Episode 198: The Stack | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 198: The Stack".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is The Stack. Sit back, relax, and enjoy the content. In today's episode, I'm going to share with you a tactical piece of advice that will reframe any negative situation and find a positive outcome. So what I'm about to share with you is almost referred to as sacred doctrine. And I say sacred doctrine because it comes from Wake Up Warrior. If you don't know Wake Up Warrior and you're new to the podcast, go check out wakeupwarrior.com or thekingskit.com for more information. It's something that a guy named Garrett J. White founded and started. It's something that's made a massive impact in my life, has completely reframed my belief system. But in that, one of the core methodologies, one of the core pieces of training that we go through is understanding something called the stack. And the stack was something that was created in order to help us or help you find a level of personal power and accountability. So what the stack is, it ends up being a series of 30 questions that you go through and you find out a different way to view a situation. So I'm going to walk you through a stack real time. Now, when you're part of Wake Up Warrior, you get an opportunity to have software to use and you have all these tools. So admittedly, if you watch this on social media, I literally have my phone in my hand to make sure that I don't mess up any part of this. Because, again, I want to reiterate, this is not mine. I did not create this. I just use it every day to restructure and reframe my belief system and ultimately personal power. So the first step of the stack is you name it. You name the piece of paper that you're going to write on. And this is a daily activity. Now, daily to me means days that end in Y are days you should do this. That would be every day, Monday through Sunday, 365 days a year. The stack is a non-negotiable piece of information. And you'll see why as we go through it. So in my stack right now, the first question is, what are you going to title this stack?

In-Depth Analysis Of Aggression

Commentary (02:27)

I'm going to title this stack, Lindsay being sick. So that's what I'm mad about right now. Like my wife is sick. We can't figure out what's going on with her. We don't exactly know how to fix it. And so we're confused on what to do. I'm mad about it. This is something I'm pissed off about, quite honestly. I'm pissed off, I'm scared, and you'll see why here in a moment. So from this part, the first question is, what area of the core four are you triggered by? Now again, if you're new to this podcast, the core four is body, being, balance, and business.

Tribes (03:00)

Literally every aspect of your life will fit into one of those four buckets if you think about it hard enough. Well, body is pretty self-explanatory. That's the functioning of your body. Being is your connection to a higher power, God, or your spirituality. Balance is your relationship to your wife, your kids, others around you. And business, well, that's how you make money. So obviously the area of core four that. I'm stacking today is balance So on the backside of selecting balance the first question that we ask is who are you stacking? My I am stacking my wife Lindsey's sickness That's the first answer So in stacking my wife Lindsey's sickness, what about that person am I stacking? That's question number two. What about that person are you stacking? I am stacking her inability to be healthy. healthy. So as I'm literally taking these pauses, I know you can't see this, but I'm typing in my phone into a chat bot system that's created by Wake Up Warrior. So as I'm typing this in, the next question that pops up is, what feelings best describe your current state of being? Well, I've already explained it. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm frustrated. I'm angry I'm sad I'm frustrated I'm mad I'm confused literally if you were doing a stack right now you'd write down every emotion associated with that story there is no limit to this there is no right or wrong they're simply the emotions that you feel in that moment so after I write down those emotions and type them in, the next question that gets asked is in this moment, why has I am stacking my wife's sickness triggered me to feel the emotions I just stated? So I said, angry, sad, frustrated, mad, and confused. My answer to that is because we don't know what's going on and she's not herself. I know that these pauses make it very difficult as a listener, so my apologies, but I can only type so quickly. So I'm typing this. The next question that pops up is, in this moment, if you could scream at, I am stacking Lindsay and her sickness, what would you say? Now this is part of a stack that is a little difficult for newbies the first time you go through this. Maybe in the first 20 times you go through this. This is that moment during a stack where you say all the stuff you're not supposed to say out loud. Now you type it, you write it, you handwrite it, but you are, this is the part of this that we would refer to internally as release the rage. So if I could scream at my wife's sickness, it would be all types of crazy stuff. So if you have kids in the car, I'd encourage you to either tell them to put on earmuffs or pause this or skip ahead a minute and backfill this later. But really, like if I could scream at anything and be like, fuck you, motherfucker. Like what the fuck is going on? This is bullshit. Like you've been sick for fucking three months and we can't figure out what the fuck it is. Why can't a goddamn doctor get their shit together and figure out the fucking answers to your life? And you just go like all the stuff that you need to say, all the vulgarity doesn't have to make sense to anybody. There's a reason you release the rage and that's so there's nothing else left inside. The old stories that no longer hold you hostage. So you get as real and raw with that as you possibly can the next question that comes up during this process is in this moment if you could force I'm stacking Lindsay's sickness to say feel or do anything what would it be so what would I force her sickness to do I would force her sickness to go away. It's just that simple. Like, that's what I want. That's the desired outcome. So after we've established what we want to have happen next, the next question we have to ask ourselves is, in this moment, with no filter or constraints, what do you truly think about Lindsay's sickness? These are typically adjectives tied around emotions. So what do I truly think about Lindsay's sickness? These are typically adjectives Tied around emotions So what do I truly think about it? I think it's bullshit I think the doctors are inept I think it makes me feel helpless And these conversations just keep going This is real time I didn't pre-plan this. I'm literally stacking as I'm sharing this with you. The following question that comes up during this process is, in this moment, what is it that you do not ever want to experience in the future with Lindsay's sickness?

The facts (07:52)

I don't ever want her to be sick again. Lindsay's sickness. I don't ever want her to be sick again. Now, I know some of you right now are literally sitting here saying like, that's not possible. People get sick. I get it. This is not what is possible or not. This is void of logic. It's what do I want in the future? If I could do anything, what do I not want to have happen? I don't want my wife to be sick. I don't want to be confused about what's going on. The next question on the stack is, what are the facts about the situation that has triggered you?

What is the story (08:33)

Well, the facts about the situation as it pertains to this is that we have went to countless specialists, had heart rate monitors, had blood panels done, been to gynecologists, been to plastic surgeons, had allergy tests done. If you can name a test, we have now had it done. Cardiologists. The facts are we've spent the better part of three months trying to figure out what is not going right inside of her body. Get as detailed as you can here. This is not a time to hold back. All this work you're doing, it might seem long and laborious, but you'll find out why in the end. So I'm typing. And then the next question is, what is the story created by the trigger that you are telling yourself and others? I am telling myself Lindsay will never get better.

Road rage (09:28)

Now in that, it's important for you to be real with yourself. Like we tell a story around things that make us angry. Let's take something very cliche, like road rage for a second. A guy cuts you off and then slams on his brakes and flicks you off. The story you're telling yourself right now is that guy's probably an asshole. That's the story, right? Like, fuck that guy. That's your story. You don't know if he's racing to get his sick kid to the hospital. You don't know if he's had a bad day at work. You don't know if he's on the brink of suicide. You just are thinking, fuck this guy. That's the story that he's an asshole. The next question you need to ask yourself is to describe the feelings that arise for you when you tell yourself the answer to the previous question. So for me, it's describe the feelings that arise for me when I tell myself that Lindsay will never get better. I feel sad, nervous, anxious. Admittedly, I start to think about feeling lonely. These are all real feelings. What happens if that goes on? Well, that long-term, I wouldn't have my wife. She's lost. She's went down from 125 pounds walking around, way to about 110 pounds. There's something that's not firing the right way inside of her. The next question we have to ask ourselves is to describe the specific thoughts or desired actions that arise for you when you tell yourself that Lindsay will never get better. Well, desired action is that I just stop everything I'm doing and don't stop every day until we find out the answer. That's what I want to do. That's what's on my mind right now. That's what's on my mind right now. The question after that is, what evidence do you have to prove the story to be true? I am telling myself Lindsay will never get better. How can I prove that that story is absolutely true? Well, the only facts I have around the situation that would prove it to be true are that it's been 90 days and we can't figure out what's wrong. So that's the facts. It's been 90 days. We can't figure it out. 90 days with no answers. Now, I know as you're listening, like this is a tactical advice episode. It's choppy. It doesn't flow all that well. It's off cadence from what a typical episode would be. I encourage you to go back and listen to this a few times and to try to write this down. And if you want more information on it, go to my website, ryanneidel.com, R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L.com, and just submit like an inquiry to be a part of my mailing list. Admittedly, yes, I want your email address. I'm going to send you free shit. The first thing I'll send you, if you put in there that you want a stack, I'll send you a stack. I know that the power in this will change your life if you allow it to. But much like anything else, and something that I preach, if you will, consistently, is that you have to have consistency. Doing this one time because you get excited won't change your life. Doing this six days in a row does not mean you get a pat on the back. Doing this for a year straight, you start to have real-time processing power to no longer allow limiting beliefs and angry, frustrating situations to slow down your progressive growth. It completely changes the way you view the world. In saying that, the next question that's a part of this process is, I am telling myself Lindsay will never get better. Is that true? Yes or no? Yeah, that's true to me That question was followed up by am I a hundred percent sure this is actually true It's like a litmus test. Like are you are you 100% sure she's never gonna get better? I've answered no I like to believe she's gonna get better So right now the next question is Ryan what might be possible for you if this story was false? Possible for me is I'd have a happy, healthy wife that enjoyed our time together, that was just the typical vibrant version of herself. That would be the truth. That is not what I have right now. This continues to then go on and the next part of this is getting very clear about what we want in the situation so the next question that we have to go through is regardless of the emotional trigger associated with my wife never getting better and the current story around it what do you truly want for you in the situation? So what do I want for me as it pertains to this? I want my healthy wife back. That's what I want.

Mirror (14:32)

It's just for me. It's one of the rare times in your life, if you're like 98% of the population, that you get to put yourself first. What do you want in the situation?

Releasing rage (14:44)

that you get to put yourself first. What do you want in the situation? The next question you're going to ask yourself is what do you want for in this Lindsay not feeling healthy? I want her sickness to go away. Pretty simple, right? Pretty self-explanatory. The following question is then how do you mirror those two together?

Review of situation (15:04)

What do you want or what do I want in this situation for myself and Lindsay's sickness? How do I want those to coincide? I want to work hand in hand to find answers for Lindsay and myself. That's what I want for both of us. That's what I want for both of us. So in that, we've now kind of figured out some pieces and parts. We got really clear on releasing the rage. We let go of all these things that slow us down. From that, we got into getting clear about the facts of the situation. After we got clear on the facts of the situation, now we started to shift and we started to look at what we want for us and for the situation we're involved in.

Walk the block (15:45)

Now is where it gets really impactful. This is a part called walk the block. It's called walk the block because we're going to look at the four different sides of this equation. You got to figure, let's take it back to the guy that cut you off in traffic. My wife being sick is not your problem. I get it. I don't want it to be. But inevitably, some guy cuts you off. That's life. That's driving on the roadways.

Move toward the desired version (16:14)

So in this, you start looking at the original story. So my original story is that Lindsay is never going to get better. What's the me version then? We're starting to walk around this block with the original story being in the middle. So the front side of the block is what's my version? What's the me version then like we're starting to walk around this block with the original story being in the middle So the front side of the block is what's my version like what's me? Well, I could say that I'm never gonna get better And Getting better in this situation could be any number of things, you know for me. We all have ailments We have things that slow us down And then there's a there's a quick litmus test for that question. So you ask yourself the original story. What's the me version? The me version is I'm never going to get better. Then what evidence do I have to prove this to be true? Well, I hurt every morning when I wake up. My stomach has knots, and I'll just leave it at that for right now, for brevity's sake. So we'll call that that front side. And really, it's more the left side. The front side of the story is the original story. The left side is the me version. The right side, or the back side, is the original story. The left side is the me version. The right side or the back side is the opposite version. So if the original story that I'm telling myself is that Lindsay will never get better, what's the opposite version? Lindsay will get better right away. So in Lindsay getting better right away, it's what evidence do I have to prove that that could be true? Well, she feels better from time to time. And I believe she can focus on positive thoughts and help herself heal. That is truthful. That is her life. Then the final side of this, the backside or the right side, however you want to look at it, we've now made a square, is the original story is I'm telling myself Lindsay will never get better. What's the desired version of the story? My desired version is Lindsay gets better quickly and returns to her normal self. In that, what evidence do I have to prove that that could be true? Well, the evidence that I have is we go to countless specialists and we have four more doctor's appointments this week. specialist and we have four more doctor's appointments this week. Something is going to shake itself loose. So now that we have all those pieces together, now we go back and we ask which version is going to really give us what we want.

Whichever Version You Choose (18:53)

So the original story is I'm telling myself Lindsay will never get better. What I wanted is my healthy wife back. Will the original story give me what I want? No, if Lindsay never gets better, I don't get my healthy wife back. The me version is I'm never going to get better and what I want is my healthy wife back. So the version of me never getting better, will that make Lindsay healthy? The answer is no. Of course, now we get to the opposite version. That would be that Lindsay gets better right away. Would that give me what I want? The answer, of course, is yes. And then the desired version, that Lindsay goes to the doctor's appointments and figures out what's wrong, and we treat it so that she remains healthy. Of course, that also gets me what I want as well. So now, out of those four options, we get to decide which version of the story We're going to adopt which is the one that we're gonna take now In this version, I'm gonna take the desired Part the desired version is Lindsay gets better quickly by going to the doctor and finding the correct answer. I'm choosing that now Through this and the next question that we have to ask is or answer is why am I choosing this story? Why am I choosing the desired version of the story? I'm choosing because it makes me feel most at peace That's my truth that's my because In that The next version of this is kind of the shift. It's like the light. It's the positive side. So we've discussed how we feel.

The Android-Ball (20:29)

We've released the rage. We've gotten real with the story. We know how the me version fits in and how the version that is currently existing in the world and how they can coincide. We've then walked the block on the various outcomes. And now we kind of do a recap. So as it stated, what triggered you about the event? Like what was the trigger event? My trigger event was Lindsay just can't seem to get better. I'm stacking her in an inability to be healthy. I said I wanted my healthy wife back. The story I chose was the desired version of the story, which is we keep going to specialists and we find the right answer that's meaningful and impactful and tangible that we can stick to it. So why has this triggering event, why has Lindsay being sick become a positive? Well, this always is a cause for pause. This is something like, well, how do we actually get something positive out of Lindsay being sick?

Exploration Of Triggers And Insights

What the Trigger Has Become (21:24)

Well, the trigger has been positive because it makes me spend more time with her. It makes me be more present. It makes me be a better husband. Those are positive. The next question is, what is the lesson that I have learned from this trigger? Well, if the trigger event is the fact that Lindsay can't seem to get healthy, the lesson that I've learned from this trigger is to not take health for granted. That's just what it is. So in not taking health for granted, we have to now apply that. Like it's never enough to just realize there's a gift somewhere. We have to apply it to the core four, body, being, balance, and business.

Physical Domain (22:15)

So the lesson I learned was to not take health for granted. How does that apply to my body domain? How does that apply to that part? What applies where I have to put good food in it? I have to rest the right way. I have to exercise the right way. That the details matter. I need to stay away from sugar, to stay away from alcohol. Do all the small things because if I don't, I'm essentially taking my health for granted. So that's just how that part works. Of course, as we shift to being, that becomes a little more difficult, right? How do you position taking your health for granted as it pertains to being? Or for me, it's the fact of when I meditate, I want to be so present in my body that I can feel the aches and pains and focus my energy on helping them disappear. Almost that self-healing power. Again, this is something that Dr. Joe Dispenza discusses in Becoming Supernatural, is really your ability to heal yourself with your mind. And I don't care how woo-woo that sounds to many of you, it's worth a freaking shot. What do you have to lose by focusing 15 or 20 minutes a day on making yourself feel better? So it's focusing that meditation. making yourself feel better. So it's focusing that meditation. As it pertains to balance and not taking my health for granted, what that means to me is the fact of I want to make sure that my family is making those healthy eating decisions and that we're pouring love and respect into one another when we're around each other and that we're present in the moment because nothing can be taken for granted. There could come a day where we're not all around each other. Some of us could pass away. Some of us could be incapacitated. And of course, I'm hoping that doesn't happen. That's not part of this story. But now this is making me realize how precious this really is. The final question to answer is, how does it apply to your business domain? Well, this answer might surprise you, but the way not taking my health for granted applies to my business domain is having a stop time that work just goes away and I get to focus on the family. That my family and my health have to matter more than the almighty dollar that we all chase. That's how it applies to my business domain. So now we really get to get the impactful part.

Most Significant Insight/Revelation (24:23)

What is the most significant insight or revelation you're leaving this stack with? For me, my most important revelation at this moment, as it feels like it's literally beamed down from a higher power or comes from my soul or comes from wherever, is I have to matter most. Now that might be, again, a little confusing. How is it the fact that my wife being sick translates into I have to matter the most? Well, it's very simple. From taking it and applying it to the four areas of my life, if I look at the gift that comes from that, I have to make certain that what I'm doing for me comes first. Because if I'm not healthy and I'm not happy, how can I take care of my wife? If I'm not healthy and happy and grounded, how can I take care of my daughter? How can I show up for my family so that no matter what goes on in their life, that I'm there and I'm capable of handling the situation. That's why I have to matter the most. The next question we answer is, why do you feel this insight or revelation is significant? Well, for me, it's significant because it's very common for me to put myself last. You know, it's simple to default to, I'll take care of others before myself, but really, I'm not able to serve others if I don't serve me. That's why it's so significant.

Action & Label (25:45)

That's why it's so impactful to me is I forget that lesson all the time. So now that we've walked all the way around this, what is the action that must be taken in the next 48 hours? For me, the action is I have to be home by 6.30 PM and put my phone away to be with my family two times the next 48 hours.

Why Its Necessary (26:09)

So for the next two days. I need to be there and just be with them, love them, be a part of them. The next question is, why is this action a must for me? It's a must because I have to keep putting myself first. And through putting myself first and disassociating with work Then I can put myself first for them Pretty crazy, right? I Think of every time that you got mad at something you took the time to write out these questions and figure out your own answers So, how will I know that I've completed this action? How will I know that I left at 6.30?

Who Will Know (26:40)

Well, for me, I'll call my wife in the car by 6.31 and tell her that I'm coming home. That's how I'll know it's completed. I literally have a phone log that shows it.

Physical States

States Physically (27:00)

It makes it no more difficult than that. So now, it's what describes my current state of being. So obviously when I came into this, I was upset that Lindsay, we just can't figure out how to make her healthy. But now as I've walked the block and I've done all these things and I found new perspective and realized that I have to put myself first, I feel happy. I feel alive. I feel committed. I feel inspired. I feel strong. I feel powerful. I feel endless things of like knowing, okay, now there's a path here. I have to come first. At the end of the stack, you get to rate yourself on really a scale of one to four. One being like, I just kind of went through the motions. I'm barely alive. Two being, I feel okay, but it wasn't that impactful. Three being like, I'm good. I'm ready to go. And four being, I can take on the fucking world right now. Admittedly, after going through the stack, I feel like a number four. I feel a blaze right now. I feel ready to completely rock and roll. That is the 30 questions for the stack. That's how this stack game works. In all the genius that is Garrett J. White and Wake Up Warrior, that daily action creates massive ripples in your life and your family's life if you apply it. Again, I need to reiterate, doing this once or twice or for a series of days that maybe turn into a week or two, sure, it'll give you clarity in the moment, but it doesn't change your core operating system and your belief system. It just won't. In order to make an impact, you have to make a commitment to this for at least 90 days straight. And what I guarantee is when you make it to 90 days, you'll end up just keep going. Like I've missed maybe two stacks, maybe it's three, I've missed maybe two stacks, maybe it's three, in the past year and a half. And sure, I can come up with some bullshit reason, but part of this lifestyle is not doing that. I didn't own my own place. I didn't own my commitment to myself, and so I didn't do a stack. Admittedly, I feel like I'm leaking power when I don't take the time to truly go through all those steps. So I'm going to completely wrap this up in a nice shiny bow for you is, if you implement the stack, if you go back through and listen to this episode, and you type out those 30 questions, and you go through them every day, and you actually do the work, or you shortcut it, and you get on RyanNidell.com and pop me your email address and I'll send it to you. If you do either one of those and you get on RyanNidell.com and pop me your email address and I'll send it to you. If you do either one of those and you actually apply it, you'll find out that every day you get shit done. you

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