Episode 98: Ryan and Lindsay - The Force Of Average - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Episode 98: Ryan and Lindsay - The Force Of Average - 15 Minutes To Freedom Podcast".


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Intro (00:00)

This is 15 Minutes to Freedom. I'm your host Ryan Neidell and today's episode is The Force of Average. So today's episode is my weekly favorite episode where I have my beautiful wife sitting across from me in the studio. It's your favorite and it's your best episode, is it not? I suppose that could be debatable, but I'll say that it's true. That's right. I mean, it's my favorite. I don't know if it's my best. It's the best for the listener because you're here. I mean, nobody wants to hear my voice all the time. You have a nice voice, though. And I have a face for radio as well, so it works out perfectly. Yeah, that's right. So the force of average is a concept that a friend, an acquaintance, whatever you'd like to call them, a mind Ryan Stumann brought up at an event, Meltdown in the Desert, that I was at with Lindsay a few weeks ago where I had the opportunity to speak. And it's playing itself out more and more every day in our lives. And admittedly, as we started this episode, Lindsay has no idea really where this is going. No. And this happens to me every week. We sit down at the table. I come in, usually from dropping Gianna off somewhere, rush in here. We sit down. Hi, honey, how are you? What are we talking about today? And about 15 seconds before our wonderful producer Doug says we're live, Ryan throws out a subject. And so today he said the subject line. And I said, well, what does that mean? Like, where are we spinning off of that? So admittedly, I'm sitting here. We're just totally winging it. See, I don't totally wing anything. So this is easy for me because everything comes right from the heart. So as it does with Lindsay, but I guess I know where I'm guiding the conversation. So the force of average is this concept where those that are around you operate in this vortex that want to bring you down and keep you at an average level. Where it becomes very unique and very difficult for people to understand the concept of expansion and people wanting more. So Ryan Steumann at this Meltdown in the Desert event, Colby Cabayes put it on, brought this up from his 25 or 30 minutes on stage. Colby Cabayas put it on, brought this up from his 25 or 30 minutes on stage. And the fact that he was a drug dealer and had had all these crazy things happen and went to jail and just nonsensical things. And the way he got out, the people that he used to associate with couldn't see him for something new. They all looked at him like, this is just who this guy is always going to be. We're going to keep trying to, whether consciously or subconsciously, we're going to keep grabbing him by the back of the shirt and almost trying to rip him down to this basic level that we've been sitting at.

Personal Growth And Understanding

Force of Average (02:24)

Yeah, people like to keep someone in a box and they've built this box for you and that's how they view you. And when you start to break down the walls of that box, they don't really know what to do. That is exactly right. And that force of average is something that we as a couple have started to experience more and more. Oh, it's constant now, especially since we started doing our couples podcast and more of our story has come out. I think people closest to us may have known how we started, may not. Certainly didn't know about some of the other intricacies of our relationship and how we've grown. And now that those things are out there, people feel the need to comment. And by people, I mean people that are close to us. Of course. And some of these, I didn't know it was called the force of average, but I have felt for quite some time that if someone is not on the path that I'm on anymore, that doesn't mean that they're right or that I'm wrong or vice versa. It simply means that at this moment in time, we can't remain close like we used to be, because I know the path that I'm walking down, the path that I'm guiding the family down, the path that we're all walking down hand in hand is a path that is coming from an authentic and organic place in my heart.

Force of Average causes Philippians (03:16)

So it has to be right. Now, that doesn't mean that the people that were in my life are bad people. That doesn't mean that they don't aspire to have more just means that they don't fit right now And that's okay and that happens and i'm experiencing that more personally And we are as a couple. Yes, and so it's happening more and more where it was not difficult for me to start cutting out Dead weight's a bad term because that would mean that there's something wrong with those people Just cutting out people that didn't have the same goals and ambitions that I had. I realize that my goals and ambitions and the way I live my life are very lofty. To the average person, getting up at 4.30 and doing all this crazy shit before the day starts and then going full speed and then coming home and being fully connected to the family and not drinking and not cheating and not entertaining other women and not searching for something else. It's very foreign to some people. Oh, yeah. And that's okay. My life isn't for everybody. Our life isn't for everybody. No, but the beginning of that sentence is the key there. It's our life. And what we're finding, yes, is what we're finding as a couple more and more is the feedback that we're getting from people that are or were close to us is this unique concept that we should care what other people think. That somehow the way that we operate on a day-over-day basis should be dictated and predicated by what other people that aren't in our life, that don't live in our four walls, what they think about us. It's going back to the box.

The past is just that - the past (05:06)

They want to keep us in the box that they built for us and how they think we should live. And we don't really play that way. Our box is much bigger than those four walls that they have decided would be appropriate. It is now. It is. So I have no problem saying what I was. You know, I was a was. I was a liar. I was a cheater. I was someone that searched for external validation from either bodybuilding or attention from people or material possessions. That's who I was. We've been together now for four and a half years. And I'll say that really probably part of that encompasses the first six months of our relationship. But some of those limiting thoughts and beliefs probably carried on for a year, year and a half. Not the cheating and all those things, but you start talking about the anabolics and you start talking about the material possessions are the only thing that dictate your worth. And that is how I thought. Like, I thought it mattered what watch I had on my wrist when I showed up to dinner with our friends. Well, because I was insecure as shit. Like I thought that that mattered. And I still have drawers full of nice watches that I'm sitting in the studio. I don't, I don't have a watch on at all. And I do, which is very rare. I never have a watch on. It is, but I'm realizing, and we are realizing as a couple that our path is our own. It's not someone else's. And there's nothing wrong with liking, enjoying, and having nice things. I'm not down talking or downplaying that at all. If you work hard for nice things and you can afford them, I think you should have them. Sure. But that doesn't dictate the quality of worth of an individual. It's just a thing. It's just something that comes along for the ride. Correct. But a lot of people put weight on those things. It's the show off for other people and it makes you feel good or validates something that you're insecure about. But most people cannot reflect inward to figure out what those insecurities are and why you're wearing the very nice watch and why you need people to see you in it. What's the base reason for that? Well, absolutely. And it took me years to start to peel back the onion for myself, but also that focused work day over day of realizing that I wanted something bigger than judging my worth based off a watch or a car or a suit or a business title or a level of success by a house or a vacation. Like there's all these things that just don't matter. Like I'm a better man right now. I'm a better family man. I'm a better person. How I live my life today, not really caring about any of those things than I ever could have been three and a half or four years ago. 100% correct, honey. Where I go full speed all day long, but in that full speed going, like I go hard for my family. I never, today I got a little consumed, so I don't know that I've sent it yet, but I never leave the house without a letter of appreciation or a note to you and Gianna. It doesn't, there's never a day, like we don't end the day. Sometimes it's sporadic, but you and I always exchange some kind of words of appreciation back and forth to each other.

Where I go full speed (08:02)

And a day does not pass where that doesn't happen. Correct. And when I come home at night from whatever has went on at work, no matter how busy it is, no matter how late it is, that last 30 or 45 minutes I get with you and Gianna and then the additional 45 minutes that you and I get together, our time now that we bond as a family, where the phone isn't in my hand, where it's not, what can you guys do for me where it's present? Like last night, I'm sitting there going back and forth playing typing games with Gianna and trying to beat her score, you know, in the third grade proficiency test on learning how to type. Like we're sitting at the dinner table and that's our evening. She goes out and plays until 8.15 or 8.30. She comes back. I want to know what she's doing. We're playing this typing game. She gets ready for bed. She goes up to bed. Lindsay and I say goodnight to her. Then Lindsay and I get 45 minutes of our own time to just cuddle and talk and unwind for the day and just be present with each other. Like there's no phones in our hand. No, we usually get rid of all that stuff and just kind of decompress. And sometimes we say nothing and watch TV. And sometimes we just talk for the 45 minutes. And, you know, but whatever it is, it's our own time to just kind of reconnect from the day. Absolutely. But that, that force of average causes people that we know to still look at me for the things that I was, or to judge our relationship based off what we used to be.

The force of average (09:14)

Yeah. So really the point is, and I'll just shoot straight it or straight shoot it here because I'm just, I'm, I'm sick of the nonsense I had. I was approached this week by somebody that has been in my life for a very long time and somebody that I am forced to be close with now. And if you can read between the lines on that, you'll figure it out for yourself. But somebody that has a problem still with who Ryan was and the problem is is that they are so consumed with judging him on who he used to be that they are not focused on understanding who he is now and so that person unfortunately is stuck and we're in a position where you know Ryan is continually judged for his actions in the past that has nothing to do with his present. And then I, of course, am judged by staying with the cheater and the liar and the guy who used anabolics and he's going to just cheat and lie. And, you know, he's an addict of anabolics and just crazy nonsense stuff. And instead of having a conversation with Ryan to address issues with him, this person comes at me with this. Like I'm going to be able to fix it or answer. But the problem is that there's no understanding of who you are now, which means that he still puts you in this box and has no personal growth of his own, which is super sad. Yes, but to me this conversation is not limited to any one person. I mean, I can- No, but that's just present in my life because that happened to me three days ago. Sure, absolutely, but we can go down now two, three, four groups of friends that you have that are lifelong friends of yours that we now no longer communicate with based off of personal insecurities and I'm attacking the fact that I'm a cheater, that that's who I am. Yeah. Yes, I fucking own it. I cheated, I am not proud of it. It's not something I'm pounding my chest and like, that that's who I am. Yes, I fucking own it. I cheated. I'm not proud of it. It's not something I'm pounding my chest and like, rah, rah, I cheated. Like that is who I was. That was decisions that I made that were piss poor. Like I can't go back and magically change what happened four and a half years ago. No.

R#2 You But Why Would I Choose This? (11:16)

And the funny thing is it doesn't affect our life as a couple now. And it hasn't for years. It's not been anything that has been a subject in our life or that we've even thought about for many, many years now. The problem is, is that now that you and I both, but you specifically, because your platform has been your podcast, have been out there and honest and saying, look, like I've done this stuff. Here is who I used to be. And here's who I am now. And these are the steps I've taken to grow and to change as a human. Those people now just keep reverting back to the old lies and the old ways because they still currently live that way. Right. But that's a force of average that this whole episode is about is the force of average that you have people that aren't on the same path in your life like we all do. And when they're not on the same path you're on, again, it's not that they're bad people. It's not that they should be condemned. It's not that they need to be on my path or our path as a couple. It's just a sheer fact that their life and the way that they operate, they're consumed by what they're consumed with. And that consumption for most people, when I look back, ends up feeling very average to me, where if I look back at their life from a judgmental standpoint, which I'm not necessarily proud of, but that's just what this is. If I'm to judge or look at their life from the outside, they have the same mindset, the same thought processes, are doing the exact same thing, have the same habits they had four years ago. Their life has not changed. And that can be fine because maybe they don't want to change or maybe they think their life is the best it can possibly be with what they were doing back then. Right. And good for them. Absolutely. But my life and then our life as a family has changed tenfold. Like I oftentimes say it, the man I was a year ago is unrecognizable to the man I am today. Yeah. And admittedly, the man I was six months ago is unrecognizable to the man I am today. But in saying that, I'll be damned if a year from now that man is unrecognizable to the man that I am today. Yes. Like I'm on this consistent path of expansion and growth and knowledge because it makes me really happy. And what makes me even happier is the fact that our family does that, where Gianna wants to learn more and is always trying to grow and think more openly. And Lindsay is now on the path of reading and meditating and expanding. And not because I'm forcing it upon them, not because I'm saying, you got to do this. I've been putting in the work every day for more than a year. And I'm going to guess, and I'll let you explain it for yourself. But when you see somebody that you love and care about, that has had bad decisions and bad choices before, that gets super excited about a new opportunity, that always thinks the next best thing is going to be the next best thing. But when you see that person being me, put in the work consistently, not alter from that path, keep growing and really become a better version of the man I used to be. Yeah. How can you not want to do that for yourself? And it's no different than anything else you watch somebody do, right? You know, take the gym, for example, you see somebody that is going to the gym every day and they're, you know, consistent with their workouts. They're consistent with their eatings. They've cut out alcohol or whatever their vice had been, and their body starts to change. And you don't see them for a couple of months and then you see them and you know that they've been putting in this work and you're like, oh my gosh, you look fantastic. Like you've lost 15 pounds, you look healthier, like you obviously have tons of energy, good for you. It's no different than the stuff that you have been doing, you know, getting up every morning, being committed to yourself, getting up every morning, being committed to yourself, holding space for yourself, which was a huge issue for you that now you're doing. I'm seeing that I can do those things for me too. Cause as a mother and as a woman, we get consumed with all the things that we have to do for the family. Like we feel like our job is to take care of all of it and you don't really hold space for yourself as a wife and a mother. And so seeing you do that, I was like, okay, well, I can, I can do those things to reading and meditating and journaling. I probably have not been as consistent as you have for the past year. But those are things that over the past six months, I've picked up consistently, and then I feel different myself. And it's like, this is great. Why. Why would I choose not to do this? Because I'm learning something new every day. Regardless if I pick up a book or not, at least taking that 10 minutes in the morning to reflect on the previous day and meditate and say, you know, what is it that I've learned from yesterday that I can apply to today? And if you consistently do that, then you're always developing as a person, reading books or going to seminars or whatever.

Six Months Ago, Everything Changed (15:21)

But there's something during the day that you can learn from. And when you see your partner doing that, it encourages me to be a better person for you and for me. Well, absolutely. What's ironic about the entire situation is most of the time, at least in the groups I'm a part of or in the mentorship programs I'm a part of, or guys have even reached out to me, it's easy to want to change because of an external factor. Like it's easy to change because, oh, you know, for me, I need to, I need to not cheat again. I need to not lie again because Lindsay's a phenomenal woman. So I need to make sure to honor her. And yes, that plays a role. That's part of it. Sure. But really the true change and the true shift came when I stopped giving a shit about anybody else. Like I have to do it for me. Like the things that I do every day are not for anybody else.

Staying true to yourself (16:10)

Oddly enough, even this podcast, as much as I love the feedback and the comment that we get on our episodes and every episode across the board, it was never for everybody. And it's still not. Yeah. And we've had that conversation when you decided you were going to do this podcast and you told me about those things. You just said, I feel that I need to do this for me. I don't know if anybody's going to listen. I don't know if they're going to like it, but it's something that I need to do for me. And look what it's turned into. Well, absolutely. Because all these things end up being something that breaks this force of average in our lives. Because the average mindset, in my opinion, is one that is limited. It's one that, okay, the average mindset says you have to go get a job at a traditional place, work 40 years, and then retire with 40% of your income, have two kids, have debt, have all these things, live a good, modest life. That's an average mindset. And there's nothing wrong. Don't take average as a negative term, but that is a path to go on. It just happens to be the path that our family is not on. No. And it doesn't make us happy. I mean, you have to do, personally, everybody has to do what makes them happy. The problem becomes when you start pushing your judgment and your opinions onto somebody else's path. It doesn't belong there. It's not your path. Absolutely. I fully realize I don't have a quote unquote traditional job. Like when I have, you know, marketing campaigns that I'm running or the CBD company that I own or the marketing training that I now offer for people or the mentorship or the coaching programs or things like that, like it's it's obscure.

Traditional Jobs (17:25)

It's not I don't clock in somewhere. I'm not a doctor or a lawyer or a dentist. I don't run a fortune 500 company where I go into work at eight and leave at five. Those things combined are purgatory to me. Like that's just not you torture to me. And some people love it. Some people want to go in and, and, you know, work their nine to five job and it makes them super happy and that's what their life is. And that's okay. Yeah. Just from where we sit, that's that force of average trying to drag us back in. And there was a time not that long ago, and we covered it in, I believe the last episode where our monetary situation, we didn't have six figures left in the bank. Like we didn't have abundance coming in. And it's this panic mode of a second of like, look, we're spending money. Ryan, I think you need to go back and get a job like a true J-O-B, like go to a car dealership, go run a car dealership. Like I need the consistent income. Yeah, because that was the time one of the local car dealerships approached you and said, we'd like you to run the store. Yeah, absolutely. And I was like, huh, maybe you should do that. Yeah, it was super enticing to her. And I thought about it. Like I gave a due diligence and sat down and spoke to the owners of the dealership and the owners of, you know, the people I respect in that industry. And you love the car business. So I was like, okay, this would be nice for you. Truly love it. But realizing had I went down that path and had I said yes to that, now all of a sudden this podcast doesn't exist. I don't get to impact a couple hundred thousand people's lives. I don't end up writing a book. I don't end up feeling complete every day. And not only that, but that average thing creeps back in where now I'm working from nine until nine, at least five days a week, probably six. I'm not really home. But to the outside world, that makes sense. Like that's that's that average thing of like, right. You have the quote unquote real job. Yeah, that's a job now. Right. Like but that that's not for me and that's not for us. Like we've come to that understanding. And now I feel like, without putting words in your mouth, but a little bit, you're starting to understand that this universal connection or the spirituality that I have or the voice that I listen to or intuition or God or whatever it is that you believe in is guiding me in the right path. It's guiding us in the right path. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Our growth as a family unit, because we've not stuck to the average path has been tremendous. And we are happier people, all three of us, than we were six months ago. And six months from now, it'll be the same thing. And so you have in our lives, Lindsay and I's lives together, there's just all these forces of average that are always kind of nipping at our heels. Like you should do this. You should do that. We don't understand why you're doing things this way. Like this isn't the way that we view the world. Why are you sharing these things? There's all these whys and these questions. And that's normal. Those of you that are on your own path of spiritual awakening or just wanting more for your life, it's going to make a bunch of people super uncomfortable. And that has been a slow realization for me, especially because in my personal circle, I've had a lot of pushback from things like that because I was in the traditional career minded role, right? I worked in the medical field. I had the nine to five plus on call and weekends and like crazy stuff. But I had the medical field. I had the nine to five plus on call and weekends and like crazy stuff. But I had the traditional job. And, you know, I was married to somebody who had the traditional job. And so that box was very easy to fit into. But I've just realized that as you are on this path of growth or as I am, we are as a family that, you know, people are going to kind of fall off that path when they don't agree. And that's OK. I just have to make sure that I realize that we continue to do what's right for us. People are going to kind of fall off that path when they don't agree, and that's okay. I just have to make sure that I realize that we continue to do what's right for us and not worry about what other people think. I hear what they have to say. I take what I can apply to my life or things that, oh, that's a good point. Great. And I throw the rest out because the rest doesn't matter. At the end of the day, it's you, me, and G. And if we are happy as a family unit, awesome. Well, absolutely. And that's another part of this force of average is we're always willing to listen to an external opinion. Like I will sit down and analyze and have conversation. I mean, your parents, I believe we've shared this before, but after one of our episodes, they had some questions about why we talk the way we talk and what we share and how we share it. And it was, they wanted to have a conversation with us. So we went over to their house, sat down, had what felt like a very impactful, meaningful conversation. Absolutely. We didn't necessarily agree on every talking point, but it was enough to shift the way that we speak on on our episodes and just the way that I speak overall. And it was enough to awaken me to some points of life that I didn't realize to be present. Yeah.

Filtering the truth (22:04)

Which is great. And that can be applied to anything. You know, if somebody has some advice and feedback, awesome. I want to hear it. I want to know what that is. Open and honesty is how we kind of live our life. So who am I to say, no, I don't want to hear your opinion or no, I don't think that's right. Because that's that's BS. That's telling somebody else that their thoughts and opinions aren't valid. Once they put it out there, I can receive it. And what I do with it is my choice. It doesn't mean I have to listen to them. It doesn't mean I have to apply it. But I can take what serves me as a person and what I can apply to my life that I think is valuable and throw the rest away. Well, absolutely. We can choose. Essentially, what you're saying is we can choose or you can choose how the force of average adds value and benefit in your life, not just detracts from your life. Because it's not all or nothing in this situation. Again, I'm open-minded. We're both open-minded. That's part of this expansion journey that we're on together is understanding that we only know what we've been exposed to this far in life. And I can't see every opportunity, nor can you from every angle. Everybody is a combination and culmination of the life events they've went through up until that moment. So I fully understand from where I sit, if you knew me four years ago or five years ago, and that was the last time you truly thought you knew me. Oh yeah. They're still going to think you're a complete douchebag. Absolutely. It would be impossible for you to have any concept of really who I am right now. And unless you're willing to drop that wall down a little bit and get to know me in some capacity for who I am, I don't blame you for looking at me through, you know, some squinty eyes like, absolutely, he's just going to cheat on you. He's just going to do all this crazy stuff. It's like, and even when I look back at the videos of when we started this podcast in late March, and I look at my physical physique, like how puffy my face was, I was still off of anabolics. I'm like, I wasn't using anything then, but just the way I was treating my body and the fuel I was putting into it. And not that I wasn't eating well, it just, I figured out how to live more efficiently, you know, to be healthier. And so I've peeled away all the layers of anabolics and I've peeled away all these things. And I spend, as I've shared before, you're very supportive. I mean, I go to the gym and I box from 7.15 to 8.15 and then I go to lifetime fitness and train full body muscular training from typically 8.30 to 9.30. Like I spend two full hours doing some sort of workout at least five days a week. Certainly six days a week I work out and one day of rest.

Removing the Blinders (24:24)

Which is why you look like you look. I mean, you look fantastic and you are athletic and built and it's not from anabolics because that doesn't exist anymore. It's because you put in the work every day. Well, absolutely. But again, I get that average mindset would say, well, that's what he's always done. That was what defined him for so long. That has to be what's going on now. Like you don't still look like that. News flash to everybody that watches these shows. I used to be 295 pounds. I had accumulated last time I competed in a bodybuilding contest. Granted, it was probably two years ago now, almost two years ago now. I competed and stepped on stage at 263. That's 263 with probably three or 4% body fat, almost no water in my body. So I'm literally carrying at that point, I think from the bod pod I went in, let's just say 240 pounds of lean muscle. Well, even when you stop taking anabolics, even when you stop doing all this nonsense, that muscle doesn't just magically disappear. Yeah. But that's, that's the thinking of closed minded people that think you're going to take a shot of anabolic steroids and then you're going to walk down the stairs and have 50 pounds of muscle on that's it yeah they don't realize that it takes eating and consistency and working out and everything else like people that think that just because you have stopped all of your anabolics that you should be a you know skinny average dude now doesn't realize the amount of work you've put in over the last 12, 15 years to look the way that you do. Right. And the work I continue to put in.

Do You Feel Your Efforts Are Going Unnoticed By Others? (25:25)

And oddly enough, this whole conversation is still more about just that force of average and the way it can draw us back down if we allow it to. It's a conscious decision to decide who gets to borrow mental space from me. It's not always easy to sit down and have a conversation with someone that I would have called a friend for say five or six years, making up a hypothetical person. And you have that conversation, you realize, man, like this person still looks at me this old way. I'm not that person. This person seems to be still the same person. They were operating that same way. They're still kind of, you know, doing some of the stuff that I wouldn't necessarily agree with. So how much of what I take from them am I actually going to apply to my life? Like what is there something here? Is this still that force of average that's trying to get me down so that we're all parallel and even? Like, no, I can't. I can't take that as as the gospel. Like that's not my life anymore. Like nothing wrong with it. It's just not mine. And that story becomes uncomfortable because all of a sudden I look back and truly 100% I care about what I think first. I care about what my heart tells me is right or wrong. Next, I care what Lindsay has to say and how she can view the world. Then down the line, I think about what Gianna is going to think and say. And I don't always do the best job of processing what an eight-year-old's mind could think of what I'm doing or saying sure that's normal me too but after that I don't care right that's where my list stops and you might think that's foreign but if my parents don't necessarily love what I have to say that's okay with me like we can have a difference in opinion I don't I don't have to live through their life. They're living their own life right now.

Entrepreneurial Insights

The Entrepreneurial Path (27:27)

If my old friends or even current friends are like, man, why do you do this? Or because I am, it's not for you still. And so you stack all these things up on top of each other and all of a sudden this force of average becomes something that you control. It no longer controls you, you start to control in.

Darrens New Podcast Episode (27:43)

Where the people that I'm now attracting to my life are these incredible people. So I had a call. You don't know about this. I had a call before our episode today with a guy named Cody Jeffries. Cody is a guy that we met at Meltdown in the Desert. Yeah, absolutely. I know who that is. Super great guy. Just got married. Cody used to be in the church. Literally was like a pastor. Did a whole bunch of crazy stuff in the church, literally was like a pastor, did a whole bunch of crazy stuff in the church. As he went on his own path of expansion, debunked traditional Christianity and what it means to have just one God and you have to go to a church to pray and all these things. He eliminated those things. And over the past two and a half years, he started to create a mentorship group or a coaching program or whatever you want to say, where month over month, he impacts 5,000 people's lives. Wow. How cool is that? He's making multiple six figures every say, where month over month, he impacts 5,000 people's lives. Wow. How cool is that? He's making multiple six figures every month. Humble as can be. Again, we met him a meltdown in the desert. There wasn't anything uniquely fancy about him. There wasn't some crazy watch. He's not throwing $100 bills on the ground. Just a normal, humble guy. Just got married. And I'm sitting there thinking, OK, so a year ago, could I have even had a conversation with this guy without either being jealous or confused or thinking it's not true? And maybe a year ago is not right. Yeah, it pushed you back like 18 months to two years. Absolutely. But now I'm sitting there thinking like, sure, I want him on my show. I want him to talk to you guys. And he's agreed to come on the show and like, look, man, I'll help you any way I can and vice versa. So he is partners with another buddy of ours, Brandon James Duncan on Thrive, their greens product. Which is delicious. Absolutely. And I'm going to help them with some direct response marketing funnels and do some things to help them. But it all comes down to this debunking this force of average, because as we're having this conversation in the car, you know, it's a 35, 40 minute conversation.

Coded Jeffries (29:18)

He's sharing his life story and I'm sharing my life story and they're almost identical. He didn't go down the steroid path. He went down the pro-hormone path. And the pro-hormone path, for those of you who don't know, there was a time period in life, probably mid-2000s, where there were pro-hormones, they were called, that were approved to be sold inside of GMC or Walmart or whatever. There was methyl-1 testosterone and all this other stuff. Well, come to find out, these products were more harmful on your body than actual anabolic steroids because the way they process through your liver and kidneys, like massive side effects. I remember that. But this guy thought it was bad in his mind to take steroids. It thought these things were okay. So he was- Because they're on a shelf at GNC. Absolutely. Right.

Importance Of Self-Belief

Forget Other Peoples Opinions (30:00)

So he's eating them like candy for five years. Oh my. He's essentially taking what we would call Diana ball every day for five years, goes into adrenal fatigue. His organs start to shut down. He loses all the body mass. Like he's almost on his deathbed based off this comes home. I don't want to share his whole story, but comes home as his wife ends up wanting to leave him and she leaves him and go get somebody else. And he's like the shell of a man. And then just starts to decide to listen to his own voice. Isn't that nuts? I've heard that from so many people. Yeah. Just none of this other stuff matters anymore. Like the judgment and the fear and what your family thinks and your friends think and all the people that don't understand, it just stops mattering. Yeah. And I'll tell you when that fear of judgment and that fear of ridicule stops mattering and that force of I'll tell you when that fear of judgment and that fear of ridicule stops mattering and that force of average gets pushed to the side, whether it's in your body, your relationship or in your business, you'll find that every day you're able to get shit done. Hey guys, Ryan here. Thanks for joining me today. If you've enjoyed this podcast, please head over to iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you consume audio and subscribe to 15 minutes to freedom. If this brought you value, please do me a favor and drop me a five-star rating. Then share this podcast with someone who needs to hear it. For additional content, head over to RyanNidell.com. That's R-Y-A-N-N-I-D-D-E-L dot com.

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