Episode 43: My Wedding Day - 15 Minutes to Freedom Podcast | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "Episode 43: My Wedding Day - 15 Minutes to Freedom Podcast".
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This is 15 minutes to freedom. I'm your host Ryan Neidell and today's episode is my wedding day. A little bit different episode today. I'm gonna take you through the mindset and processes of my wedding day. I know whoa this is gonna be a fun one right plenty of messages gonna come out of the backside of this especially if you're not someone that's in a relationship currently what in the world can I gleam out of this I'm sure you're asking yourself I would encourage you to wait and find out so my wedding day was not this somewhere I'm sure to most people's wedding day. A wedding planned for late in the afternoon, a bride to be that has a nervous amount of tension but has to get her hair, makeup, nails, dress, all these things done. And I myself have little nothing to do. I have to make sure that I'm at a specific location, actually Gladstone's on Malibu Beach, by a specific time, 5 p.m., and the rest of the day is mine to do what I want with. Now, as the rest of the day is mine to do what I want with, I'm surrounded by men that are close friends of mine that consistently ask me if they can help me with something. Is there something I want them to do? My answer every time is no. I don't have anything I need you to do. My suit's already been pressed. It's picked up from the dry cleaner. My shoes are shined. My belt is there. My watch is ready. My cufflinks are polished. I do have to go get a tie though. I've realized the fact at the 22nd hour at about two o'clock that I don't love the tie that I'm supposed to be wearing. So I asked two of the men that I'm with to ride with me. Let's go pick out a new tie. Let's go find one. For those of you that have been to Venice Beach, California, it's not exactly the tie wearing type of town. So it takes a little bit of work. We find a suit supply store. Very nice woman helps us out. She's laughing because she's admittedly saying, how in the world are you so calm? You're getting married in two hours at this point and you're here right now versus getting ready. Like, well, I know it takes me 35 minutes to get ready. I know it takes 30 minutes to drive. I still have an hour and I'm not nervous at all. I'm not nervous at all because I know Lindsay, my bride-to-be, is exactly who I'm supposed to be with. I know she's my soulmate. It's never been a question. I don't have butterflies in my stomach or nerves in my head. Those things don't exist for me. So we're going back and forth and we're laughing and I end up finding this perfect shade of pink tie. And pink and Lindsay, now my wife, would call it something different. She would call it blush. Because the official color of our wedding was navy blue, white, and blush. But Lord knows to me, it just looks like a pink tie. And I find two pocket squares. I find these things. I grab them and we leave. We have enough time to go two blocks down to a sock store. And I'm able to find pink socks, or blush in this situation, that match my tie perfectly. Same thing in this store. I have them unpackage the socks, take all the tags off, keep the receipt. I'm not going to return these things. I know they're exactly what I need. They match my outfit perfectly. So here we are. I have my tie. I have my pockets where I have my socks. My suit's been pressed. My shirt's pressed. My belt and shoes are shined and ready. My cufflinks are ready. I'm set to go. The rest of the day was just like any other day. I woke up at 4.30 in the morning. I hit my core four. I meditated. I went to Gold's Gym in Venice Beach, the mecca of bodybuilding, what feels like my one and only place on this planet that pours energy into me the minute I walk through the door. It's the best place in the world for me personally. So I spend a little bit of extra time there, probably two hours there versus a normal hour, and I just soak it all in. Get done with that.
Personal Reflections And Insights
Embracing patience (04:01)
Go to Firehouse for Breakfast. Firehouse is a local place in Venice Beach that is known to be the spot you go to after you get done working out. Go to Firehouse for Breakfast. Firehouse is a local place in Venice Beach that is known to be the spot you go to after you get done working out at Gold's. And again, if you haven't been there, I heavily encourage you to. It's incredibly fresh, very healthy food. Not all that expensive. Kind of the bodybuilder's heaven, if you will. Eat there. Then go home. Hop in the shower. Get ready to go. It's a little anticlimactic, right? There's been this build-up for years building into this. Lindsay and I have been together for four years at this point. And here I am on the big day. I don't have any butterflies. I'm not drinking with my friends. I'm not nervous in any capacity. I'm just focused. I'm focused on this is the right thing to do at the right time. This is the next step of my life. So I get ready. I hop in the shower. It's good. Life is good. I'm relaxed. Kevin, the man that ends up reading whatever it's called that you end up reading to officially wed Lindy and I, is in the room as well. And he's perfecting his speech, or in his mind perfecting the speech. He's more nervous than I am in this moment. I say, you ready? Photographer's there, she's taking pictures, I'm laughing, carrying on. And then five of us hop in the Hyundai SUV we rented and drive up the coastline towards Gladstones of Malibu. And we arrive. And lo and behold, Lindsay had left about a half hour before I did, but she ends up being in the car in front of us with a photographer. I tell everybody, look, I don't want to see her. I'm not trying to see my bride. Let me get out of the car. You guys park it. I'm going to go head down to the beach. Head down to the beach and it's beautiful. It's very windy though and it's overcast at this moment. It's not bright and sunny. It's not enjoyable right now. Not in the fact that I'm getting married and it's not enjoyable, but just the fact that it's overcast and cloudy and windy. But slowly but surely, there's more and more people that are showing up that are friends. These incredible individuals that have traveled, most of them around the country, to come support Lindsay and I on our incredibly special day. And I'm overcome with a sense of gratitude and this emotion. And as I do that, I've decided and Lindsay's decided that there's going to be two chairs that are left empty in the front row. One for my mother's deceased husband who passed away about a month ago. Very suddenly of cancer. And one for my best friend Miles Dawson. And hanging that reserve sign on Miles Dawson's chair. And putting a rose down on that chair. And then the brothers from Warrior had given me one of the leather bands that you get when you graduate Warrior Week. They gave it to me in his honor, and I placed that on the chair. I'd sprayed it with his cologne before, because I could smell him. At that moment, I become emotional. I start crying. My best friend's not here. Now, don't get me wrong. I know he's here. I best friend's not here. Now, don't get me wrong. I know he's here. I know he's all around. I know he's in me. I know the gifts that he's given me. I'm living them every day. These gifts that Miles continues to instill upon me, I get to receive every minute of every day. He is literally with me right now as I'm recording this. So I'm eternally grateful for him. But at the moment of not having his face and his humor and hearing his laugh at the wedding, I'm overcome with emotion. So without overcome with emotion, I leave the ceremony and walk down towards the waterfront of the beach.
Why Miles Death Has Changed Me (07:32)
And I sit there. I actually stand. I'm overlooking the water. Some of you that follow me on social media, you'll see the pictures that are posted of me just by myself stirring out in the water. At that moment, I'm having a conversation with Miles. I'm thanking him. I'm in a sense of gratitude for him being present in my life. I'm doing everything I can to get connected back to the power that I know he's given me. Because I feel so distant right now. And in that, no sooner do I finish having this conversation than the wind dies down, the clouds part, sun is beaming over the arch that we're getting married under, and the guests start to walk in. Now maybe you believe in God or a higher power. Maybe you don't. Maybe you believe in the afterlife or reincarnation. Maybe you think that when you get buried or you die, you just go in the dirt and that is it for you. No matter what you believe, there is something magic that happened in that moment from this dark, gloomy, windy, cloudy day being brushed aside by something bigger than me to shine light down upon what ended up being where Lindsay and I got married. I choose to look at that as a gift from Miles because I can choose what I believe just like you can. And that's ultimately what this episode ends up being about is choosing what you want to believe in life. I choose to believe that every day is better than the previous I choose to believe that no matter how painful it is that my best friend's not here that there's a gift that he gives me every day I choose to believe that I have been called to lead people somewhere different than where they are at this moment these are choices that I make that are ingrained in my soul that you can't convince me of anything otherwise but you my friend you listen this episode you listen this through your speakers right now you have the same choice all you have to do is take action on it you have to believe in your soul that you are supposed to do more than you're doing now or do what you're doing now with complete excellence these are choices and beliefs that you get to live by. It doesn't matter what another person on the planet thinks. It doesn't matter if your best friend or your kids or your wife or your son or your daughter or your parents agree with where you're going.
The Real Purpose of Success (09:33)
If you know it in your heart, take action and go. Don't let somebody talk you out of what you know is right. And when you stop letting people talk you out of what you know is right. And when you stop letting people talk you out of what you know is right, just like I stopped letting people tell me I'm supposed to be sad when Miles died and I started looking at it as a gift, because it is just that Miles didn't die as a sacrifice to me. Miles died and provided me the gift that I needed to get my ass in gear and attack the next day. And never stop fucking attacking. Because that is a choice. And in that choice, I found a gift. And in that gift, I found purpose. And in that purpose, I found passion. And in that passion, I'm finding direction. The same way that you can. And what's crazy is that direction that you seek, the direction that you have inside of you has always been there. It's nothing that you really have to tap into from an external source. Granted, I use miles passing as fuel for my fire, but the fire was always there. I always knew what I was supposed to be doing. It was always present in my life. This podcast, my postings, the teachings, the things I share with the world are all things that I knew were always supposed to come out. I just told myself a bullshit story as to why I couldn't do it.
Financial Anxiety (11:12)
So as you look around your life and you take stock of where you're at versus where you want to be, the limiting factor ends up being the choices that you're making. Nothing else. And sure, I know some of you listening are going to say, I't have the financial means i can't do this because of that that exists for all of us we are all ascending a ladder at a different rate i'm sharing this message with you from a resort in cabo san lucas mexico it's not the nicest resort and it's not the least expensive. It's just a resort. But in this, I know if I drive down the road, there's people that are spending more money per night to stay in the exact same place that I am. But there's also a bunch of people spending less money than I am. And I know the next time I come back to Cabo, I'll be further down the road, closer to a more expensive place to stay.
Feeling the Need for Success (11:59)
That's not because it matters the amount of money you spend and where you're staying, but it matters the ascension and the process that you're going through to get to where you want to end up. It's wild the metaphors that exist all around us, of all the bullshit stories we tell ourselves about the decisions we truly wish to make. I had convinced myself that coming here, it would be better if I saved an extra thousand dollars than spending it on the better hotel rooms. Maybe I was right, maybe I was wrong. But it was a decision and a choice that I made. Same way I'm choosing to look at miles passing as a gift. So in your life, as you analyze your business right now, what are the choices you're making that are limiting your success? Are you choosing to show up and do the bare minimum? When your workday is supposed to start at 8, are you showing up at 8.01? Are you punching out at 5 o'clock? Are you going as hard as you can during that 8 hours at the job? Or are you just there because you needed a paycheck? Maybe it's in your relationship. Maybe you want to cultivate some magical relationship that you know has endless abundance to it, but you're stuck in your own head of the fact that your significant other might end up leaving you, or he or she could be cheating on you. These are all fucking stories you're telling yourself. And through these stories, eventually though, you're going to manifest themselves into reality. As I shared with you on past podcasts, I had ex-girlfriends that were consistently worried about me cheating on them. And what did I do? Of course, I cheated on them. And I may have been cheating on them when they started to worry. Admittedly, I can't tell the difference at this point. But what I do know is the fact of if I'm going to be accused of something and I'm going to be thought of something in some way, eventually it's just going to come out because it's easier to have it happen that way.
Stories We Tell Ourselves (13:40)
The same thing in your body. What's the story you're telling yourself? That you can't lose weight because your parents are overweight? Because it's too difficult to eat clean? Because it's too expensive? Because you don't have time to make it to the gym? I've heard that five times in the past week with people that I've been around that are incredibly successful, that I just don't have time. Sure. Time is a choice. We all have the same 24 hours that we measure time by. Just what we do with them could be different.
Storytelling And Personal Narratives
The Story You Tell Yourself (14:14)
Of course, there's pros and cons to every situation. If I'm going to spend an hour in the gym, that's an hour I can't spend with Lindsay. That's an hour I can't spend with Gianna. That's an hour I can't spend at the gym. That's the hour I can't spend meditating. That hour is blocked out. But I find power in that hour. So the story that I tell myself is that hour is worth it. Is the hour worth it to you? At the end of the day, when you start putting all these actionable items in sequential order, telling yourself the right stories, creating beliefs that allow abundance to come into your life by taking action towards these goals. One foot in front of the other every day, you're essentially creating the framework to get shit done. Hey guys, Ryan here. Thanks for joining me today. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please head over to iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you consume audio and subscribe to 15 minutes to freedom. If this brought you value, please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to RyanNidell.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L dot com.