Episode 76: Don't Be Water - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 76: Don't Be Water - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host, Ryan Neidell, and today's episode is Don't Be Water. So I have a confession to make right now on air. This confession isn't going to be earth-shattering to some of you. Most of you, admittedly, may not even care. But I do. See, Lindsay and I have been recording podcasts together now for a multitude of different weeks. We should be, for all intents and purposes, on week five, I believe, with the number of podcasts we've recorded. However, we're not on week five. We're still struggling to get week two done. And we're struggling to get week two done because we have turned into water. And let me explain what I mean. See, part of recording these podcasts is sharing an unbridled, unfiltered truth. The truth of my life is not always fucking convenient. It impacts people. My truth is just that it's mine. It's things that I've done that I am not necessarily proud of that I have to take action on and have taken action on to change my outcome. I shared the lies, the cheating, the infidelity, the repossessions, the failed businesses, the list goes on and on. This is episode number 76 as I record it. So for the better part of two and a half months, I have shared day by day my own little life lessons. And the neat part about sharing a life lesson is it's just that. It's my life's lesson. It can't be your life lesson. It can't be Lindsay's life lesson. It can't be my friend's life lesson or you guys that are listening. It is only mine. But there's a part of this that some of you connect with. The loyal listeners, the 8,000 to 10,000 people a day that download the episodes, you listen. It connects. It means something to you. I get now 100-plus messages a day, most days, not every day, but most days, sharing the impact from this podcast. Now, I say this in a manner of the fact that I know that at least some of you listening, some of you that download this, some of you that consume the content, you actually enjoy it. But I also know on the opposite side of that, that there's a subset of individuals that are so disheartened in their life, that dislike themselves so much, that are so miserable in their day-to-day actions, that they download this podcast to try to figure out a way to tear it apart. To pick apart the pieces of my life that you don't enjoy. To share the pieces of what I'm doing that you don't agree with. To spin the little webs and the weaves of the things that don't make you feel comfortable. Well, I've got news for you specifically. Life is not fucking comfortable. If you think for one moment that you can go through your entire life and never have conflict, never make a mistake, never have an error in your life, you're sadly mistaken. Many of these same people listening right now would probably say, no, that's not true. I haven't done any crazy shit you've done. Good for you. I bet you haven't. But I also bet you've numbed yourself into sedation of turning a blind eye to the fact of really where you're at in your life. You've created a false reality and a false edict that you're living your life by. I would bet more times than not there's a good probability from those that I know in life, there's a good probability that those same individuals are the ones that aren't being faithful, aren't telling the truth, talk about people behind their back. Don't look to expand every day. The list goes on and on. And in this moment of today, I have to look at myself as one of those people, and it frustrates me. I look at myself as one of these people because as Lindsay and I have recorded these podcasts, the first episode that launched, we got mixed reviews on. We shared many pieces of our lives that are uncomfortable truths. In the first six months of our relationship, I'm not proud of the way that I conducted myself in relation to growing and fostering a relationship with Lindsay. If you're not sure what that is, go back and listen to episode 54. What essentially had happened was the fact that I met Lindsay and was not faithful. I was dating another woman when I met Lindsay. Didn't break it off. Got confronted. Had a chance to break it off. Still didn't fully do the right thing. And let it continue for another month or two. That was my reality. So I shared that. I also shared the fact of how Lindsay and I first met each other. First became intimate. Maybe to some and too graphic of a detail. For me it's how I live my life. I share the pieces and parts that I believe are relevant because if you can gain something from what I have done, and I can say words that stick in your cerebral cortex, in the part of your mind that allows you to retain information, there's a chance you won't have to make the same dumbass fucking mistakes that I made. There's also a chance you'll think I'm an idiot.

Meaningful Discussions On Authenticity

Podcast 1 Review (05:48)

I really don't care about that second one. So in this, I share these lessons. I share this first six months of our relationship, and we get these crazy responses. Everything from, this is incredible, it's so powerful, it's so impactful, how did you do it? My boyfriend and I or my girlfriend and I are going through these tough situations. Would you hop on the phone and help us? You're damn right I will. That's what this is all about. But there's also another set of people that just want to attack. That just want to attack. And in that attack, we feel, Lindsay and I spend time understanding that message. Because both the good and the bad have validity. I can't assess and only accept the positive if I'm not willing to listen to the negative. I'm not so myopic in my thought process that I don't believe there's a good and a bad to every situation. And so here again, I'm becoming water. And I'll explain. You see, water, if you were to pour it on a table, it's going to find the lowest spot. It's going to kind of trickle around. It's not really going to do anything. If you run water over a series of rocks, it will eventually find its way down to the soil and disappear. And sure, I know for some of you geological fans out there, if you pour enough water over a long enough period of time, eventually you'll erode rocks. Like, I get all the metaphors that can be set upon this. But across the board, water would be deemed as weak. It has no backbone. It has no spine. Water just goes where it needs to go and fills in the holes as it needs to and eventually disappears. That is what I have done. You see, Lindsay and I recorded an episode that to me is truly fire. It's a phenomenal episode. to me is truly fire. It's a phenomenal episode. It goes into communication and the pros and the cons around communication, and it ties into both her and I's previous relationships. Admittedly, this hour and 15 minute journey that ends up being pretty aggressive towards our past relationships because it was therapeutic for us in the moment. Inevitably, the attacks that we were making on our past partners were unresolved issues that we had inside of ourselves. It's not something to say, these were bad people. I don't believe that either her or I dated or were married to bad people. I believe there's lessons to be learned from everything, But what I do believe is the fact that that message should be heard. But now, as we've had negative feedback as a couple about our first episode, and we've already recorded two additional episodes, and we're sitting down and the next one's about to air, it was entitled, Speak Motherfucker. That was the episode, an episode you're never going to hear. You're never going to hear it because we ran it through the filter. We now have to fear the judgment and the ramifications of those that were involved in the podcast from a secondary point of view that aren't here to defend themselves. Ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends. Ex-relationships, ex-partners, whatever you want to call them. We now are watering down the message from that episode where we came in the podcast booth today and tried to re-record that same message.

Reshoot (09:09)

We leave and I feel like I've been hit with a sack of potatoes. Like the episode's fucking boring. It was called Communication. The message is good, but there's no energy. It doesn't sound like me. It's the first episode I leave. I'm like, man, that just sucked. I don't want to air that. So I'm thinking maybe I'm just being too critical on myself because we've had to reshoot an episode. It's the only time in my life I've ever reshot one of these episodes. I have never done a second take. So I try to shake it off. I walk out in the main part of the office. It's a little cooler out there. I grab some water, come back in, waiting for some positive feedback from the team. I don't get it. Walk in and it's like a morgue. What the fuck is going on, guys? Well, that episode was flat. It kind of sucked. Like, damn it. I knew it sucked. I knew it did because it's not passionate because I'm watering down who I am. I am turning into water. I'm not honoring what I know this is all about. Sharing the unbridled truth of my life. And for those of you that will eventually be affected by this, that may be listening in that don't want me to say something bad about you, you will have to eventually take the same path that I took, and you will have to face your own music. Now, this podcast is never meant to call people out on the carpet. I can really give two shits about that. This is calling myself out on the carpet for the decisions I've made in my life. But through those decisions, I'm able to take action on a day-over-day basis and never repeat those same issues. What's unique is most of the judgmental people, they repeat their same negative feedback loop issues day over day over day. And now those things eventually affect Lindsay and I. They've watered down the message. So I laughingly say, as Lindsay leaves to the guys in the office and her, So I laughingly say, as Lindsay leaves to the guys in the office and her, I've now wasted three hours of my life trying to record a podcast that I should have never had to do that. The first hour and a half of the first episode that you're never going to hear, and now another hour or so of another episode you're never going to hear because it sucked. It's just not a good episode. I don't need filler content. It wasn't authentic. It wasn't original. It wasn't original. It wasn't organic. It was forced. It was laborious. It was shit. And so I don't want to be water. I don't ever want to feel this feeling again. And I'm in control of this part of my life. I controlled this podcast. We all have pieces of our life that we control. I control what I say on the microphone. I control what goes out. I control how it goes out and the time it goes out and the images that go out with it. I control that part. And that's a lot of I's. I don't normally say the word I because it's not really me. I have a team of phenomenal guys around me that put together the video and make the audio sound clean and come up with all the snippets and post it to Libsyn and share it to iTunes. And it's somebody else that does that work but ultimately the very base of this my words start the process so it's mine and on a go forward basis i can't ever go back to this water feeling because it's disempowering it's a feeling that I'm too familiar with from the past 15 years of my life of just being a weak ass motherfucker. Of someone that had no backbone, of someone that waffled between what's right and what's wrong. That was me. Like I know what's right. If someone's an asshole and I say, I'm sorry, you're an asshole. I don't really mean I'm sorry. I just mean you're an asshole. It's that phrasing in the front side that waters down everything. So there's going to be more episodes. Like I said, this is episode 76, give or take. And there'll be hundreds more. This isn't something that's just going to stop. Because I truly believe there's a lesson that comes into my life every day that I can share. Some are massive and some are small. This feels like a monumental, fucking impactful message for me. That every day I have the choice, just as you do, to have a backbone or don't have a backbone. To stand up for what you believe is right or to succumb to the social pressures of the confines that exist that you have created for yourself. And you might not believe you created them for yourself, but your family, you can't choose them, but you can choose if they impact you.

Softening the message to appease others (13:26)

Your friends, you can choose as a whole and you can choose how they impact you. You can choose these people if they fit or they don't fit. And when they stop fitting, it's your moral responsibility for yourself to take action to tell them they don't fit. The fallout is not pleasant, as I stand fairly alone most of the time. But I don't care anymore, because it feels right for the first time in my life. These podcasts and sharing this message is the first time I can ever remember saying, like, I'm doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing at the exact right time in the exact right manner, saying the exact right words. I never second guess what comes out of one of these things. Ever. And I'm never going to again because the feeling of negativity surrounding it is outweighed by the knowing that I'm doing the thing that I'm supposed to be doing in my soul. It's crazy. This whole thing is crazy to me. It's crazy that I allow someone else to influence me and what I share with the world. If other people weren't who they are, and I won't name names because it's going to water this message down, but if it's you listening right now and you're too fucking weak to call me, my phone number is 419-631-1270.

Living an Authentic Life (14:46)

If you don't like this, reach out to me. I'm good with having a conversation. Because unlike most people, I can assume both sides of a conversation. I can listen to the pros and cons and try to expand my mind. I'm not so closed-minded and myopic to realize that there could be better ways to operate than how I operate. But what I will never do again is water down my message of who I am and what I stand for based off circumstantial situations.

Critical Thinking

Not getting caught (15:21)

So you in your life right now, where are you watering down who you are and what you stand for? Is it at work when you see somebody coming in and coming out as they please? Not punching the clock the right way? Milking the company for additional hours they're not working? You don't want to tell a manager because you don't want to ruffle any feathers. You don't want to be the stool pigeon. You don't want to be the one that is the tattletale. But you know in your heart it's right that someone shouldn't steal. So the minute you don't go do what's right, you're just as bad. You might as well be stealing too. Maybe it's in the gym and you're cheating yourself that you walk in and you have a workout that you plan on doing. When you don't have a workout partner with you, you're just there by yourself. You're hustling, you're grinding, you're doing whatever adjectives you need, whatever verbs you want to say to call your workout. And you're supposed to do five sets of 10 reps on the bench. And you get to set five and you stop at five reps. You're halfway home. But nobody's there to see it happen. So it doesn't count in your mind. I will encourage you to consider the fact that is eroding the very soul that you have inside of you. Because how you start to do that one thing is how you eventually do everything. If you can't do it in the presence of yourself, you sure as shit can't do it in the presence of others. Or potentially, the area that this resigns and touches you is in your relationship. Maybe you're afraid to death, like I used to be, of having tough conversations with someone that you know you need to sit down with and say, We don't see eye to eye. Let's work it out or part ways. Maybe that's a friend of yours. Maybe that's your partner in a relationship. Maybe it's a stranger that you bump into every day. This does not mean to attack that person. This means to own your feelings in the moment. Don't be weak about them. Understand if there's a comparable or opposing viewpoint that can expand your mind. And if there's not, agree to disagree in part ways. Because everybody's not on the path you're on. They're not supposed to be. If you're willing to take these actionable steps day over day, and focus on internal growth, and stay true to what you know is right, I will guarantee you that every day you will get shit done. If this brought you value, please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to RyanNidell.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L dot com.

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