Episode 234: It's An Imperfect Game | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 234: It's An Imperfect Game".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes of Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is It's an Imperfect Game. Episode is, it's an imperfect game. In today's episode, I'm going to share with you why trying to obtain perfection could potentially be limiting your amount of success. So it's interesting. Today is Monday. Had a great weekend and came in really on fire as it pertains to my coaching clients. Had a relaxing, restful weekend. Got to read a lot, got to study a lot, got to increase my capacity and just felt good. I wear something called a whoop on my wrist. You might see it in some of these videos. It's red, hold it up right here. You can pick different band colors. Whoop does not sponsor the show, but whoop has completely changed my life. It's whoop.com. What Whoop does is it helps you track and monitor almost every variable about your fitness life and your life in general. How much sleep you get, your resting heart rate, calories you burn, steps you take. But it's not a fancy fitness tracker, right? It's not a Fitbit. It's something much more impactful than that. right? It's not a Fitbit. It's something much more impactful than that. It's impactful because it monitors your sleep and your REM sleep and breathing patterns and all types of crazy things that it actually is correlating with the amount of stress you've had on your body, the amount of sleep that you need, and the quality of sleep you need to see your recovery score. Like how well could you perform it at peak capacity? And so not only did I wake up feeling good today, but my whoop told me I was feeling good. It told me I was at 99% recovery. I don't recall any time since having this device on my wrist where I've been above a 90% recovery. I never take a day off from the gym. I never slow myself down. I never just sit back and relax. Like my average day is about 7,500 calories burnt. relax, like my average day is about 7,500 calories burned. Over the weekend, I burned less than 3,000 calories a day, which then you could assume was because I was fairly sedentary, right? I walk around at 265 pounds. So my amount of lean muscle mass and just really carrying this meat sack around every day burns about 2,500 calories. That's just about what it takes to keep me alive. That burns about 2,500 calories. That's just about what it takes to keep me alive. How about thriving, not alive? I share all that because as I come in and speak to my clients today, there's this repetitive pattern. Like, man, don't you ever just want to stop? Like what happens when you just don't have the fire to hit your core four in the morning or to stack or to do the things you know you need to do. What do you do? Does that ever happen to you? And it was a little bit back to back phone calls. First phone call for me is 11 a.m. Second one is at 12 noon. I'm like, man, this is great. This is something I need to cover. The universe is telling me this is not the only, these are not the only two individuals having this question. And so the most direct answer is, of course, yes. There are plenty of days where I wake up and do not want to get up. There's ample days. Think about yourself. Maybe even as you're consuming this right now, as you're listening to this episode, there's a chance you did not want to get out of bed this morning, right? And if it wasn't today, it was probably yesterday. And if it wasn't yesterday, it was sometime in the past week. We've all had those days. Now, I own the fact I live in an extreme dimension, right? I check a lot of boxes off. Those boxes I've tested and then optimized and worked through to see what makes me feel best in my own skin. See, even in my coaching practice, I don't believe that the way that I live is a way that you have to live to have an optimized life. I believe we have to uncover what's successful inside of your operating system and then unlock more of that, truly. But as I've done that and I've been doing that with these two particular clients, I'm reminded of the fact that the game of life that we are playing, we are all playing it. Right? Now, you can assume that you're not playing it and be passed up. You can decide you're playing it but just kind of stay stagnant. Or you can decide you're playing it and you can want to do everything you can to win at it. But winning is something that gets to be decided by you, not by anybody else. This is not a game of Monopoly. I can't say, oh, I had more money at the end, so I win. That's not winning in life. We all have our own litmus test for what success and winning looks like. And so for me, winning is doing things to put myself in what I'll call personal power every day.

Philosophies On Life And Progress

Winning is something that gets to be decided by you (04:43)

I've covered this in a multitude of episodes, so I don't want to bore you with it. But if you're new to the show, it's meditation and journaling and letting my wife and my daughter know how much I love, honor, and appreciate them. And drinking a green smoothie, it's getting up and working out of sweat. It's doing things for me as it pertains to reading a book to propel my coaching business ahead or to do things to expand my capacity and then figure out how to apply them to my daily life. It's then taking a couple minutes every day and reframing negative things that have happened to me through a process called the stack, reframing these negative things, finding a positive gift in the backside of it and then figuring out how to apply them or apply that gift to body, being, balance, and business. That happens every morning. And I say every morning, that's a little bit of a lie. It happens every day. Because some days, like on a Saturday where I don't sleep in, I put my flag in the ground that I wake up between 4.30 and 5 every morning. But Saturday morning, the alarm goes off. I get up, I get out of bed, go to the bathroom, shut off the alarm, look at myself in the mirror and say, you know what? I'm going back to sleep. Turned around, did an about face, went back into bed, crawled in, held my wife close to me, and decided to sleep until 9 a.m. Now, even at 9 a.m., my wife and I woke up. We had conversations in bed. She got out of bed and I decided to stay there for another hour and a half. Better part of 1030. Right? I did that without feeling any shame and guilt. Think of all the times in your life right now where you did things and you were riddled with shame and guilt because someone else would have said they were bad when you knew inherently you just wanted to do them for you. That was my Saturday. I just stayed in bed. Then I got out of bed. I showered. I spent some time with Gianna. We played some games. We watched some movies together. We just had a good time with her and I because Lindsay was out of the house. Lindsay comes back, hates Gian go do some stuff. That's a girl time stuff and that's when I meditate. That's my journal That's when I read that's why some my letters of appreciation That's my drink my green drink And my quote-unquote going to the gym that day was actually an intentional recovery day boxing coach said stay away I didn't it was tough. I want to go run. I want to go do things, but I stayed away. So I still got my boxes checked, right? But they're not in the typical time that I do them.

This Game of Life (06:53)

They're not in the typical fashion I do it. It's a pivot. I had to do something different for me because this game of life that we're all playing is not a perfect game, right? Like I'm only comparing myself to myself's best performance, but my best performance gets to be decided by me, not by someone else. Perfection is not obtainable, right? Because who gets to determine perfection? Where is this perfect day that I can hold up to somebody else's perfect day and see which one was more perfect? I don't believe it exists. Think of how many times you were comparing yourself to other people, whether it's in the magical, mystical land of social media or the friends you talk to on the phone. You're like, man, they just got everything all figured out.

Comparing yourself to others (08:00)

Look at them taking these trips. Look at them in their fancy cars and their nice watches. And you were comparing yourself over and over. And what happens when you compare yourself? I've never compared myself and really felt that superior, right? There's something that triggers inside of me that makes me feel inferior. And from that inferior place comes a mindset of scarcity. And from that mindset of scarcity comes scarce actions and constraints. And from that mindset of scarcity comes scarce actions and constraints. And from that place of constraints and scared actions comes lack of everything that I actually want. And how did it all start? By comparing myself to someone else. Think about that. Think of all the times that you are comparing yourself to somebody else trying to see how you stack up when the game of life is only played it's a one-person game you're only playing it versus yourself you can't really be better than or less than anyone other than your previous day's performance and if you're making attempts and you're swinging the bat trying to take a step forward to achieve more than you did the day before, wouldn't that be a certain level of success? Even if the outcome wasn't desirable, even if it wasn't what you were striving for, wouldn't you then still have more than you had the day before when you didn't try? So the answer to my client's questions this morning was hell yes. I have plenty of days where I don't wake up on fire. I have plenty of days where I check the boxes in the way that I see fit for the day because I know that I have to do the things because I feel better about myself when I do them. Not because I care if someone finds out I don't do them. Not because it matters if other guys I run with also check those same boxes or not. Those things don't even register in my mind anymore because the game I'm playing is solo.

Checking the boxes (09:46)

Just like the game you're playing is solo. Right? But not in the sense that you're alone. In the sense that you're only competing against your previous day's best. I don't want to botch this message. You have the opportunity and the option to succeed beyond your wildest imaginations. But you can't really get there if you're so concerned with momentary successes on days in which you feel like you have to be perfect. What happens when we move that perfection meter out 30 days or 90 days or six months? You start taking incremental chunks of time towards growth where any individual day doesn't define your successes or failures. It just is a step in a direction towards what you're achieving. It completely changes your perspective because there's going to be variables that come into every day that you live, right? I think about this. How many variables did you incur as you drove into work? A little bit more traffic than normal, a little bit longer line in Starbucks.

Inside the idea of progress (11:01)

You forgot something at the house. You remembered you had commitments that you didn't hold up to. There's just variables. There's things. It gets a little cold outside. Tire pressure drops on one of your tires. You get that annoying little light that turns on that says you have a low tire. There is not a perfect game. You can just try to maximize your day to the best of your ability. And you're going to maximize your day across the three areas that we talk about, right? We're going to talk about it inside of your fitness routine. There's this misnomer that going to the gym is the only way to work out. And I hear this over and over again in the clients that I'm working with. Look, they committed to working out, they committed to doing this, and they feel riddled with shame and guilt because they didn't make it to the gym. And if they can't go all the way in, they're not going to do it at all. I got to call bullshit. Shift that mentality. So you woke up late. So you can't make it. You physically know timing-wise you can't make it to the gym and to make it to the office on time and need to make the office on time so you can stay employed. I get it. I've been there before. Wouldn't it be better for you if you stopped, did 50 air squats, 20 pushups, 20 sit-ups, 20 dips, anything you could do to try to break a sweat prior to getting in the shower? Couldn't you have that entire workout done in probably five minutes if you push hard enough? And wouldn't you feel better about yourself than not doing it at all? It's all from a perspective change, right? Because there is no perfect. So if a perfect day is going to the gym, what makes it any different that the gym now becomes your bathroom as the shower is warming up so you burn up a little more of a sweat? Same thing as it pertains to your relationships, right? Like you have this idea of a perfect date night. I'm going to really wow my wife. I'm going to pick up roses on the way home. I have a reservation at this great dinner spot and I'm going to focus only on her. I'm going to open her door and only be focused on everything about her Then way home there's an accident And we miss our reservations And handed the flowers, but I noticed that one of the flowers is dead And I want to have conversation with just her but her phone rings and it's our daughter and she's got things going on She needs to talk to us rings and it's our daughter and she's got things going on. She needs to talk to us. Does it mean the date was any less perfect or was it perfect in its fact that it existed?

Ebbs and flows of business (13:30)

And business, business is atrocious. I think that any day inside a business or any business as a whole is ever going to truly be perfect. Every business is a process. Every business has its ebbs and flows. Maybe in your business right now, you're working for someone else and you're looking for the perfect opportunity to go have that tough conversation with your boss about either not working there anymore or asking for a raise. I'll tell you exactly when the perfect time is right now. Literally this moment, pick up the phone and call, stop this or schedule an appointment with them to go talk to them There is not going to be a perfect time the perfect time exists when you make the time to make it important And what I found is when you quit trying to live in this game of perfection you start living in the game of reality That everything is a process of progress Every day you'll get shit done.

Communication Tools

Pick up the phone (14:01)


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