Episode 158: Speak Up | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 158: Speak Up".


Note: This transcription is split and grouped by topics and subtopics. You can navigate through the Table of Contents on the left. It's interactive. All paragraphs are timed to the original video. Click on the time (e.g., 01:53) to jump to the specific portion of the video.


Intro (00:00)

I'm Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes of Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Today's episode for your listening pleasure is Speak Up. So sit back, relax, and enjoy the show. In today's episode, I'm going to share with you why speaking out loud, your viewpoint and opinion will matter and change your perception of reality going forward. So this weekend, I couldn't help myself. It's, I believe, Friday night.

Understanding And Practicing Public Speech

Why Speaking Up Matters (00:44)

It could have been Saturday morning. Days kind of seem to run together, especially when Lindsay's out of town. And I'm scrolling through social media, literally just killing time. And I fucking hate killing time. It's so infuriating to me that I let time slip by by idly and mindlessly scrolling through social media. There is no benefit from that. But I digress. That's not what this episode is ultimately about. As I'm scrolling through, actually this has to be Saturday, because I'm scrolling through Friday night, I see there's a concert here in Columbus that a lot of people are at. Some sort of rave,ave techno electric daisy type of deal. Some look pretty fun. Something that there's probably a small twinge inside of me that was jealous that I didn't attend, seeing as I had nothing to do Friday night. But nonetheless, I see pictures of people with like face paint on and neon lights and glow sticks and just crazy stuff. Something I've never experienced before. I see this and I remember making mental note that this existed, but pretty much in passing. I'm actually, I do remember, I'm driving to get Lindsay Saturday morning. I have TJ in the passenger seat, one of my closest friends that was up from South Carolina. We actually arrive a little uncharacteristic of me, we arrive at the airport early. And so I don't know about your airport, but here in Columbus, you can't just park at the airport. You have to keep circling around or parking a cell phone lot that's far enough away that I'm sure if you were going to do some sort of heinous crime, you couldn't do it from how far the cell phone lot is away from the airport. And so we're sitting there and I wrap up my stack for the day. I'm sitting in the car and I'm stacking whatever it is I was stacking that morning and explaining to TJ what a stack is. And I remember swiping through Facebook. As I'm swiping through Facebook, there's this text block. Now from a marketing standpoint, something that I do for really a living, a text block is like the worst thing you can do. Like, imagine if you will, that Facebook blurb that just like one consistent run on word or series of words. It just looks like a word vomit out, but something in this tells me to read it. And so it's from a young lady that's dating someone that I'll call an acquaintance of mine, friend to be a little strong, but someone that I have tons of respect for here in Columbus. They've been dating for quite some time. And in that, I actually remembered seeing a picture of them together the previous night at this concert, posted on social media. And this girl proceeds to say that her and her boyfriend took an Uber home from this concert. And they hop on an Uber, and she goes into great detail, hops on the back took an Uber home from this concert. And they hop on an Uber, and she goes into great detail, hops on the back of an Uber. It's, I think, a silver Honda Accord. And as they're driving in this Honda Accord, Uber, if you have ever been in an Uber or paid attention before, there's actually a map that shows up on the Uber's driver's phone. Like, it's almost a forced gps and them living in columbus and the concert being in columbus no matter how altered our state of minds might be we all have some general concept of how to get home and i'm not at all implying these people hadn't you know altered state of consciousness just simply stating the fact that it would take a lot for me to get lost in columb. It's not an overly complicated city to navigate. So in this post, this woman goes into great detail about how this driver picks them up in a silver Honda Accord. They're sitting in the back seat, and there's the map, you know, predominantly displayed on the dashboard. The phone's sitting there. And as the map's telling the driver to go right or left or whatever the directions, he seemingly just ignores it. He just literally completely ignores the message and drives almost wherever he damn well decides and pleases. So eventually by taking a series of twists and turns, the two passengers in the backseat, my buddy and his, again, buddy, acquaintance and his girlfriend, are now removed from their internal dialogue and are now realizing that something feels a little off.

The journey begins (04:38)

That this guy's not taking the highways to get home. He's navigating these back streets. And so my friend speaks up. Again, this acquaintance speaks up and says, hey, you know, you're missing turns, things like that. This guy just completely ignores them. Almost like he's either deaf or just has a completely different mission. And of course, this concert's over. Conservatively, it has to be 1 o'clock in the morning, probably even later. Pitch Black and this individual, as the story is told, is navigating through some less than pleasant places of downtown. And as they're driving, he starts coming up on this car that's parked the opposite direction on a one-way street. At this point, those internal dialogues of panic and terror are going off inside the two passengers in the back, my friend and his girlfriend. This guy is not paying attention to the Uber directions. He's not listening to reason. He's not talking. All these things are going bad, and they're being led down an alley that's a one-way road that is obvious there's a car in the back of. Almost a deserted alley from the way I remember recalling the story. And so the story proceeds that, and it's from the female's perspective, that her boyfriend is yelling and screaming, almost forcibly trying to unlock the doors, and the guy keeps locking the doors, but they're able to get the car stopped enough to get out of it and basically flee. And this story has went on for 25 minutes. It's a 25-minute Uber ride from hell. So much so that they call the cops right away. They call Uber. They get the guy's Uber, whatever it is, ability to drive Uber shut off. They report the license plate number, and all these things go on. Well, here this happens on Saturday. It's now Monday. Before shooting this episode, I'm swiping through Facebook, again, idly, killing some time, as I shouldn't be. And I see four different women posting the same story, literally copy and paste or sharing it to their wall or whatever it would be. Three Columbus-based, one not. All from the impact of just speaking up. Now, of course, in this post she shares the license plate and the description of the driver. These things are not as relevant for this particular conversation. are not as relevant for this particular conversation. It's sheerly the fact that when something didn't go right, without bashing the person's race, ethnicity, what his intentions were, it's simply a sharing of a situation and speaking up. It's literally this back and forth of speaking up about something that is obviously not right, that we as consumers, I'm a consumer of Uber. I travel to a different city. I hardly ever rent a car. I hop in an Uber. I don't even think about it. But we as consumers of Uber are not always vigilant to the fact that not every driver is a good driver. Not every person behind that wheel has good intentions. I don't know about you, but I hardly ever look at the reviews and ratings. I know I've never canceled a trip based off not seeing enough five-star reviews. And so here you have these people that, again, are fairly well-known in Columbus, at least in the circles that I run in, but have shared this story, and now it's spread all through the community. Like this one situation where they've spoken up is now going to impact tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people's lives. Not from the fact that people are going to boycott Uber. Like that's not the right message here, in my opinion. The right message is to be vigilant, to understand what you're getting into. You know, speaking up is just not always easy. I also relay it to this podcast. I was messaging back and forth with a woman, her and her boyfriend, and I have had a couple phone conversations. And just, you know, becoming friends, navigating some treacherous waters together, however you want to say it. I can't say they're coaching clients. They're just people that are involved in my life. And from that, she's sharing with me that the past couple episodes feel just off, that maybe I've lost my passion for this. Maybe I've lost my fire for this. Maybe I should throw in the towel, take some time off, switch to the format, do anything different than I've been doing, that she just doesn't think it comes out authentic. And for me, I'm immensely appreciative because you're still giving me feedback. Whether it's feedback I want to hear or feedback that I don't like, there's still feedback coming to me.

Shawns format (09:31)

Now, the ironic part of this is the episodes that she's listening to, or that you're listening to, are recorded most of the time two to three weeks prior to them ever launching. So the stories and events that go on during that time period have almost no relevance to daily life. So admittedly, I don't know why the past two episodes based off what this young lady woman is sharing with me, I don't know why they sound off. young lady woman is sharing with me. I don't know why they sound off, but I go into sharing with her that the format's not going to change. Like I look at this as a couple of different mindsets. One, as I've shared with you in the 90 day challenge, there's going to become listener fatigue.

Listener fatigue (10:13)

You as a long time listener, if you've listened to more than 90 of these episodes, there's only so many lessons I can really share. At some point, they all tie back to more than 90 of these episodes, there's only so many lessons I can really share. At some point, they all tie back to some of the same core principles of life. Of course, some episodes you've heard me really fired up, some episodes you've heard me incredibly somber, some episodes touch your soul, and some you just skip right through. That's the nature of a podcast. You see, I can't impact everybody 100% of the time. And admittedly, somewhat selfishly, the podcast is still for me most of the time. It's still me expressing life lessons and things that I gain value from and putting a conscious reminder in my mind. Like this and speaking up. So when this young lady is speaking up that she believes that I might need to take a time out, and I honor her for sharing that with me. So much so that she actually gives me the idea for this particular episode. Because I go on to share with her my goal, although I appreciate the feedback, this podcast will last for 1,460 episodes. There will not be 1,461. There will be 1,460. Why 1,460? Because it's four years of consistent content. Like I don't know any other podcasts that are daily podcasts that have lasted four years straight, seven days a week. In that four years, my life is going to take twists and turns and ups and downs and things that I can't foresee in this moment. And all I can do is continue to learn life's lessons and share them daily. Like that's what this is. Some lessons are going to connect and some lessons are not going to connect. Some are going to be massively impactful, life-altering lessons, and some are going to be just passive, like, don't run a yellow light. Something that, okay, sure, like, whatever. That's the nature of how these ultimately roll off my tongue. Still, here we are at 100 and some odd, probably 150, 160, maybe even 170 episodes in, I still don't have any notes. I'm sitting down in a studio, sitting across the table, looking at the top of Kurt's phenomenally polished head, he's a bald man as he sits across from me, staring back and forth from camera to camera inside the studio, and just letting come out whatever comes. But in this whole journey that I'm on, she's sharing with me how she feels about the journey that I'm on, and I honor her for that. But in that, not only the 1,460 episodes do I share with her, but the ultimate impact for me, the ultimate goal is to impact a million people's lives.

Impact a million peoples lives (12:59)

And so graciously, she feeds back to me, you've got to already be there, is to impact a million people's lives. And so graciously, she feeds back to me, you've got to already be there. You've got a million downloads. Well, I don't look at it that way. As of this moment, I think I have 1.3 million downloads, let's say. But what I don't have is 1 million emails, direct messages, or reviews on the podcast. I don't have that impact that I'm looking for. To the best of my knowledge, if I calculate everything up and squint and maybe add a little bit, I'd probably impact about 7,000 people's lives. and maybe add a little bit, probably impact about 7,000 people's lives. I've made enough of a difference to about 7,000 of you that you've actually reached out to me. 1,371 of you have left me a review. I know that because I can see it as a snapshot statistically inside of iTunes. I say that because of course I want more reviews, but it's strange. I want reviews because it helps with ranking, but I want reviews because I want to know that it mattered I want to know that there was a lesson or something that I said that impacted your life and made it better than it was the day before because that's what this is all about and so this wonderful woman says so eloquently, like it's tough because most people don't want to speak up. Like most people don't want to raise their hand. Most people don't want to step out of line. And as she's sharing that with me, at the same time, I'm getting a message from another listener on Instagram that's saying how impactful my messages are and how thankful he is that he's listening to my podcast and how he's considering leaving his hometown to move to D.C. to be closer to his girlfriend and to expand his possibilities. And all this is going on synchronously where I'm getting less than favorable feedback from one side. I'm getting incredibly favorable feedback from the other. I'm having one side tell me that not enough people speak up and I'm having the other side where people are speaking up. It's like this incredible life balance that I truly believe exists. On a grand enough scale, if the law of conservation of energy is true, then energy and matter can never be created or destroyed. It just changes hands. Same thing would be true for positive and negative feedback. Sure, I absolutely have some one-star reviews inside of iTunes. Unfortunately, I can't count them because it's just a little bar graph. But the most reviews I have are five star reviews. The second most I have are one star reviews. I have almost no three star reviews and everything else is in between. It's such an impactful dichotomy of what really goes on in the world. Inevitably I know people aren't going to like me. I know they're not going to like my message. What's awesome is this isn't for you. If you don't like it, turn it off. Go somewhere else. There's literally like 500 and I think it's 550,000 unique podcasts available in the marketplace right now. Out of that, I statistically rank in the top 30 on all of them in iTunes daily. I say that because some people like what I have to say. Some people are speaking up and giving me reviews and listening all the way through. While some of you would prefer to share the negativity. while some of you would prefer to share the negativity. Say that I'm pompous or, gosh, I've had that it's not centered around women enough. I've had that my viewpoint is skewed. I've had all types of fun reviews.

Like I can take the bad (16:58)

But the majority of them I see that are written are positive, which all comes back to the whole idea of speaking up. If you get value from this ever, speaking up, it becomes so impactful. This woman continues on to give me four or five, maybe even six great podcast topic ideas through Instagram's messenger. I love that. That's so much fuel for me because, sure, I'm living my own life and I'm experiencing my own gifts and my own journey that I share with you, but it's different when a listener asks me to potentially cover, insert whatever it is you want me to cover. Raise your hand if you get a little uncomfortable, if you actually speak up and share with me the good and the bad.

Who do you speak to? (17:45)

Like I can take the bad. I'm good with it. Truly doesn't bother me. Because I know every time one of you gives me something bad to consider, not only is there some truth in it that I need to accept and realize, but also gives me an opportunity to expand, to become more than. If every person on the planet said I had the best podcast ever, then how much better could I ever get? I don't think I could. I'd just be stagnant. Which ultimately what the first correspondence was on Instagram from this woman. Like just be careful, you might be getting stagnant. Like maybe you hit your million downloads and your fire is not there anymore. I had to take a moment and think to myself, is that true? This woman had the balls to speak up and share it with me. It's like, yeah, in some capacity after the first million downloads and 150 some odd episodes, some of my fire might be gone every once in a while. I get self-consumed. I get self-absorbed. I'm shooting training videos for my, you know, I'll call it life optimization coaching. I got a marketing company I'm trying to run. I got a CBD business I'm trying to optimize. I've got podcasts to shoot. I've got a life to live. I've got a wife and a daughter to take care of. And I've got guys in the office to be friends with. And sometimes, if I'm speaking up, this isn't always the top of my priority list. Sometimes the fuel and the fire that I bring to this particular environment, as I sit in this office, and I set apart time, and you might only hear 15, 20, 25 minutes of an episode, but there's pre-production time and a little post-production time and there's mental setup and there's just all these different things that go into it. And sometimes I'm just not all the way fucking in. Like I've realized from my post on Sunday, from the podcast that aired this past Sunday about book reviews. I laughingly shot this episode and I thought it was like the worst episode I'd ever shot before. It was all over the damn place. I'm literally flipping through this book. I'm reading on the back. The guys that wrote the book has a family. I'm noticing things real time and I'm just like stuttering about this fucking book. And not because the book isn't good, but because I don't want to do those reviews anymore. But I've created this confine for myself that I believe I have to put a book review out because that's the original platform that I was going to adhere to. Then I realized I need to take my own advice. I need to speak up. Book reviews are not serving me. I'm done with book reviews. If you like book reviews, I love you for it. Email me and I'll share a bunch of books that I've read. I'll share some impactful messages from them. I'll probably even text you and give you a book review through the microphone on my phone. What I'm not going to do is worry myself about if every Sunday has a book review from now on. It's not that impactful to me. It doesn't speak to me anymore. I would rather cover a metaphysics chapter every Sunday. I'd rather expand the principles that are governing my life currently. These are things that I need to speak up about. And so for this female listener, I sincerely appreciate the fact of you taking the time to message me that some of my fire sounded like it's been gone in the past two or three episodes. It's caused a shift. So I recognize it. I honor it. And I appreciate you. And to the male listener that's considering moving from one city to D.C. to be closer to his girlfriend who we went back and forth with, fucking jump, buddy. Go. You had the balls to speak up and the damnedest thing happens. Anytime I've ever asked somebody for advice, I already knew the answer. I didn't actually need anybody's advice. I was looking for confirmation of what I already knew I was. I didn't actually need anybody's advice. I was looking for confirmation of what I already knew I was going to do. I was looking for somebody from the outside to say, you know what? That's a great idea. And for those of you that have been in college before, and it's like a Tuesday night and you decide you want to go out drinking, you know you have class on Wednesday. What do you do first? You don't just stand up and go to a bar by yourself. You try to convince all the guys or girls that you live with or in your quad or in your dorm or in your apartment like it's a good idea. You're looking for one of them to validate the bad decision you're about to make. But that goes on through all aspects of life. It becomes a very unique situation when you can start to self-evaluate and stand on your own two feet. When you truly know what you're doing is the best for you. And as I went back and forth with this guy through messaging, I encouraged him just to jump. Like find a mentor. He asked how I found mentors. The small town that he lives in does not have very many mentors and he doesn't know how I've done it.

The Plan: Find the Best. (22:43)

Super simple formula. No matter what industry I've ever been in, no matter what I've ever done, I've tried to find the best person I could find. The guy or girl that was highest up the totem pole that I could see and I became friends with them and started asking them for advice. I never stopped that. Car business, internet marketing, sales management, podcasting, I paid a coach. Then once I had enough disposable income, I started paying coaches. I started paying people that had ascended higher up the ranks in both, in really everything, body being balanced and business. People that had a higher vantage point that could help me navigate the waters more smoothly, I started paying them for their time. Sure, in some capacity, this is a shameless plug for my coaching. But you know what? Honestly, fuck me. You don't have to, don't work with me. Find somebody, find a mentor to help consolidate time down. This gentleman said he's 24, 25. You have time on your side right now. Find the person. It's always bullshit when someone says, I can't find a mentor. No, you're just not trying. You are not fucking trying to find the person. If you work for somebody else, there's always a top sales producer. And let's say you are the top sales producer, then there's always a top manager. Let's say you're the top manager, there's a top executive. And if you're the top CEO, I guarantee you can find another CEO in another company that makes more money than you do that you can be friends with. Like the ability to not find a mentor is just you not speaking up. That's all it is. So where in your life today are you not speaking up when you could? Are you not speaking up in a relationship that you're in? That you're not happy? That you're not being fulfilled? Are you doing what I used to do and just block it out and run from it? Find another relationship.

Public Outreach And Personal Growth

What You Need: A Bigger Existence. (24:35)

Double down. Have two at once. Or being an idiot like I was? Maybe it's time you start speaking up. Maybe it's time you address a tough shit now because it's going to come up and bite you in the ass. Maybe it's inside your body where you're not willing to speak up about how your body is not serving you, how it's not nearly as weaponized as you want it to be, how you're carrying the extra fat around your midsection you're not happy with from either drinking too much or eating bad food, but you're not willing to speak up in those social circles and say, look, I'm just not eating fried food today. Or maybe it's in your business where you're not speaking up that you're ultimately unhappy with the position that you have, but because there's stability and consistency, you feel trapped. You feel like you should just stay there instead of speaking up and pushing on the sides of the box and seeing what else comes out. So what I found is consistently in my life, the more you're willing to speak up,

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