Episode 48: Everyone's Got An Excuse Whats Yours - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 48: Everyone's Got An Excuse Whats Yours - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is Everyone's Got an Excuse. What's yours? I'm blessed to come across just a plethora of different people, whether it's those of you that are listening to this to contact me through social media on Instagram or Facebook, or you email me or leave reviews, incredibly appreciative of that. Or if it's just people that I come across in the business world. So I own a marketing agency and market all types of different products for different people across the globe and get to meet some really phenomenal individuals. But in this meeting of phenomenal individuals, what I'm finding is everyone's got a fucking excuse. And it's crazy. I used to have a shitload of excuses because, again, I used to lie to everybody. Lie to myself, lie to different girlfriends, lie to my family. If you could name somebody, I would lie to them. Now, that was an old me. That was before I started living by code. But it still existed. So I'm not judgmental about these people. I just realize the fact that that's part of what goes on. We all tell ourselves these stories. We create these images in our mind of what we can and can't do before we even try it. And so there's a perfect example of this that I want to share. So it's just after Memorial Day. And so there's a perfect example of this that I want to share. So it's just after Memorial Day. And part of Memorial Day in the CrossFit world, which I'm only mildly familiar with, again, I am not a CrossFit athlete by any stretch of the imagination. I don't claim to be. I've never been in a CrossFit box before. So don't take this as I'm professing to be a CrossFit athlete. But I know from social media and I know from what's out there and some CrossFit athletes that I'm friends with that on Memorial Day, everybody does something called a MRF. And that's for Michael Murphy, who is a deceased Navy SEAL. And one of his either favorite workouts or workout that he used to prefer to do occasionally is a one-mile, followed by 100 push-ups, nope, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 air squats, and then another mile.

Motivation And Success Honed By Experience

Why Crossfit (01:49)

So that's what's referred to as a MRF. So I jokingly discussed with Doug in the office that I want to come to his CrossFit box and do a MRF. Oh, keep in mind, this whole sequential event of what you're supposed to do, you're also supposed to be doing it wearing a 20 pound weighted vest. So before Memorial Day comes around, I'm joking with Doug and say, look, like I'm going to come to your CrossFit box. I want to do this. And he looks at me, eyes wide open, like through his glasses, staring at me like, are you serious? Like you're a 265 pound man. That's never been athletic in that capacity before. Like that's a big leap. I said, man, how tough can it be? This can't be that big of a deal. And he's like, man, it's a little bit more than a big deal. It's not easy for everybody to do. So we laugh about it, and I forget about it. It's in passing. It's something I say that I meant in the moment, but it didn't have enough weight for it to stick to me. So we get married out in Venice Beach May 19th, and we decide to stay out in California for basically another 10 days, which overlaps into Memorial Day. So Doug messaged me on either Saturday or Sunday and says, hey, you're coming to the gym for the MRF. I'm like, man, until you brought that up, I literally forgot all about it. Like, no, regretfully, I can't. I'm still gonna be in California. But for that, I'll do a MRF out here in California. Like, you reminded me. Thank you. And whether I said thank you or not, Tim, it internally so I'm saying it now like thank you to Doug for reminding me to do a Murph And so as I'm doing this as I'm getting geared up for it as I'm getting excited for this I come up with the fucking brilliant idea to do a Murph a day for 30 days Thank you. Okay. So here's somebody in myself that has never competed in a CrossFit competition who I don't remember the last time I've ran anywhere. I certainly can't remember time time I've done a hundred pull-ups in a row, 200 pushups or 300 air squats. Like this has never happened to me before. And so I opened my big mouth, posted on social media, like who wants to do a Murph a day for 30 days with me and put one of those little polls on Instagram. And of course there's a handful of people. I think it was 12 or 15 people that said, yeah, I'll do one a day with you. Then there were four or five people that said, no, you're crazy. Like I don't care about expansion was what I put. Like that was the other option. Like, yes, I want to grow or no, I don't care about growing. And so in that a few people messaged me like, are you serious? Was this like just for social media? I'm like, oh yeah. Like I don't, I'm not going to open my mouth for something that I'm not actually going to try to do, but I don't say try to do in this moment. I say actually do it. So here I am four days in open my mouth for something that I'm not actually going to try to do. But I don't say try to do in this moment. I say actually do it. So here I am four days in and my body is shot. Like I did it with no vest the first day because I was in California and didn't have a vest. When I come home, I don't have a 20-pound vest. I have a 40 or 45-pound vest. I don't really know what it is. It just feels really fucking heavy. So I put on the vest and I do the Murph and it takes me just over an hour. And on day three, I don't use the vest again. It takes me, let's say 47, 48 minutes. Day four, I use the vest again. And so I'm sitting here in this chair. My shins are sore as can be. My knees feel like I can feel my heart beat pumping in them. My lats are destroyed, but I love it. Like it's pushing me to think way outside the box of what I was capable of. I'm literally sitting in the office sweating from doing it this morning. It's wild. It's the most crazy experience I've ever had before. But in this, I've had conversations now with another man that's committed to do this Murph a day. And this man's another entrepreneur, a business owner from across the country.

Motivated by FOMO (05:18)

And he originally messaged me the day I posted like, man, I'm in a hundred percent. This is awesome. Let's do it. And then day two comes around or it's even before he does it on day one. That's me like, I'm in 100%. And then two hours later, it's, well, you know, it's probably, we shouldn't do it every day. We should do it five days in a row and then take two days off because our body needs recovery. My response to him is, man, you can do anything you want to. I committed. I'm doing 30 days. Then his next excuse is the fact of, well, you know, he used to be in the military and all these things go on and it's just not, you can't do this. You can't do it for 30 days in a row. It's not safe. You're going to hurt yourself. Admittedly, maybe that's fucking true. Maybe I'm going to destroy my body, but these aren't excuses I'm willing to accept on the front side. I want to go through the process and see it on the backside. So it continues on. And there's another two or three excuses he comes up with. So he ends up going through the first day and he's very excited about his opportunity. Gets on with the first day's MRF. He's pumped. He feels good. He's sweated. You feel like a monster when you're done doing a MRF. If you haven't done one before, I heavily encourage you to try to go out and do it tonight. You don't need to go to a gym to do one of these. Sure, the pull-ups, you might need something, but you can figure that out. But on day two, he messaged me. Man, I went to the gym this morning, and I'm on the treadmill, and I didn't even get the full mile done. My shins hurt, blah, blah, blah, all this shit. I had to call it quits. I don't know how you're possibly doing this without recovering. Okay, so really, that is a fucking excuse. You made it to the gym. This man made it to the gym. He made it to the treadmill. So mentally, he got himself all the way there. And then after the first part of it, he says, no, I'm done. So don't think for one second that now on day four, that I'm not miserable the entire time. Like it's not enjoyable for me. My body is not equipped to do this at this moment. Little over muscle bound, definitely not flexible. Certainly don't have a lot of athletic prowess for this, but damn it, I've committed to do it. So I'm going to stick it through. Yeah, I'm sharing with you like it sucks, but it's not impossible. Like I'm not in some sort of an event, so I don't have to compete with somebody else. It takes me an hour and 20 minutes to do it, then it takes me an hour and 20 minutes to do it. My pride won't let that happen. Like an hour is my cutoff time. But nonetheless, it's possible. So this man, this friend of mine lays up on day two. And then he proceeds to message me throughout the day and we have a phone call just discussing like, man, I don't know how you're doing this. Like what are you doing to recover? I said, well, I'm not. I'm having message me throughout the day and we have a phone call just discussing like, man, I don't know how you're doing this. Like, what are you doing to recover?

You are what you think (07:45)

I said, well, I'm not. I'm having amino acids throughout my day. I'm drinking a couple gallons of water and making sure I eat good meals throughout the day. There's no magic to this. My shins hurt. My calves hurt. My ankles hurt. My knees hurt. Name a part of my body and it is currently sore. But it's supposed to be. That's what challenge and expansion is all about, making you uncomfortable. And through that uncomfortable nature, you're going to find growth. But this man in our conversations is almost intentionally stunting his growth by not owning the fact that he's being less than he could be. You see, he is so concerned about the diet, so concerned about how he's timing his nutrients, so concerned about how in the world I could be doing this, that he's forgotten the fact that he's in control of his own body and his own mind. And what your mind sees, your body can conceive. So think about that. I have already mentally seen myself 30 days from now looking back being like, damn, I don't know how I did that, but I did it. Like I already know the end result. I'm going to do it for 30 days straight. Short of a catastrophic event where I end up tearing a hamstring or tearing a pec, which are completely possible because I'm certainly not recovering enough, but that's part of this to me. I won't know my limit until I push it. Nor will this individual, nor will you. There's no way to know what you're capable of without shitting on the excuse you make. So here we are on day four, and he texted me last evening, and he did day three, but he thinks that cryogenic treatments are going to help him and all these things. And don't get me wrong, they could help, but at the end of the day, all the extra stuff doesn't matter. What matters is what's in his head. He's self-defeating. But what's crazy is, as his friend on the outside, this is a story of his entire life. And I'm not picking on this individual because I have been him before. And I don't know if he listens to this podcast. So if he does, I hope he gets the message. Like I was the most self-defeating motherfucker on the planet that I wasn't going to be good enough, that nobody wanted to listen to my podcast, that nobody cared about what I had to say, that I wasn't attractive enough to have an attractive wife, that I wasn't smart enough to have a good business, that I didn't really deserve love for the things I'd done before. So these were all bullshit stories I told myself. These were all excuses that went into the fact of not being able to have what I really wanted. But here I am, self-promoting right now. I have a top 10 podcast in the country. Thank you so much for listening to it. I sincerely appreciate it. Without you, it wouldn't happen. The successful business, a phenomenal relationship, and I'm pretty fucking happy with how my body is. Because I stopped telling these stories.

The world is set up to keep people from success. (10:10)

I started creating my own new stories. I eliminated the old excuses. And all I want for this guy is to do the same. Like he's got a podcast. He has a message. He's just not sharing it. He wants to be more than he is, but he keeps talking himself out of it. But see, that's not dissimilar to the majority of people in the world. It takes a mental shift to understand the fact that the world has set you up for failure. You know, you listen to this podcast, everything around you is set up to make sure that you don't think you can do something. You know, we look at social media, look at Instagram, you look at Facebook, and what you see on there is the best of everybody's life. You see the excitement when you first get a new car. You see the great vacations people are on. And you see the highlight reel. And so statistically it's been proven that depression increases by 65% to people that are more active on social media than are not active on social media because you end up comparing yourself to the highlight reel of everybody else's life. You can't compare to a highlight reel. The real world is not a fucking highlight reel of everybody else's life. You can't compare to a highlight reel. The real world is not a fucking highlight reel. The majority of my days are consistent and monotonous, but through that consistency, there becomes expansion. And that expansion leads to growth, and that growth leads to new successes. But you have to keep expanding. You have to keep understanding the fact that the old excuses I made aren't relevant, and the new ones I have to shield, I have to shed myself of in the future. So this man, this great man with this great message and a business that he wants to grow, he keeps telling himself these bullshit stories, which I call excuses. You know, he's overcoming pieces and parts of it. It used to be that he couldn't get in shape because of the military and because of PTSD and his hormones are out of whack and all this stuff. That's a fucking bullshit story. Same thing for you. The stories that you're telling yourself right now that you can't get in shape because maybe your parents were overweight or maybe because you don't have the time because work is so draining or the kids or the family or the relationship you want. That's all bullshit. Like stop lying to yourself. You can go have anything you want in the world. If you want a better body, eat better food and go work out. I had a call with a listener earlier this week. Great guy from Maryland. Like phenomenal guy. Young man, 25 years old. I'm not an old man. I'm only 34. He's 25 years old. And he's sharing with me like, man, I used to be a college athlete and I haven't been in the gym and I'm not happy with my body. And it dawns on me and I'm talking to him like he's a successful guy who works for the government. Like, look, buddy, all you got to do, something is better than nothing. So get your ass out of bed 20 minutes early. Do 50 push-ups. Do 50 air squats. Do 50 burpees. Just do something in your apartment or condo. Don't worry about right now going all in for a gym. Maybe it's not your time. Maybe you just need to get your heart rate up to start the morning so you start getting those endorphins flowing. Remember what it feels like to work out and sweat. Because that muscle memory and that remembrance of what that feels like hopefully will be enough to get you in the gym. But if it's not, you're still burning more calories today than you did yesterday. And after work, when you're faced with the opportunity to go out for beers and burgers with the boys from work, unless they are people that you aspire to be, that they have more than you have and they can add value to your life, tell them to go get fucked. These people are not benefiting your life.

Tell people to go get fucked if they arent adding value to your life (13:13)

They're not lifting you up to a higher place. Sure, there's a time and place in life that we all have to give back. Like I certainly will give anything I have to anybody that asks for it. But the realization I've come to in my life is the fact that my time is precious. My words are valuable. So who and when I share them with actually matters. Because there's only so much time and I don't know how to make more of it. Maybe you're not bullshitting yourself in your body. Maybe it's in your relationship. Maybe you've come up with an excuse that because you come from a broken home or because you've been cheated on before, that it's just, that's what you're doomed for.

Stop creating a broken-home excuse. (13:44)

You're just doomed for an unhappy relationship. Maybe you're married right now and you just can't figure out how to be happy. That's normal. That's life. Like relationships take work. And in that work, you're going to have to figure out what you actually want and then work through the things to make your partner feel good. And if after a long enough time period, I don't know what that time period is for you. Three months, six months, nine months. If you can look back to yourself and say you went all in for that time and you did everything you possibly could. You read every book, you went to every counseling session, you became the best version of yourself and that relationship doesn't work, leave. It's really that simple. I don't care if you have kids or not. I'm a product of a broken home. My parents got divorced when I was 14. I still have managed to become an okay individual in life. Business that's okay. Friends that are good. Podcasts that's great. Like life is good. So don't feel obligated just because you're in a relationship right now and you have kids and you have responsibilities that you're doomed to stay in that relationship forever.

Curating A Supportive And Productive Environment

Stop creating excuses. (14:41)

But you have to audit and come up with an excuse that you're not happy because you're not trying. Is that an excuse you've now created? Or maybe it's in your business. Maybe business-wise, you're just convinced to yourself that there's no chance for you to have a million-dollar business. You know, that not enough people want to buy your product. That it's too tough to market. Like how do you get things to convert on Facebook? These are all bullshit excuses. And Tony Robbins says it best. It's not a lack of resources that matter. It's a lack of resourcefulness. You have endless capability at your fingertips. Like I'm sitting in front of a MacBook Air right now that is literally seven years old. Thing barely turns on, but it's what I record every podcast on. I know at any given time, I might only have 45 minutes of battery life if I unconnected from a power source. But I know in that 45 minutes, as long as there's Wi-Fi, I can log on to Google or YouTube and I can find out just about anything about any subject that I want. Because I've shifted my mindset from coming up from excuses and creating results. So you can't have both. You can't have excuses and results in the same sentence. So you have to decide which one's worth more to you. The excuse that you're holding onto or the results you want to go after. Because it is truly one or the other. And we start to recreate your stories and start eliminating the excuse that you've had and start looking towards results. And you do that, and start looking towards results, and you do that for enough days in a row, you'll see that every day you end up getting shit done. Hey guys, Ryan here. Thanks for joining me today. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please head over to iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you consume audio, and subscribe to 15 Minutes to Freedom. If this brought you value, please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to RyanNidell.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L dot com.

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