Episode 358: Nagging | Sometimes I Don’t Want To Do This | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 358: Nagging | Sometimes I Don’t Want To Do This".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes of Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Nadell, and today's episode is entitled Nagging. Today, I want to share with you what one of you and maybe many of you have thought and what I'm going to do about it. So it's very interesting having a podcast.

Podcast And Personal Experience

Podcasting (00:36)

Maybe you've thought about having one yourself or were curious about what all this looks like. We've tried to share pretty openly, or I've tried to share very openly, on the trials and tribulations that are podcasting. I certainly can't say that I have this all figured out, but over the past 345 or so days of consistent content, we've skinned our knees enough times to be able to add value. We have an idea of what works. Very openly, we started out with a very simple Rode USB microphone. A Rode USB mic literally plugs right into the side of your laptop, desktop, anything that has a USB port. It allows you to record very easily on the fly. We started out with an intro that was all fancy and specially designed that the team would have to slice and put on the front part of an episode, and then we had an exit read. Maybe you remember that if you're a long-time listener. Admittedly, it's been so many episodes since we've had one, I don't recall what it said. I know at some point on the backside I would ask you to share this and go to my website and leave me a comment. And all that felt pretty cliche after a certain point. I've shared openly, I'm still, for the most part, creating this content and this podcast for myself. Side note, when's the last time you've done something for yourself? Not once, not twice, but consistently. Like, with pretty much ruthless commitment. For most of us, including myself, short of podcasting, it's fairly difficult to remain in the driver's seat of your own life. I share all this with you because as the past 345 or 50 or whatever episode this happens to air on has passed by us, there's been a lot of changes. There's been a lot of changes in my personal life. There's been a lot of changes in my business life. There have been a lot of changes in my business life. There's been a lot of changes in my belief systems. So much so that if you were to go back and listen to what I believe to be the first hundred episodes, not only would the audio quality be different because I had a different microphone, but the content was different. It was a year ago. Almost. Certainly much more vulgarity. Certainly much more hard nose, in your face, getting rid of all the stuff that I had carried with me for so long. Now I almost flippantly brush over it with thoughts of infidelity and failed businesses and repossessions and steroid use, right? And so they're not a big deal any longer. Because from where I sit, they truly aren't a big deal any longer. I've discussed them so openly and so frequently with so many different people, they don't have any weight left for me. But after that first hundred episodes, I began to pivot, right? And as I pivoted and shared additional content, we jumped into book reviews and external interviews and bringing my wife on. And that had its season. My wife will still come in on Saturdays and she'll be launching her own podcast if she gets her shit together and starts recording them in a consistent manner. I'm saying that with love for her. I get it. It's not easy to hold that time and space and have the creative energy to do this every day. And then sometime along the journey, you know, the book reviews didn't feel right anymore. So I stopped sharing them. I didn't stop reading. I just stopped sharing a once a week book review because it felt cheesy. It didn't feel in alignment with who I was or who I am. Then I began to share some about the coaching business that I have. We'll call it mentorship, accountability. I don't love inherently the life coach moniker. I feel like it doesn't adequately discuss or describe what it is that I do. This actually came to me last week that a better term for what it is that I believe that I do for the world is I help people find, own, embody, and then scale their life by design. I don't know what's best for you. I know there's some rituals and some habits that if you instilled in your life every day and every week, and then over 90 day periods and over a year, that just by taking back some personal power and some ownership, your life would feel different. I've shared a lot of those openly and I'll have many more episodes about those. But as I look back at that little window of time, there were quite a few episodes in a row that had something to do with asking you to take some sort of action. Email me if you want to work with me. Email me if you want to come to an intensive four day. Email me if you're a woman and you want to come to an event. And I stopped after a while because it just felt wrong. stopped after a while because it just felt wrong. And it's like, if you're listening, I built a little bit of a following in the podcast world of, you know, eight, 10, 12,000 downloads a show. It fluctuates. It varies. It's actually decreased over time. Say the fact that iTunes doesn't allow me in the ranking still say the fact that maybe it's not getting shared as much as it used to. Maybe it's just the fact that if you're listening, you're bored with what I'm saying. All of them are fine. It's still for me. Which then slowly twists into this current season of life. In the most recent series of episodes that have aired, I did what I called Wayne Dyer Week, which I couldn't call a book review. I literally had 10 secrets for success and inner peace that was written by Dr. Wayne Dyer on my desk, and I was paraphrasing every individual lesson, every secret, every bit of success that he shares. Now, if you'd put together the pieces in reverse, you would have maybe picked up on the fact of how this divine orchestration of Wayne Dyer coming into my life has happened, and it just felt right to share these messages. Not remembering ever buying the power of intention, having it show up on a Saturday when it doesn't really seem to make sense to show up on a Saturday, reading that book and getting the clarity as we have to put our dog down and what all these things mean. Then I've just been infatuated with this work as I put in CDs of all things. For those of you that might be a little younger in the audience that we used to have to go to a store and buy these little silver discs that had little etchings on them. You'd put them in your car and they'd play music. Which is hilarious that I am now getting old enough that I have to explain what CDs are, let alone tapes and everything else we used to have. We used to have MP3 players, right? It wasn't like you didn't have music on your phone. Whole other conversation for a whole other day. A whole other conversation for a whole other day. But I share as I'm driving in Nashville to meet my good friend Mark at an event called ClickFunnels Live or Funnel Hackers Live. I happen to put on Tony Robbins' disc in the car I was driving.

My time away in Columbus (07:55)

And it's being an interview with him and Wayne Dyer. I have all the things. And so I feel compelled to share this book. So much so, and I find so much value in this specific book, The 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace by Dr. Wayne Dyer, that every person that came to my life optimization experience here in Columbus, they all got a copy of it.

The Sold-Secrets of Success in Inner Peace by Dr. Wayne Dyer (08:18)

Not all they got. That's not all they received, but it was a nice little takeaway. Because I feel like if you would just read that book multiple times and apply the lessons in there, it would give you a glimpse of potentially what is possible in your own life. I also use that very clearly because I was bogged down behind the eight ball, was using 95% of my creative energy to lead these 12 men at any given point. There were actually 14, two didn't make it to the event itself into Columbus. When I say lead them into Columbus, there was a 21 day lead up where I was shooting video content. We were actively involved in a community that was built just for everybody's growth. And it required a lot of creative energy for me, a lot of right brain thinking. And so when it came to podcasting, I didn't have something that was motivational, right? If you're someone that would like to work with me or had worked with me, or even if you just listen to the podcast, I share fairly often this concept of shadow integration. Being able to use the dark side of your personality, propel yourself forward, the dark side being some of that anger, some of the rage, some of the things that we all inherently have, but most of us don't have a healthy and creative outlet for. Inside the 21-day lead-up, I had to really dive into my own personal shadow integration. There's a lot of direct conversations that needed to be had with the men that were a part of the experience. So the Dr. Wayne Dyer, 10 secrets for success and inner peace book was a cop out for me. I didn't have content, but yet I made a commitment to share something new every day for four years. I find value in the book, but I didn't necessarily, I didn't have the creative energy, right?

Outro (10:07)

I wasn't fired up for this. And so much of this show is that authentic vulnerability. And so much of this show is that authentic vulnerability. I can't say that I have everything figured out in life because if I said that even as early as 100 days ago, my perspectives on what is possible, what my divine purpose is, the books that I read, the content that I consume, and the way that I show up as a coach, the way I show up as a co-worker, as a father, as a husband is different. It's not perfect. It's just different. You see, as I've shared this concept of being in the process of progress, that doesn't have a stop point, right? I can't see the day that I have quote unquote, all of this figured out. And this is the only way to live life. And I'm done reading and I'm done exploring and I'm done being curious. and this is what it's going to be. And so by the nature of that, I'm consistently evolving and growing much as I would encourage you to do. There were episodes in the past where I encourage you to take a break from this show. That if you listened for 90 or 120 days and you hadn't went out and tried to apply anything, it was probably time to take a hiatus from what I had to say and go explore what was possible for you. I say that because I believe in the creative energy. I know how powerful it is to be able to harness it. I see what happens in my own life when I'm able to be left to my own devices, clear time and space on my calendar, and get a little creative. Things seem to go in a much different direction for me, and in my opinion, that different direction has always been better. I'm sharing all this based off feedback that I have received so far from Dr. Wayne Dyer Week.

The three you cant not do (12:02)

I don't want to run from the fact that some days I don't have something to say, but I made a commitment so I'm going to follow through with it anyways. I don't run from the fact that I don't have this all figured out. I don't believe I run from the fact that I'm always growing and learning. I also don't run from the fact that some days are just absolute shit. are just absolute shit. Potentially you, as you're listening to this, are having one of those days right now, or if I ask you to close your eyes and go back into your mind and think of the last day that you had that things just didn't quite go the right way. Energy was off. You didn't get enough sleep. Your food was off. Meetings ran late. You missed phone calls. You didn't respond to emails. Whatever your stories are, which in my opinion, your stories would be the absolute truth. There's things where you felt out of alignment and the day was just off. The beautiful part is, in my opinion, when we have one of those days, we have the choice when we go to bed to leave it in that day and not allow it to carry forward. That's some of what I encourage and help people do. That's some of what I do, but it's still not perfect. And I can almost hear you at this point questioning, well, why is this episode called Nagging? Well, I believe what to be a longtime listener by the name of Nick left me a comment. Nick's been vocal with many different points about what he likes and dislikes about the show, which I welcome openly. I can't say it's going to change the trajectory of where I'm going in my podcasting career, but feedback is always welcome. I like new perspectives because it forces me to consider what's possible. So Nick shares with me very, very openly, and I'm going to receive this with love, not with angst. Because it's a choice. My perception of my reality is all that really matters. So whether Nick meant this as abrasive as could be or with love and open arms, I'm not going to know because I get to choose how I receive it. So I'm choosing the latter.

Nagging (14:42)

So Nick shares with me during Wayne Dyer Week, you are starting to sound a little bit like Laura Ingraham. She was a local radio station. I'm going to guess DJ. Actually, his exact words, our local radio station dropped her show a couple of years ago because she was stale. In exact words, our local radio station dropped her show a couple of years ago because she was stale. She whined about a quote-unquote nagging sore throat and was bored with herself. Don't be like her!

Truth and Reality (15:13)

Now this came on the backside of the episode of Wayne Dyer Week in which I share very openly like I don't want to do this. I didn't want to do it because I was, I believe I had shot four training lead up videos. I had no less than four coaching clients that day. The normal husband and father type things I do. Also the content creation, also holding time and space for the men in the lead up, which is an all-day thing for me. And I was just sharing the truth. Sometimes I don't want to do this. And potentially in your life, maybe you always want to do 100% of everything that you are doing. I am incredibly proud of you if that's your life. you are doing. I am incredibly proud of you if that's your life. I'm excited for you. I'm honored to have you listening if your life is operating like that because mine simply does not. Side note, today is Tuesday. I box Tuesday mornings. I got punched in the face a bunch on Saturday. My right hand kept dropping from my chin. It was leaving the right side of my face completely open for a left hook, and I caught two or three good shots. Swollen lower lip, whole deal. A little bit of scuff marks underneath my eye. Monday morning, I don't box. My trainer's off, but Tuesday we do. When I realized it was time to go to the gym, I didn't want to go box either. I didn't want to get punched in the face today. But, I quickly recalibrated and remembered if I don't want to get punched in the face, I'm going to have to go train with someone to teach me how to stop dropping my right hand and keep myself protected from the left hook. And so I went. I share all of this, these trials and tribulations, the different mindsets that I've had on the show from a standpoint of appreciation for the feedback that I receive from you, truly, the good feedback and the not so good feedback, everything's an area for opportunity for advancement, both positives and negatives. It all happens to be the way that we perceive what is said to us. You know, there's a momentary window where I read that that came across. I read that message. I read that review, however you want to say it. And the ego side of me gets defensive. How dare he? How dare Nick? He doesn't understand how hard this is. I'm like, nah, that's kind of BS. For all I know, Nick's a great podcaster. He's probably a phenomenal man and husband and father and lives a great life and everything is solid. So I have to think for a second, why does this bother me so much? I don't know that I physically know Nick. I don't know that I've ever interacted with him. Would certainly love to. But why does that review trigger me so badly? too. But why does that review trigger me so badly? Well, a little bit of insecurity on my side. I don't think there's anything wrong with owning the fact that I still have insecurity. I realize I'm good at podcasting. My voice is soothing. My message is clear because I've had a lot of reps at it. Doesn't mean I love hearing people say that I'm potentially whining and getting washed up when I'm just sharing what happens to be my truth in the moment. It's like those little moments where you get triggered or for me where get triggered, and it causes me to pause for just a second. Why does this bother me? It bothers me because there's some truth in it. I was whining. I mailed in a week's worth of episodes. Don't get me wrong. I love the book. It's still on my desk. I find tremendous value in the book. But I was tired. I got behind the eight ball. I was scrambling for content, and that was the easiest thing to come up with. I raised my hand really, really high. I know that's true, but I shared it to be true. So then I processed through that and I'm like, man, there's actually a lesson here. There's a gift in the situation, just like there's a gift in every situation of every day. If you look hard enough, the gift for me is the fact that someone cares enough to leave a message. The gift is that Nick has left me multiple message over the course of the show, pouring in what he finds to be valuable or not so valuable. The gift is the fact that I could, in theory, be having no one listen to the show ever and just be talking to the black hole that is the microphone in front of my mouth. But that's not the case. Like the perception of what we believe to be true is really what dictates our lives. But that perception is created from, in my opinion, a combination of our subconscious and our ego, which might even be one in the same. So when I own my truth and I stand up and say, yeah, you know, Nick, that bothers me, but you're right. I need to make sure I don't whine quite so much. I feel like it's just being like, I don't want to be be nagging I don't want to nag you as you're listening to Leave me a review I don't want to nag you to join my mailing list I don't want to nag you to follow me on social media I don't want to nag you to do anything Other than consume the content And share it It doesn't mean share it by social media It means share it With your mouth to someone that matters to you. There's a whole lot of triggering events that go on in your brain, but at the end of the day, if you teach something that you learn, it sticks to you a little bit more.

Share to listen and Forget (21:07)

And again, if you've worked with me in any capacity for whatever the reason you chose to, I have a saying that you've gotten very familiar with. You need to go out and teach this to somebody you know, because if you can't teach it, you don't know it. And if you don't know it, you can't live it. And if you're not going to live it, then what are you still doing here? I believe that to be a great message for life. So I understand if sometimes the message that I share get a little stale, sounds like I'm whining, sounds like I'm a little washed up, sounds like there's nothing new and exciting. Every day is an opportunity for me to step into the microphone, step into the booth, step into the room, whatever you want to call this place that I sit in, and just share open accounts of what has went on in my life and how it has impacted me. That's all this is ever supposed to have been. And it will take its twists and turns and its ebbs and flows, and I'll find what keeps working for me personally, just as I will encourage you to do in your own life. just as I will encourage you to do in your own life. I mean, think about as we look at those three components that we quite often wrap up these shows with. Where in your body are you trying to adhere to somebody else's goals for you, but they're not your own? And when you get that feedback from someone that's less than savory, it potentially knocks you off of center. You don't feel quite as calibrated any longer. Think of all the different places in your body that could be happening with the food you put in your mouth, with where you work out or how you work out, or maybe the fact that you don't currently have a fitness regimen. There's this misnomer that to work out means you have to go to the gym and spend hours of time and hundreds of dollars. There's some really easy ways to work out at home that you can get done in 25 minutes that don't cost you anything that are 100% better for you than doing nothing. And maybe if it's not there, maybe it's your relationship. Maybe if it's not there, maybe it's your relationship. Potentially your relationship is one of those things where you're listening to other people's opinions of what should be or what could be and not doing what you need to do for yourself. As I've shared very openly, there were a multitude of relationships that I was in in my 20s that someone else in my life would have said was an amazing relationship. It just wasn't amazing for me. But I stuck around anyways because of conflict avoidance and being afraid to do what was right for myself. Maybe that's your story. Or potentially yours is business. Right, where you're just, you're working the nine to five right now. Maybe you're listening to this on your way into the office. you're just convinced like I'm going to put in my 40 years and I'm going to retire with 40% of my income and whatever the 40, 40, 40 story is. Because that's what your parents say to do. They had a white collar job. They think that's impactful for you to have, but you love getting your hands dirty.

Relationship Scenarios

Do Any Of These Scenarios Work For You? (24:15)

You want to own your own mechanic shop. You love wrenching on cars. My question to you would be, why don't you do it? We're all racing to this one place. I clue you in on the secret. The one place is the grave. That's all we're doing. So I would heavily encourage you to start enjoying more moments of each day currently. Because from the place of enjoyment of more moments, you'll find out that every day you'll be able to get shit done..

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