Episode 185: How To Find Balance In Your Life | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "Episode 185: How To Find Balance In Your Life".
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I'm Ryan Neidell, host of 15 Minutes to Freedom, your daily action guide to getting shit done. Today's episode is entitled Balance, so sit back, relax, and enjoy the content. In today's episode, I'm going to share with you why the universe is always trying to come up with a great balance and how that applies to your life every day. So it's interesting. I'm actually balancing in my chair in the studio right now. I'm leaning back. My feet are up on the desk. Really much different than I record every other show. And I did that somewhat subconsciously as I started down this path for this episode. Right before we pressed play, Kurt and I were discussing really the roles of masculine versus feminine energy. And he brought up some really incredible points that I feel are phenomenally important for this conversation. So there's this push in part of the world, and maybe just part of the world that I'm tapped into, to have like this hyper-vigilant machismo, masculine energy type thing.
Discussion On Masculinity And Balance
Masculine energy (01:15)
Like almost going back to, I can't say prehistoric times, but certainly the times, you know, mid-1800s. Like with the beard and like be a man and go outside and create fire with sticks and all that stuff. Go hunt with a knife. Like, and I'm good with that. I'm not judging it. If that's what you're into, man, you got to go do that. And if that's what you align with and that's what you feel defines part of you, I actually encourage you to probably run towards that. part of you, I actually encourage you to probably run towards that. But what I find unique is the fact that in that there's just this complete abomination of a feminine energy inside of a masculine body or vice versa. It is truly my belief after all the studying I've done up to this point in my life, the book a week for the past two years, the now master's degree in, now I say that, I don't have my sheet of paper back yet, but it's approved, but master's degree in metaphysics, working on my doctorate. And you think about it, the world is truly, the universe is truly trying to find balance and equilibrium all the time. We can start with something as simple as a positive and negative charge.
Masculinity & Femininity (02:50)
Why does a positive and negative charge exist? Because they cancel each other out. Why is there a male and female? Like, just keep going down. Why is there light and dark? Why is there y male and female? Like just keep going down. Why is there light and dark? Why is there yin and yang? Like we can keep going down this path over and over again and eventually come to the point that you can't have one thing without the other. You can't experience pleasure if you haven't experienced pain because you wouldn't be able to appreciate either one. So in this whole coaching or, you know, personal development, I'll just say in the man development world, there's this thing where you've got to grow a beard out. You've got to have this long-ass beard. And you've got to know how to kill things. You should go out and hunt and love yourself some guns. You've got to love guns. You've got to love hunting. You've got to love beards. You've got to probably drink every once in a while. Maybe say fuck or shit every once in a while. Like just be a man, just be that guy. We heard that before. Is that, is that something? Am I the only one that's heard that? I can't be. You have to have heard that at some point. But in that, for those people that adopt that ultra masculine energy, I truly believe inside themselves there's a balance that they're seeking.
And they're actually negating part of their genius by not tapping into that equal amount of feminine energy. Now, some do it better than others. So let's say, let me give you an instance, for instance here. Say you're somebody listening right now and you got that massive beard and you're super proud of it. You put the beard oil on it. You keep it trimmed. You keep it shapely. It's just well manicured. Well, to me, in the nature of that, you have both masculine and feminine energy. You are face scaping your facial forest. Keeping your hair aligned. Like, I don't know, you're taking care of yourself. There's something to be said for, I can't even say there's something to be said. There's a hell of a lot to be said for tapping in specifically to you men. Tapping into your feminine side. Like, we are still supposed to show emotion as men. Being ultra masculine doesn't mean avoiding feelings.
At least not in my world. You know, we've been told for years, at least my generation, I'm 34, from my father was to be a man meant to keep a stiff upper lip, to not show emotion, to not cry, don't let people see you sweat, all these things. But that didn't really serve any of us up to this point. The majority of men I know that are my age are repressing more feelings and more emotions than they know what to do with, and it gets bottled up inside. And what happens when it gets bottled up? Eventually that bottle starts to push on its walls too much, it's going to break, it's going to overflow. How's it overflow? Drugs, drinking, porn, promiscuity, steroids, overindulging in the gym. Like it manifests itself in this way that you eliminate balance from your life, in my opinion. And it all stems from trying to tap into this ultra-masculine side of ourselves. Now don't get me wrong, as a man I truly feel like it's my responsibility to know how to protect myself and then through myself, my family. Maybe to some of you listening, that means being able to use a gun inside your home. Maybe it means being able to use your fist. Maybe it means being able to pick up the phone and dial 911 really quickly and then get your family to a safe room and hide. Protection means something different for every one of us. hide. Protection means something different for every one of us. There is not one complete has to be this way definition of protecting. Just like there is not one idealistic perfect way of saying, this is how you have to be a man.
Not for everyone (06:56)
Being a man, or in my opinion, being a woman, means something different to everybody. Adopting to a new societal norm, even if it's a subset of society, you are bound to replicate errors and omissions of the past. That's actually what Kurt and I ended up bridging our conversation into prior to this moment was the fact of going back to that 1800s mentality is not a progression in society, ends up being a long-term regression.
An Insight into the Minds of Men (07:17)
There's a genius in the balance. There's a genius in me walking around as a 265 pound man That's got muscle and feels weaponized And can cuss and can fix a car and do all that stuff But then also being able to go to a nail salon with my daughter And get both of our nails painted To be able to cry on camera when I see my dog has cancer To be able to stare into my wife's eyes and let her know how much I love her by expressing those feelings that could ultimately end up in tears of joy or sorrow for things I've done positive and negative in my life. There's a brilliance of that that I think we miss. And the opposite is true for women. I found more and more that I have way more women listeners than I could ever imagine having brought into my world, which I couldn't be more appreciative for you ladies. But in that, it's okay to have a masculine energy to a feminine body. It's okay to enjoy the gym and enjoy the sweat. It's okay to enjoy the gym and enjoy the sweat. It's okay to be able to handle confrontation and not be submissive. Not only is it okay, I think it's necessary. I think it's necessary for the progression of our species. Now, this doesn't mean, again, we'll talk about power pendulum conversation. It doesn't mean that as a woman, I'm saying all of a sudden stop getting your nails done, let your armpit hair grow out, and just be this aggressive masculine version of yourself. Now, if that's what serves you in the moment, chase it for a while. it for a while. But what I'm saying is the more feminine you are, the more quote unquote girly you are, the more there's somewhere inside of you, there's masculine energy waiting to get out, waiting. Now I'm coaching a client right now, a female, incredible woman. And she has this story that she's built up that she is not supposed to talk back or talk out, speak out, speak up when she doesn't like something because that's not the role of a woman. Well, that's what's been passed down to her from generation to generation. That's been her entire story of her entire life up to this moment. But what's happening is as she's becoming more conscious and aware, these negative feelings and emotions, the repressed anger that she has is still there. It is still real anger. Just because you don't act on an emotion doesn't mean that it doesn't exist. It simply means you haven't done anything with it. And so over time, these emotions are bubbling up inside of her and she doesn't really know what to do with them. She doesn't have an outlet. And so maybe she cries, maybe she doesn't, maybe she goes on her own path. But there's a power and a peace and then ultimately a prosperity and a production on the backside of handling those feelings. There's nothing wrong with a feminine energy with a woman. Let's say this hypothetical woman, and this is not the woman that I'm coaching. Let's say this woman's married. Been married, happily married, things are good in her life. Things are good. And for the past four years she's been married and she's never spoken up. But things are starting to turn, take a turn in her relationship, take a turn in her marriage. She doesn't feel as fulfilled anymore. Kind of just setting into the norm. And her husband's leaving his shoes out and he's not coming home on time and he's not showing the affection she wants him to show. whatever the stories are. She's got two choices, right? First choice, stand up, run into it, have the conversation, lean into the pain, find the feelings and emotions associated with the pain, shift around to the backside of the pain, and find power and productivity on the back of it. That is one option. That takes a skill set to develop to get there. The other option is to keep repressing it, leaving it inside, not do anything with it, never address it. What do you think happens more times than not in that situation? I'll tell you. A knight in shining armor on his white horse rides in, whether accidentally or on purpose, into this hypothetical woman's life and shows her a different level of attention, different level of affection, different level of communication that she ultimately was seeking but was afraid to have the conflict conversations with her husband. And so she found it somewhere else. Because she was afraid of the pushback and the feedback of expressing what I would call her masculine energy. That energy still needs to escape. And how does it escape? In potential infidelity. In sedating with alcohol. In sedating with alcohol. In sedating with porn. In some level of sedation. You see, women are not excluded from this whole shift that's happened. I think many times women have just a better way of hiding it. Maybe it's less socially acceptable for them to say it out loud that they're consistently viewing porn. That their sexual desires aren't met. Now how many women I spoke to in the 1 of 7 challenge that are married, that wanted sex more than once a day day and were embarrassed to say it out loud. They're married. They're in committed relationships. They want more sex. Men, listen up.
Seek Balance (13:30)
This whole balance thing that I'm saying as a universal rule, it actually fucking works if you let it. Men right now, as you're listening, how many of you, not that I'll ever be able to know because I can't see a show of hands, but raise your hand hypothetically if you wanted to have sex once a day. Put your hand down. Women do the same thing. I guarantee if you were all in the same room with your backs to each other so you couldn't see if it was men versus women, the number would be within 3% of identical. It's crazy. There is always balance being sought in the world. I truly believe it's my mindset that you can't have good without bad. So for every one horrible thing that the news channels put on, and I mean the things that are atrocious, pedophilia, rape, genocide, murder, like in marketing, in television, in radio, if it bleeds, it leads. If it makes you cry, it leads. The things that are most painful are what lead every news station. Because they get you hooked, right? You watch, like, oh my God, how could that happen? How could that person do that? What they don't do is then find five other things in the same city that are truly incredible. The man that's building houses for the homeless. The quadriplegic that is finding inspiration and being able to compete in Olympic events based off prosthetics. All the stories of passion and joy, they never get put out there, but they exist. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that mass genocide is outweighed by building houses for the homeless. I'm saying for as many people, unfortunately, as lose their lives, there's the same number of people in my mind that are trying to fix that problem in the same moment. Just nobody talks about those people because it's not sexy, because it doesn't sell advertising, because nobody wants that. It's super crazy. But think about your life right now. Where in your life could you say that you see balance at this capacity? And more importantly, what ultimately changes your life is where's your balance out of whack? I'm going to start with the one that I think is most relevant. Your personal life. Where in your personal life as a man are you not tapping into your feminine energy?
Where do you need balance? (16:23)
Or as a woman, are you not tapping into your masculine energy? Where do you know that you could be served better by having a little bit more of the opposite sex outwardly expressed in your emotional wheelhouse? What about in your business? Where are things there that are just not balanced? Like for me, just call my own side, I've been putting in far too many hours to not have balance anywhere else in my life. Workouts aren't as good. Family time is not as good. There's just some things I'm recalibrating my own level of balance. And same thing in my body really go down the transfer of energy as it comes into veganism and being a carnivore and how that looks and this is a super polarizing topic but as time is progressing I'm becoming more conscious and aware of the way that I feel as I consume different products, meat-based products, in copious amounts as I used to be a bodybuilder, there's something energetically that happens as I consume meat. It's almost like the universe is trying to balance itself out.
Herd mentality (17:30)
Maybe because of how much meat I've consumed for so long, maybe it's time to just consume vegetables for a while. And maybe that cow that... I'll preface this as I'm off on a little tangent. That Lindsay and I go pick out our cow every year. We go to a farm. We're able to pick out a cow. We're able to see the cow. I could talk to the cow. I could pay homage and shower the cow with grace of the fact of what he's going to go through is going to nourish myself and my family for a whole year. Now, I suppose the better side of that would be not only to do that, but to be there for the raising of the cow, to consistently bless this cow, and then to ultimately end the cow's life myself. Then to butcher, quarter, do the whole thing with the cow, like with my own hands.
Inflammation 1137 (18:29)
I'm not that quite deep into this rabbit hole yet. But in that, when I eat this meat, I don't feel nearly as bad. I don't get the same inflammation. And maybe it's because it's grass fed. Maybe it's like the purest beef that could exist in my mind comes from this Ohio based cow. But maybe it's also the fact that I took time to be appreciative of what that cow is going to go through. And the fact that the food is coming into me to nourish myself and my family actually has value and benefit. And that slaughterhouse that slaughters this cow, I know does in the most humane way they possibly can. Or it's not an afterthought that I walk into the local grocery store, and I pick a slab of meat under a light that's wrapped in cellophane, and take it home with no forethought of how it got there. I just think there's something to be said for this balance. And I know for certain in my own life, and I'm going to encourage it in yours, that when I start to become more aware of balance and how the universe is trying to level the playing field on a daily basis, and I lean into what I'm supposed to, And I lean into what I'm supposed to and I lean away what I'm supposed to. I find out that every day I'm able to get shit done. you