Episode 174: Overcommitted | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 174: Overcommitted".


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Intro (00:00)

I'm Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Today's episode is entitled Overcommitted, So sit back, relax, and enjoy the content. So in today's episode, I want to share with you how overcommitting ends up limiting your growth, not expanding it. So as I say that, and I actually just shared this title to this episode, it's almost the complete opposite of what I actually mean. So I'm going to start with that little asterisk that I got to put by it, but as I've shared a hundred times now, we don't edit these episodes, there's no notes, and I'm going to make fucking mistakes. It's just the way it works. Actually, overcommitting can make you push and have a higher level of capacity than you realize possible, so you have to do it in the right way. What I mean by that is I've had this one of seven challenge. And the one of seven challenge was you as listeners were asked to email in to work with me on a one-on-one coaching basis. And I only had time and energy, only could commit to seven people. And in my mind, like sure, I get a couple downloads. Every episode maybe gets 15 or 20,000 downloads. Back then when I launched that episode, it might have been 9 or 10,000 downloads. I don't even know what the number is. But I'm thinking, okay, you know, some of you listening might have interest. Many of you just consume this just to consume content. You get little things from it. You don't feel like your life really needs that much changing. You don't want to work with a coach, whatever your stories are. So I figured, you know, maybe when I launch, I'll get 20 or 30 people. That was the story I told myself. And so I put it out there and say, hey, look, real simple. Just email me. Email me at ryan at gsdmediagroup.com and we'll start down this path. I felt called to do it. It's actually, as I just recorded an episode about, you know, meditation and being your own personal Jesus and all this crazy stuff, it came to me on the backside of one of my meditations. I need to launch it this way. Ask people to be one of seven. And so I put it on social media as well and do a little bit, but don't do anything crazy about it. What ends up happening is I get a response that is far exceeding anything that I thought possible.

Interacting With Responses And Finding Time For Training

The unexpected number of responses (02:14)

I don't know the exact number. 1,200, 1,700, 2,000, 1,500. It was more emails than I knew what to do with. Inevitably, some of you that are listening in right now emailed and you didn't even get a response. It's my fault. I didn't expect there to be so many. And I had you send them to an email address that is also an email address for all the rest of my normal email correspondence through the company and all the stuff that I do. So there's a good chance that I missed some of you. Crazy, some of you are finding out I don't ask anybody else to filter through my email or respond to my text messages or handle any of my interaction with anybody. Even my coaching clients are all ran through me. Nobody else has access. my interaction with anybody. Even my coaching clients are all ran through me. Nobody else has access. So in that, it's a blessing and a curse because I can't help scale it. I'm one person with so much time and I didn't think the outcome would be as significant as it was. So I sat down with Kurt and I think Doug was here too, a couple of guys in the office, and we sat down and said, okay, how can I filter through all these? This is way more than I thought. I came up with this, okay, we'll do a questionnaire. Like inevitably, some people just send the email because they want to see if they can get it done. And you ask them to do something and some people are going to fall off. And lo and behold, that happened. Send the email out, simple questionnaire, you know, really what's working in your life, what's not, high level stuff. I think it was 10 questions, maybe 12. Shouldn't take anybody more than four or five minutes. Going through that, I keep getting these responses over and over again. They're going to a Google sheet, so every time that happens, I'm getting an email alert. And that email alert, again, I'll make up a number. It doesn't matter. Hundreds of different responses. Okay, well, that didn't really work because that's still way more people than I thought. And then admittedly I looked at that and I had a place on there that I was asking for income. Like, tell me your income level. I sat down and I'm like, I got this. I'll just go highest income to lowest income. I can sort them that way. Well, then I realized how ridiculous that was because that's not fair to anybody and when I needed the most help was when I probably had the least. I realized how ridiculous that was because that's not fair to anybody.

Emails would be more than I could handle (04:25)

And when I needed the most help was when I probably had the least. I said, screw that. I'll ask everybody to send a video in. That'll eliminate. That's a good barrier. That'll stop people. Send a video out. Ask you to tell me what's your why. Two minutes or less, what's your why? From those hundreds, we got down to like 95 people. Maybe it's 97, under 100. I'm thinking, okay, this is finally, this feels manageable now. And this is taking weeks. Like this is not something that happened in three days. This is weeks of time. And bear with me. I know this episode is a little lengthy. So what's happening then is I'm filtering through these videos and I can't decide necessarily which ones are the ones to go with. Which ones are the best? Some didn't work, some at the other. So I take the 90 and I say, hey, here's a link, book some time on my schedule. I asked for 45 minutes of time. And in that, I didn't imagine that people would actually want to hop on the phone and talk with me still. I didn't imagine that people would actually want to hop on the phone and talk with me still. And it's not that I don't have valuable stuff to say, but I didn't think that anybody would actually put that much time aside in their day to connect with me from the hours of 10 in the morning until 6 at night.

From call to call, something magical happened (05:34)

Well, that was a big fucking mistake. Not because I didn't enjoy speaking with all of you, and I'm still not done with the phone calls. But because starting on Monday morning a week ago, I had at least five hours of calls. Most days were six to eight hours of calls with you as listeners. So I want to make a commitment to actually go through this. I want to actually speak to everybody. And some of you as you're listening to this, and I have been avid listeners as you shared with me, you realize that you were offered a spot. I didn't energetically wait until I got through every listener, every video, every conversation. Some of you just knew. I just knew. I knew it was the right fit. And some of you, it wasn't. It wasn't the right time. It wasn't the right level of commitment. Something didn't feel right when we spoke. I get it. something didn't feel right when we spoke, I get it. But in this whole time, I'm sitting thinking like, I have just massively overcommitted to myself. Like it gets to Friday of last week and I am so shot and burnt out. If you haven't spoken on the phone for at least six hours straight throughout a day, try it once. Just try to not shut up for six hours and be present and mentally focused. And then in that, make meaningful, impactful conversation with the person you're corresponding with, trying to leave their life truly better than you found it. I was shot. It's like 7.30 on Friday and I'm ready for bed. Done. Not to mention certified trainer videos to shoot and additional training doctrine pieces, training pieces that matter for all of you that will go through the 107. I mean, I've really expanded what this coaching business is, something I don't really talk about too much on the air. But in that, this level of overcommitment, I was so miserable miserable last week i'm in the end of the week and i'm just shot i don't want to do this i'm literally talking myself out of it on sunday night it's like all right i got five phone calls on on monday i have six on tuesday i've got five on wednesday i'm like mapping through like what are the stories I could tell? What are the things I could come up with and not hop on these calls? Could I mail it in? Could I half-ass it? Could I underplay it? Could I charge people a bunch of money and tell them right up front on the phone just to get them off the call? I went through this whole list of stuff on Sunday. Because in that moment, I was dreading coming to the office on Monday. Because I sit in this office where I'm recording a podcast. And if I were to spin around the cameras and point to a board, there's a big glass, black piece of glass on the wall. And what I do, I write down different parts of our conversation. So actually, instead of you living in your life, I get to live on it for a second. I get to look at your life in a way that you probably never had somebody do before. I do that with every client. I always have. I always will. Because in that, I'm able to draw comparisons and analyze things in a way that maybe someone else hasn't done for you before, which is wonderful. But it's heavy. Like some of you have been molested. Some of you have been broke. Some of you have drug addiction issues. Some of you have all types of things that slow you down. There's a little piece of you that comes off on me when we have that conversation.

The stack & Pushing Your Boundaries (08:55)

And so I just was massively overcommitted. But through that, as I'm winding down this week, you know, it's Wednesday of the week as I'm recording this, I got a chance to reframe that. You've seen this, I've shared it before in other episodes. I have something called the stack that I do every day. And the stack allows me to take something that pisses me off, bothers me, frustrates me, something that I don't like, and it forces me to look at it from every angle. something that I don't like, and it forces me to look at it from every angle. It's a 30-question sequential step to take me from literally, I fucking hate having to have all these conversations, to the final question, like the gift, the light that I got out of it. And the light was so massive from this that I felt compelled to share it. So it was multiple fold. The first fold was the fact of how blessed and fortunate I am, how lucky I am to have made such an impact in this amount of time, in 150, 160 episodes. How incredibly fortunate am I to know that you listening to this story have went from all the shit that I used to do to who I am now and believe in me enough to want to correspond with me and then trust in me enough to potentially work with me. That's a huge gift. I'm looking at this shit the wrong way. The next gift that I found was the fact of, look, now I'm able to make the impact that I say I want to make, that I'm actually able to, whether I work with you or not throughout the 67 phone calls I'll end up having, the seven of you that make it and the 60 that don't, I left every one of you with a tip or tool or piece of advice specific to your life. So I can say with no shadow of a doubt that I did something to make the world better. That I'm 67 people closer to now my new goal of 120 million. I also get to reframe the fact of how fortunate am I that I actually can do this and I have the tools. That I've had my own personal success and success in other clients, so why shouldn't I help you? And this list just like keeps going. And I'm like sitting there starting in the morning in the state of sheer frustration on a Friday morning or Monday morning. To just complete over the moon elatement before I leave. Like how wild is this ride that I get to do all this? And there's a week, it feels like on Wednesday, it's almost already coming to an end, like I'm already seeing now multiple weeks ahead. It's shown me how overcommitting can actually increase and expand my capacity. Because no different than I teach and train or no different than I'm going to help seven of you out or maybe it's more of you in the future, our personal ability expands under pressure. different than I'm going to help seven of you out, or maybe it's more of you in the future. Our personal ability expands under pressure. And all this training is what I call kicking the dick training. Like this is not soft. This is not like, oh, we're going to, you know, just, just talk about how your day was and let me know some things that hurt. Like there is daily stuff I have you do at an extreme level, at a level that breaks a lot of people, just the way it is. But in that extreme nature, in that extreme level, what happens is those of you, whether it's the one to seven or maybe you listening, those of you that want to rise to the next level of your life will also rise up then in that 12 or 14 week time period. You're literally forced to become the next best version of yourself just to operate inside this new way of living And if I do it the right way and if you go all in like you say you will What's up happening is? You now use that as your litmus test. That's your base level This new operating system becomes something that used to be frustrating and hard and becomes how you live every day without me It's like the biggest win in the world. It was that overcommitment. It's taking that step and expanding to 10 or 15% more capacity than you thought possible. Like now I know I can speak for six or seven hours all day long and my voice doesn't go out and I can handle it mentally and all these things happen. So in the fact of wanting to have balance across my body being balanced in business and have some sort of home life, I know realistically I can do 10 hours of calls a day. I can do 70 hours of talk time and not mentally collapse because 15% more than I've already done. And I can eventually keep leveling that up. I can keep taking 15% incremental jumps and force myself to be a better version of who I am, all from overcommitment. Now, the opposite of that is also true. If you were to overcommit and then not fulfill on your overcommitment, you look like a jackass. I mean, how many times in your life right now have you overcommitted to something, kicked yourself in the rear end and realized, shit, I shouldn't have said that? I did that just two weeks ago, just last week. I probably even did it this week. That is one of my biggest downfalls is I'm a people pleaser. I realize that. And I do everything I can to commit to as many people as I can to make as much impact as I can. But in that way of operating, if I'm not conscious of it, I commit to too much stuff and I don't get it all done. And for me, I just mentally think, oh, I commit to too much stuff and I don't get it all done. And for me, I just mentally think, oh, everybody will understand. But if you're the last person that didn't get what they needed from me or what I committed to give you, you feel like I don't care about you. You feel like it doesn't matter. You feel like I lied to you. That's a horrible place to be. So that overcommitment has two different sides. So that's why it's so important for me to impress upon you that 10 to 15% has two different sides. So that's why it's so important for me to impress upon you that 10 to 15% variable. Take what you think you can do, add a little bit more to it and commit to that. See if that breaks. If you work 40 hours a week right now, don't try to jump up to 70 hours a week. Something's probably going to get fucked up. Jump up to 50, 45. I know I can do math. 50 is 22%. I get it. Whatever. Probably 21%. I digress. I'm not going to have that conversation right now.

How to Make Space For Training When You Think You Dont Have Time, Energy, or Ambition. Here are Three Plans for Finding (No.. Maybe Thats Not The Right Word Right Now) (14:41)

Nonetheless, that overcommitment will create expansion. Expansion is all what we are really here for, at least in my opinion. So let's talk about you right now. Let's talk about your life as it sits. Where could you use a little bit of overcommitting to increase your capacity? Maybe start overcommitting to take your wife or husband out on a date once a week. Without your phone, without anything. You overcommit to it because you haven't done it for months, maybe years. And you think, man, that's incredible. How am I going to do that? Just commit to do it this week. Maybe it's in business. Maybe you've wanted to start to bone up on marketing or sales automation or scale. Maybe there's something you want more of and you've created the story like, I just don't have time.

Plan A Plan B Plan C (15:42)

Expand your capacity and etch out an extra 45 minutes a day for you to expand that knowledge base. Maybe it's in your body, right? I've had a lot of you say to me, I want to put on a little bit of extra muscle. I want more definition. I want more size. Maybe that comes from increasing your caloric intake just by 10%.

Problem Of Overcommitting

Overcommitment (16:02)

Going from 2,500 calories a day to 2,750. Maybe just having a little bit of extra protein with every meal. Or the opposite could be true. Maybe you want to lose weight and you just need to reduce calories by 10%. Either way, that small incremental jump and then commit to it for a period of time. Commit to it for a week or two. And admittedly, part of what my training is, is it's not a week or two. It's make a commitment. It's yes or no. It's in or out. It's yes or no. It's in or out. It's black or white. Commit to it for two weeks. In that, when you start to overcommit and start to make uncomfortable confirmations, you'll find out that every day you're able to get shit done. you

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