Episode 310 - Should I Be A Coach? | What I Believe It Means To Be A Coach | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "Episode 310 - Should I Be A Coach? | What I Believe It Means To Be A Coach".
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This is 15 Minutes of Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is listener requested, should I be a coach? listener requested, should I be a coach? Today's episode, I'm going to unpack what I believe it means to be a coach and if it's for you or not. So maybe it's based off of the success that I apparently have, right? I don't have to say apparently. I have success in the coaching industry. I'm an incredible coach. I have 30, 40, 50, 60. I'd have to count them up, but I have case studies that prove it. I have reps. I have time under tension. I'm consistently being coached now by multiple people. I'm getting additional accreditations. I'm consistently reading books to better my practice, and I pour in with my entire heart and soul into my clients when I look them dead in the eye for at least an hour a week on a Zoom phone call. I'm proud of what I built. I'm proud of from where I came from to who I am today, which is truly going to be unrecognizable to who I'm going to be in the future. Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe you're going through the same thing yourself. Maybe this is how fiery and passionate you feel about to be in the future. Does any of this sound familiar? Maybe you're going through the same thing yourself. Maybe this is how fiery and passionate you feel about your life in this moment. I love it. I truly love that. But that fire and passion is contagious. I understand that. I speak with conviction because I have conviction internally. I'm not faking it till I make it. I know my quality. I know my value and I know my worth. I no longer have to doubt if I'm good, if I'm qualified, if I'm successful, if I'm driven. These aren't things that anymore rattle around in my head. Admittedly, for quite some time, they have not. They have went away. But from the way I speak, the way I conduct myself, maybe the client stories that I share, maybe the consistency in the reps of the podcast here, whatever it is, I have been inundated lately with, I can count seven different individuals in the past week that have messaged me about jumping into this space called coaching. Now I want to share with you, I love it. If you feel called to help other people live their best quality life, it's a calling that reaps rewards like no other. But those rewards are not financial. Sure, there is financial gain at some point way off in the distance. Sure, there is financial gain at some point way off in the distance. If you think as you're watching this that I am a coach based off the massive amount of income that I make versus all the other and $30 a client selling 50, 100, 150 clients a day on almost autopilot that I got rid of so I could go full go into coaching. This is not a money play. Then maybe you're thinking, well, these people might be thinking, maybe it's a lifestyle play, right? It just seems like it's easy. You just hop on a phone call and you talk to somebody. You counsel them through some things. And it's good, right? It's just no stress. Well, that's laughable, right? When you sit across from someone and you're eye to eye with them and they're crying. They're sobbing. They're on the brink of divorce. They're addicted to drugs. They're contemplating suicide. Their bodies are breaking down on them. Their businesses are failing. They don't know which way is up. They've lost touch with God and they don't feel like they have a purpose. And you're seeing this shell that we all walk around and become unraveled in front of you. And they are trusting in you to help them find their own peace, power, and then prosperity through their pain. It's heavy. It's not something I take lightly and it's not something you should take lightly So I sit there and I look And I peer into their eyes and I can feel their soul like it's a different type of connection It's connection that I wouldn't trade for anything in the world at this point I know that I was called to do this. So all this might be still still connecting with you, right? If you're listening to this and you're one of the ones that messaged me and all these variables like yeah this is me this is me i feel the same way i love it truly glad glad we're on the same page at this point but all these individuals that have messaged me had different versions of almost the same story. The most recent one that pops into my head is someone that says, hey, I'm interested. I feel called and compelled to be a coach. However, there's people in my life that think I don't have my shit together. They literally just don't think I have anything together. Do you have any tips or tricks to help me propel or launch my coaching business? Okay, well, let me unpackage that one for just a moment. If people that are close to you in your life are saying you don't have your shit together, some of the closest people into your life, before I go down any path, if I am you, I take an honest to God inventory of what I am and what I am doing. Not a manufactured thing. Not, oh, I go to the gym so I know about fitness. Not, oh, I go to church on Sunday so I'm spiritual. Not, I'm an incredible husband because I say I am. Right? Like, let's take stock of who you really are in this moment. Quit bullshitting yourself. If the people closest to you think that you are screwed up, that you don't have your stuff together, that might be a sign that you don't have your stuff all together. But let's say, hypothetically, that the people around you are crazy. That they don't see life the way that you see it, and you do have all those variables in line. I commend you for it. There's many days I don't know if I have all those variables in line. I commend you for it. There's many days, I don't know if I have all those in line. The things that it takes, in my opinion, to be a coach are that you have been coached yourself and are in the process of being coached. I personally don't care if you have a psychology degree. I don't care if you're International Coaching Federation certified or any number of the other certification classifications that are available right now. I don't care about those things. You see, I know that all of us have a message inside. We've all been through things, and from our place of experience of what we've been through, it helps us guide others through comparable situations. If you've been divorced, you have a story to tell on how you got through that. Share it. Help others go through the same.
Personal And Professional Development
Have a story to tell (07:11)
You've earned that right from your experience. I don't personally care if you've been certified to go through that or not. What I do care is, as you're sitting across from somebody looking to charge them money for your time, are you also investing that same dollar amount or a higher dollar amount in your own time? What I mean by that is I've shared very openly, right? Tony's events to Gary J. White's Wake Up Warrior to Warrior Week to all the stuff there to Dr. Shefali's stuff to going down the Human Potential Institute and Bulletproof Training, diving into an International Coaching Federation certification, not to mention I can rattle off 10 or 15 different psychology books, 10 or 15 different coaching books, 10 or 15 different sales books, 10 or 15 different marketing books, 10 or 15 different exercise physiology books, 10 or 15 different biohacking books. Are you getting the picture? You want to know how this is done? It's because I put in the fucking reps every day. And if you're considering coaching, if you're considering diving into this and not taking the time and energy required to show up and have the answers for your clients, you're doing yourself and them a disservice. show up and have the answers for your clients, you're doing yourself and them a disservice. Not only is this industry mentally taxing, right? To be, in my opinion, to do this efficiently and effectively, you have to go all in. There's no cell phone in your hand. There's no notes you're jotting down about something else.
Invest in yourself (08:40)
There's no, oh, I'll get around to it. Right? Like for me personally, I've now recorded minimum 200 training videos. Minimum. So I invested the time, energy, and effort to create content by teleprompters, software, pieces, parts, pay people to edit them so that while I'm working with you, you've got a series of things to do every day to better who you are. Because I know the impact that I can make on a once a week phone call is only so massive. And so what I find is ironic that this individual, and not to attack him, but what can I do to make myself better? Be coached. Find yourself a coach, find the money, invest in yourself, and then you can start leading from the front. Because I put it like this.
You Can Start Leading (09:30)
Let's say I want to coach people on how to complete an Ironman.
The Price of Experience Has Increased (09:39)
All right, I just decide. I wake up one morning, say, man, I see a lot of people want to do Ironmans. I'm going to be an Ironman coach. But I've never swam before, not open distances. I don't know anything about bikes. I don't have any idea how to maximize the efficiency on a bike. I've ran before, but nothing competitive. And I don't know anything about diet, but damn it, I'm going to be a coach on triathlons. Ironmen, specifically. How crazy does that sound? It's nuts, right? It's almost laughable. And see, what happens then is this industry that I hold very near and dear, in my opinion, gets watered down. Now, keep in mind, I love competition because I don't think any of us compete. Most of my closest friends in the world, actually the two closest guys in my life right now, are coaches themselves. And really, I could probably say number three and four are also coaches. Cody Jefferson, he's got a program. We have a podcast coming out together. We refer clients back and forth. And Bryce Prescott. These two individuals are incredible. Find them, seek them out, look at them, find value, pay them for their services. I love it. I don't have a scarcity mindset. I am adverse to shitty coaches. And if you haven't put in the reps, I think you're not going to be good. But let me even move that aside for a second. Let's say you have invested in a training. Let's say you've been coached one-on-one. And I'm not talking about a $97 e-book. I'm not talking about a short-term like, oh, I bought this course online for $127. It taught me how to be a coach. I'm talking about doing the deep damn work on yourself. The stuff that's painful, the stuff that we avoid, the stuff that we run from. I'm talking about doing the deep damn work on yourself. The stuff that's painful, the stuff that we avoid, the stuff that we run from. I'm talking about that work. I'm talking once you do that work, then work on your business, then work on your body, right? This is my methodology. Then work on your spirituality, right? To keep having coaches to accelerate your learning across all the areas that you deem important in your life is how it should go. Let's say you've done all that. I had another message from someone else that says, I'm a coach currently, and I'm struggling with becoming vulnerable enough to attract customers. I will tell you from my current position, sitting in this chair, speaking to you right now, in position, sitting in this chair, speaking to you right now, you haven't dealt with your own shit yet. You just haven't. I don't think you have to be boisterously vulnerable like I am. For me to say I used anabolic steroids for 10 years, for me to say I cheated on people, for me to say I've been bankrupt and had cars repossessed, I can say that now because it has no weight to me. It has no weight to me because I've went back to those times and I've worked through the pain and worked through the emotions and worked through the trauma and I'm here and I show up and I'm present. So I can share that out loud because I'm not afraid of judgment. Because as a coach, how can you train other people on not being afraid of judgment from healing their inner child if you haven't done the same? I don't know. I can't figure that out myself. I don't know how to share that. So if you're asking how to market and get clients, I would push back into you and also ask you, have you done the work on yourself and are you still doing the work on yourself? See, I feel like there's two or three different buckets that coaches can quote unquote fit into.
Upcoming Clients and Large Businesses In Peril (13:23)
You have people that think this is a fun industry. They get served an ad online for $127 training certification. They buy it and they start saying like, I'm a coach now. Cool. Get the reps. I'm not mad at that at all. Share very openly the training that you've had. Share very openly the money that you spend had. Share very openly the money that you spend. And attract the clients that you feel comfortable attracting. Love it. There's clients that have went down.
Three Types Of Coaches (13:52)
There's coaches that have went down a deeper path. They've invested in some one-on-one time with somebody else. Maybe they've went to an immersive experience. Maybe they've even done some plant-based medicine work to really uncouple some of the things that have been holding them back. But they have done all these things, right? That's past tense. But they fit in another bucket. As long as they share those things, and as long as you can say it openly, and as long as you're not embarrassed by what you've done, and you feel like you're adding value, you're fine. Then there's a third bucket of clients, coaches rather, that have done the first, have done the second and are still doing the second. Now they're still investing in furthering their education. They're still invested in becoming better versions of themselves. They still realize the fact that who they were yesterday won't serve them tomorrow. They're going to have to add more power and passion and production in their life or they're not going anywhere. Those coaches are somebody different. Those are the coaches, in my opinion, that we should all strive to be. If you have a scarcity mindset, one of the individuals that messaged me said, Hey, look, I don't have any money. I'm pretty much broke. But I've got a couple of clients that are not paying me. I've been broke before. I get it. I've made plenty of bad decisions. I can understand that too. But if you're coming from a place of scarcity and you're trying to coach clients on how to make money, how to better their lives, how to get all the variables dialed in, doesn't that sound like a misalignment? You don't have to have $100,000 in the bank. You don't have to have $10,000 in the bank. I don't even think you have to have $5,000 in the bank. to have 10 grand in the bank. I don't even think you have to have five grand in the bank, right? I'm saying if you are operating from this like, oh shit, I have to make money today or I'm in trouble. If that's your mindset and that's how you're approaching clients, how are you teaching them to do something different? How are you unwinding the things in their head? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know that answer. I've had individuals in this past week reach out and say, like, I'm called to do this. I know I am. The voice keeps speaking to me. I hear it. All these people keep calling me and asking me for advice and for help. Awesome. That's a good sign. Right? That's showing that people value your opinion and who you are. But I'll lean into you and say, did you value yourself? Maybe you've went through coaching. Maybe you haven't. Maybe you're currently working on yourself. Maybe you're not. Maybe you're still somewhat lying to yourself about who you are. I don't know. Don't care. I know there's still a misalignment somewhere inside of you with the fact of not realizing your worth. Because it feels strange to say to somebody, every session with me is $400 for an hour.
The Training Is The Teacher Not An Education (16:58)
It feels strange to say to somebody, if you want to work with me for a 14-week cycle. It's 15 grand It feels strange to say hey come to my event. It's gonna be $10,000 for four days Until it doesn't Right because from my position and the things that I've been through and the money that I've spent You could certainly go out yourself and spend $200,000 to $300,000. You could go spend that yourself and learn everything that I've learned. You're going to hear it differently, right, because your cognitive bias is different.
What Do Your Life Experiences Cost? Is How Much For Your Time? (17:33)
You can buy the books. You can read them too. And you can have the secret sauce that I have. Now, you can't have my life experiences, but you're going to have your own, which have just as much value, if not more. What I realized is because I put in the reps and I see the success stories on the backside, I know my time and I know what it's worth. I don't have to run from that. So what I encourage that potential coach to do is just start charging people a hundred bucks an hour for your time and see if they're willing to pay. I've shared this very openly on other podcasts.
No one values free advice (18:08)
No one values or likes free shit. Free advice is worth less than what you paid for it, almost always. And we as coaches get mad or frustrated when people don't value our free advice, right? How dare they? I've been coaching this person, and their relationship's still not solid. They still haven't put together the pieces. I feel like I got burnt because not only did I not make money, but it cost me money. Look at that mindset, my friend. Look at what you're thinking. Look at what you're saying out loud. And this is not only pertained to, I'll call it life optimization coaching, as I have deemed mine. We can call this business coaching. We can call this fitness coaching, training, right? If you're not a student of your craft on a consistent basis, what in the fuck are you doing? It makes no sense to me because what happens is people that are hungry, people that really care, people that are doing it for the right reasons, the reasons that are in their heart, in their soul are going to pass you by leaps and bounds. If you're doing it for a paycheck, I would encourage you to work with the coach and figure out your purpose. Figure out your purpose statement and run things through an alignment check to see if it aligns with your purpose. There's a good chance you could be a phenomenal coach, but it doesn't align with your purpose. That's why you feel stuck. That's why you're not pouring into your own efficiency. That's why you're not studying and mastering your craft at a higher level than you've gotten to this thus far. It's okay. It's okay to own that. We're also afraid of failure. Shit, I have failed more times than I've succeeded. And I share it. Like this whole thing is crazy. The energy that has been coming to me of like, I'm inspired. I want to be a coach. I love it. Honest to God, I love it. I've had four clients. Four clients from either current training sessions or past training sessions that have reached out to me and said, after going through this, after doing the work on myself, I just can't help but feel compelled to share this with other people. I believe I want to be a coach. Okay. I love it. I love it. Right. That makes perfect sense to me. You're on an emotional high. Your dopamine is dropping. Your life is unrecognizable after 12, 14, and 16 weeks, and you want other people to feel the same way. So what do I do? I said, look, there's different training certifications you can go through. You should go to some of these events that I've went to. Here's a list of 2, 3, 4, 8, 10, 12 books to read. Here, if you want to come inside the life optimization group, if you want to be a life optimization coach, I will teach you everything that I know. You can use my tests, my software, my platforms. I will help mentor you, monitor, proctor your phone calls. I will pour into you the same way people have poured into me. I'll help you. But I can help those people because they've been through coaching themselves. Right. It's just the next evolution who they are. Fortunately for me, one of the incredible clients I have instantly said, yes, I'm in and started going for some certification immediately. Actually two of them, two incredible clients instantly jumped into the human upgrade Institute training like right away. I'm like, all right, that's a big commitment. Plus dropping some books, plus doing some biohacking stuff. Like these are people I'm like, all right, not only did our training work, not only is your life phenomenal, but you're also investing in yourself, you're going to be a great coach. I know it because I'm a great coach. I can feel it. The other ones are just in different financial positions, which is also okay. Right there, they're coming in-house a little bit more.
Coach to coach protocol (22:09)
I can train on what I do. I can work through the books on a study session. We can hop on a once-a-week Zoom call and work through things. We can watch recorded videos and talk about what were successes and failures. through things. We can watch recorded videos and talk about what were successes and failures. So maybe all you need at this point as a potential coach in this industry is to find a mentor or a map. Mentorship, accountability, and a plan. It's okay to feel called and compelled to lead other people. I think it's okay to feel called and compelled to lead other people. I think it's beautiful. The sinful part is thinking that you can do it alone and that you're supposed to do it alone. Do not get me wrong. There are people that are incredible coaches that woke up one morning, stretched in bed, put their hands over their head, put their feet on the ground, scratched their chest and said, I think I'm going to be a coach today. And I bet those people became phenomenal coaches. But I think it's few and far between. between. I believe in my soul that people that are the best coaches, the people that are the most efficient and effective are the people that are currently coached right now and actually coached. Not part of a mastermind group that meets once a quarter, talk about business and marketing. Not someone that bought, I love it, right? Gary J. White's black book went through a King's kit challenge. I love it. Truly. I love it. It's massively impactful. But think about that. Think of, we'll go back to the Ironman conversation. I read one book on how the most successful Ironman became an Ironman. I worked in a small group setting for 14 to 21 days. And now I'm going to coach people. It's crazy, right?
Find your clarity and peace first (24:17)
At least it is to me. So for all of you that have asked my opinion on how to become a coach, if you should be a coach or not, on advice or help in marketing, all this stuff goes back into the coaching protocol that I teach people. You have to find clarity and peace in yourself first. Then marketing becomes very easy. Just share the truth. Share your fucking truth. Be a good human being and share. The people that like what you have to say are going to ask you for more. The people that don't like what you have to say are going to leave. You don't need them anyways. You need people that trust and value based off of the things you've been through and your ability to own them and share them. That's all this is. There's no fancy marketing scheme that's going to get somebody to buy your service or product. I can guarantee that. I can create the most hype reel, incredible, best music, best graphics, best story. I know how to create that. I have a team to help me. I have one of the best teams in my opinion, one of the best teams in the country right here in this office. I don't need that because it's inauthentic. I don't want to have a hard closed conversation on the phone trying to convince you to work with me.
Achieving Sustainable Success
Creating long-term success (25:42)
If you've reached out and are interested, we have an honest conversation about where you are at, the facts of your life, where you want to arrive to, the facts of what is possible for you, even if you can't see it. We talk about the distance in between those two and what that feels like. We talk about the cost of remaining the same. We talk about why it is that you chose me over anybody. Then we talk about what you're willing to invest in yourself to get from where you're at to where you want to arrive to and how committed you are to your own success. That's it. At the end of the conversation, it's real simple. I'm either in or I'm out. That's it. At the end of the conversation, it's real simple. I'm either in or I'm out. That's it. There's no additional follow-up. There's no begging. There's no pontificating that I need you as a client. There should never be. So I know this has been a little longer than most podcasts. I know it's been a little more impactful. I know it's been a little more aggressive than something has been for a while, but this is something I hold so near and dear to my heart and put so much value in what I bring to the table every day that I can't imagine someone trying to tiptoe into this industry, trying to just quote unquote, get by. It's not going to work. You're doing yourself and your clients a disservice. If you want a list of the top 50 books I would have you read, if you want a list of the trainings, the seminars, the things I've went to in their expense, if you want a list of the ongoing education things I'm doing now, I will gladly provide it to you and ask you to go down a comparable path. It doesn't have to be my path. But I would ask you to go down that path before you allow yourself to have other people's lives entrusted in you. With that, I will just wrap it up with go out there today and get shit done.