Episode 139: Free Willy - How To Let Go Of Society’s Restraints | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 139: Free Willy - How To Let Go Of Society’s Restraints".


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Intro (00:00)

This is Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Normally at this point, I ask you for a review, a comment, a share, a subscription. Admittedly, I think that shit gets old. I just want you to listen in today. I appreciate your time and the energy that you give me. I appreciate the DMs and the emails. I would love to see more of those. If you get value from this, shoot me a message. I try to respond to everyone I possibly can. Social media handles are all RyanNydell, R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L. That's Twitter, Facebook, Instagram. Anywhere you can find it, I'm out there. YouTube as well.

Discussion On Rahul M Mitra & Social Issues


With that being said, today's episode is entitled Free Willy. With that being said, today's episode is entitled Free Willy. Today I want to share with you why you have a unique guidance system in you that is free will, but for whatever the reasons, you have chosen not to use it. There's immense power if you decide to turn on that switch and start accessing your free will. So I sit in the studio. Kurt threw me for a loop right before this episode. Now, Kurt couldn't help himself after me coming up with this title, this name of Free Willy, to share with me that he owned the Free Willy soundtrack. So for some of you younger listeners, you might not remember that there was a movie that came out that was entitled Free Willy.

Tittle (01:45)

It was about a whale, I believe, that was in captivity for our viewing pleasure, was sad and depressed, and eventually some very nice people inside that community helped Free Willy, helped bring him out, set him live into the ocean. So I thought obviously to double play on words, I'll call this episode Free Willy, helped bring him out, set him live into the ocean. So I thought, obviously, to double play on words, I'll call this episode Free Willy. I didn't expect Kurt, who's incredibly gifted with creating music as well as almost any digital asset now, to share with me the little knowledge bomb that he owned the Free Willy soundtrack. The best part is he said he picked it up a year ago, so it's not even something that's old. It's just something that's, you know, I think it's probably, he might be playing it in the system in his car as we speak. You know, either way, I digress on that. In all actuality, when I started looking at and analyzing people's behaviors that I work with, help with, mentor, coach, whatever you want to say. I don't know that there's any specific term. I use the term now life optimization coach for what it is that I do because as I add value to your life, it's not any one segment. We can talk about marketing and optimization and sales strategy for your business. But business is almost never the real failure point. almost never the real failure point. Most of us men specifically look at business as the ultimate manhood measuring unit, I'll call it. Be super crass with it. It's a dick measuring contest. How many zeros in your bank account? How successful you are at your job? What type of car you drive? What type of watch you wear? I've been all those things. I get it. It's what society has told us makes us a better or worse man, a bigger or smaller producer. I feel like that's true up until a certain point because when you start looking at, you know, Bill Gates or Warren Buffett or Mark Zuckerberg, and there's been like this polar shift where they wear blue t-shirts, Levi jeans, a pair of of boat shoes. That doesn't mean the fact that they're famous for what they've created. You would never know if they just walked down the street. It seems like the people that are trying the hardest, much like I did, with the Audemars Piguet watches and the true religion jeans, are the ones that are the most insecure. And certainly I'm not saying I don't appreciate nice things. I still have some of the AP watches and I certainly still have expensive jeans, but I'm wearing them in a different way and for a different reason. Those of you that watch us on social media, you almost never see me in one of those watches on set.

Klux klux (04:11)

Doesn't really fit. Doesn't really make any sense to me. It did at one point in my life, it just doesn't serve me right now. But all this eventually trickles back to free will. Like, think about it for a second. In your life, you were raised typically under a certain religious sector, right? I mean, Christian, Muslim, Jewish, don't really care what it is. Don't care what sector of the Christian religion it could be. You know, Baptist, whatever it could be And in that what ends up happening is you associate by that tribal community You go to church hypothetically every Sunday You maybe go to Bible study on Wednesdays as I did as a young man And all of a sudden now the people that you're exposed to also share your same belief systems So over time the people that you're exposed to also share your same belief systems. So over time, the people that you're hanging around as well as your family that's impressing these things upon you are slowly and systematically eliminating your free will. Because there's shame and guilt associated with questioning that system. I mean, think about it. How many of you right now have went down a religious path? I'll just say Judaism. Just popped in my head. And at some point after going down that path, after your bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah and all the things that go into that religion, that in your mid to late 20s, you decide to put down your yarmulke and consider other religions. Or consider just saying, I'm going to take a time out from religion and just find myself. Many of you that are listening right now, when I say that out loud, you can't even imagine that being a possibility because of what society, the society that you've operated in, what they would say to you. You could potentially be ostracized. Right? But when you think about it, where did you pick up that religion from? Were you given an opportunity to explore other things for yourself? Or was it impressed upon you by your parents and their parents and your aunts and uncles and then the people in your church. And then inevitably when you went to school or you were in social settings, you felt the most comfortable around those same people with the same belief system, which then just further pushed you down that rabbit hole of assuming that that was what had to be true and right. If you don't believe it to be religion, and let's say that's just not your bag, let's say you've never been religious. What about politics? This is a super polarizing conversation. Dealing with it right now with the Colin Kaepernick Nike ad, with taking a knee and is it right or is it wrong and what side of the fence do you sit on and all this shit.

Why We Think What We Think (06:58)

I think about it. We're so tribal that we lose our ability to understand that we have the free will to start to question why we think things a certain way. I don't care if you're raised Democrat or Republican. It doesn't really matter to me. What matters to me is why. Why do you believe the things that you believe? Is it because you took the time, energy, and effort to analyze the situation and figure out what served you best? Or is it because your parents were Republican and or Democrat? Or the people in your region are Republican or Democrat. Think about it. What are the ideals that you actually adopt that you truly believe in your soul are right from wrong? Only you know that answer. I believe a lot of right and wrong are what creates social divide. I believe if we all started looking at things that are right from wrong, we started looking at things as it served me or not served me, there'd be a different conversation to be had. Which brings me up to something that's going to be super polarizing. There's a good chance that after this part of the conversation many of you never listen again. I get it. I understand the fact that you might not be open to just neutral conversation. Can't help it. Something tells me to share this. So Lindsay and I, my wife, are at home last night having just an open conversation. And I'm watching the new Nike ad on my phone that's popping up that goes through, you know, people with disabilities and, you know, people with, you know, different belief systems that are all wearing Nike attire, apparel. At the end of this ad, there's Colin Kaepernick, who is getting, you know, notoriety right now, a lot of press, for being the poster child for Nike's new ad campaign. And I'm going to butcher the ad campaign, but something along the lines of, stand for something even means that you have to lose everything. Nike, just do it. Okay, so in that, Lindsay sees that and it triggers her. It makes her super unhappy. But Lindsay sees that and it triggers her. It makes her super unhappy. She doesn't get why this entitled, quote unquote, individual gets to take a knee during the national anthem. She thinks it's anti-our country. That's her belief. And I want to know this. I want to know why. I'm not sharing with what side of this fence I sit on at this point. I want to know, and I'm just asking questions on why she sits in that part of the conversation. What makes her think that that's the right way? What about that serves her? And so she's sharing with me that she feels it's massively inappropriate that someone would disrespect our country by taking me during the national anthem. I said, okay, well, it doesn't matter if that individual is black or white. Is this a race thing? She said, no, I don't think it matters either way. And Lindsay, for those of you that might be new to the show, is a full-blooded Italian, super feisty. It's 9.15 at night. She's had a super long day as of I. So her voice is raising during this conversation. She's had a super long day as of I. So her voice is raising during this conversation. She's got a little edge to her. I love her edge. She's not like yelling at me, but she's passionate about what she's sharing. So imagine this 5'8", 120-pound, feisty Italian woman sharing her version of this story with me. So in this, I start to dive a little bit deeper because again, I'm very curious as to what goes into her mindset. How much of the free will is she expressing versus what her parents and their parents have taught her? Because again, I truly believe we're all a combination and culmination of the life events that we've went through up until this exact moment right now. So we dive into it more. That she just doesn't think taking a knee is correct. And she doesn't understand because of race and what goes on. And that he's a football player and that he's entitled and all these things. And I'm listening. I love her no matter what her stance is. And I'm trying to understand why she thinks this way.

Understand Where The Other Person Is Coming From (11:22)

We start going backwards down the path of her life with where her family came from. Italy, Steubenville, Ohio, Columbus. At different points in her life, we could assume the fact that unofficially her family had mob connections. And I only say unofficially because I don't want to end up dead in a river or a horse head in my bed or any of that stuff. Like two or three generations ago, it was very obvious that there were connections to that part of society in her life. And so for that, that tribalism existed when they're coming over from Italy, like people stick together. Well, that tribalism also slowly starts to eliminate free will. Like at what point during the evolutionary experience for her family line do you start debunking some of those initial thoughts based off of being curious about what the opposite person could be thinking? What's the opposite viewpoint? And so this conversation continues. She goes up, checks on Gianna. Every once in a while, Gianna wants what we call a little check where we go back up and check on her just to turn off her lights and make sure she's tucked in. And she comes back, and I'm not done yet. Like, I can't help. Like, if there's a scab, I'm the guy that's going to pick it and pick it and pick it until it's festering and bleeding again. So now I smell a little blood in the water, and I want to know more. So we keep diving and diving,, she's getting super unhappy. Like she's sitting on the couch, folding laundry mad because I'm number one, I'm not folding laundry. I fucking hate laundry. And two, because I'm poking at this where she doesn't understand why. And eventually we jump into the race side of things. And this is where it gets super ugly, right? Like race is this thing we just don't talk about. For any of you listening, I truly believe racism exists every day in every capacity. Everywhere you go. Let me explain for a second. I am a 34-year-old white man who has grown up in a predominantly white community that as I've moved from high school to college and then to Columbus to live, I have only for the most part been around white people. most part been around white people. So by the nature of that I am more comfortable in white situations. Because white actually exists. For those of you that say you don't see color, I call bullshit. I certainly see a black person. I can tell you I love them just the same as I love a white person, but I see that they're black. I'm not naive to that. What I am naive to is the struggles they've went through because I don't know what they've been through because I'm not black. I can't pretend to know what it's like to live in the inner city because I've never lived there. And so this starts bouncing around. full circle where I truly believe that we as white people brought in drugs to help fund cartels for political agendas.

Race, Drugs and Moral Absolutism (14:29)

I believe then the only place we wanted those drugs to go were to ghettos or projects or underdeveloped areas because those people at that moment could be somewhat controlled by the landlocked nature of where they're at. So we as white people take drugs and we pump them into a black part of a town. We'll take Harlem and New York. From that now, there is no way for the majority of those individuals that happen to also be black in skin tone to ever get out of Harlem because white people don't want to go there to educate them. The best teachers aren't going to the inner city schools. And so your force is an option there. Do you sell drugs? Do you steal? How do you get out? Well, you don't. What's the way out? What's the path? And certainly, black people don't need white people to save them, but we systematically created almost like a virtual prison system to keep them isolated.

The Expression of a Born-Again Black (15:30)

Now, this is super polarizing. I get it. This is my viewpoint. I'm not saying that it's right. I'm saying it's mine. I'm saying then, as a man that is 34 that has only been in basically white communities, admittedly have some very phenomenally close friends. Some of my best friends happen to be black. I still don't know what they've been through. But in that, in living in an upper middle class to upper class white part of Columbus, Ohio, if a black person is driving through, they are profiled. Specifically, if they're not in the right type of car, if it's not nice enough, if their windows are too tinted, if their music's too loud, every person fucking looks at them. Because we don't understand. Because we've never taken the time to slow down and ask questions, because we just assume they have to be doing something nefarious because they're not from around here. Well, why is that? Because it's been passed down from people before us, because we've never questioned or stopped to understand why that is. What is the expression that's coming forth from this individual that happens to be in our part of town? No different than, as Lindsay's saying, that's not true, that's not the way this works. It's all right, let's go back to 9-11. Let's go back to September 11, 2001. The Taliban is in full swing, right? 9-11 happens and there's pictures on TV of all these individuals that happen to look different than the majority of the people that I could see in the U.S. And poof, profiling exists. If you were wearing a turban, you had to be a terrorist.

They Happened to Look Different (17:13)

you got treated differently at the airport you got treated differently in society I can remember feeling uneasy walking down the street seeing people that didn't look like me that were wearing a turban on their head not being sure in that moment could that be a terrorist I'm not proud of that shit. But it's what went through my mind. It was ignorance. It was ignorance and a lack of questioning. Two or three bad individuals or a handful of bad individuals, immaterial of skin color or religious beliefs, then cast this shadow on an entire populace. then casts a shadow on an entire populace. And so it gets passed down because my grandfather was racist. And that passed down into my family. My mother, my father had a certain amount of racism in their life. And so these are things I'm hearing in the household that then can potentially manifest themselves in my present day reality. that then can potentially manifest themselves in my present day reality. And so when Colin Kaepernick is taking a knee during the national anthem, way back when he played for San Francisco, I don't give a shit if he was an all-star quarterback or a bench writer. That doesn't matter to me personally. He took a chance with national spotlight to take attention and potentially do something with it.

Nike Stocks To Rising (18:49)

Now, owning a marketing company, Nike's marketing ad is brilliant to me because it's polarizing. You have people that are wealthy individuals that will eventually see Nike's stock rise, that will buy the stock based off of seeing the fact that they have more attention than they've had before and knowing that more products are going to get sold. You have the mid-ground that's ignorant that's going to go out and burn theirernick is on their advertising campaign and are just going to support the brand even more. It's a brilliant play from a marketing standpoint. So as this individual, as Colin Kaepernick is taking a knee, the way I remember the story, he still took a knee, looked at the flag, and still put his hand on his heart. I look at it as he's taking this national platform that he has earned the way into. He's had to bust his ass. He didn't just accidentally end up on an NFL football field. He had to get his way to there. Whether he's starting or not, he gets attention. Then to me, it's what do you do afterwards with that attention? That's where the breakdown is for me personally. Hops on that first interview and some will say he stumbled through how he was thinking and feeling. But you have national spotlight now. What are you going to do with it? And there's an issue. There's an issue where white police officers were killing and are still killing black people. Because racial bias still exists. But it exists based off the fact that, in my opinion, we're not curious enough to start to break it down. And so afterwards, all the additional kneeling, to me, eventually becomes a little pointless. Shine that spotlight in the corner, see what's going on over there, and then do something to change that corner. Kneeling consistently doesn't change the fact that this exists. Look at LeBron James for instance. LeBron James is unhappy with the school systems that exist in Ohio, specifically in Akron. So what does LeBron James do? He talks about it once or twice in some obscure interviews that nobody picks up. He talks about it locally inside of the Akron City school systems. And eventually what does he do? He builds a school and pays for people to go there. That's actual action.

Racisms Young Trend (21:26)

Right? That changed something. He cast a light on something. Maybe he got funding for it. Maybe it was all his money. Doesn't matter to me. He took action to make something better than it was prior to acknowledging the fact that an issue existed. That's what I think any social influencer should do. Celebrity, athlete, social media influencer, I don't care. Now granted, I'll put the little asterisk next to this so we can cover it. I'm certainly not qualified to talk about politics. I'm barely qualified to talk about racism other than from the fact of the way that I particularly view the world. But my thoughts are just that. They're mine. And I'm choosing to share them. And I'm choosing to share them because I have free will. I have free will that some of you, I hope, email me and give me a rebuttal to my mindset to help me expand. I don't wish to get in an argument because I don't know that there's right from wrong. I just know my current viewpoint. I know that edict that I'm adopting serves me in the moment because it's forcing me to question everything and that forces expansion. And through that daily expansion, I can become more of a person. But that happens because I'm exercising free will to question things. If I just went down the path of listening to my grandparents, or potentially even the people that surround me in life, there's a chance I could be racist. There's a chance I could be ignorant. Just a chance. So taking the time to realize that the thoughts that you think were put there from somebody until you start to realize that you control what they are. We start to realize that those thoughts are things that you control and that you can actually put them there and question why they were there.

Serve You And Serve Them (23:17)

you begin to reclaim power in your life. Again, eliminate good from bad, good and bad. Does the story you tell yourself serve you or does it not serve you? If you right now think that every black individual, if you are white and listening to this, if you think every black individual is bad, does that serve you? Is that making your life better? And if you're black and listen to this and you think that every white person hates you, does that serve you? Is that making your life better? If the answer is yes, continue on. I don't blame you. If the answer is I'm not sure, then really it's a no. So then start to question why it exists and what you could do to change it so it does start to serve you. That's the only way you can really advance in life.

Concept Of Free Will

Implementation on Free Will (24:09)

This whole concept that we all have free will but most of us don't ever tend to use it because we get bombarded by social media. We get bombarded by our friends. We get bombarded by society. And that starts to eliminate our ability to have free will and question why we think what we think. So where in your life would your being change if you started to exercise free will? Maybe it's the way you view relationships. Maybe that simple fact of a relationship should only be with a man and woman, that it shouldn't be with a woman and woman or man with man. Maybe questioning why you think that way on either side of that equation could expand the possibility of what you're able to achieve. Maybe it's inside your business. Maybe you're not exercising the free will that it takes to make decisions that can catapult your business to a new direction because it goes against the norm of that operation. Or potentially you're the one that doesn't know how to exercise free will inside of his or her body, that because your partner operates a certain way or thinks a certain way or eats a certain way, or your friend group does, that you're afraid to step out. Let's say step out and go vegan. That you're afraid by stopping and trying to not eat meat that you're going to be ostracized, and that fear of free will is crippling you. Does that serve you or does it not? What I found is consistently in my life, the more free will that I exercise, the more I question every social confine that exists, not only question why it exists, but why I decided to adopt it, that I find consistently every day I'm able to get shit done.

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