Episode 179: F@ck A Role Model, Get A Real Model | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 179: F@ck A Role Model, Get A Real Model".

1970-01-01T01:00:21.000Z

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Introduction

Intro (00:00)

I'm Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. daily action guide to getting shit done. Today's episode is entitled, Fuck a Role Model, Get a Real Model. In today's episode, I'm going to share with you why an idealistic role model won't get you to your final destination. You know, my entire life, I've been told in one capacity or another that we need role models. Right? You need somebody to look up to.


Inside Perspectives And Personal Thoughts

Fuck a Role Model (00:47)

You need somebody to almost idolize, to emulate in your life. I mean, have you heard that before? Have you yourself ever been told, you know, find that good role model? You need to find a good role model, a good person to hang out with. Like, I get it, right? Like this person, but there's this, the damnedest thing happens when you have a role model. Eventually they fail you. And a friend of mine, a guy that at this point is a little frustrated with me, a guy that I haven't spoken to nearly enough, shared with me something that has just stuck with me. And that's that you never want to meet your idols. I'm like, man, what does that even mean? He's telling me this and I'm like, man, you're crazy. And here's a guy that's incredibly accomplished, great successes in business, has some years above me on this earth and has a whole different perspective and he's telling me this I'm like man this doesn't make any sense and so in my travels I've been super fortunate to meet some really incredible people you know but a lot of these people I had looked up to from either my viewpoint of them my vantage point from afar, or from, you know, just the way that society would view them. And what ends up happening is, you know, I build this idealistic story in my head, and I'm going to stay away from names because I think it's vastly inappropriate to attack somebody. But in my travels, you know, I get this opportunity to meet these people. And in meeting one of these guys. Like I'm super excited. I'm trying to really maintain my composure. I'm trying to think like, man, how am I going to. I'm not trying to get anything out of this person. But how do I position myself the right way to be a person of value. But also honor my own integrity. Like just going through this checklist. Like this mental conversation before I get to spend time with this individual. And I fly across the country. And I spend time with this person for a day or two. And in this, we start out at his office and life is just eyes dotted, T's crossed. And things are beautiful. Everything's got its place. Everybody falls in line. Thriving business, successful company. Things are just perfect. So it seems. Then I get to his house and everything seems perfect there too. But as I start asking questions and uncovering the layers, there's pieces and parts that just aren't what were perceived, at least not by me. His business has issues, just like every business does. Partnership disputes and lease contracts that need to renegotiate and all this stuff that's just not easy. And the house that is so beautiful is not what it seems to be either. And family is not like, everything just slowly trickles down into like, man, this guy has got the same issues that I have. Here's this idol that just has got demons like we all do. And so let's make it more relevant for just a moment. There's this golfer. Some of you might have heard of him before. His name's Tiger Woods. A little obscure guy. And I remember in his heyday, Tiger Woods could do no wrong. Contracts everywhere. Massive success. One of the most notable sports figures in the world, right? Then it comes out that Tiger, you know, maybe had some demons that he too needed to conquer. I mean, who am I kidding? It was plastered everywhere. This poor man was just berated for the number of countless women that he had been involved with while he was married. And seemingly his career ends. And you have all these people that had idolized him for so long as this incredible golfer that's crossed race barriers and has really established this whole other way to operate. He's playing on a level that no one can fathom. And then all of a sudden, he's made human. And admittedly, he's made less than human. He's demonized. Now, I don't know about you. I don't know what it's like to be the best golfer in the world. I also don't really know what it's like to have countless people every place that I go throwing themselves at me, trying to get my attention. I don't know what it's like to make hundreds of millions, if not more, dollars consistently. I don't know what it's like to have everything at my fingertips that I could ever want or desire. But more important than all that, I don't know what Tiger went through as a child. I don't know his stories or his traumas. I don't know his original incidences. I don't know his stories or his traumas. I don't know his original incidences. I don't know what created who he is today and the limiting beliefs that he had associated with relationships in the present form. And so how is it right for me to judge him for all these things without knowing what he's been through? I mean, society as a whole essentially cast him aside, right? Lost sponsorships, lost everything. Not his money, but divorced, all the fun stuff. And here we are, like another example of why these role models don't really help you. Because eventually they all fall from grace. There's something about them that if you knew them close enough, you realize they are no different than you or I. Sure, they might have more zeros after their name. They might have more access to more things. They might be on a world stage, but at the end of the day, they are just like we are. And so as I'm at the gym this morning, I'm listening to, I know this is going to be horrible. I'm listening to the new T.I. album. I don't even know what it's called. Somebody posts on social media, like, man, I like T.I. I'm going to listen to what he's got to say. And in that, in one of his songs, I don't even know the title, he is the one that says, fuck a role model, get a real model. I'm like, man, that's brilliant. And so I'm in the locker room, I'm typing notes on my phone. Like, I got an episode based around this because here society tells you to go get a role model. Like, get this person that's going to do all these things. Like, I want to be like Mike. I don't remember if that was Nike. It had to be Nike. It wasn't Gatorade. Either one. Michael Jordan had two of the biggest sponsorships in the world at that point. But even he eventually fell from grace. And so what comes up is you don't need a role model. You need a real model. You need somebody to tell you when you're fucking up You don't need more yes people in your life You don't need people to pat you on your back and tell you how great you are You need the people to call you and say hey, bro. You're being an asshole You need people that you respect enough that when they tell you that you listen enough that when they tell you that, you listen. You need people with the humility to admit their own flaws and faults and in the process of their own progress, and they're sharing that with you. These ivory tower people that we associate with it, they have the answers. We just need to follow their example. I think it's all bullshit. I would much rather have four people call me and say, man, you're messing up right now. You're telling the world you're getting up at 430. We're not getting up until 730. And I know it to be true. Like, own your shit. I care way more about that than if I have access to name somebody, I'll say Michael Jordan again. What do I care about that? That's really get me anywhere. Forget Michael Jordan, Gary Vaynerchuk. We'll make it relevant to the show. Sure. I've met Gary before. I've been in a car with him before all these different things before. It doesn't mean he's my friend. Doesn't mean that he's going to call me and check me up on the fact that I'm doing things that I shouldn't be doing or saying things that aren't true. He'd just be somebody I could look up to from a marketing capacity. I'd much rather have the three, four, five guys around me right now. Curtis, he sits in the office say like, dude, you said you'd do this stuff and you're not doing it.


Cell Phone Appreciation (09:22)

What the fuck is going on with you? Like, that's a real model. That's somebody that he's living his life a certain way. And then holding me to a standard that he's already exhibiting. Like that shit matters way more than what Gary V could possibly think of me in the moment. But I think we got it all twisted as a society. Like we're taught, like I say that a lot and you're like, man, why would, why wouldn't you want to know Gary V though? He's got all this following. He's got all this money, all the success. He's got this all figured out. I don't think so. I personally don't think so. I think he's figured out what works for him, but I don't want his life. I don't want the hustle grind mentality. I don't want to work 16, 17 hours a day and miss out on stuff with my family. And I don't know him, so I don't know that he really misses out on things with his family. That's grossly inappropriate for me to assume that. I know at this point in my life, I value the time I get to spend with my family as much if not more than the time I spend working. I know the time that I spend learning a new craft of boxing or at the gym or getting ready for an Ironman, I value that as much as I value the hustle and the spend meditating or working on metaphysics studies or expanding my capacity as it pertains to a universal connectiveness, a collective consciousness, I value that more than did I make an extra hundred grand a day. And I know that's foreign, right? How are you saying this shit out loud? Because it's what matters to me. I bounce around and live my life. Like, I love the fact that Gary wants to own the Jets. Man, go get it. Have that be your dream. Shoot as high as you want to. I'm sure the man will do it. I'm sure my buddy Ryan Moran will end up owning the tribe, Cleveland Indians. I'm sure about it about I have no doubt He talks about it. He strategizes about it. He's got the success to get it. Give him enough time. He will own that But that's his deal. That's not my deal. I Would rather have the guys around me that propelled me to be the best version of myself and accelerate just a little bit outside my comfort zone. Because I don't want to be Gary Vee. I don't want to be Michael Jordan. I want to be the best version of Ryan Nidell I can possibly be, and that's it every day. And I want that best version to be just a little bit outside my comfort zone. So over enough period of time again Darren Hardy's compounding effect that if I stretch just a little bit every day and I look back over 365 days that I don't even know who I used to be I realized I'm no longer a competition with any you motherfuckers Like it's crazy to say that out loud and truly mean it. Like I'm not in competition with you. Quick story for you. It's been no secret. I'm part of wake up warrior thing that's created by Garrett J. White and not thing. It's a movement. It's a, it's a business. It's an enterprise. It's life-changing for those that go through it. And here I am in a small room with the gentleman that I went through Warrior Week 47 with. We're returning back for an event and an evolution that's called Return of the Kings. Because we went through this additional training and process together. And in this, at the end of the second day, we're in this very normal size room. I'll say 30 by 30. There's 12 of us and there's Garrett and there's some others. And Garrett's sitting right in the middle, right in front of me, looking at me eye to eye. And we sit down and we meditate for a while as a group and we talk through some things. He looks at me and he goes, what are you going to do? And I look at him and I said, I know I'm supposed to be right next to you. I'm not supposed to follow you. That I don't need to be an underling. I need to be next to you. That there is nothing that separates you from me other than time. you from me other than time. And the whole room goes silent. But in this little moment in time, it's like I'm saying to the quintessential God himself, it's almost blasphemy. Oh my God, how is he saying this? And Garrett Locke's eyes peers into my soul as really only I've ever seen Garrett be able to do. and Garrett locks eyes, peers into my soul, as really only I've ever seen Garrett be able to do, and the room is silent for what feels like hours. Inevitably, it was only minutes. And in that, he eventually cracks a small smile, shakes his head, and says, I know. Maintains eye contact, waits a few more seconds, and then looks away. Begins to speak to somebody else. So in this, I had created this environment up until sometime prior to that moment where I could have looked at Garrett as a quote-unquote role model. But something changed in that moment where he was no longer a role model. He was someone that I was equal to.


Capsized (14:51)

And that's a super foreign territory to cross into. Like these people that we assume are this greater version of ourselves, the greatest version of who could be. The only thing that separates you from them is belief in time. Of course, there's energy, effort, consistency, branding, messaging. Like I'm not watering it down to the fact of all you have to do is hang out and eventually going to be the person you idolize. The person you want to emulate. This role model. But in this, like we leave, he leaves and I'm around the guys and I'm like, I can't believe you really said that. Why did you say that? Because I was supposed to. I don't need approval. I don't need him to say like that he believes in me. I don't care if he scoffs and laughs and says, yeah, get real. That'll never happen. Because I believe it in my own skin. Like I know it in my soul. That when I say I'm destined to impact 120 million people's lives, that's not some shit that I'm just coming up with now. That over a long enough time with consistency of branding and messaging and help from people that come into my circle that want to see me do better because they believe in my message and they believe in my transparency and they believe in who I am, I'll get there. The only thing that will slow that down is lack of belief and lack of consistency. And after 180 episodes, I'm not really too worried about that. I challenge you to find one other podcast that's been seven days a week on the iTunes network for the past 180 days that hasn't taken a dollar from sponsorships, that hasn't asked you to buy something, a dollar from sponsorships, that hasn't asked you to buy something, that hasn't gotten incredibly boring to listen to, where someone's droning on about God knows what.


Conclusion (16:32)

And don't get me wrong, I'm sure some of you are tired of hearing me talk. Just turn it off. It doesn't happen. Like this level of consistency is now built inside of me. Like I can truly say, like I'm built for this shit. That's not some sort of humble brag. That's the fact of owning that I'm finally walking in my purpose and that I don't need a role model. I need more people that are real around me to keep me true to where I'm going. Then when I get off track and I get focused on this new great idea that the guys on the team reel me in and say like look jackass that's not gonna get you to 120 million people like we don't need to start another company we got to focus on exactly what we have and bring everything into a funnel cool you're right thanks for the wake-up call so think about your life right now. Think about the way that you're living. Think about who you idolize, who you're thinking you need to emulate. Think about these mental stories you've created that are these idealistic versions of what you think you need to be versus what really could be of the people that you respect the way they're living, but you're afraid to actually say to them, I respect you.


Hints And Suggestions

New/Sidebar (18:01)

Help me be a better person. Hold me accountable. I think about that. Inevitably, you in your life right now have people that you know either directly associated with or just outside the fray that you look at their life like damn man I wish I had that shit they got their stuff figured out in a different way than I do but your pride stops you from saying something to them of asking them how or holding you accountable for your own goals and desires it's crazy to me you have all the resources. Shit, this isn't even something to sell you, but that's what coaches do. That's what I do. You want someone to hold you ruthlessly accountable for your own decisions? Call me. I'll work something out with you. And if it's not me, there's literally thousands of other people on the planet that would hold you accountable. What happens is most people talk about accountability but really don't want it because it's uncomfortable. It's that spotlight gets shining and you're like, man, I said I was going to do this and I didn't do it. Shit, I'm an asshole. And yes, there's plenty of cussing today. I've just been on fire today, so whatever. I'm going to roll with it. plenty of cussing today. I've just been on fire today. So whatever, I'm going to roll with it. So in your life with this accountability and this looking at role models versus real models, where in your life could you do better? Where could you recalibrate what the input is into your life? Is it in your body? Is it in your business? Is it in your relationship? One of those three, if not multiple areas in your life, could use a higher level of accountability. And to stop focusing on what somebody else, this pie-in-the-sky person that ultimately you may or may not really want to emulate, instead of focusing on them, focus on you. Focus on how you grow yourself. Focus on holding yourself accountable. Who I find is, once you work in that accountability, you stop looking at these role models and you find some real models, every day you'll get shit done. you


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