Episode 162: Pride | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 162: Pride".


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Intro (00:00)

I'm Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Today's episode, we're going to be covering the topic of pride and how that pride ultimately is limiting you, but can also propel you to new heights. So today's episode is a pseudo listener requested episode. Today's episode is a pseudo-listener-requested episode. I say pseudo based off the fact of it's a meaningful message that I took a note on that was something I wanted to share that also energetically came in at the same time that a listener requested an episode about pride and how that can really slow down your growth. I want to share a story with you around a situation where I was incredibly prideful just in this past week. So as I sit in the studio, I've wanted to make some updates. And I want to make some updates because stagnation bothers the living shit out of me in every part of my life. I've shared on multiple episodes. I believe that we are truly set to expand in life, not stay in one place. That is not just limited to knowledge and capacity. Like sitting in the same office with the same chairs and paint and artwork and stuff, after a while just bothers me. Like I need consistent external stimulation.

Various Adversities & Leap Of Faith

Mostly a Visual Move (01:46)

And sure, I'm sure could say there's some sort of deficiency in my programming for that to be the case. Nonetheless, I found it to serve me very well, so I own it. But in that, in this podcast studio, I've decided, for those of you that see this on Instagram or YouTube or wherever you consume video content, that I wanted some nice blue and black egg crates attached to the walls. Now, egg crates typically are used for sound deadening. Well, in this office, especially with the walls that I put them on, they don't help with sound deadening at all. It's completely a visual thing. I have a very high quality microphone. We've got two five eighths inch thick drywall slabs with sound deadening insulation between them. Like this 16 by 16 box that we shoot podcasts in is pretty soundproof. It's not perfect. It's not a production level studio, but it's something that we're proud of that we made. Any sort of sound that ever comes into this room comes from the opposite two walls that this egg crate's attached to, which is somewhat ironic, because I'm just realizing that as I'm saying it out loud. This is a real-time revelation for me. So 100% of this was visual, not functional. Like so 100% of this was visual, not functional. So in that, I order a couple boxes of this blue and black egg crate from Amazon. Comes in, put it up. Of course, I didn't measure anything. I would encourage everybody on this podcast to go to Kolbe, K-O-L-B-E dot com and take the Colby Index. The Colby Index is a personality profile that will take you down a path to show you if you're one of four different types of personalities. In that, again, there's no right from wrong in this. It's just who you are. Well, I am on the Colby Index, a 9 or a 10. I've taken it twice on the quick start scale. Everything else is like a two or a three, but I'm a nine or a 10 on a quick start. So what does that equate to? What does that translate to for you? Quick start is I see something and I go, I do no research. I don't think it all the way through. I figured out as I'm fucking it up and I just run like I just go. Egg crates, perfect example. I could have measured both walls that are 16 by eight. Realize the fact of the square footage I needed to cover. Order the proper amount of egg crates in all in one foul swoop and been much more efficient. Instead, I hop on Amazon. I research these little egg crate looking things that are 12 inches by 12 inches, so one square foot. And I think to start with, I bought 10 boxes. 10 boxes of, I think there's eight per box. Either way. Well, that doesn't cover the whole wall.

Failed Plan (04:34)

It doesn't even cover like a cover the whole wall. It doesn't even cover like a third of the wall. So here I am with this little weird corner behind where I'm shooting. I've switched around the office and have it set up in a certain way where we brought more lights in. I'm just playing with some different things, seeing how it works. Well, the first load of these egg crates come in with tape, double-sided tape. I mean, this is brilliant. Just rip off the tape, put one piece right in the middle, slap it up on the wall. Another piece of tape off, put in the middle of the egg crate, slap it up against the wall. So you create this checkerboard looking pattern, blue, black, blue, black. Well, by the time I'm through the first 10 boxes, I'm out of tape and I'm out of egg crates. Like, all right, I'm going to order more. I can do this more efficiently though. I'll buy 24 boxes of egg crates and I'll get 3M double-sided tape and long rolls where we can just sit and snap, you know, clip off little pieces and make it go quicker. And so that comes in and I have the, all of my car really from ceiling to roof and the entire trunk filled with these egg crates, because the boxes that they come in won't fit. So I have to take them out of the boxes and I fill up my car with it and drive into work. It's hot in Ohio right now too, for some reason, like it's warm. It's like unseasonably 85 degrees sweating, like hot. And so I've, Kurt come downstairs and we're carrying up all these egg crates and put them in the office and we try the double-sided tape and we hang up, put them in the office and we try the double-sided tape and we hang up probably six, eight rows, floor to ceiling. As I'm in here recording some content, what ends up happening is they start falling off the wall behind me. They just start sagging and then they fall off. I'm like, shit. and then they fall off. I'm like, shit. Now I have no idea what to do because I've got content that I'm recording that I probably shouldn't have egg crates falling off the back because it's distracting. I've got this plan laid out that has now kind of hatched and formulated and morphed as I've went along. And, you know, here we sit with none of it really working. So I'm like, I got it. Four blocks down from where the office is at, there's a Lowe's, And, you know, here we sit with none of it really working. So I'm like, I got it. Four blocks down from where the office is at, there's a Lowe's. You know, for those of you who don't know what a Lowe's is, it's Home Depot, Lowe's, basically a very large hardware store. Maybe it's a Midwest thing. I don't know where it's at. Probably all over the country. But nonetheless, it's just four blocks away. I'm like, Kurt, I got it. I'm going to go get a bite to eat. I'm going to stop into Lowe's and I'm going to find some shit.

Buying a Lot But Do I Need It? (07:06)

I'm going to fix this. I'll get us some better double-sided tape. I think I needed maybe an X-Acto knife. I needed things. And of course, I guess, did I really need any of these things or was it more of a want? I wanted to buy some things. So I go to lunch. I do that and then drive to Lowe's. As I pull in Lowe's parking lot, there's construction on the left-hand side. So all the cars are all pushed to the right-hand side. So this Lowe's, the room that we're sitting in, we bought all the hardware and materials from the same Lowe's. It's never busy. You pull in and it just feels like from condensing down the parking lot, it feels like they are packed. Now they're not, but it feels like it. As I walk in, I'm on the phone. Go figure. Like my entire day, if I'm not recording content or posting some sort of probably nonsensical story on social media, or if I'm not coaching people, I'm on like a one-on-one phone call.

I Am a Sorrow (07:56)

And so I'm walking around Lowe's and I've got my Bluetooth in my ear. Yeah, I'm one of those guys. I have that thing that goes around your ear, the jawbone or whatever it's called. Got my phone in my pocket and I'm just like pacing up and down the aisles. So I'm not really focused on what I'm searching for, but in my mind I need some sort of. Better double sided tape. Like the 3M stuff I have is not good enough. There's got to be some better tape here at Home Depot. Lowe's rather. So I'm walking around. Walking around. Walking around. I can't find it. I can't find any tape anywhere. I feel like I go up and down every aisle at least twice. But I'm still on the phone this whole time. So eventually I hang up the phone. I'm still walking. I'm still walking. I eventually find some Gorilla Glue. Now Gorilla Glue, for those of you that haven't used that before, is this incredibly strong glue that I feel like literally could bond a bowling ball to a ceiling and it wouldn't fall off. Like incredibly strong stuff. Like, all right, I'll use a couple of these little, they're small. I'll say like three or four ounce bottles of Gorilla Glue. I'm super proud of myself. Like I got this. But I walk around the store some more and I go over and I eventually I asked for help. I asked, I asked the guy that works there, like, where can I find more Gorilla Glue? Where can I find tape? How does this stuff work? I need some rubber flooring for out, out in the, uh, you know, the concrete floored studio part as we record some videos. As I look down at my phone, I realize I've been in this damn store for 45 or 50 minutes. A crazy amount of time. And even once he recommends liquid nails, which would have been more efficient to hang the crates, like, nah, nope.

I Need Liquid Nails (09:33)

I like the Gorilla Glue guy in my hand. So I pick up an extra bottle. So I'm all proud of myself. I'm walking back nah, nope. I like the Gorilla Glue guy in my hand. So I pick up an extra bottle. So I'm all proud of myself. I'm walking back into our office with two bottles of Gorilla Glue. I don't remember what else was in the bag, but there's something else in the bag that I probably didn't need. And I start ripping stuff open. But yet I'm on another phone call. So there's Kurt sitting at his desk. And I walk in. I've got this Gorilla Glue. And I see that we had some other Gorilla Glue from another project. And it's over in like kind of, I'll say the hardware section of our office, which equates to literally a staircase that we've stacked stuff on top of like the entrance so that we can easily access it. Like it is certainly not a hardware section. It's like our catch-all. And so Kurt and I come in here and we're using these, you know, And so Kurt and I come in here and we're using these Gorilla Glue squeeze bottles. And what feels like 10 minutes pass, it's probably 30. But we get another four, five, six rows done a piece and we're out of Gorilla Glue. And the walls aren't even halfway covered. And I'm like, just shit. So pride sneaks into this where twofold, it's going to get better. First thing where I feel very frustrated is that I allowed pride to get the best of me and didn't just walk into Lowe's and ask for help immediately. I didn't hang up the phone and just focus on the task at hand. I thought I could do everything. I thought my pride had convinced me that I could walk around. I didn't have to ask for directions or help. I was just could do everything. My pride had convinced me that I could walk around. I didn't have to ask for directions or help. I was just convinced. I can find this. I remember I had purchased double-sided tape and wall hangers from Lowe's before, and I thought I could recall where it was at. Maybe they moved it, or maybe I just couldn't. But nonetheless, I was there for 45 minutes, and I can never get back. I can't ever get back that 45 minutes because my freaking pride got in the way. And more importantly, when I do find somebody and I ask him for his opinion, because he doesn't seem very engaged and he doesn't seem very genuine. And probably because I'm mad at myself and I'm not even receptive when he tells me to get liquid nails, I tell him thanks. And then I don't get the liquid nails. I just get another thing of Gorilla Glue. Which then causes us not to complete the task at hand one more time.

Leap (11:51)

Days get, you know, drawn out. We don't get all the egg crates on the wall. Now this doesn't matter to anybody else. I fully know as you're listening to this, you're like, who the fuck cares about egg crates? I get it. Admittedly, I don't really care about egg crates. I care that the corner of this room that I sit in, from the way these two cameras are angled, you can't tell that the other half of the walls are not egg crated. You just can't tell. But now it matters because I want to complete the task at hand because I have another corner of the room that has egg crates stacked up in it. I have half-covered walls. I've got art all over the floor, and I feel incomplete. So yet again, I now have to go back to Lowe's for a second trip and get the Gorilla Glue, the X-Acto knife, well, Gorilla Glue being a tube of it, liquid nails, one of the liquid nail guns, and an X-Acto knife. Difference being, because I've been present in mind and realized how much time I pissed away yesterday, when we walk in the front door, I tell Kurt, because he's with me at this point, look, I know they're on aisle two because I was just there yesterday. I know exactly where they're at. There happens to be a guy standing on the end of aisle two. I ask him which one is best to use on foam. He looks. He's not really sure. I grab a can of Gorilla Glue liquid nail, spin it around. It says it's good for foam. I'm like, cool, we got it. I ask him if we should get one tube or two. Kurt recommends two. I don't even fight him. I grab a second tube. They're $7.98 a piece. Instead of fumbling around, I ask the guy, well, where's a liquid nail gun? Where do I load it into the cartridge? He's like, well, we got three different models. We got a $1.99, we got a $3.99, and a $12.99. I grab the $1.99 because it's a one-time project. I can't comprehend why anybody would want a $13.99, you know, little handheld nail gun thing. I ask him why. He gives me something of you're outside and it won't rust and it's composite. Doesn't matter. It's not what I want. So I quickly grabbed the $1.99 one. As I'm walking away from him, I say, what aisle are the exacto knives? He tells me, you know, aisle four all the way at the end, plus there's some at some other part of the store. I don't even hear the other part. He tells me, you know, aisle four all the way at the end, plus there's some at some other part of the store. I don't even hear the other part. I instantly go to aisle four. I look at the knives.

Getting Ourselves to Ask... (14:08)

There's six to choose from. We grab one that's blue because I'm inherently attracted to blue. Blue enlists its trust. There's a whole bunch of reasons why in marketing you should use a navy blue color. So I grab it. And we are out the door in all encompassing less than 10 minutes. 35 minutes more efficient than the last time I let pride get in my way. You see, I had no pride walking into Lowe's the second time around. I knew walking in that I didn't know all the answers. I openly asked for and accepted help. When I was given help, I actually applied it. When I applied the help, it became more efficient. Through that efficiency, we got back to the office and hung up a bunch of egg crates. Still didn't get it done because the day got away from us and I didn't focus on it. But here we sit, like another day removed, all the egg crates will be up before we leave the office today. And pride no longer has to be the stumbling block. You see, I really thought about it and I couldn't even come up with a number to count all the times that I let pride get the best of me. Like where my foolish pride didn't allow me to ask for help when I needed it.

Where In Your Life You Struggle to Ask For Help (15:16)

Like that I was supposed to have all this figured out. And if I asked for help, it meant I was less than something. You know, if I had to walk into Lowe's and ask for help, it was that I was less intelligent than the guy that was working there or gal. If I couldn't figure out how to do something, I had to ask for help. It meant that I was not good enough to be able to figure it out on my own. There are these series of stories that I had built in my life that all pertain to having to ask someone for help. What's ironic about this, if I walked into a doctor's office and I had a gaping wound on my leg, as I've had, I would ask someone to help sew it up because I know I don't have the skill set to do it the right way but short of that my pride has stopped me from asking anybody for help think about your own life where in your life are you struggling right now to ask for help? Where is pride slowing down the progression that you are supposed to be experiencing? You know, I put out this one of seven challenge to work with seven people to help them level up their lives. I get somewhere between 15 and 20,000 downloads an episode. And I'm probably rounding up. I'll say between 10,000 and 15,000. Out of that, I'll even round down and say 1,000 of you, or less than 10%, had some sort of interest in it. So I could then assume that the other nine to 14,000 people that consume that message, that their life does not need one bit of additional value, that it's as high up as it's ever going to go, that there is no way their life could get any better. And I think about that, and I'm like, how foolish are we? How much is pride eliminating our chance to grow? You see, I get it if you see a marketing message on Facebook or Instagram or your email or a billboard or a TV commercial of somebody along the way, somebody that you come across that's saying they can help make your life better. I get it. You haven't built any rapport or trust with them. But if you're one of the 10 to 15,000 people that listen to the podcast on a daily or consistent or semi-regular basis, we've already built rapport together. You know what I stand for. Why wouldn't you jump in when I'm offering a slightly better or different way to look at the world? You're either consuming this every day or semi-regular. I'm just going to say every day. You're consuming this shit every day because you're waiting for me to say some crazy shit or you're consuming it because you get something out of it to try to apply to your life to make it better. Why wouldn't you then want to get a front row seat to make your life as good as possible? I'm going to bet it's pride. That you talked yourself out of it. That it was too awkward. That you didn't think you were good enough. You didn't know how much it cost. You were unsure. All the self-defeating, limiting belief stories that you've told yourself stopped that from happening. And sure, if you want to email me now and have a meaningful conversation about how some things can work, I'd be honored to have that with you.

Significance Of Self-Doubt

Usefulness of Self-Doubt (19:07)

But the crazy part is this isn't even a way to drum up business at this moment. This is just factual from you, the listener. Like I wasn't expecting a hundred percent adoption rate, but fucking 10% is crazy to me. And I'm probably even rounding up. I don't have the exact number in front of me. I don't know the exact number or the exact metrics. So if that's the case in something as simple as a podcast with someone that shouldn't be a stranger anymore because you've heard all the shit of my life. Imagine all the other places that foolish pride is limiting your growth. Maybe it's in the gym. You're working out, you're not seeing the results you want, but you're afraid to ask someone that looks to be more in shape for some assistance because you're afraid of being judged. You're afraid of being ridiculed. You're afraid of being talked down to. So instead of asking for help and potentially even paying for it, you just keep going along the path you're on now, not getting the results you desire. Certainly not as quickly as you could. Maybe it's in the relationship component of your life. Maybe you're yearning for that relationship that's truly on fire. The one that, you know, you can't wait to get home to your partner. The one where sex is abundant and everything feels phenomenal. And you know some people that you think have that, that always seem to just have that loving connection, but you're afraid to ask them how they created it because you don't want to be seen as less than. Or maybe it's in business where you've got this great idea and you want to launch a company or you want to start a side hustle as people call it, but you don't really know how. You just know there's something calling you that's bigger than what you're doing right now. But instead of finding someone to mentor you or ask for help so they can solve some issues that you have right now, you just keep waiting for it to magically fucking happen and it's never going to. Think of all the different ways that this foolish pride that we all carry around limits our growth. What I can guarantee you with no question is if you find a way to start breaking down the pride that you carry, that eliminates you from asking difficult questions and getting meaningful impact and input from people that have a higher skill set and knowledge than you do, if you can break that down, every day you'll get shit done.

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