Episode 66: In a World Full Of Go, Things You Should Stop - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 66: In a World Full Of Go, Things You Should Stop - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is in a world full of go, things you should stop. Now, there's so many things in life that so many resources, so many entrepreneurial help books say just go. Everything is just go. How quick can you go to market? How quick can you swallow that frog inside you and make that first step? I had an episode about this, 5 Seconds to Launch, a couple episodes back. When you come up with an idea, you need to have that quick-to-go mentality. If not, what's referred to in the psychology words, your lizard brain takes over. The fight or flight brain inside of all of us that stops us from doing harm to ourself activates, and no longer are we able to jump forward. It paralyzes us. So that whole five seconds to make a decision and take action on it is absolutely valid. That's only in a microcosm of what the daily world is for most of us. Like, you can't always go around all day long making decisions, taking action in five seconds. You'd be pretty exhausted by the time the day ends. So when I talk about stopping, it's got some specific advice attached to it as well. I read somewhere in the past, I'll say four weeks, one of the books that I've read, about eliminating the word try. So I think the most important thing to stop doing today is saying the fucking word try. There is no try in life. It's either yes or no. It's black or it's white. It's stop or it's go. Try is the lazy man's way out.

Personal Reflections

Try (01:52)

You're going to try to do something. So let's say there's a dinner party at your friend's house on Friday. I'm going to try to make it. You're saying try because you're waiting for one of a few things to happen. One, you're waiting for a better opportunity to come up. You're hoping that between now and being invited to the time you have to make that decision, that something else comes up so you can say, oh, I'm sorry, I can't make it. That is one option. Another option is the fact of you don't really want to go, but you don't want to hurt the person's feelings. That's a whole other societal issue that we're told as young men and women inside the education system to stay in line, knock it out, not buck the system, not make people's feelings hurt. So we sequester ourselves away from having those actual emotions and being real with people. There's nothing wrong with saying to someone that invites you to a social function, no, I don't want to come. What's wrong with that? Nothing other than the fact that society has told us that's wrong. Or maybe the third option is you've got some other bullshit story that you're concocting in your head that you don't know if something else is going to come to fruition before you have to go to this party. So all these become tries. You're going to try to make it. You're not going to try to do shit. What you're really trying to do is come up with an excuse as to why you're not going to go. You're trying going to try to do shit. What you're really trying to do is come up with an excuse as to why you're not going to go. You're trying not to commit, but too late. You've already actually presented the fact of a commitment. Try doesn't really exist. I would encourage you, and I would challenge you in the next week, that if you can sit down and take action in such a way that when someone asks you a question, anytime you start to say try, you get a finite answer, a final answer. Think about all the way back to Regis Philbin on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire. Is that your final answer? The fucking answer every time better be yes. This hypothetical dinner party we're talking about, if you don't want to go, look the person in the eye, smile, say thank you, but no, I'm not coming. Super uncomfortable, only for the first but no, I'm not coming. Super uncomfortable. Only for the first four or five times you do it. Then it just becomes natural. It's a new learned behavior. The behavior that you're currently operating under, that was learned as well. The word try that was probably passed down from your parents or some bullshit coach in early academia that was trying to teach you how to play a sport, it's okay, just try. That's the same as fucking participation trophies. Those are the worst thing ever. Like, that's accepting the fact that mediocrity and wishy-washiness is going to be okay. It's not. It's not going to get you anywhere. You know, I wear a shirt around from a local provider. Elite FTS is the name of the company. I bought it probably six or eight months ago and it says, go all in or quit. And there's almost no more riveting statement that I see on a day-to-day basis. Like everywhere in life is you have to go all in or stop. And we start going all in or stopping, there is no more try. Equate it to the fitness world. Equate it to yourself in the gym. I'm going to run a 10-minute mile. It's way different than I'll try to run a 10-minute mile. Even me saying those out loud to you make you feel differently if you're honest with it. I'm going to try to get to the gym every morning. Bullshit. No, you're not. That's not a fucking commitment. Commit. Commit. Commitment is good. Commitment is strong. You'll find power in your fucking commitment. I guarantee it. But most people don't want to commit because it's uncomfortable, because it doesn't leave options and opportunities for the way out. And again, call it our lizard brain, we're always preconditioned to have that way out. Like, what else could we get into? How else can we get there? Another thing to me you should stop is saying, should.

Saying Should Have I Should Have (05:36)

Like, I should have done this. No, like, you didn't, and that was a decision you made like once you make a decision once you stick to that yes or no black or white don't ever go back and say you should have done something different you were presented with the options and you made the best decision for yourself in the moment that doesn't mean it's always gonna be the right decision 50% of the time it's probably gonna be wrong that's the way the world works. But don't ever look backwards and say you should have made a different decision because you can't get to where you're at now if you haven't been through all the things you've went through. Whatever those are. You guys know my things. The cheating, the lying, car repossessions, failed businesses. But also on the other side of that, I have to look at the world the other way. You can't have the pros without the cons. Incredible life experiences, great interactions with multiple different people, a life of joy and happiness and laughter. Now, I had positives to every negative because to me, that's the way the world really works. If you look at the law of conservation of energy, matter and energy can't be created nor destroyed. It just transfers. If you really believe that to be true, as I do, then everything in the universe is interconnected. And through that interconnection, you can't have something horrible go on in the left hand side without acknowledging the fact that somewhere else in the world, or maybe in your own life, there's something positive going on on the right hand side. It just doesn't work. So start looking at life that way versus that thing of regret and remorse and saying, I should have done this. Man, I beat myself up for months with the I should have done stuff about Miles. Like I should have left the event and went to Miles so he wasn't dead. I should have. Well, no, it was a fucking decision I made. I made the decision in the moment that what he told me on the phone was absolute truth and that him and I were fine and that he was good. Even though my intuition told me he wasn't. I should not have went to him. It was a decision I had to make. I have to honor that commitment to myself. Another thing is hard.

Hard (07:42)

Like, this is hard. Life's not supposed to be easy. This podcast, all the stuff that we do, I'll say the podcast specifically, it's not easy. It's not supposed to be. I laugh when we talk about it with the guys at the office. I can literally show up to the office, sit down, Doug's already got the lights on, the microphone's plugged in, everything's ready to go. I can sit down and Doug's already got the lights on, the microphone's plugged in, everything's ready to go. I can sit down and record an episode in 15 or 20 minutes and leave. And it would be the best job in the world. But that's really underselling how hard this is. Like I have to consistently work on and am consistently working on how I deliver my speech patterns to you on the other side of the microphone. How am I using sequential pauses? patterns to you on the other side of the microphone? How am I using sequential pauses? How am I transferring and transitioning in and out of different subjects? How am I going to interview Lindsay tomorrow or Andy Frisella in a week or two? How am I going to do these things so that it's the most appealing to you? It's not easy. That coupled with the fact of having come up with topics that are consistent and relevant and spin them into things that matter for you guys and that have mattered for me. I make it sound fun and easy because it comes very naturally to me, but the realistic facts of this situation are fucking hard. One out every five days now I sit down at the microphone here and I have to look at Doug or Kurt or one of the guys in the office and say, what should I talk about today? They give me a topic, and I just go, because I can make a topic relevant to life. I can tell a real story based off what happened. It's just not always easy. Same thing. You should stop saying the word wish. Like, I wish I could go do that. Why the fuck can't you? I wish I could go live in California.

I wish (09:27)

Then go. But Ryan, I have kids. I can't make it. So your kids can't move too? Like, we're genetically predisposed to be transient. We as a society in this group didn't stay in one place. We would walk around hunting food. And if you're a vegetarian and you don't think we ate meat based off the size and shape of our teeth, then you still had to walk around and hunt fruits and berries. Because eventually the food supply in your local area was diminished. So you can't really just magically wish that you could be somewhere. You have to take action behind it. That's crazy. Most of these things that we talk about or that I talk about that we need to eliminate from our vocabulary, stop using these words, are all words that are replaced by action. If you eliminate indecision and you replace it with immediate and swift action and then follow through with consistent action until the results are achieved, you'll find better success. But we have all these words and terms to justify away what we didn't achieve. I wish I could do that. Someday maybe I'll get around to. Man, I had this problem that wouldn't let me. I should give this a shot someday. I'll try to make it there. Like think of how many times in your life, maybe even in the past fucking week, you've said these words. And I'm not holier than thou. I'm sure I've said these words. But now it's a conscious decision day over day to replace my vernacular with something that puts me in power. That I'm not going to try to do something, I'm in the process of doing it. I currently cannot run a six-minute mile. I'm nowhere close. That sounds remarkably fast to me carrying around 265 or 270 pounds. But I could say I'm in the process of getting there right now. Every day I'm taking a step closer to that goal. Now admittedly I'm not training for a six-minute mile, but if I put myself under stress long enough and I keep running 10 and nine-minute miles, eventually I can shave enough time off to run a six-minute mile, my body just might not look the same anymore. Like everything you want is just on the other side of try it's on the side of action and action is really not that hard to go with you just have to take the step and the step's not always easy and most of the time it's not fun but you have to go coming back full circle to this podcast, I talked about this podcast and brought this up and spoke about it ever since October of last year. We had the office built, the soundproof room, which isn't completely soundproof, but close enough.

Coming back (11:58)

We had this built at the end of January. We didn't really start recording our first episodes until March. That's how much time it took me to get out of my own fucking way and actually just start going and I talk about this stuff all the time I live this way but in my own life I'm not justifying mediocrity I'm sharing with you guys that we're all human and just because I made a decision that took a long time six months ago doesn't mean I have to do that again today it's a choice to now take action and not occasional action daily action a good friend of mine gives me a hard time because of how consistently regimented my day seems to be get up at about the same time do the same stuff in the morning show up at the office about the same time podcast or record at the same time. Things become consistent.

Consistency (12:42)

Because with that consistency, as long as I'm expanding on both sides, with that consistency, as long as I'm expanding on both sides, life gets easier. There becomes more expansion. There becomes more power.

Focus & Attentiveness

Focus (13:20)

There becomes more focus. Because I'm able to stop saying all the self-defeating words that have been embedded in my head from as long as I can remember. Back to my father not being good enough, saying that I should try harder. Back to my mother saying she was done raising me. The fact that I should try to be everything that my father wasn't. There's all these tries and should'ves. You know, I had a conversation with my mother around Christmas. I should have done things differently when you were younger. Yeah, you're damn right you should've. But here we are. I can't beat you over the head about that forever. I can't hold onto that anger forever about that forever. I can't hold on to that anger forever. Those are things that happened back then. What we need to do is focus on growth and expansion now because I can't go back and fuck with the should'ves. They're gone. It's really wild when you start to shift your perspective on how you view daily words that come out of your mouth. Because through those words, there's different mindsets that will shift. You'll see pretty quickly that the things that you do and the words that come out of your mouth. Because through those words, there's different mindsets that will shift. You'll see pretty quickly that the things that you do and the words that you speak become different, become more focused, become more pointed on the goals you wish to achieve. It's also one of the reasons why I start out every morning not only doing my core four, but writing down things that I'm truly grateful for about myself and that I love about myself.


Conclusion (14:36)

Because it puts me in a whole different mindset. I know what I'm going to achieve. I know how I feel. I know the wins I'm going to conquer that day. And sure, there's going to be curveballs. There always are. Life is a curveball. But when you're prepared and you stop self-defeating and you stay away from these words you shouldn't be saying, it's way easier to hit the curveball. Or at least not be afraid to swing at it. So after this very unique back and forth twisting and turning road of an episode that I just knew I had to get some stuff out about words that have created self-doubt in me that are now eliminated, I want to encourage all you guys to just try to take stock. Make a note in your phone of every time you say the word try, like I just did. I'm staring across the table and Doug is literally laughing because I said try. Fuck you guys. Take out your phone. Make a note in your note section. Every time you say the word try, should, wish, and start counting. When you become aware of the situation, you can then make an alteration to it. When you make an alteration to it, you can take steps forward to increase your power and your productivity and ultimately expand. And you'll find very quickly that if you're able to expand on a day-over-day basis, you end up getting shit done. Hey guys, Ryan here. Thanks for joining me today. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please head over to iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you consume audio and subscribe to 15 Minutes to Freedom. If this brought you value, please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to RyanNidell.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L.com.

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