Episode 166: Lewis Howes | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "Episode 166: Lewis Howes".
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I'm Ryan Nidel, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Today I have a very special Delaware, Ohio guest. Yes, baby. In the studio today, a rare situation, where I have Mr. Lewis Howes here. How are you, Lewis? My man, it's good to be here. Man, it's phenomenal to have you here. Just even catching up in the pre-show interview of where you've come from, I personally had no idea. I see you on Ellen, I see you on Good Morning America, I see you traveling the country, making massive impact you travel in the country, like, making massive impact. But here you are, like, starting from humble beginnings, literally, like, 30 minutes down the road from me. No, I was down. I mean, from this office, I live on my sister's couch a block away. Like, right off Weber Road. We're right here off 70 and Weber Road. Yeah. And so, driving in, I was like, man, I used to listen to these trains every single day. Every hour, there's a train coming by. Yeah. And it was right by my sister's house. And for a year and a half when I was just living there for free, eating ramen, noodles, and mac and cheese off of her, I would just listen to the train and just think about how am I going to get off this couch? Like what am I going to do with the rest of my life? I just got done playing pro football, got injured playing arena football, and was devastated. I don't know if you played sports. You looked like you did. Yeah, a little bit. I didn't have the success. So I played high school football and didn't play around in college, was too focused on girls and drinking and making mistakes in my life. Yeah, but you had a career-ending injury, right? Yeah, exactly. I broke my wrist diving for a football to catch a ball in the arena league. And that was it, man. I actually played the whole season with a broken wrist i broke it in the second game and then um at the end the the surgeon was like you probably should have stopped and got a surgery like when this happened but you know we're like dumb yeah jock ego egomaniacs and i was like i can deal with the pain and i could but then there's a price to pay always when you do that right there's a price to anything yeah and I got to play and live in the glory of like catching footballs on on Sundays or whatever but I also it meant that my recovery was that much longer so six months in a full arm cast they took a bone out of my hip put it in my wrist and then another year because I couldn't straighten my. If you're in a cast like this for six months in a 90-degree position, for those that are listening, you really don't have strength afterwards. So I could only bend it a little bit for months, and then I just had to keep learning how to re-bend and strengthen my wrist. And that was just a heartbreaking time because this was end of 2007 when I had surgery. I got the cast off around March of 2008 and I didn't have a college degree this was the height of the economic I guess depression of that decade yeah and people with masters weren't getting jobs and I was like who's gonna hire me I didn't even go to school to learn I just went to like chase girls and play football, right? Of course. And I remember I was like, how do I not go down this path in my life where I was a college or arena league all-star, right? It wasn't even like an NFL stud.
Journey And Lessons With Lewis Howes
How to Make Your Life More Than What Its Been (03:10)
I was just like an arena league player. I was like, how do I make my life more than just what it's been of just being an athlete? Who am I going to be what am i going to do how do i make a living and how do i not live on my sister's couch the rest of my life like a bum because i felt like a i really felt like a loser yeah i didn't feel like a man like if i can't even pay my own rent like i'm just i'm just not doing anything in my life but i had no clear direction and i said okay how do i what do I, what do I know? I know about sports and I know that when I play sports, I'm at the best in my life. So how do I recreate my life? Like it's a sport. What do I need? I need some great coaches because the teams that I had great coaches elevated me. The teams that had crappy coaches, I was always miserable. Our team wasn't good and we didn't achieve our goals. So I need to find some great coaches. And I know you have a great coaching program. And if people are listening, just sign up with Ryan. If you're, if you feel stuck in your life, you need a coach. And I'm sure there's a link that you'll put at the end of this where people can learn. Shameless plug. I'll take it. I appreciate it, Louis. Thanks. But coaching is the key. Yeah, absolutely. I don't do anything without a coach.
Coaching Is the Key (04:27)
I have coaching with my relationships, with my business, with my health. Every day I have a trainer. You know, I'm always having a coach because I can do something on my own at a high level, but you can always do it better with someone who's great that's coaching you. So I structured my life like a sport. I said I need to give myself a season because if I just have no agenda, no goals, no nothing, and I'm just walking through life aimlessly, I'm not going to get excited. So what can I set up that's a three to three and a half month season that I can create a structure? Because in football, in college, we would have an agenda. Every single day, there was a piece of paper hanging on my locker, in everyone's locker, that was the schedule for that practice. Every 10 minutes was organized. You know, 10 minutes putting your pads on, 10 minutes walking on the field and stretching, 10 minutes of special teams, 10 minutes of coaches talk, whatever it may be, five minutes of a water break, everything was organized. And I felt like with organization, that's when I could really be dangerous in a positive way. With zero organization, you're walking through life aimlessly. So my life became now obsessive around making it like a sport. And that's kind of how I got out of that darker place by having structure, finding coaches and giving myself a challenge every single day to improve. And what an impactful lesson there. Just as you're listening, like to take this, you had this meteoric rise, essentially.
Responsive lesson through Lewis (05:50)
I mean, you had a phenomenal college career. Yeah. It's a two sport, all American. I broke a world record, all these things. Yeah. I mean, crazy stats. Check out Lewis' stats when you get a chance. It was nuts what you did. Then you go Arena League. You're ascending up and then it stops. You hit the wall. There's this energetic force. Literally hit a wall. Literally. Exactly. And you find yourself back on your sister's couch, or on your sister's couch. From there you shared with me you moved to your brother's couch. Yeah, three and a half. Yeah, moving up through the family ranks. You start charging a little bit of rent. And you take a leap into digital marketing. That's it man. Yeah for whatever reason this is 2008 2009 So like that's when social media was kind of picking up like Twitter was a thing in 2008 Facebook became more of a thing like I was on in 2004 when it was just for college kids and you have a college email Address same thing, but it became more of like a business thing than just like, you know, look at girls that you want to date on, that go to your college, right? Yeah. And LinkedIn, again, one of my coaches and mentors was like, why don't you check out LinkedIn? This was when I had maybe 12 to 15 million people on there. I think it's got a few hundred million now. And he was like, check it out because I hear other people are finding job opportunities. So why don't you go on there. I think it's got a few hundred million now. And he was like, check it out because I hear other people are finding job opportunities. So why don't you go on there? And so like any good student athlete would do, I was like, okay, I'm going to spend six hours a day training on LinkedIn. Like my coach and mentor, who I really admired, told me to do this. I'm going to do it. I'm just going to trust it. And I spent about six months on LinkedIn, six hours a day while I was recovering with my wrist. I was just typing with one hand, connecting with people one by one. Originally local business leaders in Columbus, reaching out and meeting them for lunch and coffee and things. And then I was reaching out to just bigger executives in the sports industry and CEOs in the world as well. That's where I got my chops of building relationships. For six months, one by one messaging people, emails on LinkedIn. And people were pretty responsive back then on LinkedIn. So you send them a message, they would get it in a normal email box. And I was in shock at how many people were willing to talk to me. Eventually people would reach out to me and say, Hey man, you're having a great looking profile. Can you help me like develop my profile and make it like nicer? Because I'm trying to find opportunities as well. And so I start helping friends for free doing this and find out I'm really good at like seeing how to optimize a profile, but also just like hearing what their goals were and saying, well, this is what you need to do. You know, as an athlete mind, I felt like I could have a clear vision of how to reverse engineer any problem, kind of like what you've done with the podcast and your business. That's always been my skill is having clear vision.
Three major shifts that connects market interest and feel a fulfillment (08:29)
On the football field, I knew where the gaps were to be to catch the ball, basketball court, everything. And in business, it started to transition that way. So I started to, friends started reaching out to me organically for advice on LinkedIn because they saw how many people I was connected to. They'd asked for introductions. They saw my profile. Then I did it for one guy and he said, here's a hundred bucks. This is going to change my business. You have no clue. I was like, really? You're going to give me a hundred dollars for doing something that I'm just good at, that I like doing, that it was fun for me. He was like, absolutely. You have no idea how this is going to impact my business. You've already helped me so much in like 30 minutes. I was like, huh. Now, I wasn't making any money at this time, but I was like, huh, maybe I could do more of this. And so I start promoting myself as like a LinkedIn trainer, like a coach, someone who could teach this. And more and more people started showing up and saying, hey, can you help me? Can you help me? And I just started saying, yeah, I'm $100 an hour. I had no clue what I was doing, but I was like, give me $100, and I'll do this, and here's what you'll get. I started to learn by making mistakes. Then I started charging $200 a session, then $300 a session. And I remember I was working as an intern at another mentor's place at the time. It was an invention company called Trident Design. He was a brilliant inventor. Just down in the short north, he had a house there. And I worked in the closet of the kitchen. I had a little desk in the closet of the kitchen. Literally, it looked like there was clothes hanging on either side of me, and my desk was inside this little cubby hole in the kitchen. hanging on either side of me and my desk was inside this little cubby hole in the kitchen. And I was doing this one on one session over the phone or over Skype with someone at the time. And I remember I made $300 doing this. And I said to myself, for whatever reason, I was kind of a slow learner, right? But for whatever reason, I realized, man, I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to trade my time for $300.
Going broke again to perpetuate the lifestyle & how Lewis got back on track (10:23)
Even though I'm broke. And working out of a kitchen closet and an intern at this place, and I'm not really making any money. $300 in an hour, I can't really generate wealth if I'm doing this, trading my time for dollars like this. Of course not. And so then I started to think, well, what if I wrote a book and got all this information out there and sold it to millions of people, right? That was my idea. Got to be that easy. Right? Yeah. And I was like, well, I have no clue how to write a book. I have no clue what I'm doing. So what do I need to do? I need to find a coach, someone who has written books, and have them work with me and educate me. I do that. Write a book about LinkedIn. It was the second book ever written about LinkedIn called Linked Working. And I think I sell maybe like 5,000 copies, right?
Webinar journey begins (11:09)
My mind was like, I'm going to sell this to everywhere, but I think maybe it sold 5,000. But that got me into the mindset of like, at least I'm able to take an idea and start scaling it. I can sell the same thing over and over as opposed to trade my time. And then I had an opportunity to do a live webinar to teach LinkedIn. A guy reached out to me who was a big name at the time. His name was Joel an opportunity to do a live webinar to teach LinkedIn. A guy reached out to me who was a big name at the time. His name was Joel Calm, a friend of mine. And he was big in the online marketing space. And he said, I'm doing this free social media boot camp. This is 2009, May. And he goes, I've got the Twitter person. I've got the YouTube person. I've got the Facebook expert. But I don't know anyone talking about LinkedIn back in 2009. Except for you, Lewis. You're like talking about it. You wrote a book about it. Can you come on and teach my audience LinkedIn? And at the end, I want you to sell a program that you have, and I'm going to take 50%. Yeah. And I said, perfect. Done. Now, I didn't know what a webinar was. But I was like, this guy was like a big deal. So I was like, whatever he tells me to do, I'm going to do it. It's my opportunity. I never knew what a webinar was, never was on one. I couldn't speak in public. I didn't have the skills yet. I never created a slide deck. I didn't have a sales page, and I didn't have a product to sell. And I had two weeks to put this together. And so what did I do? I found someone who had done it before, a coach essentially, who guided me through the whole process. And that accelerated my learning to the point where I was able to at least have some janky slides and figure out a PayPal link and tell people that, hey, I'm gonna deliver something later if you buy this at the end of this webinar. Yeah. That way I didn't have to create something quickly. If no one bought, then it was going to waste my time. And at the end of the webinar, I taught this LinkedIn training for free. There were 600 people on and I was terrified. I was freaking out. It was in my brother's house still. I was paying $250 a month in rent. Yeah. I kicked them out of the house, him and his wife, so that I could have some alone time and just practice and be ready. And at the end of the webinar, I made $6,200 from this janky PayPal link. And it was like the Tom Cruise moment on Oprah where I was jumping up and down on the couch. Literally, my brother and his wife had a nappy-looking cat named Leaf Moose. And I picked up this cat and was screaming at it. I was like, we are rich. Freaking out. Of course. And that's when the light bulb kind of went off again. I was still not living on my own. I was only making a little bit of money. And I said, this is my chance out of here. This is my chance to get an apartment by myself. That was my whole goal for the season of life. How do I get off my sister's couch to my brother's to pay a little bit of money? And then how do I find enough money to get my own apartment? Because then it's like my basic needs were met by myself. And this was that moment. I made 6,200 bucks and I was like, I'm not stopping. And I went and was doing a webinar every week or every two weeks for years. And I sold this one LinkedIn program for $150 for a long time. Then I created other programs. People were like, okay, can you help me with LinkedIn? Can you help me on Facebook? Can you help me on Twitter? Can you help me with social media in general? So I started learning all these platforms, creating other programs and online courses around that.
Getting to a healthy business (14:18)
And in two and a half years, we were doing about 2.3 million a year very quickly. Yeah, and other than traffic expense and the original setup of creating things, that's a very healthy business. It's nice. I won't get into the finite numbers, but it's a good business. It's great for me. And I felt like, I was living in Columbus, Ohio, I was like a king, man. Absolutely. And I wasn't spending a dime. I was living in an apartment that was $4.95 a month down in the short north on First and High. It was the cheapest apartment I could find that was a one-bedroom, right? Yeah. That was like a cheap one-bedroom building. Everything else was like $700. And I had no car. I was walking everywhere, saving my money. I don't buy anything. And I was just like, I don walking everywhere, saving my money. I don't buy anything. And I was just like, I don't want to go broke again.
Lewis and money (15:07)
Yeah. So I'm going to save as much as I can. And it was a great time though, man, just like hustling nonstop for two and a half years. My health started to go to crap because all I cared about was making money and sales. So I didn't sleep. You know those quotes where people say like I think 50 Cent said sleep is for those who are broke and I think that's actually what I lived by at the time I was like I'm not gonna sleep I'm just gonna work hard and hustle yeah and I realized quickly that my health is out of integrity like I was getting irritable I was angry I was getting more like resentful and reactive and And sleep is actually the most powerful thing for you. And your health is everything. If you don't have the energy, then you're not going to be able to build your business. So I think sleep is actually really important now. Well, for sure. And I want to touch base on a couple of things you said. You as a listener, you might not know this, Lewis, but I've had a couple episodes on how to make an extra 40 grand a year.
How Lewis used education and networking to create a 2 million dollar course (15:57)
I think that impacts the majority of the people in the world. That's a big number to hit. And you start really looking at it. Like Lewis just shared, shared a story how he spent six months mastering a skill for himself. He didn't do it because there was money in the backside. He did it because he thought he needed to. Absolutely. Then he found someone to mentor him, to teach him how to do something. Then he didn't really know how to do it and he did it anyways. And then he kept doing it and perfecting it until he turned into a $2 million business. Like There's no better story for you sitting there listening, not sure how to take that step. Find something you're passionate about and become elite at it, and then train other people on how to be elite. And when you get stuck, find somebody that knows and pay them a little bit of money for some time. That's it, man. It's just that simple. Once I started to make money, then I could start to hire people to do things so I wasn't doing them all myself. Because in the beginning, I was doing everything and trying to figure it out. And that's a recipe for disaster because you can only go so far alone, but you can go much farther with a great team. So you've got to find people quickly. Even when you don't feel like you're ready, I think you should start hiring someone part-time to alleviate a few hours of work for yourself each day so that you can focus on mastering skills, building relationships, or generating more sales. Well, that's another part you're touching on is that I believe in a four-dimensional lifestyle, body being balance and business. You have to have some sort of combination of the four across the board. And you went really heavy in that business quadrant. You started seeing- All in. Yeah, your body started to deteriorate. I'm going to guess you didn't have a healthy relationship probably. No, I was just hooking up with a bunch of girls at the time, 24, 25. And Arena District became my nightly place to go down to in Columbus. For sure. But they started calling me Fluis for Fat Louis because I gained about 50 pounds. 50 pounds. I was eating like I was playing professional football without training and without recovering with sleep. Yeah. And just eating candy all day just to get me through working all night, right? Because I was like, I got to make more money. I got to make more money. Because I didn't want to go back to that place of feeling scarce and broke. Yeah. I was so terrified of that. Absolutely. So I was willing to sacrifice my health. But that probably set me back a little bit because, again, I was so terrified of that. So I was willing to sacrifice my health, but that probably set me back a little bit because again, I was more reactive and I wasn't as, as graceful, I would say in, in business partnerships, relationships, everything. And I think that, that hurt me early on, but taught me power lessons too. Of course. And then take me through. So you've, you've created an online presence for yourself. You've created courses. Then all of a sudden, like I started first hearing about you with School of Greatness. Sure. Like the book. And then we have a podcast. I mean, you're on a whole different level than just internet marketing now. What was the progression from the IM world into author into Ellen? It's interesting because I, yeah, it's been a fun journey. I'm very grateful for all of it. The IM world was a game changer for all of it. And the I am world was a game changer for me because it taught me marketing. It taught me persuasion. It taught me influence. It taught me sales. It taught me networking. It taught me everything. And I think those are the key foundations to building a business. So I'm very grateful that I got into internet marketing early on. And I was never like the best at one thing. I was like 80% really good at a lot of things, which allowed me to communicate with the programmers and the designers and other people that I needed to, to speak the language of kind of like every area to build what I wanted. But I think I realized I went to so many masterminds which were game changers for me. But I went to all the internet marketing masterminds and I felt like there was just – there was something like a presence of the heart that was missing, an impact that was missing. And I kind of – and name for themselves, I felt like, at least back in the early 2010 range, I felt like it was all about making money. For sure. That's when I jumped in. Right? Exactly. I mean, who doesn't want to make money? I'm all for making as much as you can, right? And I was living that lifestyle where I was like, we got to make more. We got to make more.
Why Lewis started podcasting and the School of Greatness (20:03)
We got to make more. And I started to see that I was making decisions on making money as opposed to what's the best for win, win, win for everyone. Like for all these decisions we make. And what's going to really leave an impact on people's lives that we're doing. And I started to get into some kind of, I would say, disagreements with my business partner at the time. Because I brought in a business partner early on in the LinkedIn stuff. Once I did this webinar, I started doing more with another guy, and we really built up this business together. And I felt like we were not clear on our visions moving forward. We weren't aligned. I felt like he wanted to do more of the internet marketing, make as much money as possible, and impact people, but really that space, and I wanted to do more creative, fun things that were evolving and innovative. And so I sold the company to him because I felt like I just didn't want to be associated in that space only as that. Not that it's bad or wrong, but just I didn't want to be associated as an internet marketer. It's not what I want my legacy to say on my tombstone. Great internet marketer. That's not what I cared about. But I knew that this was a powerful tool to get my message out there to the world. Like internet marketers and media buyers know how to spread a message. And it's the reason for presidents winning in the last few elections. Like all these things are because you have great marketing campaigns. Great storytellers, great marketing campaigns. So I said, you know what, I need to completely reinvent myself. This was about 30 years old, about five, five and a half years ago. I was like, I'd sold the business. I had about six months where I was feeling really stuck in my life. I just sold this company, but just didn't feel good about the business partnership, how we kind of ended things.
How Lewis Got Started With Podcasting (21:46)
I was going through a bad breakup and an intimate relationship with my girlfriend at the time. I just moved from New York City to L.A., and I felt kind of stuck being there, going through all these changes, and not knowing what my identity was moving forward or what I wanted to do that I took this time to kind of like really connect to my heart and see who do I want to be this next season of my life you know I've made a lot of money I've had these accomplishments but what's next for me and I was stuck in traffic in LA thinking about this and so many people were miserable around me in traffic at the time and I was used to walking in Columbus in the short north I was used to walking in New York City when I moved there but in LA you drive everywhere and people were miserable driving they're all stuck trying to go like two miles and it took an hour and I just felt frustrated in my life and I remember being like gosh everyone is stuck and what's the thing I could create to solve this problem for people that are stuck in traffic or just like feeling stuck like me in my life in their lives I was like this like maybe this audio thing like people are like listening to radio and audio like maybe this podcasting thing which I've been hearing about a little bit this is back in 2012 I was like maybe people would listen to this if I created something and for the last five years, I'd been building so many powerful relationships on LinkedIn that I was interviewing them essentially one on one. With like the greatest leaders. And I was like, but no one was able to hear these things. Could you imagine if people could hear the stuff that I was asking them and what they were sharing? So I called two friends in that car ride who had podcasts. Pat Flynn was one of them, he has a Smart Passive Income podcast. And Derek Halpern, who's got Social Triggers. I called them and I go, tell me about this podcast thing. Like, do you make any money? Does anyone listen? Is it fun? And both of them said it was the funnest thing that they do in their business, that they have the most engaged audience in that vertical of their business. And a lot of people sign up as customers through their podcasts. And I was like, I believe this is the next wave. Like smartphones at this time in 2012 were getting more adaptive to like the podcast world. I knew that they were going to be on the phone. I knew that they were going to be in cars eventually. And I was just like, I feel like this could be a thing. And I've always felt like the dumbest person because I wasn't able to learn well in school. I had a second grade reading level in eighth grade. I was always in the bottom four of my class because our grade cards would get ranked per kid in the class. So I was always in the bottom four. And I felt like school was kind of a waste because it made me feel more insecure that I wasn't able to learn from that practice than when I was on the sports field. I was really able to learn that way. So I said, I want to create a new school for the world, a school of all the things I wish they would have taught me growing up. I call it the school of greatness. And these are the skills and principles that I've been learning over the years that I never learned in school, in books, in the classroom. Now, I'm sure there's some lessons I learned that were powerful, but most of the lessons were from other experiences, from interviewing these great leaders, from hearing their stories. So the school of greatness was born and I was like, this is the thing that's going to take me from not being just an internet marketer, but making more mainstream. And that was almost six years ago, 700 episodes ago, and everything is stemmed from the podcast. My audience started to grow very quickly. And whatever they told me their struggles were, their challenges were, or what they wanted, that's what I created. So originally they were like, Lewis, you've done so many great interviews and episodes. Can you do a book about this that kind of capsulates everything in one place? Yeah. So that's where the School of Greatness book came from that turned into a New York Times bestseller. Then they were like, gosh, can you create an online program of like a group coaching thing where you help us like optimize our life and that's where I created one program called the School of Greenness Academy then they were like gosh how did you do all this webinar stuff how did you make millions in your webinars can you like teach us how to do webinars so I created a course on webinars yeah they were like gosh like there's there's got to be so many people who are listening to this at these shows around the world that I would relate to. Can you create a conference where we can all come together and meet each other?
How Everything Lewis Has Created Was Stemmed From Podcasting (26:05)
And so that's where the summit of greatness came. Everything I've created has stemmed from the podcast. And I know you're seeing this as well in yours. Absolutely, it's incredible. Right, it's like 15 minutes of freedom. It's like you're helping so many people improve their lives through coaching, through the free podcast, you know you've got a book, you're going to be doing other stuff in the future, but it's like, it's kind of like the, the testing grounds to see what your audience really needs and wants. Yeah. And when we can create a platform where our audience tells us what they need and what they want, we're no longer guessing how to help people. We're actually just delivering the things they need right now, the highest level. how to help people, we're actually just delivering the things they need right now at the highest level. I think that's been the key for me is, the podcast almost six years ago, I just kept saying like, I don't wanna try to be better and win at everything. Everything before I'm 30 years old was, how do I be the best and beat everyone else at the thing I do? It's very competitive. It's like, I'm either winning and being the best or I'm not doing it. That was my mindset. And it got me very far. It helped me achieve all my accomplishments with that mentality. And now I come from a place of how can I be my best, not the best, but be my best. How can I create a win-win experience with everything I do? And how can I be different than everyone else? Not be number one, but be different. Because by being different, I'm actually separating myself outside of a pool of people in my industry that's all in the same pool. And I'm in my own pool. Not better than, not worse than, just different. Sally Hogshead, a friend of mine says that different is better than better because when you stand out, then people can notice you. Being number one, people can always beat you. You're going to fall at some point. Being different, it's like finding that blue ocean space, right? It's like finding the space that no one is going and creating a new category of course and that's kind of been my come from every year i think of what are the projects i'm going to work on this year that's going to create a win-win-win experience it's going to help me earn two three four five x the money i made from previous year so that i can impact more people with that money what's the thing that's going to light me on fire in my heart that gets me excited about life gets me excited to wake up at 6 a.m and train and and go through the the challenges and what's the thing that's going to keep reinventing myself so that people say i don't know how lewis is doing all this like how does he keep doing this he's just like doing things differently yeah and that's what not better than but just different absolutely and I think being different will create so much attention and awareness for you, no matter what you're doing in your career, if you're working in a career, if you're building a business.
Differences And Ideal Books
Being Different (28:36)
And that's what it's all about is like just standing out by using the thing that you're unique about to make a difference. So, you know. Yeah. Lewis, it's crazy how much we think the same. And the fact of, like I call that the divine intervention, where it's spirituality or God or whatever, is you're sitting probably in the 405 or something out in LA. Yeah, 405. You haven't been out there before. It's horrible. But you're sitting there, and this message comes through you, right? That's it. And unfortunately, Derek is not nearly a good friend of mine, but know him as well. And having those connections at that level to be able to launch this podcast, to have global notoriety through a podcast, really. I'm an early adopter, super early, which is phenomenal to see that and run towards it. Then the book. Then the training. And then here.
School of Greatness vs. Mask of Masculinity (29:37)
You're in Columbus. I'd love to say it's because you and I are long-lost friends. Maybe we'll get there, but we're not there yet. That's it, Ben. But you're here because of the summit. That's it. I bring it back home, yeah. Yeah, which is incredible to come back to Columbus, your hometown essentially, and be able to give back. There's what, 15, 16, 2,000 people coming here? 1,600 people coming. Yeah, it's a big, big event. Yeah. And in that- No one comes to Ohio. It's crazy. It's hard to get people to come to Ohio, man. It is hard. Well, I want to say this episode will actually launch, as you're listening to this, it's Thursday. So Thursday being the first day of the event. Yeah, man, it's going to be fun. O' So there still should be, are there tickets left for Lewis, or is it all sold out? Yeah, there's tickets. O' So where can somebody buy tickets to this? Summonofgreatness.com. O' So if you come, I'll be there, but you're not coming to see me, you're coming to see Lewis, of course, and all the guys. He's got some great speakers. Does everybody know who the final act is? Is that something we're keeping quiet? I think I just published it. Yeah, we got Wyclef John coming on Saturday night closing party, which is going to be a lot of fun. Yeah, and it's three days. You go hard for three full days of giving back value and really making massive impacts on people's lives. That's it, man. It's different. I get a chance to interview, just as you do, a bunch of different people. And there's the people that are doing this that say it's for altruistic reasons. They say it's because they want to give back. And there's people that are actually committed to giving back, like you. I mean, coming to Columbus, for those of you that haven't been to Columbus, there really is no draw here. It's not convenient to fly to. The flight patterns suck. The hotels aren't great. You come for a specific reason, then you leave. That's it. And you're still bringing it back home to add money to the economy that raised you, that brought you up. Absolutely. Probably see some family while you're here. Absolutely. Maybe they're still here. Yeah, of course. But then to bring all the other people to Columbus, to see some different flair, it's great. Yeah, it's fun, man. It's so crazy to see you come back to your roots. My goal is to bring the most inspiring speakers in the world to Columbus and give this community an opportunity to see these people that normally wouldn't see. Last year we had Esther Perel, who's one of the top therapists in the world. We had Maria Sharapova, who's the highest paid female athlete of all time, tennis player, five time Grand Slam champion. We had a lot of great people. We're doing it again this year.
The ideal book for women who know men. (31:41)
For me, it's like I wanted to create a Ted Talk for the heart and soul and bring those individuals here to keep opening people's hearts and souls to live a purposeful, meaningful life. Yeah. And in that, Lewis, I know we're running out of time on the interview, but School of Greatness is not the only book you have. We have. That eventually progresses into The Mask of Masculinity. Yeah. Tell me what the difference is. If someone's interested in buying one of the two, I would say buy both, I mean I have both books. What's that? Yeah, Mask of Masculinity, I felt like, I really, to make a long story short, I was living in this mentality of I need to be number one, I need to be the best, I need to dominate at everything. I was a fun loving guy, just like I still am, but when I felt defensive in any way, like a switch would turn on, it was kind of like a crazy switch. I was like, I'm going to destroy this person, right? Yeah. Whatever it may be. I don't know if you've ever felt that. Oh, yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely. This competitor, I'm going to destroy him, right? And I realized that I would do that. I would destroy everyone. And in that path, I was also destroying myself. It never felt good after it happened. After I achieved all these things, I was also destroying myself. Like it never felt good after it, it happened after I achieved all these things. I was like, how come I'm still not happy? Right. And I realized, um, long story short, and I got in a bad fight five years ago, a basket after over a basketball game, stupid. And I hadn't been in the fight and probably since I was a teenager. And I remember thinking to myself, what is wrong with me? Like I'm a 30-year-old man that's getting in a fight on a basketball court with a no-stakes game. This means nothing. And I let some other person trigger me to want to punch him in his face. And the police station is right across the street. I could lose everything. Everything. This person does nothing to lose, but I could lose everything. Everything, this person does nothing to lose, but I could lose everything. What is wrong with me? And I remember running back to my condo in LA at the time and looking myself in the mirror, like shaking that I got in this fight. I was like, who are you? I couldn't recognize myself. And I started to do a lot of work on myself. Again, hiring coaches, therapists, going to emotional intelligence workshops, doing everything I could to figure out, like, why am I reactive? I just thought, like, this is who I am. Like, accept me for who I am. Don't try to change me. Like, you can't change anything. And I realized that there was a lot of things that I hadn't come to peace with that I'd been through in my life, things that I'd done, things that had happened to me. And I started to process all of it, you know, being sexually abused when I was five. I started to process when my brother was in prison for four and a half years. When I was eight, I started to process my parents going through divorce, like a lot of people processing, just getting picked on and just feeling stupid my whole life from school. And I started to share it all for the first time. And in that sharing, I felt incredible sense of freedom, right? Like this freedom came to me. Fear came to me first that no one was going to accept me. Right. Then freedom. Yeah. When people were like, I trust you more than ever now. I will follow you anywhere. Anything you do, I will do with you. Yeah. It blew me away. Yep. The thing that I was most ashamed of, most afraid of was actually the thing that was giving me my freedom. And I know you've been doing this on your podcast, talking about, you know, cheating on your wife before she was your wife and all the things that you did that you're ashamed of or feel like you're, you shouldn't have done. And that's why you have a podcast about freedom because that's what we need to be doing is letting go of those things. But the challenge is most men in the world, I won't say all men, but the most men that we grew up with in Ohio, let's say, it's a mentality that you don't share those things. No, no feelings. Feelings are bad F words. You can say fuck, you can't say feelings. Yeah, exactly. Don't let people see you sweat, never show pain, all these things, right? Don't talk about it. Yeah. And when we don't talk about these things, we destruct ourselves, and we typically destruct those things around us. And I realize that that doesn't serve men and it doesn't serve humanity if men are holding on to their feelings.
Subscribe to Lewis Howes (35:32)
And I'm not saying you need to cry every day and be like that, but you need to be able to express yourself in a healthier form of communication as opposed to drinking and fighting and trying to beat everyone up which is kind of like my mentality was i didn't drink and fight normally but i wanted to be competitive and beat everyone yeah and i still wasn't happy so the book mask and masculinity is about identifying the masks that you wear as a man, because we all wear different masks. I wear many of them. And understanding why we wear that mask, how to let it go, and what's available on the other side when you do. It's also for women who want to understand their husbands, their brothers, their fathers, who might be hard to connect with at times, and have a better understanding and be able to tap into something inside of them without making them wrong for who they are. Yeah. And it's so crazy to hear these stories. And like without you, obviously you consume a lot of content. And I'll just walk through in 15 minutes of freedom. We had a whole episode of heal the boy, heal the man. Oh, yeah. Huge. And just the fact of all the limiting beliefs that we create at some sort of carnal base level from the ages of 7 to 14. We have all these traumatic events. And my traumatic events and your traumatic events could be polar opposites, but they're traumatic to us. They're traumatic, man. It doesn't matter how bad we've had it compared to someone else, but trauma is trauma. Absolutely. And then owning that and putting a different frame around it and getting connected to the emotions associated with it and rebuilding a new positive string of emotions. Yeah, man. Kind of the whole circular conversation around that, which is proving in yourself. I mean, again, New York Times bestseller, Ellen, Good Morning America. Like, what's coming up next? What's the next? Without tipping your hat to too much, obviously you stay ahead of the curve, so I don't need any inside secrets. Yeah, sure. I mean, the talk show is something I wanted to do for a while. I wanted to have one of the largest talk shows in the world. It's still my mission. And we just did one season. We finished up there, and we'll see where it goes next. Now that's Facebook based, right? Facebook. Yeah. It's first show on first talk show on Facebook. When I get notified, it's genius because I get notifications like it pops up first to everything. Like it's, it's, it's well played. That was the goal, man. Yeah, for sure. A lot of work though. But, uh, it's a, it's a learning experience. My mission is to impact 100 million people a week. And I'm not attached to the mechanism, if that's a podcast or a talk show on Facebook or traditional TV or books. It doesn't matter. I'm just committed to the impact and reaching 100 million people a week. That might take me the rest of my life.
Man Up (38:00)
That might be a year. I don't know. I just did a video last week that did 21 million views on Facebook.
DA Toolkit (38:07)
We did another one five days ago that got 18 million views. So I'm starting to figure out the viral video stuff, all organic, no paid traffic on Facebook. That's crazy. We're starting to figure out these things, right? The more time you're in the game, the more things you learn, I feel like, if you're willing to grow. So what's next for me, we just shot a documentary that we finished up that we'll be showing at the summit. So you'll see it there. Fantastic. So I'm trying to just create, be innovative with my work and continue to share the same fundamental messages in a innovative, powerful way so that people can receive it. Yeah. In different mediums, whether it be long form interviews, short form content, documentaries, books, I'm not attached to how I'm committed to making it happen. That's crazy. I mean, this is now the second time in an hour long session we've been together where you've got somebody realizing they're playing too small. And I say that. You shared with me in a pre-show interview, you had a friend that saw what you were doing and quote unquote had to unfriend you on Facebook. You're playing small It's been my mission. I've said it one every five episodes I want to impact a million people's lives like I want to know I have a physical impact Like not just a million Well, that's exactly right like to me a download for my metrics doesn't count like I want a million emails of people that have Even over my life and said like I heard this message right training or I did something like a true impact connection but I hear 100 million I'm like you know shit there's no reason why I shouldn't pick 100 million like it's just a number yeah I'm gonna hit the level of success I strive for yeah I chose 100 million this was like three years ago when I made up that number because I had already reached you know a million people it's like all right I've already reached a million so. So I was like, all right, I've already reached a million. So what, 10 million? But most people, when you say, what do you want to do and how many people do you want to impact, they say everyone or the world. It's too vague. Correct. You've got to, as an athlete, you've got to have specific goals, right? Meaningful, specific, and attainable. That's it, man. And I'm like, you know what? The internet, 100 million is not unattainable. It might take me 20 years. It might take me 50 years. but it's something that I can measure that gets me excited because it's almost too crazy, but it's also not. If I got 20 million views on one video, like, huh, okay, how can I keep building that so it's that every single week? And how can we just keep growing all of it so that people are inspired and affected by love and not hate? And that's what it's all about, man. Lewis, I love it. So if you were to leave my listeners with one message, one impactful takeaway, what would it be? You matter. Forgive yourself and take care of your health. I don't think it gets any better said than that. That's it. Lewis, man, thank you so much for sharing time with me today. Thanks, brother. Appreciate you coming on. Appreciate you coming by the office. And I look forward to staying in touch better said than that. That's it. Lewis, man, thank you so much for sharing time with me today. Appreciate it, brother. Appreciate you coming on. Appreciate you coming by the office. And I look forward to staying in touch. Thanks, brother. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks. Thanks.