Episode 135: 90 Day Challenge - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 135: 90 Day Challenge - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".


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Intro (00:00)

I'm Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Today's episode is a 90-day challenge. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the content. In today's episode, I'm going to share with you why in a 90-day time period, you're able to completely recalibrate your life and start down the path of something that's unrecognizable to the person you are today. So I'm sitting in the office today, it's just Kurt and I. And Kurt was hired originally as a graphic designer inside the company. Realistically, I probably knew within the first like 10 days that Kurt had a lot larger scope of ability than just graphic design.

Personal Growth And Relationship Insights


Like Kurt's this guy that I actually went to high school with, little high school, Lexington, senior high, just outside of Mansfield. We didn't stay in touch after high school. He was a grade or so younger than I was. Graduated, I think it would have been in 03. I graduated in 02. And it was this situation where I would even say during high school that him and I weren't close. We played on the same football team. He had a brother that was a year older. We had a friendship that was established based off the fact of someone of a necessity. But I don't even think back then I had his phone number. Sure, I was the house that we had parties at and drinking and crazy stuff back then. So he might have come over to my house for one of those. But short of that, I don't remember a bunch of time with Kurt. I end up running an ad first part of this year for a graphic designer. I realize that as GSD Media Group is growing and shifting and morphing, I'm going to need someone that can create quality graphic works. We had been outsourcing things that just wasn't efficient. And so lo and behold, Kurt had just made a transition from Chicago, Illinois, back to Columbus, Ohio. And so sent him a rough schematic. We needed a label created for a product that we were thinking about launching, and he knocked out of the park. So next thing I know, Kurt, a guy that I've known of or known for 15 or 20 years, is now working with me every day. And I share this for the framework of now how our relationship has morphed. Kurt was originally someone I wasn't close with, and now he's somebody that I see every day. He's someone that, when given the flexibility to work from home or really do anything he wants to, enjoys coming into the office. He's typically the first one to show up. More times than not, he's one of the last ones to leave. And he's just a hell of a guy. And I'm saying this and he's literally sitting right in front of me. Like, he's the one controlling the cameras. If you watch us on YouTube, he's sitting just off camera, altering back and forth between the two angles that we have. And so Kurt and I are having this philosophical conversation as I'm launching my, I call it coaching platform.


I think that's a bad term because it's not really coaching. Just posted about this on social media and who knows when this episode will launch versus when I shared the post. But if I go back four years ago in my life, there's a picture of myself, a very young Gianna, who's just a little bit older than four, and Lindsay. And it's taken during that Thanksgiving hayride time of year. It's warm enough that I'm in a short-sleeved shirt, but I have on jeans, and we're enjoying each other's company. And I put on this mask. I'm smiling in the picture, but behind the scenes, I'm lying to everybody. I'm still loosely probably involved in two separate relationships. My business is on the precipice of complete failure. I'm in financial ruins or dire strait. The world is melting down around me. And I'm just lying to everybody, including myself. And it's rough. Like when I look back at this picture, it's like, man, I had myself convinced that things were going to be okay. But if I look backwards four years prior to that, I have this trail of tears almost that I'll call it. Not only my own tears, but the tears for those that were around me in my life, whether it was women that I was dating that ended up finding out about the other ones, whether it was coworkers or friends that got burnt or trampled in a relationship with me. It's really almost everybody. Nothing went the right way. And so here I am four years removed, and I get this distinction and honor of doing for others what Lindsay did for me. And I say that, Lindsay stuck around and saw something in me that I didn't see in myself. When Lindsay found out that I was being unfaithful, she was faced with a decision. Do I stay and potentially look like an idiot? Or do I go and miss out on what this relationship could be? If you are a first-time listener, I'll get to the punchline of the story. Lindsay's my wife. She didn't go anywhere. Things worked out the right way for us. I honored that commitment. And what she ended up doing was shining a light for me to slowly start to see out of this pit of despair that I had lived in. She was a catalyst for change. on the couch, wrapped up in a blanket, beside herself with the fact that her friends had called her and shared with her that they saw me at the mall with another woman. And for the first time in my life, when she asked me the question, I gave her the truth. It was literally the most liberating and scary experience of my life up to that point. You see, when confronted with a tough reality before, I would have ran from it. Linda and I had just moved in together in a new house, and I was just plain and simply tired of running. I'd love to say that it was from my own ability to stand tall and hold my chest high that I owned up to my mistakes. But that would be a lie. Lindsay's friends saw me. Lindsay's friend's husband saw me. And then they eventually called her and then she called me out on it. And that's how it started. That's how the shift started. I didn't want to see another person in pain knowing that I was the one that had caused the pain. It wasn't someone else's fault. It was mine. And so we slowly start to build. And build and build and build. Now this is four plus years removed. At this point I live my life in a way that's completely unrecognizable to the man I was four years ago. I don't have the same morals and values. I don't train the same way. I don't eat the same way. I don't treat my wife the same way. I don't treat our daughter the same way. I don't have the same friends.

My First Relationship Collapse (07:19)

I don't value the same things I used to value. I don't covet material possessions the way I once did. There's all these shifts that have happened and it was because of a catalyst that ended up being me getting caught being a liar. And so what ends up happening is there's this pattern interrupt, I call it. And this pattern interrupt is the fact I get caught lying and Lindsay forces me to own my truth. And so that was something that interrupted the pattern that had plagued me throughout my entire 20s. That the value of the relationship with Lindsay was higher than any other value I'd ever found anywhere else. That's not to belittle or diminish the quality of the people I dated prior to Lindsay. That's the fact of there was something unique about our relationship at that moment in my life that propelled me to understand that there's something greater for me. And so she was a pattern interrupt that opened the door for me to start to walk through, to ascend to the level that I'm at now. What's phenomenal is in today's world, from the way I've lived my life, from the knowledge that I have, from the skills I've acquired, I now get to be other people's pattern interrupt. I look at it in this world where there's a series of things that we go through. We eventually learn some new things if we're open to it. And when you begin to learn new things, you're then faced with the opportunity to be able to live these new things. You don't have to live them. It's a choice. But if you choose to live them and you live them long enough, there's now a subset of individuals that have learned something that have began to live something that then want to lead others into that same path. Because I look at my life now and I wake up every morning and I feel this fire in my soul and this excitement to be alive and this motivation to change people's outlook on the world. It's coming from a place that I've lived this for so long that I want to pass it on to others. that I've lived this for so long that I want to pass it on to others. The byproduct of that is there's a career based around this. That I can be people's pattern interrupt. I can take what's worked for me and share it with you and have you change your life if you're open to it. If you put in the work. If you spend the time to consider the possibility of something greater than you currently are experiencing. All this comes full circle because Kurt and I are having this conversation about the podcast. The one you're listening to right now. And it starts with actually discussing books that I'm reading. Where I've read a book a week, give or take. It's not a time thing, it's just how long it takes me to read the average 200-page book, give or take 25 or 30 pages a day. That because I've done this for the last 18 or 19 months, the books that I'm exposing myself to or have been exposed to, at some point all begin to sound somewhat the same. And it's not that I don't find value in the books. It's just there's only so many different ways to say the same thing. And so what's happened in my life is the same thing that's happening in this, I'll call it, coaching world. Whereas I began to learn new information from books and I began to implement this new information from the books, I then feel compelled to write my own book and share the abridged version of what I've learned. So I end up having some sort of regurgitated information that's no different than the other books that I've read, but it's written in my own words. Now, what I know is the fact that some of you will pick up this book and it will sound revolutionary because you connect with the way that I speak, with the way that I share, with the way that I live my life. No different than if I look back at Napoleon Hill or Tony Robbins or Jim Rohn. Like these are people that I read their books and it felt like they were speaking to me directly. That's the nature of writing. Whether it's 4,000 of you or 10,000 of you listening, there's going to be some number of you that just connect with the way the book is written. But in that connection, there's this weird thing that happens. I'm now bored with reading. Now it's part of the components of what makes me who I am. It's part of my daily ritual. It's part of my daily habits. I read and then I journal and try to apply what I read to my daily life and make my life better than it was the day before. And over time, when I compound enough of these together, again, Darren Hardy's compound effect, when you combine these things that are small incremental changes for long enough, you start to live this life that's unrecognizable to the way you used to live. Case in point, my life and my family's life. I'm sharing this with you from a place of authenticity. These aren't theories. These are practical things that have changed the outlook of my life and those around me. So I'm sharing this with Kurt. I'm like, man, I don't know what to do really. He's like, well, have you ever considered taking time off of reading? Like, yeah, you know, you're like the second or third person to say that to me. I'm going to have to take some time off, which is scary because it's now a new pattern interrupt. But I realize anytime I've had a pattern interrupt, anytime there's been a shift in my life, anytime I've been open to the possibility of something greater, something greater has ended up coming. No different than in your life. So I realize that I'm reading books now on how to become a more efficient and effective, again, coach, and I hate that term, but I don't know what else to call it. I'm reading books on how to become a more effective orator or speaker or podcast or whatever you want to say. But there's going to come a time where those books now all sound the same because there's only so many different ways to teach the same lesson. And so that comes, what Kurt's recommendation was, is that I should take a week or two off of reading and figure out how to digest new content. And I completely agree with Kurt. That's a phenomenal idea and it's something that's speaking to me as I'm meditating so I know I'm doing myself a disservice by not listening to that voice So I have to But in that I recalibrate the conversation we start discussing this podcast the one you're listening to right now you know here I am a hundred plus episodes in a seven day a week podcast and I'm honored to have you listening right now. Like truly, it's phenomenal that you spend 15 or 20 minutes with me, whether it's once or whether it's every day for the past 100-plus days. I couldn't be more honored that my words make an impact in your life. Like when many of you take the time to seek me out on social media or take the time to give me a review on iTunes or take the time to send me an email, those of you that have reached out, I start the email or message almost the same way every time. I am truly honored and humbled that you found me and shared the impact of my words back to me. Because this podcast has always been really about me. Because this podcast has always been really about me. It's been about sharing things that made an impact in my life that I needed to get out. Whether it was bad things like the lying, the cheating, the manipulating, the failed businesses, the repossessed cars, the name something. That was a weight that was lifted off my shoulders. Or whether it's been a life lesson that I've learned that I think could, if I say it out loud, it's going to reiterate it to me and I'm going to ingrain it upon my soul in a different way than I had it embedded upon me before. This selfishly has always been for me. And so what's happening is after 90, 120, 140 days, I'm starting to become nervous that there's not going to be anything new to share with you. Because what I won't do is lie to you. I'm not going to manufacture new stories that don't exist. I'm not going to share a life that's not actually genuine to me. I'm not going to change the format of the podcast to make sure that my listenership increases. By the time this episode airs, I should be at roughly a million people have downloaded or consumed this content. That's crazy to me. Like one million people, give or take the population of Columbus as a city, if it was condensed into one area, has now listened to something that I have shared. I don't even know how to describe that feeling. But the more scary side of that is the fact of I only have so many stories. Like how many times can you hear me tell the same story that I cheated on Lindsay when we first got together? Or that I was an asshole through my 20s, or that I've had a failed business.

Occam Salvitude (16:05)

At some point, the content gets a little old. And Kurt's sharing the same story with me about other podcasts he's consumed, that after a certain period of time of digesting the same podcaster's information, there's this time where he's realizing that every interview the host conducts ends up being about the same.

Kurt goes over a blog post (16:20)

And when a guest has a different answer than the host is expecting, it throws him for a loop. The host, not Kurt. I'm sitting there thinking to myself, how am I going to get around this? Well, the answer is I'm not. I can't get around this. There is no workaround. I can't get around this. There is no workaround. There is no hack to this. All I can do is keep sharing the information that feels relevant to me in the moment. See, I don't have any notes before this episode.

Stop Killing Time, Make Time Abiding (16:57)

As I'm sitting here working on looking at the different cameras, which again, I'm going to ask you to go over to YouTube and subscribe to the channel so you can see me start to work the different cameras and become better at that as I get into more public speaking and know I need to work the crowd better. It all starts with practicing what I'll call time under tension here inside the office. So I'm making eye contact with the camera and working back and forth. It's like, man, how can I keep sharing these stories? It's pretty simple. I'm just going to do it. I'm just going to keep sharing. But for many of you that have been longtime listeners, which again, I'm truly honored and humbled by, I need you to consider a possibility. This is one of the most controversial things as a podcast host that I can say because I can monetize this podcast based off how many people download the episodes. So you downloading this allows me to potentially make money, which I am not doing yet, but I may do it one day. I'm going to encourage you that if you've listened to 90 days worth of this content or any content and have not began to go out and search for your own answers based around that content, you're doing yourself a disservice. Yes, it's crazy. I'm encouraging you that if you've downloaded or digested 90 days of this podcast that you stop. You stop listening. You take a break. You create a shift in your own life. You create your own pattern interrupt because there is this thing that is paralysis by analysis, if you will. And not that you're necessarily analyzing this podcast, but there's only so many new lessons I can share with you. And so just as I'm finding out with reading or with any other part of life or the patterns that I had with Lindsay or the things that Kurt has now experienced that he's sharing with me, at some given point, you have to expand your possibility. You have to expand your capacity. I shouldn't say you have to. I'm going to encourage you to. I would be honored if you're a lifelong listener. You listen every day for the next four years. There's going to be 1,460 of these episodes. It's crazy to say that, but I couldn't find one other podcaster that went four years straight without missing a day. That's my new goal. But in saying that, how are you going to alter your life if you don't take actionable items around the content that you're digesting? Think about it. As you're listening right now, are you really implementing the things that you learn? He's like, man, this guy said some great shit today. And then you go about your day and you don't do anything about it. Like I've said it in past episodes, that's a fool's errand to me. The whole idea of this podcast is to make an impact in my life and through my life in your life. I can't make an impact in your life if you don't actually do something with the content. You're going to have to eventually start to implement some sort of change in your life if you want to get from where you're at today to where you want to get to. No different than with me. If I wanted to stop being a lying, manipulating cheater, I had to take action to stop those things. If I wanted to stop being a meathead and a steroid user, I have to stop doing certain things and adapt and adopt new patterns. Hence the 90-day challenge. To me, it's been said over and over again, it takes 21 days to establish a habit. I'm going to trust that at some point you probably heard that yourself. It takes 21 days to just establish a habit. Well, for me, with the way that I view the world, a habit is somewhat worthless.

21 Days To Develop A Habit (20:22)

I don't want to be in the habit of anything. I want to create a meaningful lifestyle change that's now embedded upon the way that I live day to day, which in my opinion takes 90 days. So if you digest content, or if you read books, or if you work out, or if you do these things, you do anything consistently for 90 days, I'm going to challenge you to split test against that, to try something a little different. Go listen to another podcast instead of mine every morning.

Creating a Meaningful Change (20:55)

Come back after 10 days and see if the message touches you in a different way. I'm going to be here doing this no matter what. I'm not going anywhere, but I want you to go somewhere. I want you to understand there's only so many messages I can share. There's only so many stories I can tell. If everything goes the right way, I don't really mess up too many more things in my life that are that impactful that it's this monumental shift. I'm never going to cheat on Lindsay. Knock on wood, if everything goes the right way, I'll probably never be bankrupt again. That's at least the name of the game at this point. So I'm sharing that. Where in your life specifically do you need to implement this 90-day challenge? Potentially it's in the gym for you. You've went to the gym at the same time every day.

Time Management Strategies

Time Challenge For Better Results (21:47)

You've seen the same people and you follow the same workout schematic. You've maybe even eaten the same foods consistently for 90 days, whether good or bad. I'll challenge you to consider the opportunity. There's a different life just on the other side of that 90 days where you can make a shift. Train a little bit differently. Maybe you hire a trainer for yourself. Maybe a new nutritionist or dietitian. Maybe you try a new diet for yourself. But after 90 days, try to split test against a new stimuli. See if it works for you. Same thing in a relationship. You can be in a happy, committed relationship. I'm not going to encourage you to split test against that and go find somebody new. What I'm going to encourage you to do is consider the opportunity that you can do more with your partner. Add a date night in and honor the commitment. Send your partner a note of appreciation every morning. If you're already doing those things, spend an extra 30 seconds holding them in the morning, telling them you love them. Do something greater than you're currently doing. Expand your capacity. Or maybe it's in the work environment. Maybe there is a 90-day challenge where you've done the same thing every time. You've shown up at the same time of day. You've went and taken lunch at the same moment every day of the week. Shift up those variables. Meet some new people in the office. Bring in your lunch. Do something greater than you've currently done. Because what I'll guarantee you is, in some capacity, after a 90-day run rate, if you split test against it and try to optimize your life, eventually you'll find out that every day you're able to get shit done.

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