Episode 167: The Lion Inside You | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 167: The Lion Inside You".


Note: This transcription is split and grouped by topics and subtopics. You can navigate through the Table of Contents on the left. It's interactive. All paragraphs are timed to the original video. Click on the time (e.g., 01:53) to jump to the specific portion of the video.


Intro (00:00)

I'm Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Appreciate you listening in. Love to hear from you. Drop me an email, ryan at gsdmediagroup.com. Give me some feedback, pros and cons, or some things you'd like to have me talk about. Listener requests are always appreciated and enjoyable. Today's episode is requested by Kurt, and it's called The Line Inside of You. So in today's episode, I sat down in the studio, know I needed to record some content, had some notes on my phone and said, Kurt, what should I talk about? He literally said, a line inside you. I said, all right, done. I'm ready to go with it. Because instantly, it snapped in my mind of the impactful lesson that can be taught from understanding there's actually two different sides of you. Being able to harness that power will allow you to expand in a way you've never felt before. So in that, the majority of our lives, or I'll say just my adult life, shit, the majority of my life as a whole, I have been taught that the good parts of us, the good emotions of us, the things that are pure, if you will, inside of us, are the things we could share. Like, that's it. Like, that's the part that you share out loud. So it's, you know, you're supposed to tell your family that you love them or tell those people that matter to you that they matter. You're supposed to, you know, really share good positive energy. And I get it. I agree with all that 100%. But what we have as a society refused to address are the negative feelings and emotions that actually exist inside of all of us. You know, just because we don't share something out loud doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

Discussion On Negative Thoughts, Reframing Process, And Cathartic Release

Sedation through pornography. (02:08)

So what happens when there's no outlet for it? When there's nowhere for it to go? In my opinion, what happens is a level of sedation. Really a systemic sedation where because there's no outlet that's created, you find your own outlets. For us, it's pretty easy for men. Not being able to express ourselves turns into things like pornography. I'm not here to debate the pros and cons of if people should look at porn. I mean, I've shared this before. It's not, I've used it. I've looked at it, however you want to say it. I'm not running from it. I'm not saying it's inherently atrocious. I'm saying that what happens is, as we sedate, we use pornography to escape reality. We use it for the fairytale land, for the lack of what is real right now. If it's not pornography, maybe that's not your thing. Maybe it's alcohol. Now, have you ever really thought about why it is that you drink until you feel a buzz or until you get drunk? Like, what are you escaping? What is it you're running from that you haven't actually ever conquered or at least tried to conquer. Maybe it's a recreational use of drugs.

Amarijuana (03:28)

And here it gets into this whole other rabbit hole conversation about the use of marijuana, pot, weed, whatever you want to call it. Do I think it has some medicinal benefits? Absolutely. I own a CBD company with no question. I think there's things inside of the plant, marijuana, that are good for our bodies. In saying that, I choose not to smoke it or consume it, eat edibles, whatever the things are that you could say that could get me high. CBD provides a benefit on the backside without the high from THC. But in that, even if you were someone that wanted to use marijuana, are you using it because of medicinal value to decrease inflammation, decrease anxiety, do some things that way? Are you doing it to sedate from the real world because you like the altered state of consciousness?

Negative thoughts (04:09)

But these are questions that all stem from somewhere. And to me, they stem from the fact of not knowing the light and dark side of ourselves. Not knowing that line in us. Because there is a line in every one of us. I don't think for one second that you don't have negative thoughts. Like aggressive thoughts. Like thoughts that make most people cringe. Inside of Wake Up Warrior, Garrett J. White's creation, the thing that's now bigger than him and is a global movement, if you will. If you want more information on that, go to wakeupwarrior.com. Head over to thekingskit.com. They even have warrior women right now. And we'll continue down that path. But in that, he has created or helped perfect or moved along something called the stack. And the stack is something that we use or that I use. That I've taken pieces apart from and started to morph into some additional questions and methodologies that make it my own. But nonetheless, I take this stack and it allows you to take something that you are inherently pissed about. And not be pissed about it anymore. So let's take a real time example. Okay. Let's come up with a stack right now. For me, something that I've been pissed off about today is my lack of time management.

TheStack (05:31)

And I'm truly pissed. Like I'm in the car, driving to the gym, and I am motherfucking myself. I'm mad that I let somebody into my space. I'm mad that I didn't honor my own boundaries. I'm physically like my physiology of how my body feels is altered. It is not the same. It's not the same as every other day. So in this moment, I am realizing the fact that I am pissed. It's a realization. I'm present in the moment now that I'm fucking mad. Well, why am I mad? I'm mad because I didn't honor my own commitments to myself, that something became greater. The conversation with a good friend of mine, developer Devin, programmer, lead developer for the company. The conversation I had with another coach, the conversation I had with people at the gym, like all this stuff takes time and power away from me. Okay. So I'm actually pissed off about that. And eventually through this process, we do something called walk the block and walk the block forces you to look at multiple different sides of the same equation. Like where in my life, like what's the me version? I'm pissed at somebody else for taking my time. So the me version is I'm pissed at me for taking other people's time. Like it's my fault. Well, where in life has that actually been true? Well, it's been true multiple times.

The Great Reframe (07:03)

Like I've taken other people's time and have thought nothing of it. Where in life has that actually been true? Well, it's been true multiple times. Like, I've taken other people's time and have thought nothing of it. Then we look at the opposite version. And what's the opposite version of I'm pissed at people for taking my time is I'm happy that people took my time. Well, where has that been true? Well, really, some of that's true right now because people are calling me because they're looking for advice and input, which ultimately makes me happy and fulfilled. So I'm mad they robbed me of my time, but I'm happy at the fact I got to add value. And then what's the desired version of this? Well, the desired version of this whole situation is the fact that I'm able to take a situation, take someone needing some input, and cater and help them in that time in a time block of my day that serves me, not them, then ultimately when have I had that to be true? From that I can choose which one of those four decisions I want to own as my new truth. Well, it's almost always the desired version. Why would I not want what I desire? I desire to have a balanced life in which I'm able to make time and hold time and space for myself, but I'm also then able to help others and make their life better. That's what I want. And then through that, what's the gift that has happened in the situation? What's the benefit on the backside? Well, the gift of this particular situation ends up being the fact that I realize that I can honor my time and my commitment to myself above all else. Because that's what's most important. If I was living the desired version of life, I would have to honor that commitment. Well, then in honoring that commitment, how can that apply to body, being, balance, and business?

The Benefits (08:33)

Well, I honor the commitment very simply in not allowing or not even having my phone out during a gym time, not ever answering the phone, not looking at emails, not handling text messages, putting the damn thing in my locker, leaving it in my car. Same thing when it comes to being, my meditation. I would never bring my phone out during a meditation time. It's on silent. It's tucked away. I want to meditate and have that connection to a spiritual oneness. I want the power that comes from that. What about my family? What about the balance quadrant of my life? How can it apply there? What applies there from the fact that, look, I need to make certain that when I'm with my family, I'm all in and present with them. I can't have my phone out being distracted. I need to honor that time block and that time commitment. And then how does it relate to business and pertain to business as a whole? What it means inside of business is the fact that I have to also honor the time commitments on my calendar from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m. every day. I have to keep them clear. They're the most important. And so in that, now that I've walked the block and now that I understand how the simple lesson can be applied to body, being, balance, and business, it's truly what's the final gift that comes with this? What's the revelation? What's the magic that comes from this situation? The magic that comes from the situation is my commitment to myself has to be greater than my commitment to all others because I find power in self, not power in others. And I search every day for personal power. And then what's the action item I'm going to do in the next 48 hours to instill that part into my life? Well, I'm going to make sure I block out my time and don't answer my fucking phone. I'm going to do the things that back up the work that I'm willing to put on the front side. And so all that, that strategic 30 question that eventually we go through, you know, little parlay back and forth with ourselves, takes what we refer to as the dark warrior and gets a handle on it.

The Handling WorkBenches (10:21)

Because there's a time and a place in your life where you need that dark warrior, where you need the rage that's built up inside of you. What happens is most of us don't address the fact that rage exists. We don't have an outlet for it. We sedate around it. And then it consumes our life. Like imagine every time you've been pissed off, if you haven't shared that with somebody, what happens? Let's talk about your husband, your wife, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, even your kids, where they do something like mine with Lindsay, I leave dishes in the sink. It's crazy. I'll clean off the table from dinner. I'll kind of wipe the dishes off and I'll leave them in the sink. I don't literally, I can reach to my left and grab the dishwasher handle from in front of our sink. And I don't do that to load the dishwasher. I leave them in the sink. Lindsay hates it. I know she hates it because she eventually realized that if she doesn't say something to me and she just lets it fester and build and build and build, there's a massive explosion, which is like catastrophic, where she goes crazy. And in going crazy, she realizes she's never shared it with me before this moment, like this is the first time. But it has to take the commitment to communicate real time. There has to be the little pressure release valve that anytime a little pressure builds up, steam blows off. Because if it doesn't happen, it's still going to blow off. It's just going to scorch the ground around it when the pressure gets high enough. Same thing in life. That's a very minute situation, very minuscule, very meaningless to most people, but in her life, it's massively impactful. So when you don't blow off the steam, when you don't address the small issues, they build into something greater. So the stack allows you to blow off some steam. But maybe there's a situation like in my life with boxing. I actually need that dark warrior. I need the part of me that my internal clock starts dinging relentlessly. When that time comes for me, I step in the ring and we're sparring. And eventually, inevitably, no matter how hard I try, I get punched in the face.

The Dark Warrior (12:34)

It's kind of just part of the way the sport works. Well, something snaps when I get punched in the face and there's this momentary thing where I can't see, like my eyes get blurry, my nose hurts. There's a mental thing of like, oh shit, I just got punched in the face. What could I have done differently? How can I not have that happen again? All that happens in milliseconds. What happens next is this internal anger that comes out of wanting to kill the fucking person in front of me. And I truly believe at some point we've all actually felt that. Only because I know that it's completely appropriate for air. There's something that we do called release the rage. Release the rage is also part of the stack. Where you get extremely real and raw with your exact feelings and emotions and you say all the things you're not supposed to ever say out loud. And whether you write them down or you physically yell them out loud, these are part of things that go into recreating a release of the negative energy. So let's assume it's a situation where Devin calls me and robs me, quote unquote, of my time. Like that's the story I'd started with, not the story I ended with. In that and getting extremely real with how I feel and raw about the emotions attached to it, I would call Devin everything under the sun, every name, and I'm writing it all down.

Cathartic Releasing (13:58)

All the negative thoughts, all the things I want to do to Devin, all the anger that I have towards him based off anything that's ever happened. And the damnedest thing happens when you do that. The minute you put it all on paper, the minute you see it all, the minute you can't come up with another derogatory statement to say towards Devin, you realize there's no power there. It's all gone. Like the minute I finished writing that last word or typing that last word, I'm good. I feel nothing. I feel no anger. It's like it's all out of me. But again, that's that line inside of us where if you don't have these tools in your life to help alter the trajectory of your daily habits and behaviors, eventually it's going to manifest itself into reality. The negative emotions and negative events still happen.

Anger Grabs Us (14:50)

The anger of driving in traffic, the frustration of your wife or husband not communicating, the kids that cry out, the shit that goes wrong, the business deals that collapse. Name something. We all have stuff that actually pisses us off. It starts firing up that dark word, that same part of your soul that happens to me when I get punched in the face.

Gotten Prison (15:09)

That exists for some of us in traffic. Difference being for most of us is we then go home and have a beer to calm down. We shut ourselves in our office and seclude ourselves from our children because we need time to just quote unquote unwind. And what happens then is you create this behavioral loop in which the children don't feel wanted. They don't feel necessary. They don't feel, they feel like a byproduct. Then it creates a wedge between the husband and wife or boyfriend and girlfriend because now all of a sudden you look at it and there's no way for them to bond because in this hypothetical situation, the mother has spent all the time with the children since they got off of school. By the time the husband fights traffic, it's six o'clock when he gets home and all he wants to do is take 30 minutes for himself in his office.

The Fight is Real (15:52)

And who knows what he's looking at in there. Maybe it's porn. Maybe it's emails. Maybe he's just sulking over a glass of whiskey. The email is maybe he's just sulking over a glass of whiskey. Nonetheless, he's not connected to his family. And so in that, he neglects to remember the fact that his wife has been the one taking care of the kids since they got home from school. And all she wants is a 10-second reprieve to be able to recalibrate herself because she's been on full go for the past three hours. So what ends up happening? go for the past three hours. So what ends up happening? There becomes a wedge between the husband and wife because the wife doesn't understand why the husband's in the office. The husband surely isn't aware of the fact that wife's got animosity. And over time, eventually there's a blow up and there's a breakdown in communication. And there's two dark warriors fighting because the husband feels pissed off about his day in his life and the wife feels pissed off about her day in her life. And because there's two dark warriors fighting because the husband feels pissed off about his day in his life, and the wife feels pissed off about her day in her life, and because there's been no consistent blow-off valve, because no one's stacked, because no one's released the rage, because there's been no way to process these emotions, the dark warriors come out and fight each other. And in that fight, someone always loses. But the dark warrior's never defeated because it can't be. It's part of our soul. It's part of who we are. That second half of us never goes away. So over time, that dark warrior, as I'll call it, becomes more resilient. It's filled with more angst. And the fights get more intense. And the way we sink our heels into the ground and hold on to what we believe to be true becomes more steadfast. And over a situation or an amount of time, a causation, a run rate of things that happens, what inevitably happens in 53 to 54% of marriages in the U.S. is they end up in divorce. 54% of marriages in the US is they end up in divorce. Because they were never given the tools to access the power between the light side of themselves, the positive, happy-go-lucky, I love you side, and the opposite side, which is I fucking hate you and wish you would die. Because both sides exist.

Balancing Energy And Emotional Connection

Energetic Balances (17:58)

We just lie to ourselves that they don't, or we think that they shouldn't because someone has told us they shouldn't it is truly my belief system that you can't have a positive without a negative not only when it refers to a battery but also energetically in the universe also when it comes to emotions, also when it comes to conversations you can't spread light and love without there being hate and animosity. It's there in equal proportion. Some of us process it. Some of us swallow it. Some of us drink it away. Some of us cheat and lie. I mean, I've done all these things. But all of it comes down to that line inside of us.

Emotional Connection 101 (18:39)

And the two sides of that dividing line. Think about your own life right now, just for a moment. Where is it that you're running from the fact that you actually have anger inside of you? That there's things that you don't like.

Plugs (18:57)

There's people you wish you didn't interact with. There's situations you wish you weren't put in. There's stories you wish you didn't interact with? There's situations you wish you weren't put in. There's stories you wish you didn't have to tell. There's things that you would do anything to change and you have no outlet for. Where in your life is that actually happening? How often is it happening? Have you considered the fact that there's tools out there to help you blow off the steam associated with it? And that you're not unique by the fact of having these feelings filled with hate and rage. You feel that you are because society has made it so you can't share that.

Give me a Look (19:30)

There's a reason why heroes and villains exist in every movie. And why we all rally around the hero. Because we have all been told over and over again that is the good person. But I will encourage you to believe the fact or consider the fact that every hero also has a dark side. Just like you do. Just like I do. And until you tap into that dark side and you make it your own and it's something you control and you have power over, it becomes more resilient and is eventually doomed to run your life. Instead of making this about your body and all the different parts and pieces, just a simple question. Are you ready to stop having the dark side of you run your life? I hope so. Because there are actionable ways to have it be that it's more in balance and that you find power from it.

Getting Real

Lets Really Get Real (20:34)

And if you want more access to how that actually works, shoot me an email. Ryan at gsdmediagroup.com. I'd be happy to share some tips and tricks. I'd be happy to educate you on how it is that this whole process can work for you. It might not be for everybody. It might not be for you, but a handful of you listening inevitably are tired of dealing with the struggle of light and dark and what society says is right and wrong. And you want a different operating system to make sure that you have power in your life every day. And you don't feel like you could break the steering wheel in your bare hand some days that was days and times together dimes that's the way it works we also don't edit this show at all so congratulations for that little slip up once you email in or even if you don't you just consider the opportunity in front of you, what I'm going to encourage you to do is take action every day to balance the light and dark side of yourself so that consistently you're able to get shit done. you

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