Episode 337 - Mirror | When Other People Reveal Your True Reflection | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 337 - Mirror | When Other People Reveal Your True Reflection".


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Program Introduction

Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes of Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Nadel, and today's episode is Mirror. Today's episode is Mirror. Today I want to share with you an impactful message that a client of mine and I came to during our session today. And also then maybe share with you how to apply it to your life. So I'm in this incredibly fortunate position. I get to speak with men and women from literally all over the globe. I have some seven-figure producers that I work with hand-in-hand in this season of life. And then I also have some individuals that are in between jobs trying to get clarity. My coaching practice and what I believe in holistically has no bounds. You don't have to have a certain dollar amount associated with your name in order to figure out a way to work with me. That's not necessarily from a financial standpoint, but that's from the understanding that every person, in my opinion, deserves to live the absolute best life they deem possible from their current level of reality.

Conversation Strategies And Conflict Resolution

Mirror (01:13)

And today was one of those days where I have consolidated my coaching clients down primarily to three days a week. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. I have one or two clients on Monday in the afternoon, leaving Friday open for some creative space. I've really worked to practice what I preach. And I say worked, not tried, because I'm done trying. Like I'm actually holding Friday as my day for my creative musings. I don't want to really expand my capacity. And it's not that I'm not going to be working on Friday. It's that that's my creative space. And it's not that I'm not going to be working on Friday. It's that that's my creative space. And so today as I record this, it is 5.50 p.m. on Tuesday, March 12th. Today is a day where I had four coaching clients back-to-back and just received some incredible gifts. And one of the biggest gifts I received came from one of my highest level producers. In the call I had with this individual, we've been uncoupling slowly the stories that he has in his head. I mean, think about this right now. Think of all the stories that you have for yourself. Those stories could be anything from, I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I need validation from an external source to take action. Right, the list goes on and on and on about what these stories are that you could be telling yourself. We all have them. Some of us have just chosen to reposition them to find power on the back side and create new possibilities. And that's what I'm working with him strategically on right now. So here we are from the outside world and this individual produces at a massive level, seems incredibly self-confident, has a wife and kids and things. He lives a life that from the outside feels to be filled with abundance. And yet in his mind, there's a level of scarcity. there's a level of scarcity he is currently working through in this little moment in time the need to seek permission you see his internal guidance system is telling him to do certain things all of which in my opinion are things that he should be doing you see see, my coaching as a whole, I don't necessarily believe that I have this all figured out, specifically not for your life. What I do sit down and help you process is how to tap into that divine power inside of you and take action in accordance to it. And that was today's conversation. Because he's involved in different businesses and has different partnerships and has different things that are spinning all around him. And he's got this adverse nature to conflict. But when we peel back the layers of what actual conflict is in his life, there's not very much of it. And there's not very much of it from the standpoint of he's shying away from it. There's not very much because the majority of the people in his life are open and receptive to him sharing his best self. You see, he's not an individual that's going out and attacking people. Inherently, I believe, of course, there's multiple types of individuals. Some that go out and are searching for a fight all the time. Some that run from any sort of conflict. And some that know how to tap into it when the time is right. He is certainly not the first. He's somewhere towards the second and the third, which is a beautiful place. That's somewhere where I would say that I reside. I don't inherently love conversations that have a bunch of conflict surrounding them. I know when it's time to tap into that. In psychology, I would refer to that as shadow integration. How do I pull in that dark side and use it for the light? How do I have that propel me forward? And so as we go through this, he's been struggling with this under his admission for the majority of his life. That's the story as I asked him to present the facts like the feelings that he has are that man. I've just been dealing with forever But as we get in the facts of the situation He has been an inherent leader his entire life The moments in time where he stood up and spoke his truth were the moments in time where people fell in line and followed him in the direction he was running. Now, that's not to call him a liar. That's not to say that his perception of his own reality is untrue.

Walking through difficult conversations (06:16)

It certainly isn't. That's to say that he should be open to a possibility of something different than the perception that he's exhibiting. All I want him to do, and all I would encourage you to do, is simply to be open to what could be versus what you feel has to be. And as we walk through these conversations and I ask a series of questions that are all fairly open-ended questions, this is open dialogue. This isn't, I don't have his answer. We're finding his answer together. But we get to this point. And I say, would you be open to the thought process that the people in your life that you feel you need permission from, the ones that you're afraid to quote-unquote stand up to what if they were just mirrors of an alternate version of yourself where I truly believe in any season of life we are all one in the same so in the moment where he feels inferior for whatever his reasons would be to another individual there are individuals looking to him that feel inferior in his light there are always things going on on both sides of this equation and as it pertains to the individuals that have that puffy chested boisterous I have all this figured out you probably know know some of yourself right now. As it pertains to that, I encourage him to consider, just to be open, that there's a chance that these individuals have some repressed trauma, some repressed emotions, some things they haven't worked through completely, that they are standing up and being so boisterous and so puffy chested because they are afraid to have to deal with what they know they need to deal with. And so this simply becomes a defense mechanism.

Considering others (08:13)

They are simply standing up, creating this shell because they don't want to be hurt. because they don't want to be hurt. There's also a decent chance that these individuals, in his particular situation, have not yet had to overcome anything major in their life. They're second, third, fourth generation business owners. They're people that might not have went through the same struggles that he has went through as a self-made man. And so their stories are different. And there's an intimidation factor. And what I encourage him to do in those moments in which he felt most insecure or that he was seeking the most permission is to welcome that feeling for a moment. Don't fight it. There's really no reason. Imagine it being a little five-year-old version of yourself or his self on his shoulder. That five-year-old is just there to protect him. There's something that went on that has created that mechanism that is needed in his psyche for something. We haven't figured that out yet. Simply welcome that little boy version of him and then let him go. Don't try to fight it.

Dont fight it. (09:51)

And then pivot his sense of awareness to the fact that whatever this man is projecting onto him, he should just feel and understand where that man comes from. You see, it's my belief that unless we are inherently doing things to stir the pot, if we're trying to mess with people all the time, unless we are acting that way and operating that way, I can assume that we are all inherently good. Well, from this standpoint of being inherently good, then when people attack us, when people make us feel less than, when people make us feel inferior, it doesn't have anything to do with us.

Unless we are inherently doing things to stir the pot. (10:18)

When people get angry at us, unless there's a true, honest-to-God reason, it has nothing to do with us. It has to do with them. That's a tough place of reality to get to because our feelings and our emotions present themselves in those moments, and it's painful. It's painful to have a man stand across from you acting as though he's superior, talking down to you, making you feel less than. But do you deserve that? I can't help but adopt the, at least mindset for me personally, that has given me a certain amount of peace and sincerity inside of me. That we are all one in the same.

Interconnectedness Of Humanity

Were all one in the same. (11:19)

are all one in the same, right? I don't care if you believe in God or any religious doctrine or dogma. Something brought us all here. So we're like a direct connection. We have a direct lineage to that thing, that person, that entity, that being. So from that, we'd have to all be connected. So we all came from the same place. So then we all become mirrors for one another. And then ultimately, we all become mirrors for ourselves. And so the next time you're looking to project outwardly the things that you are feeling about another individual, I encourage you to pause for just a moment and ask yourself, where in my life do I feel this way about me? As you are quick to open your mouth and talk poorly about another individual that is not there to defend themselves, ask yourself, have I ever done the same thing? The answer almost 100% of the time will be yes. And so we project that outwardly to eradicate our shame and guilt because all of a sudden if someone else is doing it, then we don't have to feel as badly for what we have done ourselves. Welcome that for a moment. Realize it does not make you less than. Realize it makes you exactly who you are, which is who I am, which is who we are. So don't fight it. And what has shifted the perspective of my client, clients, and myself is when we realize that that mirror can be reshaped and remolded to allow us to go from the observer to the orchestrator of our life. And from that standpoint and that seat of orchestration, you can find out that every day after, you're able to get shit done.

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