How To Connect With Your Children, Instill Strong Beliefs and Values, And Bond More Than Ever! | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "How To Connect With Your Children, Instill Strong Beliefs and Values, And Bond More Than Ever!".
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This is day-a-to-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a. This is 15-a-de-a-de-a-de-a-de-a-de-a-de-a-de-a-de-de-a-de-de-a-de-de-de-a-deployed, and today is day two of Family Week. Day one we dove into the letters of appreciation as far as it would pertain to those closest to us in our lives and why it actually matters. What doesn't matter to have that true attitude of gratitude from the inside out? For me it completely changes my belief system about how things operate on a day-over-day basis. I shared a story about a travel day and being able to sense and be aware of the gratitude that's all around me while also realizing that it gave me the strength and power to reconnect with my wife, even though we weren't on the same page. You see as habits are formed and new belief systems are created it's going to take you 22 days or so of starting to do something where it's going to be pretty easy where you're excited about it hence this potential note of appreciation gratitude. But then up until day 50-55 maybe even 60 60, right? Those next 35, 38 days, there's this chasm of chaos. Where you're confused in the moment of like, why am I even doing this? Nothing is happening. It's putting in a ton of work and seeing very little results, very little output. This is a known phenomenon. This is not something that's a one-off to just you. This is how we work as human beings. So when you get to that 60, 66, 70th day, all of a sudden these rituals, these habits, become automatic. At this point, I like to refer refer to it as this becomes a lifestyle for you. Now fully I like to push into the 90 day window to make sure everything sits, make sure it all seeds in nice and deep in your subconscious and that the automatic ability that you have to produce a new outcome is there on tap all the time. But I don't want to stop just with the ones closest to us. See this sense of gratitude is more than just a single text message to just one person. As it pertains to family, there's a lot more family as we discussed yesterday than just your wife, your husband, your boyfriend, your girlfriend. What about the extended family? Right, it's easy for me because I have my daughter, Gianna. And while Gianna does not share the same DNA that I do, whether, while her father is still actively involved in her life and does a nominal job with her when she is with us or how I view her in the world she is my daughter. And so it becomes very easy, right? I know that every day can start the same way and should start the same way and ultimately has started the same way with a message to her. That message almost always reads somewhere along the lines of Giana Good morning, I love you. You're the most powerful, strong, beautiful, and intelligent daughter in the entire world. I love you because, and then I share something. From that sense of I love you because at the end I say, I love you now and I always will, no matter whatever happens, because my love for her is not conditional. It truly isn't. There's nothing that she could do to have me think differently of her. So I want her to know that. But there are times and places where you might not have a child yet. Or you do when they might not be old enough to receive a message. I want to start what happens with just simply writing a note and leaving it somewhere for them to see. That would be your child if you have one. Right a little sticky note on the mirror. I'm saying I love you because. A little something something to let them know you're thinking about them is all that it takes.
Leader Audio: Gianna Cud (04:25)
Have something humorous on it, put a smiley face, have it be fun, have it be a game. You know there was something that was taught to us inside of Wake Up Warrior, which I want to honor and share with you, and that is a formulaic expression of what kids really want. You know, there was something that is a formulaic expression of what kids really want. Love plus fun equals connection. It's literally just that easy. But we as adults in our convoluted difficult problem solving minds make this so much greater than it really is. We plan elaborate trips. We think it has to be this great gift. We think it has to be some monumental something in order to buy our children's love. Some of the greatest times I've ever spent with Gianna, the times it costs us the least amount of money because she doesn't care. In her nine-year-old mind we're just now starting to get in the concept of what money means and how to have a healthy relationship with it. I don't ever want to do something. Because that creates a negative belief system somewhere deeply implanted upon her that she will have to overcome later in life as it pertains to dollars and cents. How many times in your life have your children heard you say money doesn't grow on trees? We don't have the money for that right now. I don't know if we can afford that. All these things may be true in their totality, not judging you in any capacity for you're at fiscally on this journey of life. What I would encourage you to consider is the fact that as you go down this path, the words that you choose have an actual impact. It's okay if you don't currently have the funds to do something, say something on the lines of, we're working towards being able to do that soon. It's ultimately the same truth. It shows that hard work is rewarded. It doesn't allow someone to have a negative belief system based around money. All these things go into how we correspond with our children. Because our children end up running the patterns that we give to them. The same way that you and I are running the patterns that were given to us. Yes, my mother and father, without knowledge of it at the time, more than life, way that you and I are running the patterns that were given to us. Yes, my mother and father, without knowledge of it at the time, more than likely, gave me gifts. Some of these gifts were great gifts to receive. And some have taken 30-plus years for me to untangle and untwist in my mind, allowing me more clarity and focus, and ultimately power and production. The conversation of money was one of those. My dad was a saver, my mom was a little bit of a spender. We didn't want for much, but we certainly didn't feel like we had everything. It was unique balance in the dichotomy back and forth which again none of that is good or bad I just realize in my adult form there were things now that I had to work through as it pertains to my relationship with the almighty dollar I share all this from this place of pouring a helping you pour into those children in your life. And let's say by chance you don't have a child right now. It's okay. Had it not been for Lindenjana, I obviously would not have a child right now. But I am someone's child. And when we can accept that these patterns exist and that they are belief systems that we have, whether we wanted them or not, if you could consider the possibility that that might be true, then it allows you the ability to reframe and reprocess those patterns. You see, this quadrant of life as it pertains to family is not only notes of gratitude, honor, love, and appreciation towards my wife or the person closest to me, but it's also towards my daughter.
The reason for this ultimately still becomes the same and that ties back into that neuroplasticity game that we like to play. So it's going to take 70 to 90 days to have this hardwired in your brain that you start to find the best in every situation. That you start to without having to focus on it you are able to choose the words that benefit the situation and the long-term success and and viability of those people around you. You see these things have actual value. But you have to know they exist in order to make a change about them. And so the same can happen going down the family tree, or potentially up, whichever way you want to look at it. As you look at the patterns that you have in your life that you believe not to serve you, and then you confirm or deny that your parents had those same patterns. Part of what we do here is to make a change and make an impact in the patterns that have been created. We make changes in the patterns that have been created that have been passed down from generation and generation. And if we know that we have a pattern inside of us, we can go backwards and have a conversation with our parents about why it exists. More often than not, what seems to happen... backwards and have a conversation with our parents about why it exists. More often than not, what seems to happen is when we address it and share it with our parents, our significant others, those people that have an impact in that change. They too realize that they want something greater. They just didn't know. those people that have an impact in that change. They too realize that they want something greater. They just didn't know in a presence of awareness it was going on. And so today is not only a note of gratitude and appreciation toward your children, but it could also be the other way around and going the opposite direction of the family tree. It's having the conversation with those people that gave you life. It's sharing the love, the honor, the appreciation and also sharing the tough things, the things aren't so favorable. The patterns that they gave to you that you didn't know you wanted. And when you begin to set yourself up in such a way that you no longer are victim to the patterns that don't serve you while also focusing on the positive on a day-over-day basis, you'll find out that every day thereafter you're able to get, shit done.