Episode 34: Fuck Your Feelings - 15 Minutes to Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 34: Fuck Your Feelings - 15 Minutes to Freedom Podcast".

1970-01-01T01:13:54.000Z

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Introduction

Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes of Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's topic is fuck your feelings. So yesterday, I had to get up incredibly early. Myself, and then I actually convinced two of the guys from the company to get up early with me and not normally early. Like I'm a, I'm a four 30 in the morning, four 45 wake up guy have been for now six or eight months, maybe a little bit longer. And that's very easy to me. You know, my day's tailored around that. I find great success in getting up at that time. It just works when I have to ratchet that back because I still need to get the same stuff done for myself every morning, but I have to leave my house three hours earlier, well, it goes to show I probably have to get up a little bit earlier than 4.30 if I have to leave my house at 5. So my day started at 2.45, 3 o'clock yesterday morning. So already, I put myself a little bit in this negative mindset like, fuck, I don't want to be up this early. This is pretty miserable. Get up and try to be quiet around the house and get all my normal stuff done in the morning. Don't disturb the family because it's incredibly early for them. Eight-year-old daughter and fiance sleeping still and two dogs running around the house. We're trying to keep quiet and just really tiptoeing around. So I actually walk out of my door at 4.50 and go sit in my car because one of the guys that works with me is coming to meet me at my house. Because we're going to leave from my house and drive up to Cleveland. It works with me. It's coming to meet me at my house because we're going to leave from my house and drive up to Cleveland. Actually, I'm helping run the digital marketing and advertising for a nonprofit that specializes in opioid addiction and how to fix that from the base level up. Base level being stopping big pharma from deploying as many pain pills and opioid-based pills as they do and start at that level and then build up from there. Because I didn't know until yesterday, four out of every five heroin-based deaths started out with a prescription for some sort of opioid-based painkiller. So the cause is phenomenal. But there was a rally up in Cleveland that started at 8 o'clock yesterday. I'm living in Columbus. It's about a two and a half hour drive and we want to give ourselves time for some variation and be there early. So I'm in my car at 4.45, 4.50, waiting for one of the guys to come into my house. And he shows up and it's 5.05, maybe 5.10. It doesn't really matter. But he shows up and I'm sitting in the car and I'm trying to meditate a little bit.


Understanding Emotions And Perseverance

Non-profit, digital marketing, and adverse (02:15)

I'm just like, fuck, I'm just not happy. I'm not mad that I have to do this. I'm empowered because I get to go experience something new and I get to go help the world make a better place. That's truly a phenomenal feeling for me. That's what this podcast is about. It's hoping that you guys get some sort of benefit out of the dumb shit I've done in my life so you don't have to make the same mistakes I did. And through that, the message that you give me mean more than any money that I've made so far in my life. This is truly a passion for me. And so I'm having to remind myself that as I'm driving the car, it's pitch black out. It's so early, there's no cars on the road yet. So take this winding back road along a river and eventually go to meet up with another one of our guys that's waiting near an interstate and we pick him up and put him in the car.


Audiobooks, Voice, and Asleep (02:50)

Well, I guess he really puts himself in the car. I don't physically pick him up and put him in the car, but you know what I'm saying. He ends up being in the car. And so on the way up, because I didn't get to read as much as I typically would, I put an audiobook on. It's a book about integral meditation. And so I'm driving and for some reason lately my hands have been going numb. So I'm already uncomfortable. Whether it's an impingement in my back or something's going on nervous system-wise, my hands are just consistently going numb. Almost like when I'm trying to hold a pen, I have to put it down after two or three minutes because I feel like my fingers are just sausages. Like I can't feel the pen anymore. So I'm driving, I'm consistently switching positions. I'm trying to listen to this audio book and I look in the back seat and one of these motherfuckers is sleeping. So we all sucked it up when we got up early in the morning. And this guy, mouth open, head back, just does not give a shit that the two of us are having to have a conversation and listen to this book. And he admittedly came clean later that the guy's voice and the way the book is narrated put him to sleep. And I don't blame him. Like, to hop into an audiobook halfway into an audiobook and try to understand what's going on, let alone then listen to some pretty boring cadence, would be tough. Not to mention the fact he got up really early in the morning. So we drive up to Cleveland, and we're up there. We get there, we find some parking, we walk, we go to this event. And the event's a little lackluster versus what I was expecting. I was expecting this massive couple thousand person rally where there's going to be a settlement that was reached that day from Big Pharma versus 600 different plaintiffs going after funds. Now we're trying to raise billions of dollars for this, not millions of dollars. So it's a billions, not millions campaign. Now show up and there's 25 or 30 people. If any of you have been to Cleveland ever in your life or recently, it's not the most scenic looking city. And being on the water, even though the temperature was 65 out, the wind was 15 or 20 miles an hour and it was cold. Wearing t-shirts and jeans, trying to participate. It's just not enjoyable.


If im not happy whiny pghs. (04:46)

It's pretty fucking miserable. But I'm trying to consistently remind myself, I'm here for a good cause. I'm here for a good cause. There's something better coming into this. And so we go through and videographer interviews as many people as he can. They eventually invite us into the courtroom. We're able to go start the proceedings. We can be part of the starting of the proceedings. I didn't realize up until this point that there's not really proceedings going on. This is just like a pre-trial conference. This is just a mandatory check-in to make sure that both sides are working towards some sort of agreement prior to trial. And trial is not slated until March 19th of next year. So it's a long way away. So we go and I'm sitting there and it's just, it's boring. Like there's these people and I'm frustrated by all the bureaucracy and all the red tape and all the shit that they're talking about. It's so antiquated with the way our judicial system works from where I sit. Now granted, if you're a lawyer listening to this, you might think something differently. And I'm coming from a very uneducated space other than sitting and watching this court case where, I mean, I'm a, I can't call it victim, but I'm somebody that's been affected by having a friend die from opioid addiction and, you know, overdose on heroin. And there's 600 people that are bringing this lawsuit against the big pharma companies are pittance of the total number that could. And so I'm thinking this should be a pretty freaking open and shut case. Like it's a clear delineation between pain pills and eventually heroin, but it doesn't work that way. Needless to say, I ended up having to catch up on a bunch of phone calls because I didn't have any phone calls on the way up there. And my phone's been ringing off the hook, but we've been outside and I don't want to be rude and it's windy. And I'm just fucking pissed. Like my day is not good. And so wrap up and the two guys that go up there with me come inside and grab me and say, look, like everything's done. I didn't even get to say goodbye to the guy that put on the event, a guy named Greg. He's there, but he's left. So I said, well, at least we can find some benefit. No, it's 10.35 now or so. We can go get some food. And so I've never had Wahlburgers before. So we walk over to Wahlburgers, but it doesn't open until 11. So we're pacing around outside taking pictures of this quote-unquote scenic downtown Cleveland only to eventually go sit at Wahlburgers. Sit at Wahlburgers, meal's good. The same jackass that was sleeping in the back of the car tried to order a salad when we sat down at Wahlburgers. So imagine this. You're at a world-famous hamburger restaurant. It's literally world-famous. I mean, they're known for one thing. They're known for hamburgers. We're not at the world-famous salad restaurant. We're at a hamburger restaurant. This guy sits down and orders a salad. So much so that the waiter looks at him and says, like, are you sure? And then I have to, of course, guilt him into it a little bit. He ends up ordering a hamburger, and he was the first one to finish it. I mean, he devoured it. So needless to say, I think it was a good decision for him. So that was something that lightened the mood for just a moment. But the whole time, I'm tired because I've had this, unfortunately, this nerve issue that's made it so I'm not sleeping well. I'm probably getting an hour and a half, two hours of restful sleep a night. Been up super early. The event wasn't what I wanted it to be. And so we start to drive home. Now on the drive home, I'm dozing off time to time. Like it's just, I'm an autopilot. It's one straight road. The cruise control is set. Like I find myself drifting asleep. I'm like, man, this is not good. This is not a good look for me. I can't crash my car and not only take me out of the company, but take two other guys. The company would be in a massive place of panic and hurt with that. So we get back home. It's another two hours home, maybe two and a half hours, and get to the point of actually parking. And the first guy hops out of the car, and the second guy is still with me driving back to my house. We drive back to my house. He's talking about, I know just the growth of the event and some different things we can do as a company and it's great conversation. And everything's good. I get home and I'm exhausted. Like all I want to do is go to sleep, but I still have work, daily actionable items I have to get done for myself. Like when I commit to something, I've realized now if I can't honor my own commitment to myself, how can I expect anybody else on the planet to honor a commitment to me? I can't. So I have to sit down, kitchen table, don't even go to my office, and start doing work. And then I'm doing this work and Lindsay comes in and, you know, how was your day? And she wants to talk and I'm not fucking ready to talk. Like I just need to be left alone so I can get my work done. But she doesn't realize that because she's been doing her own work. She's been living her own life all day and all she wants to hear is how my day goes. She eventually goes and leaves to pick up Gianna from school and I'm still doing work. And then they go, they come home. They have horse riding lessons at night. I know, right? I'm like the typical guy that has, I'll just call it what it is, an attractive fiance with a kid that rides horses. Like that's like the atypical, stereotypical, what you'd imagine to be, I think, a type personality entrepreneur. I kind of fit into all those categories now, laughingly. So they get done from horse riding. They come home. It's 830. At this point, I don't know. I somehow fall asleep either at the dining room table or on the couch. But I wake up to them coming home. And they finally start to ask me about my day. couch, but I wake up to them coming home. And they finally start to ask me about my day. I start to tell them little bits and pieces because I'm wound down enough for the day to explain it to them. And in explaining to them, they instantly start talking about their day. They listen for a moment, but they don't really want to hear what I have to say. They're using what I have to say as a lead-in to what they're doing, how their day was. And I love that. I love hearing all about that. My day gets brighter from hearing how Gianna had a great day at school and told some boy she thought he was cute, and then that turns into a horse riding lesson that she did very well at. That gives me energy. That gives me excitement. I'm never mad that she shares it with me. I'd be mad the day that comes that she doesn't want to share it with me. But all this stuff goes on. And I realize, as I don't even get to the point of really telling how my day went, that my feelings ultimately don't fucking matter. They just don't. If my family doesn't really care how I feel, and don't get me wrong, I know at some level they do care. But when it comes right down to it, they don't give a fuck about how my day really went. We all ask each other that because we know we're supposed to, because we have to have some sort of empathy for our fellow man. I understand that. I'm not the most empathetic person in the world. I work on that daily. But if my family doesn't give a fuck about my feelings for the day, how can I expect any other person on the planet to care even a little bit? People don't care what you can do for them. People care how you make them feel. But in caring how you make them feel, they don't care how you feel in the same moment. Your feelings become irrelevant, especially when you look at work. I look at the work environment as somewhere where feelings become completely out the window. Just throw them the fuck away. If you can't think logically, void of emotion and business, you're pretty fucked. Now I say that, I think you should grow and expand from a place of your heart.


My secret majority strategy. (11:05)

I think you should follow your heart. I think you should go with your feelings and your gut feelings on that side of things. When it comes to having conversations and strategy and planning, that's tactical. That's not emotional. Same thing with your body. The guys I train with don't really care that my legs hurt that day. They give a shit that I'm there to support them and spot them when they're squatting so that they don't hurt themselves. They don't care how I feel. We get to the relationship side of things. Lindsey and John, I care about who I am and how I am, but ultimately they care more about the fact of how their days were as they should, just as I do.


Feelings Shouldnt Matter (11:38)

I care more about how my day was in that moment than I care how their day was. You know, we keep telling ourselves all these bullshit stories our entire life, like you're not supposed to actually admit these things. I mean, there's not one of you guys listening to this podcast. If you are, and you get to this point in the podcast, and I'm telling something that you don't agree with, email me at ryan at gsdmediagroup.com. At the end of your busiest day, when you just want to scream at everybody, fuck you and leave me alone, that you care more at that moment about somebody else's day than you care about your own. I'll call complete bullshit. But in that, you have to realize that your feelings don't matter to anybody else other than you. So if you really want to grow and change your position in life, you have to find a way to connect to the feelings of those of others. You have to go deep with their feelings. You have to put your feelings aside, say fuck them for a minute, and go deep in your feelings with people that are around you. Because those feelings with people that are around you, they matter. Diving into their feelings and helping them deal with their problems and issues, that changes the way that they then feel. They'll remember feeling differently about the way that you made them feel. I know it's a lot of feelings in one sentence. But I'll slow it down. I'll say it one more time. If you think about it and your best friend had a bad day, it doesn't matter how fucked up of a day you had. You could have had an equally bad day, but you know that their day was in their mind worse. So you put your feelings aside and you sit down and you talk to them, and you connect with them, and you make them laugh, and make them feel valued and cared about, and you help them strategize a solution for whatever their issue was. They're going to remember the way that that interaction made them feel. And from that remembrance of that feeling will continue to grow your relationship. So all these feelings and emotions all get wrapped up in the fact that we spend so much time worrying about how other people are going to think about how we feel that it's fucking pointless. Say it and get rid of it.


Own and Address Your Feelings (13:31)

Address your feelings, own your feelings in the moment, and then don't let them have any power over you. Just like yesterday, I didn't care once I went to bed that I had a shitty day that didn't go the way I wanted it to go.


Emotional Self-Assessment

What Story Are You Telling Yourself? (13:37)

I certainly didn't care at all when I woke up this morning. I got more sleep last night than I've gotten in at least a week. I feel energized and happy coming to work today. I started out with a little bit of a busy day, but here I am. That doesn't define anything. I put it out in the universe like the day was bad. Oh, well, today's a great day. You have that ability every day to say literally, fuck you to your feelings and change them. Feelings are an emotional state that you have complete control over. You can't control the weather. You can't control the speed limits.


Emotional Well-Being Check

FUNE - Emotional State (14:11)

You can control how you feel about both of them. So guys, when you start controlling your feelings, you start putting actionable things in place to get you one step closer to your goal every day. Well, that ends up being as you're getting shit done. Hey guys, Ryan here. Thanks for joining me today. your goal every day? Well, that ends up being is you're getting shit done. you value, please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to RyanNidell.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L.com.


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