Episode 53: No One Is Coming To Save You - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 53: No One Is Coming To Save You - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is No One is Coming to Save You. So I've shared this message quite a bit on social media, and it originally came to me or was brought into my life during a Wake Up Warrior event. And Wake Up Warrior is Garrett White's brainchild. I'm very deep into this, what we call the brotherhood. There's something to be seen there for everybody, though. It's not just men anymore. He's opened up to women. So if you haven't heard of Wake Up Warrior before, check it out on wakeupwarrior.com. There's a bunch of different ways to get to it. Just type in Garrett J. White or Wake Up Warrior and you'll see what I'm talking about. But nonetheless, I digress. I was told in Wake Up Warrior at the first event that I went to, no one was coming to save me. It didn't make any sense to me. Of course, there's nobody that's going to come into my life that's going to save me from anything. I'm responsible for myself. But it didn't have any magnitude behind it. There wasn't any weight behind it. It was just a coy saying. You know what? I'm in a room, when this is going on, I'm in a room full of at least 300 other men. I'll say most of some varying level of success, typically A-type personalities. And we're almost chanting this in a rhythmic nature. So in this, you can imagine there's power behind it. I know it's actually, we're hitting our chest as we're saying it, very Wolf of Wall Street-esque, and it's connecting with me, but I don't fully connect the dots behind the scenes. Well, that changed this weekend. It changed this weekend because I was in the midst of doing my 30 MRFs in 30 days. And a MRF, for those of you that are unfamiliar with that, it is wearing a 20-pound weighted vest, running a mile, doing 100 pull-ups, followed by 200 push-ups, followed by 300 air squats, followed by another mile. Now, it's not enough just to do it. You're supposed to wear a 20-pound weighted vest. By me being an overachiever and also ignorant, I figured I could do it with a 45-pound weighted vest.

Personal Responsibility & Challenges

Training in the Weighted Vest (02:02)

That's admittedly because I own a 45-pound weighted vest. I don't want to take out the weight. It was almost an ego thing that that old side of me reared its ugly head. And so I committed on social media. And damn it, if I can't back up my own words, I can't expect somebody else to. So I'm in this commitment that nobody else cares about, but I care. So I'm at the gym. It's Sunday. Hop on the treadmill. I don't get to the gym my normal time. I'm normally an 8 o'clock in the morning workout guy. Get it out of the way. The day kind of got away from me. I focused on the family. We pulled weeds. We did all these miserable things that I fucking hate doing. I don't know about you guys, but I hate being outside, pulling weeds, messing around in the garden. I laughingly told a gentleman that I hired to come over and help. I don't even not have a green thumb. I don't have thumbs. In that environment, my thumbs have been cut off. I hate gardening. So nonetheless, pulling weeds, I'm hot from being outside. I'm frustrated with that, but I know I got to get this workout in. So I head to the gym. Heading to the gym, I'm literally talking to myself as I'm heading there in my head, talking about all the other workouts I could do. Like no one's going to know if I don't do this Murph. I don't really share it on social media all that much. If I do and I share it, it's because I need the personal accountability. It's not for adulation from others. So here I am, driving to the gym, doing everything I can to talk myself out of why I shouldn't do this workout. No one's going to know. It's late. I can make it up tomorrow. Insert 25 variables on this very short 10-minute drive. Nonetheless, I get to the gym, open my trunk where my gym bag's at, and next to my gym bag is my 45-pound weighted vest. And it's almost taunting me. You know, sitting in the back of my car, flopped open. When I open the trunk, there's this aroma that comes out of my trunk at this exact moment. And the aroma is kind of like a combination of damp towels and dirty gym socks. And that aroma is actually coming from this weighted vest. I didn't realize that until I picked up out of the car on Sunday and I threw it over my shoulder and the waft was pretty unique. Well, with this 45 pound weighted vest, you can imagine, a man, I'm 6'2", 265 or so, I sweat fairly profusely as I'm using this vest and have yet to clean it, which I realize is a shortcoming of mine. It absolutely needs to take a trip around the washing machine. Nonetheless, I throw the 45-pound vest over my shoulder and walk into the gym. Walking to the gym, going to the locker, I'm still contemplating what other workout I could do to half-ass count for a MRF. It's like, well, I could walk on the treadmill for a mile and I could probably do some sort of like pull downs or rows. I can manufacture my own quote unquote Murph. And obviously without being disrespectful, that is not a Murph. That is not what Michael Murphy stood for. That is not any of those things. Admittedly, none of this was racing through my mind when I was thinking about calling it quits. It just was what was going on. But I digress. I throw the vest on, tighten it up. I tighten it to the point that it's a little restrictive. You know, I like to feel it around the sides of my rib cage. I don't have it flop around because I'm going to get pretty physical when I wear it. So trudge up the stairs. The gym that I work out at has two levels. It's a lifetime fitness here in Columbus. Walk up the second level. The gym is empty. I mean, it's 4 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon. If you ever wanted to go to a gym where you weren't bothered to talk to, apparently it's 4 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon in Dublin, Ohio. There is nobody in this gym.

The Murph (05:13)

So me being who I am, I feed off energy of people, both good and bad. So I walk in, and it's like a vortex. It's consuming all my energy because there is literally nobody there. I'm not getting any positive feedback from anybody. So I put in and it's like a vortex. It's consuming all my energy because there's literally nobody there. I'm not getting any positive feedback from anybody. So I put on my headphones and hop on one of these treadmills that is a treadmill without a motor. And I don't know the specific name for it. It's strange. It's a little half arch thing that's got handles on the side. It's got a really small screen. And so you can't really, you can't cheat the system. You can't just coast. It's as close to running outside as possible without a lot of the impact on your knees and joints. So I start on the path. I start with a brisk walk and then eventually work into a jog and then start sprinting. And I go back and forth between a jog and a sprint. And sure, as I get to the end of my mile, I'm sure my jog looked more like an accelerated walk. Let's not kid ourselves. But the moment I'm sprinting full out and thinking I'm jogging. So I get done with that and my time was literally 10 minutes on the dot. So again, I'm not setting world records here. I'm doing this because I committed to it and I'm pushing myself past the level of expansion that I thought I was capable of. So I hop off that and then I drag myself over, drinking the gallon of water I brought with me, drag myself over to the pull-up bar. And here's where things get interesting for me every time. Already it's difficult for my shoulders and my lats and just my body to hoist my 265-pound body up to do a proper chin-up. Now throw a 45-pound black, heavy, sweaty vest over my body, and it's a whole new degree of difficulty. So I reach up and I grab the chin-up bar and I get the first, I think I got 15 in. I'll round up and say 17. Don't remember the exact number, but I'm pulling up and I get to the point that I look up at the bar and I'm still holding on. I'm losing my grip. I can feel the knurls of the bar cutting into my hands. I'm squeezing at the tight number. I was like, I'm fucked here. I can't get another one. So I stopped, take a quick breath, timeout, shake out my lats, jump back up, do another five, then four, then four, then three. And I continue on until I get a hundred pull-ups done. Now you can imagine how long it takes when your first set was 17, your next set was five, your next set was four, and then the rest are threes. It was exhausting. All I want to do at this point is quit. Like I'm looking around as I get down to my pushup position, because the next part of this is 200 pushups. Admittedly, 200 pushups become easier for me because this vest has additional mass to it on the front. So when I go down for a push-up, the vest doesn't sag off my chest, but it still hits the ground before a normal push-up would. So it's a restricted range of motion. So I'm praying to God that something happens. Fire alarm, sprinkler system goes off. Maybe somebody has a heart attack on the floor and we have to stop. Like I'm thinking of any crazy concoction that someone's going to come in and save me. I'm just convinced there's somebody that's going to come in here and stop me from having to finish this Murph. But nobody does. And so I sequentially start with 45 push-ups, then 25, then 15, then 10, then 5, and 5, and 5, and 5, and I eventually get to 200. Now, I'm not timing myself. I know one of the things in a Murph is you time yourself and you compete against yourself. I didn't even think to start my stopwatch to start this Murph evolution for myself because I didn't want to do it to start with. I was hoping that someone was coming to save me in this. And saving is really an excuse. I'm hoping that I'm going to have an excuse to just call this quits. Then we get over to the air squats. And I found with the air squats, as I continue to do my air squats, starting from one and getting to 300, the closer I get to 300, the higher my squat depth goes. When I was getting, when I first started this, when I got to 200, I can't even say what call a squat. Maybe it looked like a stiff-legged deadlift where I'm like bending over at the waist. It's atrocious. It's probably laughable to most people. I'm covered in sweat. I'm panting. The vest stinks. My feet hurt. My shins hurt. And so I realized if I got a box, a stool or whatever you want to call it, something that sits below parallel on my squat that I can sit down onto the box, touch my butt and go up. So then I know my 300 squats are real 300 squats. Like it's touch and go. It's not sitting there, taking a breather, standing up. It's consistent until my legs give out, give or take. Ends up being between 70 and 80 squats most of the time for me to start with. So again, 80 squats. And you get where I'm going to go with this. Of course, that number drops every time. So eventually I get to the point where I'm doing 35 squats at a time. But I wrap up the squats. And I look at the clock, and at the clock, I realize it's just after 5 o'clock. And Lindsay, my wife, and Gianna, my daughter, who's actually going to her father's house at 6 o'clock, have messaged me that they're done at the barn, and they're coming home, and they want me to come home. Well, that's great. I want to be home as well. And so I'm thinking, this is it. This is my excuse. Now I'm out. I've got to get home to my family. And I have to walk, from where I was doing the the air squats I have to walk past the same treadmill the same torture device That I started with As i'm texting them i'm like, you know, fuck it.

You Owe It To Yourself (10:10)

I owe it to myself to follow through with my word Nobody's gonna know if I did or not, but it's my sense of pride that matters No one is coming to save me So I hop on the treadmill and I start. At this point, I'm shot. I'm exhausted. I'm out of breath. I'm dehydrated. It's already been an hour or so. And I started working the treadmill. And this mile takes me just over 11 minutes. Great. No big deal. You know, we get it done So 11-minute miles for those of you that aren't runners is not quick whatsoever. You think of long-distance runners now can run 4-minute miles pretty easily. So they're running 2.5 miles in the time it took me to run one. It's not setting the world on fire by any means. So I get off the treadmill, finish my gallon of water, and then I see an assault bike in front of me.

No One Is Coming To Save You (10:58)

And I've never been on an assault bike before. Some of the guys I follow on social media, some of my friends, show these workouts where then I see an assault bike in front of me. And I've never been on an assault bike before. Some of the guys I follow on social media, some of my friends, show these workouts where they're on an assault bike. And now I'm feeling confident and cocky in myself because I did what I said I was going to do. I didn't bow out. I didn't quit. Nobody saved me. Like, I'm going to hop on the assault bike right now. So I hop on this assault bike and do 10 seconds of mass exertion followed by 20 seconds of kind, mass exertion, followed by 20 seconds of kind of a coast. And I do that 10 times through. Now I'm, now I'm truly spent. Like now I'm out of it. That's 520 or 530. Lindsay and Gianna, of course, are frustrated because I'm going to be late, hop in the shower at the gym and I'm driving home. And I realize now really what it means that no one's coming to save me. I know that in this situation, in the situation of the MRF, something that's solely based around my body, that I'm the only one in control. If I don't follow through with my word, if I don't do what I said I would do for myself, no one else is going to.

No One is Going To Save You (11:53)

It's me against me. I'm driving home, and the windows are down and the cool breeze is blowing off the river I drive next to on the way home. I'm realizing the fact that this applies to way more than just this little murph I'm doing for the next, I think at this point, 23 days. Hopefully, pray to God, it's almost over 23 days or so. This applies to every part of my life. Like, where is it in my life that I'm not playing for me, where I'm expecting somebody else to quote-unquote come and save me? And I was shocked as someone that is always pushing forward, as I'm driving, thinking about this, radio is off, windows are down, sunroof's open, I'm shocked at how many places are running through my mind where I'm hoping that someone's gonna come in and just handle the tough stuff for me. And they're not. No one's gonna make up the time I just missed with Lindsay and Gianna because I didn't get my ass out of bed in time and get going to get my MRF done in the morning. No one's gonna save me from that. I made a choice to miss out on the 35 or 40 minutes that I could have spent with them before she went to her father's house. I can't get that back. No one's going to save me as I sit in the office today and talk to the guys about the scaling of our other aspects of our business and how that looks and the fact that if we don't generate income from those, they don't get to feed their family in the same capacity that I want them to. No one's going to come and magically save me from that. No one's bringing a magic wand or riding on a white horse to fix this. Just like no one's coming into your life to fix your life. We all kid ourselves. We hope for somebody to come in as a savior. Someone's going to magically come in and make our life better. If I only had this, that would be better. How many times in your life have you said that to yourself? If only this happened, my life would be better. That guy is so lucky. Man, all I need, all I need to happen is get this next raise and everything will be different. And lo and behold, you end up getting the raise because you probably deserve it. You probably worked your ass off to get it. But once you have it, after the first month, you've recalibrated and now you're in the same debt load you were before. You're just spending more money. Nothing actually changed because you didn't change the root issue. Nothing saved you. What has to save you comes from inside. You are in control of your own life. You are the one that has to make the shift. So when it comes to your business, whatever it is that you want to achieve, you can blame external forces for all of it But at the end of the day you're responsible for the raise that you're going to get and then how you spend that money You're responsible for the success and failure of your business. It's not the fucking economy It's not the buyers.

Blame External Forces (14:22)

It's not people's ability to have money. It's not your marketing It's your ability to work through the issues and outlast the suck No one there is no guru that's going to come and save you. You can't pay somebody to build you a funnel that's going to change around your business. That does not happen. You have to do it. Same thing with your relationship. Maybe you're currently in a relationship and you think, man, if we could just go to a counselor, I can put the pieces back together and our relationship is going to be saved. My wife and I are going to be good or my husband and I are going to be good or my boyfriend or my girlfriend, wherever your situation is, a counselor is going to fix it. My wife and I are going to be good, or my husband and I are going to be good, or my boyfriend or my girlfriend, or whatever your situation is, a counselor is going to fix it. They have the magic bullet. They don't. No personal development coach, no motivational speaker, no psychologist or psychiatrist, they don't have the magic bullet for you. They can't come and save you. The whole world is built around the fact that that's a lie, that they can save you because if they couldn't save you, there would be no industry. But I must tell you, in my opinion, that savior isn't there. It comes from internally. You're responsible for your own happiness and success. You know what you didn't do right. You know what you need to do to make the relationship work.

Seeking Support Systems

Looking to External Resources (15:41)

Sure, there's external resources and calibration and input that you can get from other individuals to help you become a better father, husband, leader, lover, whatever it is in a man's capability. But it still takes you deploying those resources. Maybe it's in your body. Maybe you're praying to God that if you just have the right trainer, he's going to get your body in check. He's going to be the one to get you the six-pack abs for the summer. If I could only lose 10 pounds, my life would be different. I'd be more attractive and more self-confident so I could pick up more women and then I'd have my relationship thing handled. If I had a better body and a better relationship, then I'd feel better at work and my work life would be better. It's all bullshit. I guarantee you it's bullshit. In the gym, your trainer is not going to save you. What's going to save you is your hard work and dedication outside the gym. What are you putting in your body?

Social And Economic Issues

American Lottery System (16:31)

How much sleep are you getting? Are you drinking enough water? Are you supplementing the deficiencies in your nutrients that you're not getting from your normal food? This list goes on and on and on that you're probably not doing because you're hoping that someone is coming to save you. The entire Western civilization, the entire way the US works right now is looking for the one magic pill, the one button to press to change your life. You're going to go play the lottery hoping to win the million dollars because if you won the million dollars, your life would be better. That's why 92% of lottery winners end up bankrupt within a year. That shit doesn't work. Quit hoping for that. Work on figuring out the fact that you're responsible for your own life, that no one is ever going to save you. We get that ingrained in your subconscious. Then you start taking actionable steps day over day, from reading to expanding your mind, to talking to people that have more experience than you, and you can start applying those things to your life. Then you end up seeing that it's very easy for you to get shit done. Hey guys, Ryan here. Thanks for joining me today. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please head over to iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you consume audio and subscribe to 15 Minutes to Freedom. If this brought you value, please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to ryanneidel.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L.com.

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