years old. And it makes me sad still. And, you know, I've shared this a lot of times, but sometimes it just strikes me in a different way because I work with families and I work with kids and we just had these father son retreats into a couple of weeks ago in park city. And to think about an 11-year-old, right, to think and look at an 11-year-old and to think that I was in such a place of pain, such a desire to change the way I felt at such a young age is just really sad to me, especially given, again, the circumstances that I came from. And so my journey got darker over the years and the drugs that I was doing got worse and my willingness to sell drugs didn't come long after I started doing drugs because I'm an entrepreneur with every fiber of my being. So I started selling drugs at 11 just at the same time that I started doing drugs. Now granted the market size is not very big at 11 years old but that too grew as my drug use evolved and my self-destructive behaviors and you know by 16 I had a sawed-off shotgun in my trunk. It was ugly, it was darkness but on the surface in many ways I was able to keep up a pretty good front and made it to college, was suspended from college and arrested for felony distribution within just a month of being there. And unfortunately, within three weeks of turning 18, bad timing for me. So started started my young adult life off as a felon. Thankfully, I was able to go back to college and finish and then got out. And within two years, found myself on my knees with a gun to my own head in a Los Angeles apartment. And I still don't know to this day why I didn't take my own life. And I wish I had some, oh, wow, epiphany and, oh, it happened. It didn't happen because, you know, I was meant to bring this message to the world and all this other kind of cliche stuff that you hear, but I really have no idea. It is amazing to me to this day that i did not kill myself that afternoon and from there i wish i could say that that was my rock bottom and i decided to turn my life around but uh things got got worse before they got better i attempted to sign myself into a rehab and i've been on ritalin since i was eight years old and they took me off cold turkey I was 26 at the time that I signed myself into rehab and and my brain just short-circuited my brain did not know how to operate without those chemicals in it and I was homicidal I was suicidal I was just nuts but I kept it all all very much inside and ended up deciding my new life plan would be to rob drug dealers and not long after was arrested for shooting a gun out the window in Baltimore City, Maryland. And thankfully, my old felony had been pardoned and expunged after so many years. Otherwise, I would have definitely done prison time, and the judge saw fit for me to have another chance. And I went and spent about a year in rehab programs. The first one was a wilderness program. and spend about a year in rehab programs. The first one was a wilderness program. I spent three months in Colorado, Utah, desert, and woods. And the single best thing I've ever done in my life, and I think every human being alive should do it, regardless of what you're struggling with, but that's where I found meditation in a more meaningful way. And that, I believe, is the biggest catalyst for positive change. And so I didn't want to start helping people instead of hurting people and now within the last two years of starting Rich Legacy almost by accident I've worked with royal families in the Middle East I've worked with fortune 10 executives I've worked with you know Inc 50 founders and I'm just pinching myself every day because I can't believe it I should be dead And here I am helping and bettering the world through my pain, right? Helping others from my place of pain and experience. Yeah, man. That's just every time you tell that story. And obviously this is only the second time. I'll maybe even say the third time that I've heard it. There's just so many questions that rush through my head. Like when you're talking about selling drugs, I've never sold drugs. I've openly taken steroids before in my life. I no longer take steroids, but what sort of, when you say you were selling drugs, is that a thousand dollar a week thing?
How was your High School Running Drugs (10:08)
Is that a $10,000 a week thing? Not necessarily gross profit. Cause again, we're entrepreneurs and a lot of the people that listen to this are entrepreneurs, but what's the size of an operation that a 16 to 20 year old, you know, 16 to 18 yearold man is running. What does that look like? For me, it wasn't anything too excessive because I was so busy using them as well. I don't know if you'll hear this or not. They call them the 10 Crack Commandments, which is a biggie song. But, yeah, it's never get high on your own supply. I'm sure people have heard that before. And I was really bad at that one. And I was really good at giving drugs out to all my friends because I just wanted to party all the time. So in terms of, you know, building a true empire, you know, it wasn't all that crazy. But, you know, at most I'd get a couple hundred ecstasy pills at a time or you know a couple pounds of weed at a time and then i would front that out to people within my little crew that would then go sell it and you know bring the money back to me and keep keep some of the profits for themselves and yeah yeah it was you know a lot of it was like this tough guy fantasy type playing out too uh because i was i was not good at sports when I was, when I was little, I wasn't coordinated. I couldn't catch a ball, ball to save my life. I, you know, I threw like a girl, which, you know, these days doesn't mean anything, but at the time that was, that was like the running joke. And, and yet I've always been this like alpha male type, you know, alpha energy and I didn't have a way to express that. So I would fight and be a pain in the ass and, and, you know alpha energy and I didn't have a way to express that so I would fight and be a pain in the ass and and you know sell drugs and do all these things to express my masculinity because I couldn't do it through sports and then eventually I got coordinated but by then everyone else had been playing sports for so long it didn't matter anymore and I was way behind the curve so I was like what are the rules for this game I don't know how this works so uh so yeah that's uh that didn't help at all in terms of of the desire to do some of those darker things but um yeah it's uh it's been a journey that's for sure yeah and and only because i feel like this is it's open season with you and i especially with how open you are with sharing this having this is the first time i've had the opportunity to speak to somebody that I'll say is a attempted suicide survivor, you know, and, and, and however attempted to me, when you get to the point in your life that you have a gun in your hand with the intention in your mind of ending your life, whether you pull the trigger or not, the intentions there, like to me, you're a, you're a suicide survivor at this point.
I'll just, and that's just my own personal viewpoint. suicide survivor at this point. I'll just, and that's just my own personal viewpoint. Will you walk me through or walk us through what gets you to that point? And then obviously divine intervention, whatever the higher purposes that I would say that you and I believe in, especially you brought up meditation. That's something I do every day, have for a long time, but there's something that clicks that has you not pull that trigger. You know, and can you walk us through that, you know, that day, if you will, at the high level? I can't really. I've been doing cocaine for probably three, four days straight. I've been drinking the whole time. I don't know, had two and a half, maybe three handles of vodka in that same time frame. And so I'm just kind of floating in some weird esoteric headspace. But I can tell you the looming voice that got me there and it's been with me my whole life and a thing that I work with a lot of the families that I work with you know especially the the tends to be more the father figures is my dad's way of showing me love was to always show me the quote-unquote right way to do things he's's a very analytical, precise accountant, right? And I've become more that way through my experiences with him and just through evolution. But by nature, I'm very impulsive and creative and an ADHD kid and all over the place. And so in his effort to show me love, again, coming from a positive place, it positive place it was oh you know what is this thing that you just did and how could you have done it better but it wasn't as much a question versus just like you did it wrong so you know I'm I'm washing dishes at five years old right now I'm super excited and these bubbles are flying everywhere and I'm standing on my little wooden stool so I can even reach up in the sink, right? And I'm just having a good old time, and I'm all excited and proud of what I'm doing and contributing to the family. And my dad comes into the kitchen and he says, oh, that's great. That's awesome. But just so you know, it's the friction of the brush that gets the food off the plate. Using hot water and running the water on full blast is just wasting energy and electricity and ultimately money. So you can just imagine how defeating that is for a five-year-old. That pattern just continued. Again, not from an ill place, right? This was like, hey, I'm going to teach my son how to do things the right way and the most efficient way and the most effective way, and as a result, he'll be great, right? His life will be easier as a result of that. And instead, it completely destroyed me, right? It was like anything I did never felt good enough. I always felt stupid and less than. And I battled that my whole life. And finally, through years of treatment and self-discovery and meditation through years of treatment and self-discovery and meditation and success where I can hang my hat on, well, if these things I'm saying to myself are true, well, then I wouldn't have been able to achieve X, Y, or Z, right? And that voice is just the most toxic thing I've seen in a lot of people's lives. It's just this, you're not good enough. You're not good enough because shame, shame is I'm a bad person. Guilt is I did a bad thing. And that shame is like, I'm not good enough. I'm not a good person because I didn't do this thing right. It's number one, it's bullshit. But number two, it's incredibly defeating and painful, right? And it just destroys people's lives. You look at anyone with real self destructive behaviors, I can almost guarantee that's part of their internal dialogue.
Pattern Interrupt - Accepting Trauma (16:28)
Oh, absolutely. I mean, that's one of the things that we cover. I mean, I'm very open about it. I'm part of an entrepreneurial group called Wake Up Warrior by Garrett J. White. And that's one of the things that we dive into so intensely to start with, with every experiences, we call it the shilt, the shame and the guilt that we all carry around and the weight that that, you know, perceivably puts on our shoulder and adversely affects our psyche. And, you know, even, you know, successful entrepreneurs, producers, anything you want to call them, we all have this thing that then mask with the fact that we've been taught by our generation of fathers to not show emotion, not have outlets, not know how to really process through these thoughts because you're not supposed to like being a man from my dad went, don't cry, don't show emotion, stand tall, keep a stiff upper lip. Like that's what being a man was passed down to me as. And again, just like you're sharing Bradley, not that my dad was a bad guy at all, but that was what his dad taught him. And so until there's something like you're doing this massive pattern interrupt that can start breaking down the trail of tears, I'll call it, that's happened generation over generation. Like that there's not a pattern interrupt for most guys. Most, even now today, if you haven't listened to my show or you're not of that mindset to expand and look for more, I would say the majority of the men in the, that you or I would know that don't think this way, think the polar opposite where they still don't show emotion where, you know, there's this fear of not being considered a man if, if they agree or understand or accept the fact they have shame and guilt. It's really a vicious cycle.
Shame and Guilt (17:40)
That's that when you, you're smiling. I mean, obviously you guys listening, you can't see it, but he's smiling because it's when you start to adopt and adapt life this way, you start to see all the people like, man, if you guys would just take a day and figure out why these things are happening, you don't have to live that way anymore. Like it's a really messy way to live life. That is, it is a messy way to live life. And, and, and, and, you know, I, I try and teach kids meditation. I don't try. I do. Um, in part of the work that I do. And I explain it to them and sometimes even to parents that are anti-woo-woo who still think meditation is woo-woo for whatever reason. I don't quite understand that one. But I explain it to them as, look, meditation is mind control. Like you kids want to have a superpower? I will give you a superpower. It's called mind control. If you can control your mind, to have a superpower, I will give you a superpower. It's called mind control. If you can control your mind, you have a superpower, right? To go from the participant in your thoughts to the observer is the most powerful place to be.
The power of separating the self and the thoughts. (18:50)
Because instead of, oh, I'm angry and not even being able to articulate I'm angry, it's just overwhelmed by anger. It owns you to a place of, huh, that's interesting. I'm angry right now. That slight gap in experience, that slight pause, that place of reflection is life changing. It is absolutely life changing. It's like, it's like driving. I used to have horrible road rage and you know, that's on the spectrum. I'd get really angry and pissed off and you know, scream and yell or flick people off or whatever, just stupid stuff. And then all of a sudden I had this epiphany of all places when living in Los Angeles, which is not a place you think you'd have a shift in your affection or affinity for traffic. But it is possible, I assure you. And it was this. It was I'm getting mad at this person who just did so let's say they cut me off I've either done that before or I'll do it eventually on purpose or by accident mm-hmm oh I'm yelling at myself right I've either done this before I'll do it eventually on purpose or by accident and it completely shifted my mindset. I don't get angry at other drivers anymore. Maybe first split the second, but it doesn't own me. Then I just go, huh, that's interesting. I'm yelling at myself. Why am I yelling at myself? That's mind control. That's power. Oh, absolutely. That's power. That thing doesn't own you anymore. You own it. Game over. Bring it on, life. What do you got? You can't beat me. It's impossible. Yeah. And I believe in the law of conservation of energy and some sort of permutation. So what that would say, does matter, can't be created or destroyed. It just changes hands, essentially. So I always look at it as that road rage or that anger boils up inside of me as I'm going to emit that into the universe, well, there has to be that same feedback loop that has to come back in some ultimate capacity. And it might not be in that moment, but it's going to come back around at some point. And it's completely unnecessary. Like you said, it's that mental shift of knowing that thoughts do become things, I believe, when you focus on them enough. I mean, it's how I live my life and That thought of anger and frustration Then takes you down this whole rabbit hole that you have complete control over like you're like you said through meditation I'm in control of my thoughts not vice versa. I'm an active, you know spectator not just a participant I can switch in and out of those zones which you it's such an eloquent way for you to put what meditation really is because it's That's one of the questions I get asked most frequently on the show is, well, how do you meditate? Well, I truly don't believe there's a right or wrong way. It starts with quieting your mind and being able to feel some sort of center and then I've expanded and increased my capacity above and beyond that. What would you say, if I'm asking you right now, Bradley, what is meditation? How do you meditate? What do you start somebody down that path? At first, depending on the age, I will go through the mind control thing because you've got to sell it a little bit. Some people aren't even at the point. It's meeting people where they are, right?
Meditation can be difficult (21:59)
But if somebody's interested in meditation, I'm very careful to explain and get clear on expectations just like in in marketing copy right you've got to address the objections within the context of the copy right so they don't even have those questions you've addressed them so bam bam bam yes becomes a natural part of the equation, right? And with meditation, it's, oh, I've tried that. I'm too ADHD or, you know, I can't turn my mind off. Like, it's not for me. That's a joke. I can't do that. The number of times, Brian, I've been meditating off and on for over 10 years. The number of times I've actually turned my mind off, turned my thoughts off, and had complete silence, 5 to 10 maybe. Maybe. Maybe. And maybe some people have different experiences than that. But most people I talk, I mean, what about you? Is that a common occurrence for you in your meditation? So it's, I'm going to buck the system here a little bit. It started to become. So I went through this whole evolution of thinking it wasn't for me, wasn't able to quiet down my mind, use something called a Muse, M-U-S-E, to help monitor my brainwaves because I'm analytical, so I could see at least that I was becoming more calm. Then got tied into, you know, the binary signaling and what that looks like, mirroring up the left and right hemisphere of your brain through audio signaling, found something called brain.fm to pump sound into my head so I could essentially have the two hemispheres of my brain aligned for the first time, which is, from my research and a little bit that I know, essentially induces a theta state through meditation. And that theta state is that disconnected state. And so once I was able to be forced to experience that, it's been much easier on an ongoing practice to choose when I'm able to experience that. If I leave my phone on the side and I don't answer emails and I don't look at Instagram or Facebook and I just dive into meditation, I can get there pretty quickly, which I would call almost transcension. Like I don't feel like I'm in my body anymore. I'm in a dreamlike state, but I'm still awake. It's a fun place to be. I can't say it's 100% of the time, but sure. I guess in saying that, does that mean my mind is off or on at that point? Because I'm not in control of those thoughts anymore. I'm just kind of drifting. Yeah, I feel like there's different levels to it. So I would say that's like in between and then beyond that is is true silence where you can go to a place where you can even turn off that dream state um which for the sake of this conversation is a is a i don't know that it's fruitful for your listeners especially if they're just exploring meditation but more the uh the expectation right because if somebody who doesn't have the right expectation even experiences that more dreamlike state that you're referring to, they would consider that not successful because they think they're still having these thoughts, right? But on the lower end of that, at the initial pass, it's the inability to turn the thoughts off, right? And so most people believe that if I don't turn my thoughts off, I'm not successful at meditation. And that's just not true because you're training that muscle in your brain to be the observer versus the participant. So to even sit and be present, truly present to the thoughts that are occurring is huge. It's life changing. And once people start to understand that and they change their expectation that I'm supposed to sit there and go home and not have a single thought in my head. And then when that doesn't happen, I quit or I give up because I'm not doing it right. I'm not good at this, which is bullshit. Then they allow themselves to continue to have these experiences and grow through it. And then they might be able to achieve that dream state. And then they might be able to achieve this complete quieting of the mind, right? But that's like, oh uh you know i want to i want to have a i want to play baseball right oh i've played three games and i don't have a you know 300 batting average i quit right oh it doesn't make any sense it doesn't it's just an easy thing because it's not easy it's uncomfortable right there aren't those tangible wins that you get with a lot of practices, which is why I think a lot of people give up on it. That's why I like things like Muse.
Simplify Each Day to Accomplish Your Goal (26:27)
That's a great example where you do have something more tangible, but just spending five minutes to be present in this day and age, especially it's huge. I mean, people don't even go to the bathroom without taking their phone with them, right? it's huge. I mean, people don't even go to the bathroom without taking their phone with them. Right. You don't have five minutes in your day to just go, where am I? You're like, what is going on? How, how am I, am I centered emotionally? How does my physical body feel? Do you look at the posture thing that's going on with everybody who's, you know, on their phone and on their computers? And this is something I've struggled with a lot over the years and just realizing that when you're so there's such a lack of presence you don't even realize that you're literally walking around like a hobbit because you haven't been present to your body and aware of where you even are you're basically brown out right was they say when you even are. You're basically brown out, right? What's they say when you drink, right? But you're kind of blacked out, but not really. We're essentially going through life with a brown out all the time. Absolutely. And then going for the blackout on the weekends to seal the deal. It's, I mean, it's crazy. So that brings up just another question. I found now that if I can take 12, 14, 24 hours and disconnect from electronics, and it's tough in the social media age. I mean, obviously I grow my listenership. I grow my presence online by using Instagram, Facebook, Twitter. I mean, everything that all of us use, that's part of my business. That's part of my life. But I found like this past week, I had two forced days when I was out in Laguna Beach where when we go to wake up warrior event, there's no phones. Like it's phones. It's not up for negotiation. The technology is gone, and it's gone from 6 in the morning until at least 10 at night. That reset button is so powerful for me. Like you said, it forces that amount of true presence and being aware and being thankful and appreciative and all the great levels of gratitude that can exist when there's not those distractions. What's your thought on that? How often are you able to disconnect from technology, social media? Is it something you focus on that it's part of your weekly practice? Is it when it happens? What's your thought on that? It waxes and wanes.
Create a Healthy Human (28:39)
It's definitely an evolving and changing thing. I'm always careful to tell people i'm not one of those you know i do the exact same thing every day i have been for the last five years and i will continue to do those exact same things they're certainly staples in what i do but in my own life trying to attach to that perfection while it's good for something to aspire to. For me, because I am so critical of myself, if I attach too much to that, it gets worse rather than better. So if I miss a day, if I'm being too militant about it, then I beat myself up over it and then I'm more likely to miss more days. Whereas if I'm gentle and have grace with myself and I miss a day, it's like, okay, well, I'll just do it tomorrow. So that mindset is important for me. Just to preface this, I've done periods in my life where I would do, you know, screen-free Sundays, right? Where I would do no technology for a whole day. I don't do that currently. Right now, I cut off all electronics at nine o'clock is my cutoff. 9 p.m., all screens are off, and I usually go to bed around 11, so it gives me a solid two hours to decompress and be present. I try not to check my email or my phone, period, before I get up and run and meditate to start my day and do a little journaling, but that's just not always the way it happens. Some of that's lack of discipline on a particular morning and some of it's because i have overseas clients and i you know never know what comes through in the middle of the night that i've gotta be present to first thing in the morning but i don't know if that's true or not either right is it really that important do i really need to be present to those things you know that's that's a different conversation but yeah it's it's definitely something important and the more studies they do that show how technology mirrors drugs in our brain you know when i see a two-year-old with an ipad understanding that the video games on on a lot of these systems are literally creating the same response in the brain as cocaine is frightening to me because it's an external way of soothing. And so they don't learn how to self-soothe because they're constantly looking outside of themselves to soothe. Well most of us aren't exposed to that kind of dopamine rush until we find sex or drinking or drugs or later in our teens. And now we're introducing it at two years old. Wow, we're playing with fire there.
Morning Rituals (31:07)
Oh, absolutely. And it's refreshing to me, interesting as well. You're the third, fourth, fifth guest I've had on the show that has covered the same type of morning ritual. It seems like the most successful people I know all have some sort of ritual where they try to stay off technology. They meditate. They work up a sweat in the morning. They really take, whether it's 20 minutes or two hours, they take this time block for themselves, almost unapologetically. Like, that's your time to do the things that I call putting yourself in personal power. Like, you're doing things to make yourself feel good before the world starts beating at your front door. And I found for me, it works best when the sun's not quite up yet. I think the birds chirping and the energy of, of the world. I like it when it's dark a little bit, you know, there's a different vibration and frequency to the world at that point. And once, once all that stuff starts coming, I just get a little more tense. Like I'm ready for the day to start. I just, I love the fact of hearing it without any sort of like, I didn't set you up for that, but it sounds like that's give or take your morning ritual. Like you said, meditation, running, probably eating something, putting a little healthy fuel in your body, journaling, you cover journaling. Like that's success leaves clues. And as cheesy as that sounds, like you are obviously very successful in your craft and your industry and you have an immense amount of passion and fortitude for what you do. obviously very successful in your craft and your industry and you have an immense amount of passion and fortitude for what you do. And you do these things that are, they don't cost any money. These aren't expensive things that you're doing. It takes time and time has value, but your life is a product and a combination and culmination of all the events and things that you put forth every day. I just, I love the fact that you shared that unapologetically and without being primed. Like if I could impress anybody that's listening right now to do something to make a shift in your life, get up an hour earlier and do all the shit we just said. Like, that's it. Like you do that, that you'll start this whole speed rush of things that come and your life will start to change. If you can stick to it, as I call it, outlasting the suck, there's a part where you're going to not want to wake up like a Saturday morning when it's a, you know, you just don't want to wake up Saturday morning. It's because your program that Saturdays matter. Like society has told us that Saturdays should be different. But in my opinion, we created the confines of time. We created the calendar. So Saturday is nothing more than a thing that we created to monitor and track one another, like almost like a pissing match. Well, if you look at Saturdays like every other day and you just got up and did the work, Saturdays count like weekends count. And again, I'm on a high horse right now and on a tangent, but it always pisses me off. I'm like, yeah, I did it five days in a row, but the weekend I slacked off. What the fuck do you mean you slacked off on the weekend? Like we created the weekend. Like why is it the Monday through Friday is the only time you, not you, obviously Bradley, you're, you're dedicated and committed to your own process, but why you think that the weekends are a time to operate differently. Sure, if you want to sleep in a little bit because your body needs a recharge, I get that. But then you should still start your day in that same mindset and methodology of doing the things that you know make you feel better, at least in my opinion. Again, I digress. I'm hijacking the interview and taking us in a whole tangent direction. I just, I can't help it. No, it's, it's, it's important. I will say that there's different tools for, for different parts of the journey, right? It's like, uh, hiking a mountain that has evolving conditions right maybe at the base there is no snow or ice but as you get higher and higher it requires different tools and gear in order to be effective or successful or to you know to reach that next level and and i think for people just starting in in that kind of personal development mind shift i I would say the concept of a quote unquote cheat day has been powerful for me when I first started because it lets a little pressure out of the valve, right? So like Tim Ferriss, I'm a huge fan of and one of the things I took from him, I did the low carb diet at some point.
How to stick with healthy habits while still enjoying special occasions. (34:25)
I can't remember when it was. I've done it multiple times. His concept is a cheat day. You eat perfect, basically, for six days. You have a perfect breakfast to create that baseline. Then you have a cheat day. You can eat whatever you want. You can eat a case of Twinkies and 10 pizzas. Literally, your goal is to throw off your metabolism and shock your system and all this kind of stuff and to give you that pressure release but at first that was valuable and it allowed me to stick with something much long eating perfect much longer than i ever had before but then over time it evolved to well then i just wanted maybe i'll have a cheat day but i'm not going to eat a you know three tubs of Ben and Jerry's I'll have one tub of Ben and Jerry's and then it evolved from there to well I'm not even going to have a cheat day I'm going to have a cheat meal and then it was well my cheat meal doesn't have to be so crazy and so like those tools changed as I became more comfortable and confident in my my footing the mountain, so to speak. Because I'm just leery. There's pros and cons, right? I think you can have someone come into a new system and be militant about it, and they're going to do it absolutely every day. But I've yet to see that be sustainable unless there's some real accountability in their life and some real skin in the game. And so then they fail and then they feel like, oh, this isn't for me versus like if there are those outlets and there's a gentler tool at the beginning to get them comfortable with it and then they gain confidence and then they evolve up the mountain. Yeah. And that's just what seemed to have worked for me and the things that I've tried. And, you know, I've certainly tried it with, and they seem to respond well to it as well. But with some clients, I am militant, right? It's like, nope, I can tell by your personality. If you don't do this every day, you're not going to do it. So it's personality-driven for sure. But yeah, I agree and also see the parallel of that approach. Well, I appreciate the conflicting viewpoint. I look at the world through the scope of what I've lived in and breathed so far. And so one of my pet peeves in the bodybuilding or fitness industry, you get ready for a competition. And whether you think highly or negatively about this, you get ready for a competition.
Guide To Personalized Fitness And Personal Growth
The Value of a Personalized Workout (37:18)
Most diets are 12 to 14 weeks. It's kind of like the gold standard. And I don't know who came up with that because it should be based off science and math, but second conversation for a second day. And you look, this person has eaten clean for two weeks straight and they want to be on stage where they're being judged and critiqued, basically naked. Like they're putting, they're subjecting themselves to this. And after two hard weeks of dieting, which is still three to 4,000 calories a day, like they're never hungry, you just don't get to eat donuts anymore, is really how it starts. The new wave after Tim came out with his book and the new wave of thought is, well, now you've earned yourself a cheat day. And I fully agree with a cheat day to restart your metabolism and throw in some external variables. but it almost seems in my opinion in that space that it allows this laissez-faire like hands off, like, oh, I'll eventually get there. Like I don't really have to be all the way dedicated right now that the future is still 14 weeks away or 12 weeks away or 10 weeks away. Where until your body is running so efficiently that you need a shock to the system, I would challenge that conversation. Now, again, that's just the way my mind works because that's the world I came from. I obviously don't compete anymore and could quite honestly give a shit about ever doing it again. So from what you're saying, from having all the experience you have with coaching and me having next to no experience with coaching, it's a refreshing mindset. It makes me question where I'm sitting as I'm starting to help and mentor a few people. How militant am I really being when I should probably take my foot off the gas a little bit because I'm an all or nothing. Like I have a shirt that I wear that says go all in or quit. Like it's a credo that I live my life by. Like I don't know any mid ground. I'm an extremist by nature. Yeah. And it's case by case with the person you're working with for sure. But I, you know, in your example example you're talking about competitive bodybuilding right which means you're you're towards the top of the mountain if you were going to you know for basically you said it's 12 weeks is kind of the standard yeah right yep for the diets yeah so 10 12 you're going to take 12 weeks to eat perfectly i mean you're you're you're at a different level you You've practiced dieting on some level in many different iterations and durations and that kind of stuff before, you know, going all in on something like that. And I agree, you know, and it's one of the things I wrestled with as I've shared this concept and contemplated it in my own mind is we're aspirational beings, right? And we want the idea of perfect to aspire to and think, oh, well, if this person can do it perfectly, then I can do that. And it gives you that momentum. But I'm looking for long-term, right? I'm looking for what's the most sustainable thing because you can get these great, amazing short-term gains, but if you're not able to stick with it, and especially someone who's into personal development, if you're coaching someone, you've got more of an opportunity to be militant because you have the accountability in place right for the you know typical person that's like hey i want to start doing better in my life i want to start working on myself and they're the only one within their friends group that's really focused on this the chances of them being able to be militant through just self-control and discipline are next to impossible, right? Especially if they aren't there already.
Different Levels of Personal Development (40:02)
Yeah. So that it's just the, it's meeting people where they are, I think is the most critical element of it. But yeah, I mean, I'm, I've gotten to the point where I'm pretty militant about every morning. I'm going to break a sweat. I'm going to – I use a five-minute journal app because I don't like writing. I mean, I enjoy writing, but I don't like handwriting. I don't want to get out my computer that early in the morning, so I even hate using my phone for this, but baby steps. But it's like a five-minute thing, you know, what you're grateful for, what's going to make the day great and some affirmations and that's enough for me. Right. And the meditation piece. And, but at the same time, if I miss that in the morning, I don't, I don't beat myself up over it. It's just more, Oh, you know, I'm going to try and do it in the evening then. And then more than likely I do it in the evening, but that's evolution, right? I wasn't always that way. At some points in my life, I had to be like, I'm going to do this every single day. And I would do it for a while, but then it wouldn't last, right? But now this, I don't know, it takes emotional maturity too. It very much depends on where you are in the journey is the bottom line, I think. Well, of course. And you're hitting the nail on the head. To me, just like everything in life, there is no one size fits all. Like just, I don't care what it is. We've all had our own teachers, our own mentors. You and I both continue to have some of those. And just because they impress upon us that this is the way you should do things. Like I challenge everything. Like I'll try anything and I'll try to make it fit my schedule. But sometimes some things just aren't meant for me. It's I give them, in my opinion, due time and course. I'll give something six, eight, 10 weeks to see if it benefits and add value to my life. It's not a once or twice thing to see, but there's just no one-size-fits-all solution. I just don't believe that exists. No, it doesn't. It doesn't. And it's silly to think so. I think it's even breaking it down to what I do with clients is assessment, action, and accountability. So assessing where you are and really having that baseline to work from because if you're not measuring your success in some way, shape, or form, you're going to minimize what that success is and miss things that will give you the momentum to get to that next place. And then action, you know, what is your plan for getting there? What does that look like? And then the accountability is who's going to hold you to this? I like smart goals. So instead of just smart goals, which are specific, measurable, actionable, realistic, and time oriented, I throw an S on the end, which is skin in the game, right? So what are you, what's, what's your, what's your reward if you achieve this goal and what's your consequence if you don't. And I like setting them for one month periods. I keep things as simple as I can for families because I work with the whole family system. And so, you know, dad's got a goal, mom's got a goal and you know, all three kids have their own goal and then they have a collective family goal as well, but that's more complicated, but they each have an individual goal that's for one month here's my smarts goal right and then at the end of that month they can decide hey i was successful i want to do a new goal next month or hey i wasn't successful i want to do more with this specific goal and then i'm going to add another one so instead of having 50 goals right and then none of them end up happening and it's easy to write it off it's like what's that one thing I'm going to focus on this month to achieve and then once I've got that then I'm moving on so I'm building these blocks of foundation to then grow right I'm putting I'm learning the tools to get me to that next level. And when you're working with a kid who starts doing this at eight years old and they do a new goal every month, that's based on a character trait or a life skill or whatever it is, not only do they have that ingrained pattern or personal development, but they have truly become a bad ass, you know, by the time they leave that house, which is what, what the families are really looking for. Of course.
That's a perfect segue into something you and I covered as we started off the mic. And that's how infrequently we celebrate our wins and how, you know, again, I was out at a Wake Up Warrior event where the whole event was taking the 12 guys that have been together since the second week of March. We've been doing things as a small group and personal accountability and spent a lot of time and energy together. And when we go out to Laguna Beach, like it's ingrained in our head, like it's going to be not a beat down fest because that doesn't really adequately share what it is, but it's meant to shock our system. Like it's a pattern interrupt, like by design, we know going out there. So we're all out there with the frame that we carry thinking, oh gosh, like what are we getting into? Like, this is going to be bad. Like there's always some sort of something.
move you forward (45:07)
And it ended up being this whole redirect of when's the last time over the past, you know, it was 147 days we'd been around each other and none of us had celebrated a win in a hundred and basically 150 days. Like, and so the whole event was that, you know, 12 of us just going back and reminiscing about all the memories and the positives that have come of things and the growth we've experienced and sharing that and also sharing with what we would call our brothers. It's a male-only group at that point. Sharing what we've seen them go through. So really not only in ourselves but also what we see in them. And it's unique because you were sharing something, again, right when we first started, a comparable part of your training and methodology is celebrating some of these wins. Is that a good way to set that up? Yeah, it's celebrating wins as often as you can because it's momentum. It's so easy to, especially for high performers, which are the people I work with, that they don't celebrate wins. It's part of what makes them successful. But once you're on that trajectory of success, you don't allow yourself to celebrate those wins. You can be self-destructive in order to achieve some feeling of wins on a more regular basis. And what I mean by that is I found in my own journey that I'm addicted to momentum. That is my drug of choice, and that's sort of my next internal discovery is to figure out how to change that relationship. But I'm still there, and I'm aware of that. And so if my business starts to lack momentum for whatever reason, right, who knows? Let's say the economy crashes and my business starts to lack momentum for whatever reason, right? Who knows? Let's say the economy crashes and my business starts to tank. Okay. Well, if I don't feel like I'm in a place of momentum with the business, that's really going to mess with me because I'm just so, I'm so attached to the idea of momentum as a human being. And so when that starts to happen, if I don't have other areas of my life that I'm making momentum in, that I can look to and say, Oh, there's momentum. Oh, I'm experiencing momentum here. I'm going to tailspin just to get to a lower place, a lower vibration, if you will, so that I can then climb out of it because I'll feel momentum in the climbing out. And that's sick. And that's twisted, but literally would self-sabotage if necessary in order to get to a lower place so I can then climb out of it and feel momentum. And you see people do this all the time. So people will experience great success and then they get bored and then they self-sabotage. And my belief is they're doing that so they can get to a place to get back to momentum. Right. Or they're, they're aspiring, aspiring and they're, you know, getting hit, they're getting hammered and, and they don't feel like they're making that momentum and then they self-destruct. So they fall far enough that they know they can get that momentum quickly because they've been there and they've climbed out of something like that before. can get that momentum quickly because they've been there and they've climbed out of something like that before. I love it. I mean, it is the story of my life up until about 150 days ago was the exact story that you're painting. You know, success, crash, success, crash. Like there's just, there's no sustainable because the climb is a fun part. Like put me in a foxhole. I'm the guy you want there because I'm going to figure out a way out. But when I'm out on, you know, solid land and there's no threats, I'm lost. Not anymore. But, I mean, that was the story. That was what I carried around for a long time. So, I could not agree more with that statement if I tried. So. We've got to have something to push against. And that's why I focus on making sure that these are bite-sized goals, especially at the beginning. Now, again, these evolve. The farther you get up the mountain, hey, if you want to be more sophisticated and complicated in your goal setting and the things you're achieving, by all means, but don't start there. You're setting yourself up for failure. Like, let's start with the easy things. Let's start with the fundamentals. So you can go like hey this personal development thing's pretty cool hey i'm pretty good at this hey this feels pretty good hey i'm making progress right oh i just knocked out three month goals in a row right and making sure those goals are realistic is huge because every like if i ask an entrepreneur or if i convince an entrepreneur to start meditating right if i'm like okay here's here's my Here's the value I've seen. Is this something you're interested in? And they say, yes. All right, well, let's set some smart goals around this, something very specific. Without fail, Ryan, without fail, it's, okay, I'm going to meditate twice a day for an hour. Every day? Yeah, every day. Oh, okay. Let me know how that goes. Right. And that's what these, you know, we're high performers, we're drivers, we want that momentum, right? We're like, oh yeah, I'm going for this. I'm going to be the best meditator you have ever seen, right? And so then they go for that and then they don't succeed and they're like, ah, meditation, that's crap.
Build from Momentum (50:01)
You know, that that's crap or i'm not doing that or i tried that before and then the weight of even thinking about doing it becomes so heavy that they avoid it and then they never do it so my thing is start small get those wins build from that momentum build from there build from there build from there build from there i love it, Bradley. And with that being said, when my listeners inevitably reach out to me and ask, where can I get more of Bradley? Where can they find you at? Where can they get in touch with you? Where can they learn more about your philosophy? Feel free to shout out all the different ways and means they can get to you. You know, I'm not the best about social media. I'm trying to be better. I feel it takes me out of the moment, and I try to avoid that. So I'm trying to come up with a better system for doing that. But I would say the easiest thing is BradleyTallow.com or RichLegacy.com. Probably RichLegacy.com is your best bet. I don't do much with my personal page anymore. And then if you want to schedule a call with me, we just put in a new scheduling software. It's richlegacy.as.me. So richlegacy.as.me for scheduling a call. And that's just like it sounds. It's R-I-C-H-L-E-G-A-C-Y is Rich Legacy. No unique spelling, exactly how it sounds. And I'd heavily encourage you guys to all take a look and see what Bradley, I'll say, has to offer. This isn't some sort of affiliate shout out. I'm not begging you guys for your business right now. It's more the fact of the value that Bradley adds is real value. This whole interview has been unscripted with just two guys that actually care to make a difference. That was the biggest thing that I connected with Ryan in our conversation was I'm not opposed to making money. You know, I think money is a beautiful tool. I think money makes you move more of who you are. And I've seen that happen in other people's lives. It's gonna happen in my own life. If you're a jackass and you make a lot of money, you're gonna be even more of a jackass. You're a good person and you like make a lot of money, you're gonna be even more of a good person. So I will challenge you if you're a jerk, figure that part out first before you try and make money we don't need any more of that in the world but um but yeah that was what i really connected with about ryan is is that like myself i used to want to just make money and my life was miserable and now i just want to make a difference and help people and i'm making more money than I ever have. Because I want to help people. I have a genuine interest in solving other people's problems.
Your Kindness (52:33)
And people pay for that. They pay a lot of money for that. Now, what you, the listener, can't see right now is this entire interview. Bradley has been flying around Phoenix on his private jet, just streaming this, just burning through gas, just with the success. I'm completely kidding. I'm completely kidding. It's not like that at all. We think the same way. Money is certainly a tool and something that I am not UNICEF. I'm not philanthropic. I have a marketing business that pays the bills. But as far as adding the value and truly making a shift in people's lives that's impactful, that's based off an internal calling, a desire to change the world more so than – there's plenty of coaches out there, there's plenty of guys out there that I think Bradley and I could probably both say their names pretty quickly that are doing it because they want to become social media famous or they want to have a Ferrari or Lamborghini in the garage where I would look at all those things as long-term byproducts of doing the right thing for long enough and helping enough people. It's not a reason for, it's a because of. My favorite license plate I ever saw, Ryan, was on a neon orange Lamborghini, which wouldn't personally be my first choice, but I don't remember how long ago. It was like seven years ago. I think it was down in Miami, Florida. And I just saw it in the in the parking lot and at first you you of course noticed the car but the second thing i noticed on this beautiful orange machine was the license plate and that license plate all it said on it was simply you can too yeah and for somebody like that to put a license plate like that on their car, I was like, that is the most beautiful and ingenious thing I have seen in a long time. Absolutely. You can, but you know, you look at somebody like that. Ah, come on. Like, Oh, how did they do it? I heard somebody say the other day, the most genius thing I've heard in a long time, which was, you know, someone's going to judge you if you're rich, that you either stole from people or rip people off or cheated your way to success. And if you're poor, people are going to assume you're stupid or lazy. You can't win either way.
Pursuit Of Happiness
Be Happy (54:50)
People are going to judge you regardless, but just go out and do what's fulfilling and makes you happy. That is exactly, exactly right. And Bradley, I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart for being on the show today. I love chatting with you and need to make more of a habit of it more than just on the show and a couple text messages. I love picking up what you're putting down. It's good stuff. I feel like we think the same way and speak the same way. So from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate you spending however long this has been on a busy Monday in your schedule. I appreciate you more than I can express. Appreciate it. Keep bringing your light and love to the world. Obviously, people are connecting with it.
Sources Of Inspiration
On Inspiration (55:34)
Just a couple. I'm on my way. You know, my goal, Bradley, is a million people to be impacted with this show. And when I say that million people, I'll hit a million downloads this month. I don't look at that as impact. That's just somebody that listened. That million comes when I can show a million emails where people have written me or show a million reviews where someone took the time to take a further step. Like that's actual impact. I love the fact that you, the listener, are spending time to consume the content. Keep doing it. I'd love you for it. It's just different when it's not even because I want to grow a mailing list. I try to take out all the backwards things it could ever be. It's just right now I'm at 15,700 and some emails since I started, which is awesome. Have a folder. Have them all stacked together. I'm just you, the the listener saying thank you. And some of you want more additional information or episodes, but it's, you know, we're all on this, like I said, we're in the process of progress. And I can just see that, you know, four years from now, there'll be a million people that I'll have an email that I can take a snapshot and who knows what will come after that. You know, but I appreciate it, Bradley. I appreciate the kudos. I want to celebrate the victory that I've had. And like I said, it's no small feat to be. I think I'm number 12 as we're recording this episode, 12 out of all podcasts on iTunes. So it's good, but it all comes down to sharing the truth and doing the right thing by the right people. Well, with that, I'll say how we always wrap up the show.