Episode 50: Book Review - The Way Of The Superior Man - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 50: Book Review - The Way Of The Superior Man - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".

1970-01-01T01:00:26.000Z

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Introduction

Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is Reviewing the Way of the Superior Man. So here we are, episode 50, and it's pretty crazy to think that in just a short 50 days I've went from a podcast of complete obscurity, first couple episodes had four or 500 downloads. Now I'm getting seven, eight, nine, maybe even 10,000 downloads an episode. I've had 125,000 unique downloads throughout the month. And it's on me that part of these podcasts are me telling a story and then what I've gained out of the story. And in order to adequately share what I've gained out of the story, I have to start creating a frame for you to understand how my mind works. And my mind works from the fact that I read at least a book a week. I know that sounds probably pretty crazy to most people. I mean, I spent, from the time I got out of college until two years ago, if I would have been told that I was going to read a book a week, I would have laughed out loud. The story I told myself is I hated to read. I didn't have any time. I didn't like to do it. I didn't want to do it. And then I started taking note of what all these successful entrepreneurs do across the globe. And one of the biggest things I could find that all of them had in common was they read and they read a lot. And they read consistently. Now, sure, there's different mindsets associated with that. If you're reading, you're now taking other people's information to make it your own. And, you know, are you watering down a unique message? For me, no. I think the more different perspectives and viewpoints I can have in the world, the better my daily life becomes.


Discussion On Relationships And Communication Strategies

The Way of the Superior Man (01:45)

And so I sat on a mission last October to read a book a week. And I've done that plus or minus a few books. Some books are a little shorter, some books are a little longer, but all in all, I read about a book a week. And the book that I read over the past seven days, it actually took me all of a whopping six hours to read between a flight leaving Columbus to head to L.A. and a flight coming back from L.A. into Columbus. The book that I read was The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. And I might be saying that wrong. It's D-E-I-D-A. And so this book had been recommended by a friend of mine, Tommy Baker, probably 20 or 30 guys in the Wake Up Warrior group, another 10 or 15 local entrepreneurs or national entrepreneurs. And so what I do personally is I go on these book buying binges on Amazon. I'm an Amazon Prime member. Amazon to me is the best thing and the worst thing in the world because I'll get on this quick rabbit hole where I see somebody post a book on social media. It's somebody that I know, like, and trust, respect their message. And so I buy the book. But after I buy the book, Amazon's great at offering you other books that might pique your interest, and I'll just keep buying until I hit 100, 120, 150 bucks. Then it's like Christmas. Every three or four weeks, I'm buying a bunch of books. And I'm buying them because I need them. For me, need, I guess, is a funny term. I want them because I want to have a plethora of books based off marketing, personal development, being a better father, husband, leader, being a better speaker. The books that I have are across every genre. Now, I don't read any fiction books. Everything is nonfiction. But these books have benefit to me. And so The Way the Superior Man took, like I said, all of six hours to read. And it is a very, very simple seven chapter paperback book that describes really that it's geared towards men, but in the preface to the book as it starts, it guides you down the path, whether you're a man or a woman, there's tons of value in this book. And I'll admittedly share with you guys, some of the books I've read that I do reviews on, they suck. Like I don't like them. They're a heavy read. It takes a long time. It takes a lot of brain power to get through it. But this isn't one of them. This is a book where essentially it takes you down the difference between men and women from the author's point of view and how as a man, you should interact with a woman to better your position in life. Now, that's not to manipulate or to maneuver through a situation. That's to literally maximize your position every day. So like, for instance, one of the key points in the book is, you know, go just beyond the edge of your comfort. So that only comes not only in your relationship with a woman, but also in everyday life as a man. But it's not only a man. If you're a woman listening to this podcast, it's the same thing. How often in your life are you staying just to what's comfortable? You become lazy or complacent or compliant to the fact of you only have what you have and you never really get knocked off center. And months go by and then years and then decades and you've never progressed in life. You've never become uncomfortable. You've never leaned just outside where you should have leaned. And so without that leaning, without that growth, you don't ever fully expand to what you're capable of. So what this book goes on to say is that if you lean just past the edge of fear and discomfort, that there's such growth and expansion that comes there that you end up looking backwards over your life over the course of quarters of the year or years at a time, and the old you becomes unrecognizable, which is a little crazy because that's one of the other topics I've covered multiple times from the Wake Up Warrior movement. If you follow those actionable items every week, you eventually look back and you just don't realize how much growth you've had in that month or year or whatever the timetable is you're looking to monitor things by.


Be Expandable (05:05)

Not only does it cover growth and expansion as a man, but it covers how to work with inside a woman's polarity or energy. And same thing with a man. I don't think anybody listening to this podcast would have a difficult time admitting the fact that men are very logical typically in their thought process and women are typically a little bit more emotional. Now that's not downgrading women and there are certainly men that are emotional in their mindsets just as there are women that are logical in their mindsets. And that's just the difference in masculine and feminine energy that exists in all of us Where you look at look at us as a battery look at men and women as a battery You know the the positive and negative terminals on a battery. What do they look like? You know no different than a man like or a woman, you know, you have the male anatomy that sticks out from the body That's an energy center just you have a woman's you know lower part of her anatomy that goes inward that's an energy center. We just have our own way of thinking and conducting. So as you look at that thing, you have to understand what this author is suggesting is if a woman comes to you and she's very mad and she's frustrated, and Lord knows as a man that makes mistakes, I probably deserve everything Lindsay's ever been frustrated about. Like, not probably. I 100% deserve everything she's been frustrated about. Because I can set my ways and fixate on what I think is important, and I don't always give full attention to what she could be thinking or feeling. So let's say I come home from work, come home from the office, and she's just pissed off. Like, she's just mad. And rightfully so. I'm probably an hour and a half late. I've missed dinner. I haven't called because I've been on a phone call. And everything just kind of spirals out of control. And she's just mad and rightfully so. I'm probably an hour and a half late. I've missed dinner. I haven't called because I've been on a phone call and everything just kind of spirals out of control and she's frustrated. And so for that, I have a couple of options when I walk through the door. I can succumb to her masculine energy that she's going to exhibit in that moment where she's going to be pissed off. She's probably going to raise her voice a little bit. She's going to be a little stern, going to be harsh. So I can cower to that. I can be weak to that. And that is an option. But in doing that, long term, if I were to continue to do that, she's going to lose some of the attraction to me because I no longer have that masculine power and energy that women are attracted to, or at least Lindsay. I can't say women in general.


How To Handle A Woman During A Dispute (07:36)

I know Lindsay's attracted to this. Another option is to laugh it off and dismiss her as though her feelings don't matter Well, obviously we all know how that will end up. That's not a positive for anybody the other option and what david suggests in this book is during that time where she's Elevated her emotions and she's very frustrated that you mirror her frustration with your confidence And through that knowing that most women have triggers of kinesthetic touch, that you actually go to her while she's frustrated, raise her arms over her head and just hold her for a second. Break down that wall, break down that barrier and get inside her comfort zone and just sincerely apologize if you've actually made a mistake, as I certainly have. Getting in her space and letting her know that she's safe and protected and that you're sorry and not giving a reason for it, not giving justification, but like this is what happened. Take ownership of it, but take ownership of the love that she needs to feel in the same time period. There are so many different pearls of wisdom in here that are incredible little chapters of just genius things. It's a 43, 48 chapter book where we look at something like the feminine abundant, which there's never a shortage of women in the world that we can feel as men feminine energy from. If a man feels at any given time that a woman's energy isn't enough for him, there's a bunch of other women around to go find. Now, I'm not saying that that's something we should do, but knowing that that's present and then operating life through that so you're never operating out of scarcity. So it's easy to read one of these books at surface level. I can read this and say, okay, what David's saying is if I'm not happy with my woman, there's another one around the other corner, I should just leave her. That's actually the polar opposite of what he's saying. This book goes into such detail about the fact of, you know, there are different women, so you have to pick and choose the one you spend time with and pour into her and understand staying in a masculine energy and allow her to own her feminine energy and to combine your two forces together and to work through the growth and the expansion you're both going to experience. It's really a truly incredible, incredible book. Especially when you start getting into the final chapters, which are some of the most impactful to me being a very sexually charged individual. He starts getting very in-depth into sexual chemistry with men and women and what that means. in depth into sexual chemistry with men and women and what that means. And so, you know, as many men that I know are guilty of, we are self-serving in some capacity in the bedroom. We become intimate with a woman. We, you know, whatever that means, you operate in a sexual capacity until you ejaculate, whatever you want to call it, and next thing you know, it's over.


The Importance Of Opening Up To Your Partner (10:21)

You're done. And you lay there, and you are in the state in that moment as a man. You're in the state of just euphoria. Like all the world's issues have gone away. And most of us men fall asleep, snore. I'm guilty of it. Lindsay will attest to it. Get done doing the deed. My mouth is open within five minutes. I'm snoring, and she's laughing. We have a series of pictures that she's taken of me snoring, my mouth is open within five minutes, I'm snoring and she's laughing. We have a series of pictures that she's taken of me snoring with my mouth open at various points, not just after sex, but on airplanes, in cars. That's just kind of my normal sleeping pattern. And so there's a challenging thought process in the fact that during that time period that our seed has been planted into a woman that she's the most vulnerable she's ever going to be. And if we care and respect that vulnerability, we'll actually hold that woman close during that time period and make her feel protected and loved and stay awake and stay there and present in the moment. Not to mention diving into the things of what it means to hold off on your ejaculation.


The Hidden Power To Becoming One With Your Partner (11:15)

Like how do you, how as a man do you stop your orgasm? And I'm sure no man listening to this is ever a quick ejaculator. We all are marathon men, right guys? We'll last hours. Well, let's be real for a second. That doesn't always happen in life. But there's some practical ways that David expresses in this book and describes in this book to switch your mindset from the orgasm, actually be in one mindset with your woman so you're pleasuring her in the way that she feels about the sexual experience. So you're delaying your gratification, you're making sure that she is completely taken care of and then when the time comes, it's a shared experience. You actually have what he refers to as a whole body orgasm versusction or penile ejaculation. What that is, is basically a breathing technique and a way to shift your energy from the, your, you know, your penis, whatever you want to call it, your dick, whatever the, and now I sound all fucking professional and that's not really how this podcast is supposed to be. You know, you're, you take the energy from your crotch and you send it up through your spine and the top of the head. And you do that by contracting different muscles and breathing in a certain way. And it just gives you power. It gives you power over the whole feeling. And you know that you're pouring into your woman that her feelings and emotions during that time period matter. It's like, that's when you go through this, this book and that sort of quick time period, it's, it becomes painfully obvious in my past relationships, how much of a dick I was. And not because I just would crawl on top of a woman, not care when she was, you know, if she was entertained or pleased or whatever, but even in the way that we communicated. You know, it's such a stark comparison from those relationships to the way that Lindsay and I are. And we started out the right way, well, really the wrong way with how I was a complete jackass, but the right way in the fact that she told me what she needed and I told her what I needed. And I knew very quickly with her personality that whenever she would get mad at me, and those of you that followed the podcast for 50 episodes know she had plenty of fucking reasons to be mad at me, that whenever she gets super mad, I knew that I could touch her and be close to her and smile at her and hold her close and I could break down those walls. Now, I didn't ever want to use that intentionally against her. I just used it because I knew it worked. And through that, that's actually helped our love grow more consistently every week because I never lose sight of that. I never lose sight of the fact that she has to be the woman and I have to be the man. Call gender roles wherever you want to, but there's something to be said for the fact that I truly believe that most women that have a higher amount of feminine energy than masculine energy want a man to feel like they're protected by that man and led by that man. Not in the fact that you're led around by your hair, but like with Lindsay, if I'm walking with her down the street, if we're traveling, I hold her hand.


Context of Confusion (13:53)

I'm slightly in front of her. Not much that's noticeable to the outside world, but I know I'm about a quarter step ahead of her, and I'm always blocking her from the road. I'm always on the roadside. So if something were to ever happen, she's protected. I can push her out of the way, and I'm just slightly in front of her. Same thing when it comes to making decisions. Something as trivial as dinner. How many of us men in the world have said, well, where do you want to eat for dinner? And she says she doesn't care. That's because, sure, you should ask.


Take Charge (14:27)

Maybe there's somewhere that your woman wants to go out to dinner. But at the end of the day, most women want you to stand up and make a fucking decision and lead. Take charge. We're going to this place at this time. Here's what we're doing. Be ready. Look sexy. Have your hair done. We're going to a great dinner. And then actually follow through with what you said. See, this book breaks down the complications that we as men create that don't really have to exist.


Worthy Partaments Inside the Battlefield (14:50)

But we over generations of not paying attention and not being focused on growth have created this environment that allows it to be acceptable to treat women like possessions and objects versus people and things of value, immense value. That when you really look at the world, you can't have a positive without a negative. You can't have a masculine without a feminine. And all life comes from feminine life in itself. So if you take the time and energy and effort as a man to understand how women's minds work at the base level, Lord knows I do not know how women's minds work. I don't want to profess to know that. I know what has made my relationship with Lindsay on fire consistently day over day and week over week. off Lindsay at least twice and taking the pieces and parts of this book and applying it to our relationship and situation has made it so she was pissed off a lot less and for a lot less time. And so as a man that's read this book, I think it has tremendous value. It's something you can download on Kindle. You can buy the book. I think it was $12.99 on Amazon. Really inexpensive, great simple read. As a woman, I think it's important because I'd love to have feedback on how this book resonates with you. So I shared it with Lindsay and when she lowers her wall, the fact of thinking like, oh, I have some hack to figure out how to manipulate her brain. And she realizes the fact that I'm reading this book because I want to be the best partner to her I can be. She starts to, her shell goes down, her wall goes down. She's like, you know, all that stuff makes a lot of sense, Ryan. Like, there is pieces and parts that this applies to our relationship. So I don't have some amazing call to action here.


Conclusion

Final Thoughts (16:31)

I'm not sponsored by David. I don't have some affiliate link to have you click on. I just know that in the six hours it took me to read this 100 and, I'm actually looking at it right now, 194 page book, that I gained enough pearls of wisdom that I have two pages of notes in my phone to refer back to at all times. So in an effort to progress you, the listener, and myself, I'm going to encourage you to go out, buy the book, read it, and continue to get shit done. Hey guys, Ryan here. Thanks for joining me today. read it, and continue to get shit done. please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to RyanNidell.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L.com.


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