Kendra Lust | Acclaimed Adult Film Actress | Transcription
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This is 15 minutes of freedom. I'm your host, elite life optimization coach, Ryan Nidel. And today coming to you live from Detroit, Michigan, I have acclaimed adult actress, Kendra Lust. Kendra, thank you for having me to your home. Well, thanks for being here. I'm excited. You've been incredibly kind to invite us up, right? We're shooting on a Friday night, way past normal business hours. For sure. up right like we're shooting on a friday night way past normal business hours for sure and it's just so cool to have got to spend a few hours getting to know you now yeah it has been what time did you get here 8 30 perfect there's my babies on there yes so yeah just a few hours i feel like we've talked about so much and and then we haven't gotten to actual filming, but that's okay. But we're here now. Yes. And that's the important part. Yes. And I love the multifaceted nature of who you are. Right, because obviously we have adult film star, but that's, in my mind, that's like over in the corner. That's like this little fragment and segment of who you are. Because we got wife. Yes. We got incredible mother. Thank you. Absolutely. Thank you. Entrepreneur. Whew, that's incredible mother. Thank you. Absolutely entrepreneur Whoo, that's a work in progress. But yeah for sure. Yes. Absolutely. I think I'm trying to I don't want to say do what other people are not doing or just kind of take the plunge into Business owner, but I don't know separate myself And I don't know i don't know i'm going with this but yeah i think just kind of take initiative to plan for my future and that's kind of where i'm at well absolutely you have a lot of things i know we won't touch base on all of them you have so many things in the works to propel your career forward in perpetuity like forever right you're You're looking long term, this is not, hey, I'm on film for this amount of time and I'm just gonna continue to make a living this way. Like, you're diverse. Yeah, I try to. I think I understand shelf life, and kudos to a lot of the women who, like Nina Hartley, she's been in the industry for an incredibly long time. 30, 40 years. Crazy. And, um, you know, still kind of owning what she does, but, but for me, like my life is, is, um, it's, it's a little different and the kind of the path that I want to take. So for me, I love to perform and I always tell people I'm,'m a performer first however I want to kind of I'm intrigued by the business aspect and and and and what I can do with that and yeah so for me that's I don't know they're both sex is always number one I shouldn't say that but but I am I think about passive income and and how I don't always have to be on to be creating revenue of course when you say that like passive you're finding out now from the entrepreneurial side yeah it's not really passive like you
Alisha'S Life And Journey
Ninas unique view on sexual activities and business goals (02:39)
said last night you're working till 2 o'clock in the morning like yeah working working yeah I was I was you know and I mean I was I was physically in front of the camera for part of that but then the other part was kind of brainstorming and and and thinking okay how are we going to do this or how can we strategically plan you know this to to make this happen so um I think it's all relative in all honesty absolutely because you have you're not only in front of the camera, you also do work behind the camera too, right? I do. But in all honesty, I'm really horrible at directing. And I know that. I own it 100%. I thought, oh my gosh, yeah, I'm going to direct, I'm going to produce, have this production company, Lust Army Productions. And I was really excited and really proud of it when I launched it however when I started to actually direct I realized I'm much more intrigued about being in front of the camera mm-hmm I am an exhibitionist for whatever reason I love sex I love pleasing others and for me I would get so wrapped up and watching the sex in a voyeuristic type of mode that I neglected my duties as, I would get so wrapped up in watching the sex in a voyeuristic type of mode that I neglected my duties as director. I would just like, I want to be there. Well, you know, and I would really get into it. And for me, like, okay, all right. Okay. Let's take a step back. Like, okay, maybe you're not so good at this. Yeah. You wanted to do that. You wanted the autonomy to say, this is the type of scene I want. This is the scenario, blah, blah, blah. But at the end of the day, I think I'm always going to be a performer first. And because of that, I got lost as a performer and neglected my director duties. And that's okay. And you know, it's self-awareness and learning what you're good at. And I'm really not that great at it. So it is so it is what it is yeah under the costly lesson I was gonna say how many films are underneath the lust army right now yeah no I mean I did six movies so um you know 24 25 scenes but um you know it was it was it was cool to kind of get my feet wet and and I feel like if you don't shoot you don't know if you're if you don't shoot you can't score and it you know you kind of have to put yourself out there and see what you're good at and and try different things like you said diversify and ultimately that's not my thing and i respect i have the utmost respect for for great producers and directors um directors, because it is more than what people think. The actual job itself is more than just directing. I mean, there is a lot to it. And for me, I didn't like that pressure when I'm in front of the camera or behind the camera. I don't know. I just want to perform. That's it. I just want to do what comes natural. And for me, that's just sex. I think it's so beautiful to know your zone of genius, right? Like that's what I call it with. Yeah. That's your thing. That's my thing. But that's been your thing, right? Like you've, I'd love to talk about if you're okay with it, just the background. You and your husband, right? Yeah. And being together. When did you guys first meet each other? Okay. So we met in elementary school. I was the new fourth grader coming in like at the end of the year. And I remember my parents being nervous, like, okay, you know like at the end of the year and I remember my parents being nervous like okay You know at the end of you know the school year.
Home state (06:26)
They're gonna be transitioned into a new school and my husband at the time was in fifth grade and He didn't like me very much, but I was the new girl, and I don't know I had the worst haircut in like fourth grade I don't even know how anybody thought I was cute, but I made a really cool friend April Shako I went to high school with her. She's awesome. And, um, I don't know. It, I mean, people were receptive to me and, and, um, all except for him, I guess he was like, I don't like that girl or whatever. It was kind of a tomboy, but, but yeah, we met years ago and, um, yeah, our relationship kind of evolved like middle school we didn't really pay attention to each other and then high school when I kind of developed or whatever he he was intrigued a little bit and we started dating men so started dating in high school mm-hmm yeah 14 so you guys have been together a fair amount of time we don't have to name a. Yeah. And I'm not ashamed. I'm proud. Like I, I own my age.
Alishas high school life (07:19)
I own, yeah, I'm, I'm okay. I'm the type of woman, like I don't want to be, um, I'm not trying to be 25. Like I own, own my age and, and, and who I am. I just don't want to be looking older than what I am. So I'm totally good with who I am. For sure. A hundred percent. looking older than what I am. So I'm totally good with who I am. For sure, 100%. And so, you guys dated in high school. Then he, like, there was this transition period where you went to college, right? Because you have been nursing back. I do, I have a bachelor's degree in nursing. But, okay, so he graduated a year before I did, and I said, okay, so what's your plan? What do you want to do? And he's like, I don't really know. And he had a year before I did. And I said, okay, so what's your plan? What do you want to do? And he's like, I don't really know. And he had discussed going into the service. And I thought, I don't think that's a good idea. Like I just, I felt it was a bad time. I think, I don't know if it was around the Gulf war, but I just, I felt like it was just kind of a cop out. I thought he was being lazy and didn't want to kind of figure out what he was good at because I don't really feel like he, he knew at that time, you know, he was good at because I don't really feel like he knew at that time you know he was good at sports but that was about it I remember in high school he would be copying off my paper and and the teacher would be like you know keep your eyes on your paper you know Charles or whatever you know whatever so I was afraid afraid that my dad would like kick my ass because if I didn't have good grades, he would be pretty pissed. So anyway, um, so you went through this period of not being sure of what he wanted to do. And at that time I said, you know, like, okay, choose a trade, go to school, like figure it out, but you need to do something. So at that time we were apart for about three years. And then, um, he eventually figured out what he wanted to do. And then he eventually figured out what he wanted to do. And I was in college taking my prereqs for nursing. And we decided, like, hey, we love each other. And we know what we want. And why are we playing games? Like, I don't know, maybe trying to make each other, you know, the stupid games you play when you're young, you know. But we were still intimate because we had great sex even back then. And anyway so we got back together and we've been together ever since so that was like early 2000 so like yeah Yeah, and during that like you said the three-year window when you were apart you shared with me like you were still enjoying Sex like sex has been yeah a core competency a core component of your life Oh, I remember from a young age being very, and it's not that I was like abused in any way. People think, oh God, was she, did she have daddy issues or things like that? No, I just, I always remember being like having this sexual aura about me or feeling sexual or just, I don't know, knowing what felt good with my body. And I don't know, knowing what felt good with my body. And I don't know, from a young age. And with him, he was kind of the opposite, where he hadn't had a lot of sexual experiences. And we were essentially each other's first, sort of. Wait, time out. I love this essentially. What does... Well, I mean, I had an experience prior to that that was kind of not necessarily... I don't know how to put it, but it wasn't... I didn't necessarily agree, but I didn't disagree. So it kind of happened. But I don't really count that just because it was a situation that kind of evolved. Anyway, so I really consider him like a consensual fornication. Is that the right word? Yeah, we can say sex. We can say fuck. Yeah, yeah, whatever. So that was like, you know, so for us that was like our first experience was together. And yeah, and it was pretty special even back then. Short, but it was pretty special even back then short but it was pretty cool so so yeah so each I always say like we're each other's first and we'll be each other's laughs no yeah and then we fast forward you guys get married we got married so after he figured okay I'm gonna like go into the police academy I kind of know my way and I was really proud of him. Um, and he was, I mean, a great, great officer. He really took pride in what he did. He received many, many, um, awards and he was on a special unit. Like, so he did really well and, um, I was really proud of him. And, um, then he was injured. Um, so he had several knee surgeries on his knee. Unfortunately, he had the, I don't even know that they had the option that he could do desk, like sit at the desk. But they said, well, you know, you're in therapy or whatever, you can sit at the desk.
Her Husbands Injury (11:56)
And he was, it was not for him because he was just kind of like in the mix, always had to be on the go. He loved the adrenaline. So it kind of wasn't him. So he did take a duty disability, he received full pension, and so yeah, so I mean he served almost 20 years, so it was like pretty awesome. And to make it out of Detroit for that amount of time is pretty awesome. It's a long time in Detroit. So yeah, and he sacrificed a lot, he worked a lot of overtime, he drove really shitty cars so I could have the nice cars so I could, you know, work and go to school. And he did a lot like to, to help me further my education because like at that time my parents weren't able to kind of help me. So it was a good thing. Of course.
Becoming a Registered Nurse. (12:41)
That whole time you end up getting, I mean, RN into nursing. Yeah. Talk to me about that for a second. Because you had, it wasn't like you just went to a hospital and I'm just going to be an RN. Yeah. You spend time as a prison nurse. You have some really, really crazy stuff. Yeah. It was really cool. So in high school, I took a program. It was a co-op program. And at that time, it's so funny. I had a couple of girlfriends who were going to do, or were doing it too. And, um, so we would go to school for a few hours and then the last part of our day, we would go to the nursing home and we would give, um, patients baths or like showers or whatever. And, um, you know, we got to kind of like shadow the nurses or whatever and kind of see what they do. So for me, I loved it. Like I am a self selfless human when it comes to people who are ill and vulnerable. And for me, that is, I feel like, I don't want me to get emotional, but I feel like in this industry, like I I'm missing that and I miss giving back to the community. So for me, it was a beautiful thing and I loved it. The good, the bad, the ugly, the cute little Irma who used to spit and pinch us because she was so pissed off that we wanted to give her baths, whatever. Because she was old. Leave me alone. I don't want to do this. Let me do what the hell I want to do. But, um, at the end of the day, I loved being able to give back and to, um, take care of people and their most vulnerable. And, and, you know, um, you know, I, I, I just love, I love the human connection. So for me, when I did that, I knew like, that's's what I wanted to do and there was nothing anyone could say to me that was gonna change my mind no matter how difficult it was I just knew when I could make somebody smile when I could you know make their day better when I could make them feel good like for me I was complete and that's and that from that point on I knew I want to be a nurse and this is this is my passion and this is what I'm gonna do so which is such a beautiful story but how does the shift go from I'll say traditional nursing or something like that into right the present oh my gosh okay so at that time my my husband was still on the force or whatever so he was working and and a lot of times I remember asking him when he'd come home like how was your day like what happened and he would say like I don't want to talk about it you know like when I come home like you're like this is like therapy for me like I just I don't want to talk about my day it's like kind of like the same shit when you keep seeing bad day after day you become cynical you, you become jaded, you become hard, desensitized, and that's kind of who he was becoming. So when he came home, he just kind of wanted to forget about that. And I don't want to go into statistics, but statistically, a lot of police officers or people in law enforcement, they struggle with addiction of some sort, whether it be alcoholism or, you know, whatever it is, they tend to have unhealthy vices. And I was grateful that, you know, he didn't have, I don't know what that was, that he didn't have that, you know, he would just come home to me and things would be good. So I learned, you know, over the years, not to kind of ask how his day was, but I was just really happy that he came home safe. And that's just, I mean, ultimately that's what I wanted, but I just thought like, okay, let's talk about your day. Cause I'm so intrigued with, um, you know, I'd like, I love watching forensic files and like all of those like true crime things, but I guess when you're living in it and that's your reality, you don't want to bring it home. So because of that, I thought, okay, I want to help to understand what he's going through. How can I do that? So I had a girlfriend and she said, I'm doing jail nursing. I think you should do it. I'm like, okay. I don't know anything about it, but hey, we can do it on the weekends. We can make great money, whatever. So I, um, started at the Oakland County jail and, um, I was on midnights of course, because you're going to get the shit shift. And, um, I honestly really fell in love with it. And I think because it was not traditional nursing, like, you know, the doctors were gone, I'm working midnights and, and you, you kind of like, I was able to kind of dig into the criminal justice system. Like, okay, this person's in here for this. And what does that mean? And I don't know, it became exciting to me because I could relate some of those things to my husband and I kind of got it. Okay. You know, these people are coming through, they're detoxing, they're, they're in for this and, and, and you see their behaviors and you see how they act and how they treat you. And you can kind of understand, okay, I can see why, you know, he might be jaded and, and, you know, those, those types of things. So for me, it was a way to kind of relate to him.
Reflections on Jail Nursing. (17:35)
it was it was it was really cool is interesting because it wasn't conventional nursing you know you have to kind of be a different personality you know yeah cool do you ever feel unsafe I did you know there were a few instances where not so much in the Oakland County Jail but when I went to to Macomb, I did because I worked in the tanks, or is that what they called them, or the receiving area. So these were newly processed inmates that came in that were coming off, that were newly arrested, that were picked up for drugs, that were picked up for criminal sexual conduct, were picked up for aggravated assault, murder. Okay, so these are people just coming in through the county jail so they're pissed off they don't have drugs there are they they don't have their drugs they're caught doing drugs they're maybe picked up on parole front there on parole and they're picked up you know so so these people are pissed they've just been tased so it's like they're totally pissed off. So that's kind of a little bit different. But at Oakland County, it was really cool because I didn't work in the receiving tanks or whatever. And I got them when they were kind of acclimated to their area. And I don't know. It was just different. It was kind of like a calmer setting. But it was still really interesting because when they would come down for their physicals and things, you got to interview them. And I don't know, it was, it's just, it's just different. You're dealing with a different demographic. It was really interesting. And I think what it did for me, it helped me to realize a lot about different cultures, people that were dirt poor, that had nothing to lose.
Misconceptions of the Prison System. (19:26)
So it's like there were times that I did feel unsafe. But I think at the end of the day, I conveyed to them, like, I am firm, but I am fair. I'm not here to judge you. I'm here to help you, you know, uh, regardless of what you've done, like, this is my job and I have an ethical obligation to do these things for you. So if you treat me with respect, I'm going to do the same for you. If you're shitty to me, I'm going to give it right back, you know, but it took me a long time, like about like six or seven months, you know, I had pee thrown on me at, I've, they had people call me names, you know, because it's like they don't respect you when they don't respect you they'll treat you like shit once they earn your you earn their respect they they treat you a different way but it it's like common sense it's not that common and I didn't have a lot of it you know I was I didn't really I didn't 100% like I didn't realize like I don't know some of the I I mean I don't know I I guess uh I wouldn't say I don't have common sense but street smarts is completely different than book smart I was book smart but street smart I hadn't been exposed to the element of crime or the you know the element of maybe somebody who had been in a situation where they had negative contact with the police all the time was never a good thing. So, you know, it's like two different worlds.
John Lee Dumas (20:52)
So it was really eye-opening for me. Well, it's so intriguing, because to me, who I would view to be now, you're incredibly street smart now. Yeah, took a long time. Yeah, but I've been burned. Like I said, it took pee to be now, you're incredibly street smart. Yeah, it took a long time. But I've been burned. Like I said, it took pee to be thrown on me. It took, you know, for me to kind of actually deal with that. And I owe a lot of that to correctional nursing because you really kind of get to know, I don't want to say, I'm not like a therapist or anything, but you kind of get to know why people act a certain way. Like they were exposed to this and that's why they are the way they are. It's not personal. They're going to call you a cracker, you know, because I'm white and I'm a figure of authority and it's not personal. It's displaced anger. Okay. They're pissed off. They're there. Like it's not personal. And I think you have to have a tough outer shell. So what it did for me, it helped me to, um, develop that and not take things personally and, and understand that, you know, um, they're just pissed off cause they're there. It's not you. And if you kind of let your guard down and you talk to them like a human and you treat them like a human and you have respect with them, they will respect you and they will too be able to connect. And, you know, I mean, not always, but a lot of times, you know, that's, that's kind of what they want. They wanted to be heard. They wanted to be listened to. They wanted to be treated like a human being, not a criminal, so to speak. Cause we're, we're all, I think at any given point, we're all capable. We're all, I think I, I still have faith in humanity and I do believe at the end of the day most of us are there's more good in the world than there is bad and I think if we kind of recognize that I you know and I don't know I lost kind of lost my train of thought but at the end of the day I think we're all the same, but we're all capable of making one bad decision that can change the rest of our life. And I think if we kind of understand that and not saying let them know, like it's not okay to murder somebody. However, I don't know the situation that they were in. I don't know how I would react in their situation. But I think we're all capable of making one bad decision that can change the rest of our life. Well, of course, and I love that. I mean, I oftentimes say murder's bad, right? But if someone came into your house and was going to threaten your daughter or your family, it doesn't even cross your mind. Like, they'd be dead. That's it. That's why I have a 38 special. Right? Yeah, with a laser because I'm not that great of a shot but but yeah that's that's why I have that's why I carry it and and because you just you just never know no and so well if we backtrack right you get married and you said that from the sexual side of you and I'd like to we back and forth because I truly view you. You have this truly brilliant story about business not only as a nurse but also where you sit now. But there's been this sexual undertone that's just always been there. Right, like consistently. And so you get married and you said that you decided to sit down with your husband or expose him to, we'll say, the quote unquote lifestyle. Yeah. And if someone doesn't know what the lifestyle is, would you mind explaining what that means and how that works? And. Okay. So it's kind of crazy, but I remember one night we went out and this is a little, um, prior to us getting in. And, um, I was like, wow. Like in my husband even said, he's like, oh my gosh, like the women were so nice to you and everybody was so nice. I'm this is like the coolest bar like everyone's just so nice and I realized we were at a lifestyle party so we learned what the lifestyle was and because I had no clue that any of this ever existed I know so stupid I did I never knew you know you like sex you didn't know no clue I knew like people like you know maybe entertained other people but I didn't know there was an actual lifestyle so after my husband and I got married like we had talked about like oh you know when we were apart did you have sex with anybody or like did you experiment he was like nah like like I didn't like he would go to strip clubs here and there and like flirt around with people he but he never had I'm like you never had people. But he never had, I'm like, you never had sex with him. He's like, no, I'm like, seriously, nobody. He's like, no, he's like, I knew you were my queen and that was it. And it just, I just knew like, whatever. And I was like, well, that's fucking bullshit. Like I'm going to get you laid this year. So like the first year we got married, at least the first couple of years, I was like, okay, I'm going to get you laid. We're going to have fun and, and whatever. So I signed us up on the site and and he's like what the hell so so we had fun with you know other couples single girls and we just kind of were exploring his sexuality more because for me I was more experienced but really not as much as I really thought once I get into porn I realized I wasn't as experienced as I thought really wasn't. Nope. So kind of during that lifestyle side Mm-hmm when the first time that goes on are you guys watching each other? Like how does that yeah? We're like, okay. There's soft swap. Just like just like girl girl and the guys watchers full swap. Are you? Exchange with your part like partners completely you know then there was this whole other aspect where you like date of it and we're like no we don't like no i don't have time for that shit like i don't want to be married to somebody else i don't want to take anyone else on a date that type of thing so for us like it was more about it being together watching the other partner being pleased and that type of thing so that's kind of what we did like if i wasn't attracted to the guy but I was attracted to the girl we do a soft swap so it was like the rule was we never took one for the team although I did take one for the team a couple times because I was a girl so hot like you should just be able to I'm like fuck fuck this guy whatever yeah you know but for the most part like he always has made it about me you know and He's so like unselfish and I'm a hypocritical bitch sometimes and the doctor super selfish with this 100% Yeah, no, I don't even like to admit that because it's putting it out there like oh, you're the coolest wife Well, maybe really I'm not maybe I'm more to deal with than people actually think so good. Okay. I'm not that fucking cool sometimes, you know so ultimately he's the shit he's amazing he he is a much better partner than I could ever dream to be 100% and I know that and when people say oh you're lucky to have her it's like well maybe I'm lucky to have him because pretty fucking awesome yeah so so yeah so we we did that you know for god i remember like throwing sex parties i was making chocolate chip cookies naked and like having all this fun and all here in greater michigan we'll say greater detroit 100 we were living our best life so to speak i hate to use that douchebag term but why why you're a nurse while he's a cop oh right it's just like we were just having fun like for seven years and i think at the end of the day it's not like we were hardcore swingers like we want to fuck we want to bring this girl or guy home tonight it was more like we enjoy the atmosphere we enjoy being sex positive we enjoy i enjoyed dressing up sexy and and dancing with girls and just having fun.
Were Having the Best Time (27:44)
It wasn't necessarily, we're going to fuck that couple tonight. Most of the time, we never brought anybody home. It was just being around the atmosphere. The testosterone wasn't crazy. We just had a good time. We were enjoying life and enjoying feeling sexy. So it was it was good So at what point in your life do you remembered like I think quintessentially sex is this Special thing and not implying that it's not special. Yeah, right I don't know your stance on it, but like there's some disassociation from if someone's listening you're married.
It's like you're with one partner it's gonna be very special and intimate and somewhere along your evolutionary journey, you're married, it's like you're with a partner, it's gotta be very special and intimate. And somewhere along your evolutionary journey, you're like, it sounds like it's just sex, right? Like it's just something between a man and a woman that's in our DNA that we should just do it. And when did that happen? You know, I don't know that it was like something that clicked. I just, I think part of, you know, getting into the lifestyle had to do with some things that had happened in my life, you know, and I thought, okay, like don't go through a midlife crisis. My dad did like, just have fun, you know, enjoy sex and get it out. So you don't cheat on me down the road. Like in all honesty, I wanted him to experience it and realize like I have the platinum pussy. That's it. This the platinum pussy. Yeah, that's it. This shit is platinum That's it. This is the money. This is the shit like you can all these other you know be list bitches But this is fucking the shit. Mm-hmm It's like I knew it but I had to prove it like sorry so like so for me like part of it was that But So for me, part of it was that. But I lost track of the question because, you know, whatever. But I don't know. I lost track of the question. No, it's fine. So you more or less said, like, how did it evolution? Like the disassociation. Okay. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I feel like when I don't overanalyze things and I just kind of think like it's it's just sex it's nothing more like I feel like when I have time to sit and think about it then I start overthinking because I can overanalyze but I think at the end of the day we we are all we're not really truly meant to be monogamous I feel like there's only a few like beavers and like there's only a few warm blooded or mammals that are that are truly meant to be monogamous so I I feel at the end of the day we all want variety and and we all want You know to to be desired and to feel sexy and to experience something different You know, but at the end of the day, I only want to cuddle with someone. I only want to share certain parts of intimacy with someone, and that's him. That's my husband. Sex is just sex, and that's just it. It's primal. It's just fucking. It's feeling it's, it's primal. It's, it's, you know, it's, it's just fucking, it's feeling good and it's nothing more. However, for a lot of people, it is more and it's hard for a lot of people to, to separate that. But I don't know, maybe if you have enough sex, you, I don't know, maybe it's just who we are or how our DNA is made. but at the end of the day like sex is just sex there's sex and then there's love and there's intimacy I only want to take care of him I only want to grow old with him I only want to share certain things with him and and there's other people I just I just want to fuck and it felt great and we had a great time and that's it and I'm done like I don't feel a connection with them other than sexual energy mm-hmm and I don't know what clicked and and why that happened or how we disassociated that but for whatever reason maybe it was forced because of what things that have happened in my past and maybe it was organic or a combination of both but it just happened and that's just one it works right it's not so much to judge or question for me it's i love what you said about beavers because this is there's no good way to segue into this i do inherently agree with everything you just said like the primal nature to go out and especially as men reproduce it's in our physiological dna that's how we're wired yep let's go get somebody pregnant excuse and over and over again. Like in, and women, right? And to be sexist, you stay home, take care of the kid. No, but this is all, goes back to, no, like you said, primal, I don't want to say caveman, but that's just, that's just kind of how things were designed to be. Well, absolutely. Like Aboriginal, Yes. cultures right now in Africa are still operating the same way. that's just kind of how things were designed to be well absolutely yeah aboriginal yes cultures right now in africa are still operating the same way it's a tribe of people everybody has sex with the other ones your the goal is reproduction for survival that's it and you still have the person the man and the woman that are your person that's right that's it and that's my chalk like that's it yeah like that's it but then over time we've who knows why right but the thing of marriage has to be between just one man and a woman and you get married and i think that's oftentimes one of the reasons for like high divorce rates things like that right like that level of not being truly satisfied not having at least as a man a woman that's sexually in touch with herself or willing to explore right I think we're already predisposed to want to go out and smell different flowers and and spread your seed which I get not saying like I'm always okay with that because I think there's a part of me because of what my whole dad situation it pisses me off yeah but you know and and I can't help that but but that's science and that's that's the way it is of course so and I don't help that, but that's science, and that's the way it is. Of course. So. And I don't want to, only because you brought it up a few times, and I don't want to dive into it. No, it's fine. But the dad side of things, at some point in your life, can we at least brush over to say, like, when that inflection point was? Like, your mom and dad were married, you had a good childhood?
Lets go back to Dodd (34:00)
I had a, and people always think, oh, yeah, you know, because she did adult, she has know these she was had daddy issues or she was this or she was that and it wasn't that a great childhood my dad was present he was you know always there for you know he made sure you know I did well in school and academically and in sports he was he, he was there. Like he was encouraging and there wasn't a drug abuse, alcohol. There was nothing of that sexual nature, nothing. So he was great the first 20 years of my life. And then he just went through his own midlife crisis. Um, and you know, it's like, I don't know if it's good or bad because in all honesty though, I honestly feel that during the most important parts of my life he was there for me he was solid he was a great father he was a great husband like he he was there for me during the developmental parts what I think it's like birth to five years are the most important and he was there and he he did everything I don't want to say he was supposed to do but he did everything he was supposed to do and he did it well okay he was great provider and and all those things and then after like you know after 20 years he decided that you know hey i've done my job my kids are eight both you know i was my sister was 18 i was 20. i did what i was supposed to do.
How Ona was Able To Heal The Wounds Of Her Childhood (34:37)
Now I'm going to live for me. And at that point he kind of did what he wanted to do and kind of left us high and dry. And that really pissed me off. So those abandonment issues, um, maybe, maybe is, is, you know, what kind of, you know, some of the insecurities, you know, or whatever. Um, and you know, and like I said, know or whatever yeah um and you know and like i said it's not fair to my husband because he's great absolutely he is the ideal partner like he's amazing and you know he's kind of reinforced hey i'm not your dad like hey i'm here for the long haul no matter what no matter you know through thick and through thin through sickness and health like i'm here so um, um, you know, people say, Oh, you know, you're lucky. She's like, you're lucky to have her. Well, I'm pretty lucky to have him because he's pretty fucking awesome. So what I find to be so interesting, right? We have the intellectual side of our brain and the emotional side, right? Cause intellectually you say it's in our DNA to go out and spread our seed. Yep. Okay. The emotional side of our life, you have the emotional tie to your father who just inherently wanted I'm not going to say that he went out and spread his seed but it's what he did and it's okay like it right I don't know him so it is what it is if it looks like a duck quacks like a duck it's a duck and that's what he did and that's okay you know that was his choice yeah and uh you know but it's just fascinating how we can concept like we can intellectualize something but the emotional ties that we have to it almost throw intellect out the window because you you guys are real-time iterations of having that work the right way where you can spread your seed and with that would keep you guys close together and it's just beautiful like getting to know your husband before the interview right phenomenal right like truly just an amazing individual and to see how you've used that to actually in my opinion draw your relationship even closer right it's just it's a it's a beautiful thing to see from the outside and to have your relationship grow over oh my god i don't know 20 plus years right through me scooping sherbert at baskin robbins and then he'd come in and try to get extra for his brownie limo. He's like, can't you get me a little extra? I'm like, no, I'm going to get fired. This is by the book. And then I end up doing adult. But he would be like, can't you get me a little extra? I'm like, no, I can't. I can't get fired. Because they were Yugoslavian. I was afraid. Like, oh my god, fire me. And I needed the job. Of course, if they were German. I'd walk to work. And he just wanted a little extra it's like no it's not happening he gets so pissed off but it is what it is yeah and then we fast forward a little bit right because you have your husband that ends up getting injured you shared that yeah you have your sister that you said is a couple years younger than you and there's some things that go on that way yeah and all of a sudden you have a full house of people pretty much yeah and a lot of debt with not a lot of money i've been there right i've been bankrupt i get it right car repo like oh my god i woke up but i'm kind of glad that thing fucking left because that thing was like on its way out anyway it only went 35 dodge stratus go fuck yourself like sorry that's a shitty car yes sorry but that that ends up being that point where you make a pivot like you're you're a nurse at that point and you decide you need to help take care of the family yeah well i started webcamming first okay and i was like gosh we're doing that?
The Beginnings And Experiences In The Adult Entertainment Industry
Pivot point - her journey to adult entertainment (38:11)
That was 2012. Okay, excuse me 2011 the end of 2011. It was like November around the same time I started my Twitter and I Started webcaming. I was making really good money and then this guy convinced me I had to come out to L At that time I went out to Sacramento. He's like, oh, yeah, come out here. We'll get some photos He kind of ended up being creepy. And I was like, that's not going to work for me. Not happening. But anyway, things happen for a reason. But it opened my eyes like, okay, I can do this. I can make money, you know, webcamming. And he, you know, he did open doors. So I'll give him credit for that. And then while I was webcamming, someone was like, oh, maybe you should do like porn or film. And I was like, I don't know anything about it. I don't know how to do it. And together, him and I were like, okay, you know, these are the big companies. If you can kind of reach out to them. Nobody wanted to take a chance on me. They were like, oh, gosh, you're like a milf. You know, you're a tired mom working midnights as a nurse. Like nobody, no. We don't know you. How old were you then? Like, 32-ish, 33. That makes them, like, it's crazy.
Breaking into the porn industry (39:51)
That's old. Like, that's a milf. Oh, in porn, you're like a grandma at that time. That's nuts. It was just like you're a milf. I shouldn't say grandma. But you're like, you know, you're kind of past your peak at that time. Okay. And I was like, okay. So, we did it kind of old school way we sent i went and got a photographer and pictures and i i we sent them out for like over four a four month period and then finally someone took a chance i'm like okay fine come out like okay we'll give you a girl girl like you know come out shoot your scene like it was kind of like, yeah, just kind of like a filler scene. Like they didn't really give two shits about me. I didn't know anybody, you know, what do I really have to offer? And then, um, I, I probably, I had the toughest director that there is to date.
James dealmem (40:34)
Like I, yeah, no doubt he is. Uh, he was not the kindest to his staff. He was, uh, really kind of rough around the edges. And I was very nervous. I remember shaking and like, oh my God, I don't know if I can, it was only a girl, girl scene. Because you had been with women prior to that, right? Like it wasn't like a new... No, but I've always been very like nervous with women. With guys, it's kind of like, eh, they don't expect too much. You just give it up, they're going to enjoy themselves. But with women, you want to make sure that they're comfortable and you're not gonna offend them and all those types of things so my first scene was a girl girl was mean bitches let me be the girl that gets beat up because let me not hurt a woman because I'm not really good at that like if I have to pretend or even think about like doing something it's not gonna work because that's not my nature I'm a pleaser right so I work with Eva Carrera she's a I know she was Russian or like Hungarian or Ukrainian anyway she's a tough broad so she just kind of beat me up a little bit and I enjoyed it like I don't mind taking direction from a woman it's good so the director he was he was tough but it ended up being a good scene and and you know at the end of the scene he was like okay you know maybe you should get a an agent I'm like I don't really know anybody he suggested a couple agents i went with a female just because i thought it would be the best thing and uh yeah and it just it worked out from there so that's so crazy that right you you were with women in your private life yeah and you got had you and your husband ever filmed things like had you been yeah not no it was just all for fun and yeah here and there and like once in a while but we never like you know we're like amateur we never other than each other of course you know we had done I remember I think one or two in high school yeah whatever but that was it yeah and then how long from the first girl girl scene to the first girl guy scene okay so march 2012 i shot my first girl girl and then april major and they said oh because of your age like you're not going to get a lot of girl girl you're only going to make money if you do boy girl and um in hindsight they're kind of they're they're right because a lot of the girl girl is with a lot of the younger girls um and when you're a mil so to speak you know they want you to work with the guys because they can make more money off you and it's it's it's it sells better and i get get that.
Spoke with girl models (42:58)
And it does. So it was only a few months. So March, April, May, June. So it was June 2012 I did my first boy-girl. But I said, you know, if I'm going to do boy-girl, I want the best of the best. I want Manuel Ferraro to be my first boy-girl. That's what I want. I'm not going to just film with some guy that's going to make me look shitty because it's not going to help me. And Manuel and I had got on a Skype call. He, I don't want to say he discovered me because he didn't, but he took an interest in, Hey, I'd like to, like, it would be cool. I think if you did boy, girl, it'd be a good idea for, for your career or whatever. If you want to do it, I'll shoot it for you with you. And, uh, we shot it. And I remember I was so nervous. I was shooting with, um, Chris streams. Um, excuse me. I don't know if it's Chris streams or his partner. I can't think of it. Maybe Chuck would know. But anyway, uh, it was for, um, uh, Jules Jordan, uh, film at that time. And anyway, so I was so nervous and I thought, Oh god I have to remember lines I'm horrible I don't I don't public speak like this is awful all I know is just sex because that's all I know so when we started filming I Chuck my husband had said just talk dirty just do what you do just be you like you're gonna do great like whatever so I started talking dirty and Manuel covers my mouth and he says shh shh shh and I thought oh my god what am I doing wrong he's like it doesn't sound it's too fake it's too fake and I'm like but this is just this is how I have sex like this is all I know I don't I don't know how to do anything any other way and he's like oh it just it just sounds too porny and I was like well but this is just how I generically have sex and that's just how him and I are banter and that that's just all i knew you knew you know and um anyway so anyway so we go through the scene and whatever and i i think it turns out well but it's probably one of my worst scenes ever because i don't know how to open up i don't know what the i'm doing it's just like going through the motions just like sex um uh uninhibited but but but like not real good direction because the director was like okay just you know kind of go through the motions and Manuel various seasons at that time kind of led the scene and and and opened up how he thought was the right way to open up um but I think in Manuel's mind he thought I was being fake but that was the only thing I knew and I didn't know anybody to tell me any different. I had no direction. And anyway, it went well, I guess, for a first scene. But how well, I'll never know to this day. Because I never get constructive criticism on the scene. You just don't know. You just kind of go through, okay, all right, we need a mill for the next scene. Okay, she can fill this spot. Or we like her because we like her dirty talk, you know, whatever. I remember filming one of my first scenes for Brad Armstrong in a Wicked movie, and I filmed with the late Bill Bailey. And Bill Bailey, I don't know, he's, anyway, he's since passed away, don't know he's um anyway he's since passed away but um one of the kindest most sweetest amazing uh human beings aside from porn um that i that i've ever met very genuine human being anyway um uh may you rest in peace but anyway getting back to uh the film with Brad Armstrong. So I was nervous because when you film with Wicked, you have a ton of dialogue. And again, horrible at public speaking. Like when it comes to sex, I'm okay with that. But I don't want to talk about people because then they can look at me and judge me and pick me apart. I don't want to know all that. So anyway, I have a lot of dialogue. And I remember Bill saying, just relax. You're going to be fine. It's going to be fine. You're going to be great. And he went over the dialogue and it was so sweet. And I was like, okay, I feel like I've got this, but I really didn't. So we get into the sex portion and all of a sudden I start talking dirty and Bill looks at me.
Only females. (46:54)
I'll never forget. He looks at me like, holy shit. He's like, you're the the sweetest girl but you've got the filthiest mouth like during sex and and I think people were kind of surprised because I was just a sweet nervous girl from Michigan with his accent that Brad still makes fun of but the dirty talk kind of kind of took him over the edge and I don't know if that's kind of something that I was known for but whatever it is what it is. Good times. Good times. It sounds like great times. So we fast forward from then to now, how many scenes roughly in total, right? And how, like, I have so many just general questions out of sheer curiosity, right? Like a scene that appears on film is what? 15, 20 minutes of runtime on average? Yeah. Depending. Yeah. Depending. But generally about 20 minutes or or so how long does it actually take you to shoot that scene like from when the camera rolls from the first i don't know if there's a start like yeah is it is it take you five hours of having sex like how does that work to get the 20 minutes and people ask that all the time like oh my gosh you must be so tired that's so much sex and but in all actuality like you know if it goes more than 45 minutes that's extremely long okay so generally they'll say we need 25 minutes and then they'll
Having sex on camera and how shoot takes (47:47)
take 20 minutes of it or or whatever so generally they just want to make sure that they have enough um to cut if they need to to make changes or whatever but generally it's about I mean 25 30 minutes okay and they'll tell you like this means switch positions this means okay come time like or whatever so you know in every directors different some will want you to go five minutes in one position completely still you are stationary the guy guy like this is the angle um so it it really depends on the director but generally if there's more than 45 minutes of sex like that that's a lot and a lot of girls are like oh my god 45 minutes like you know that's a lot like holy shit that's a long day for them you know most of it is just you know you get there it's makeup it's hair it's lighting it's sex stills it's dialogue it's this you know most of it is just you know you get there it's makeup it's hair it's lighting it's sex stills it's dialogue it's this you know one shot a two shot like you know so it's it's more hurry up and wait than it actually is the sex you know so makes sense yeah and what was it like the first time like how many scenes in before your husband came out and watch right because yeah oh my gosh you can only have sex seen so many times, like in so many states, right?
The Business Side Of Pornography
When did Josh stop at 1 scene only (49:11)
Like you can't have sex on camera in all 50 states legally, right? Yeah, right, yeah, 100%. So, I mean, I would have to say like he generally, he would, you know, maybe, he wouldn't always come out when I would film. So there were times where he would be at home and because we have a family and things like that. And, you know, it just all depended on the situation. Um, but it wasn't really until I started directing that he would come around. He would never want it to be that creep. He never wanted to make a woman, a girl feel uncomfortable or another guy. He's very confident in who he is with his sexuality with his size just in every aspect of who he is as a human being he's very always been very confident which is a huge attractive quality which I love like if he was an insecure guy very unattractive right so I always like that about him and admired that and wished that I could maybe be a little bit more like him mm-hmm but we're all made differently but anyway so I think I don't think it was until I actually started to direct and produce that he actually came on set you know and really yeah yeah and he you don't he didn't want to ever change who I was or how I performed or any of that you know you want to be to be my authentic self so and it's it's like directors and producers of other companies they don't want spouses they don't want significant others on set because of the you know some people get jealous or it changes kind of the dynamic and uh but yeah he was always he was always good so and then was there a point where you went from i'm doing porn right into i've made it right like there's and i know ego right who makes it but like yeah something happens when you're you know okay i'm shooting with this guy and oh my gosh i to Like I now have a brand right?
When did the business side kick in for Clyde. (50:34)
I'm now yeah, I'm now a notable person that kind of gets to pick and choose what I want you know he'll tell you differently than then what I'll tell you because Like to this day sometimes I don't get it and he, he's gotten it for a long time. He's like, own who you are. Stop downplaying your success. You know, do not do this when you're in a business meeting. It doesn't look good. Like you need to know your worth. So for me, it, it, it's not until recently, probably over the last year and a half, two years, that I've kind of gotten to recognize and kind of know who I am. Whereas to him, he's known for a long time. He's believed in me well before I've ever believed in myself. And that's, I don't know, i don't know how to explain it like and i don't think i'm oh i'm so insecure because i i believe i'm sexy i know i'm sexy but to know my worth um he's known well before i've ever believed in myself so yeah i don't know i don't know how to answer the question but probably within the last year and a half two years where i can say okay no i am kendra lust i can dictate who i want to choose with i can i deserve this rate because i know i'm worth it you know where um yeah it takes a while because you've won awards right it's not like you're like yeah i mean yeah but for a long time there's been awards on your hypothetical mantle but i don't know yeah yeah you know and and for me like all i wanted was one i wanted my one avian i wanted my fleshlight and i don't know i think those were kind of the standards i that i set for myself and i wanted to be able to make x amount per year, you know? So like I've, I've, I've accomplished those things.
Does doing porn help build a marketable brand? (53:20)
And, um, and now I've exceeded that, like as far as awards. And I always tell him, I'm like, you know, at this point, like I don't really give a shit about awards. They collect dust. They don't, they don't really make you any more in the industry. Like you can win best newcomer and your rate's still lower than what my rate is or what an accomplished performer, you know, in the Hall of Fame or a new girl. You know, it's really, awards are great. I think they're more a personal accomplishment, but as far as making any more money I can guarantee I make more than the and I'm not being pompous but I know this I make more than 97% of the industry with my with my with my rates because it's it's it's a business and it's about perceived value. It's about supply. It's about demand Branding and you know, it's a lot of things only one of you and I'm not any better than any of these girls But it's all about how you market yourself. Mm-hmm, you know, absolutely So you talk about rates and this is always so fascinating. Yeah You get paid per scene. Yeah, paid per scene, however that would look, and then as the industry has shifted, no problem that I, in my teens and twenties, I started watching porn on dial-up. The modem and way back when. Yeah, it's gonna max. Yeah, for sure, the blurry picture the whole time. My husband always says, you wait for that blurry picture and then the little boob comes. Oh, my God.
How does the modern porn industry function (55:05)
Oh, it's the most incredible 13 seconds of my life when the boobs would light up and you're staring like, yes. Yeah, right. But, like, I remember in college stopping by, you know, adult stores, buying DVDs. And that was still, like, the internet wasn't, I'm going to say what it is now. But, right, 2002 and 2003, it was a much different world than now. But, to me, how's the business side of things, right? Because you're an incredible business woman with things going on everywhere. Don't care what your rate is, this is not a money conversation, I want to make sure I say that. Yeah, no, no, and that's okay. Like I said, I'm pretty transparent, I'm okay with that. You're probably thinking, how is that affected or how does that equate into the big picture of revenue? Yeah, because you look at like if you self produce you own your own website and you release your own content you kind of control the upstream channel like you're in control so that as long as you have distribution that's good right and digital is yeah people are following you because you are who you are right okay you could then eliminate the variables absolutely where you could in theory in my mind just mathematically make more money and and absolutely i think when dvd was good okay it was really fucking good when um back in the 90s the the early 2000s, that's when, oh my gosh, people were making a shit ton of money. Okay. You know, it was amazing. And then the internet kind of hit. And what that did was it decreased the value of DVD. There's now like video on demand and there's all these other ways um for these companies to make money so um with that a lot of the directors and producers uh kind of suffered financially um however i mean i don't know i think it's good and it's bad and in a way it's like if you can't beat them kind of join them like as far as Pornhub and those companies, that type of thing. So ultimately, I feel like the industry has grown. There's more performers. There's more companies. That's a good thing, but in a way, it is bad. I don't know anything other than what has happened since 2012. You know, so I mean, that's a good thing, but in a way it is bad. I don't know anything other than what has happened since 2012. Right. So I don't have much to compare it to. Ultimately, from when I was a nurse to went to adult, I'm making a shit ton more. Okay. And I'm grateful for that. But a lot, you'll hear a lot of the old school, like directors and producers saying oh my god like you know i don't make near as much and and they don't um but for me um from 2012 to 2019 i i i'm grateful because i make a lot more because there are more platforms for the performer to kind of do their own type of content. But I think, too, the shift of what people want, like the millennials want something different than what maybe the people in the 2000s did.
Contract Stars vs. LPN Matter (58:24)
millennials want something different than what maybe the people in the 2000s did you know they wanted that dvd the unattainable the girl that they couldn't kind of connect with where they maybe had to write and i still get some of those you know 50 60 year old guys who will send me notes and letters and cards and things to my p.o box where they're not really into the internet yeah you know but a majority of my fan base is 19 to 34. They're the millennials who, who want the Snapchat. They want the only fans. They want the amateur type stuff. So from, I know that it has changed and a lot of the old like diabolic and a lot of those old school producers, they've lost a lot of money, but it is really become more beneficial to the performer, to the top performers where they can monetize on you know having a fan base and being able to cater to to um the snapchatters and the people that want that in the here in the now like right now what you're doing type thing so i didn't really answer your question that was really long and long and long but no you answered beautifully because like the days of the contract stars, like I remember the first book that I can really remember reading for pleasure was Jenna Jameson's How to Make Love Like a Porn Star. I still have it right in this box, right? I was 18 or 19 and I hadn't read like just to read, right? We're in college, you're reading textbooks. And I'm like, I was so fascinated, right? Just by the story of her life like it's and for me it's never been from a judgmental place it's always been just a general curiosity it's like what goes on and I don't adhere to the thing of like you have to be abused it has to be like yeah no just everybody has their own path and we all like how did she get to like where she like get to like where she like and she i mean she is to this day like everybody knows jenna jameson she was the queen of porn like everybody knows heard her name or knows of her story or watched something yeah like and it is what it is the first naked woman in radio and howard stern's private parts right like it was like this woman was The first naked woman in radio on Howard Stern's private parts, right? Like it was like, this woman was everywhere at that time in life. Beautiful. Yeah. Absolutely. And to see, like from that book, it was a big, if I remember, like contract stars. Like you got signed to so many numbers of films with a production studio. Yes. It was a very prestigious type thing. When you were a contract star, it was like, oh my God, she's contracted with Vivid. She's contracted with Hustler or whoever it would be. And that was a way that you could kind of gauge a star. And these days when they're contracted, it's not as prestigious. There's a lot more of them. There's a lot less value. But it's still kind of cool. It is still kind of cool. Like, I still think it's a really cool thing. We just signed a girl. Her name is Desiree DeLuca. And, you know, or Dolce, excuse me, Des's hard to kind of get me excited in this industry because so many girls come and go and the turnover and whatever. And true porn stars are really, truly hard to come by these days. But I'm really excited for her. And she just got signed to a contract with Manwin or Brazzers and I really feel strongly about her and and not too many people get me excited I'm really excited for her. So guys Take notes Desiree Dolce and a beautiful girl. So I'm really excited about her. So contract star excited about wonderful, so What is is? So I'm really excited about her. So contract star, excited about. Wonderful. So what is, I don't want to say is there life after porn, but right? Is there a time where you can imagine like, are you going the Nina Hartley route where you'll be, I have no idea how old she is, but is this like, hey, for the next 40 years, I can see myself doing this or is this, hey, you know, at some point, I'm going to just diversify and just focus on the business aspect of life what does that look like for you good question you're such a good interviewer right flatter me yeah thank you so much yes you are you do a good job great questions you know in all honesty I I feel that I'm a part of me like I said it's always been and sexual and I probably always will feel that way. However, I feel I have a shelf life and, and for me personally, I've accomplished pretty much everything that I've wanted to accomplish in adult.
Attractive business endeavors (01:02:17)
So I'd like to perform for another few years, but ultimately I'm always, my wheels are always turning and I'm always thinking you know how can I be successful not having to be in front of the camera and my in my husband will say oh gosh if it's in front of the camera you always want to be there you know you but you gotta think long-term you know so he and it's and it's not like from a jealous or an angry place but he's thinking work smarter, not harder. Of course. You don't always want to have to be traveling. And, you know, traveling wears on you. And, you know, you get all anxious when you're away and those types of things. So let's, you know, think smarter, not harder. Let's, you know, just because you have to work, like you're good at sex. You know that. I know that. Everybody knows that. have to work like you're good at sex every you know that I know that everybody knows that but like when you have to put some effort into something you know like don't get so like bent out of shape about it and he's right you know just you know sometimes I do because I'm like oh god I'm not good at I gotta actually put effort into that shit like you know so I get pissed off about it but but he's absolutely right you know and and for me though I have to feel passionate about it and about my book, I feel passionate about it because, I don't want to say, oh, because it's about me, but because it's exciting to me. I'm excited to be able to share a little bit about my history and my past, good, bad, ugly, and indifferent, you know, with my fans. And, and I take pride in it because it's, it's about my family and my friends and where I've come and the struggles and where we are. So for me, I'm passionate about that. Um, and then I talked to you about how I'm working on a new project and I'm extremely passionate about that and I I haven't like I love performing and I'm passionate about that but aside from porn I haven't been passionate about anything other than my family and what they're involved in in a long time so for me it's a good thing like and I love it and I love feeling that fire and sometimes you meet people for a reason you become friends with people and they evoke a different spark within you and and it's a good thing so I'm excited working on my book and I'm working on this other really cool project and and I'm I'm excited I'm passionate and I'm on fire like sometimes too much and he's like okay are you coming to bed? Like how many, how much longer?
Combining Personal And Professional Roles
The projects coming up (01:04:58)
But it's a good thing. Well, I certainly won't spill the beans, but the new project is you shared it with me is a phenomenal need in the marketplace that will certainly keep you in front. Like it will change the way. It'll change. Like a lot of the millennials think that they're doing all of these things right, and they're really not. And it's not a negative thing, but just in general, I think guys in general don't understand how women think or what they want. And I'm here to just be honest and explain and help. just be honest and and and explain and help like if you like sex then you need to get on board with my project and that's it if you want to become better at sex if you want to become a better lover if you want to make your woman happy if if you want to be in a long-term relationship that's going to last from somebody who knows okay i've been with the same guy for how long? Forever. Like I said, I'm not perfect at it. He's way fucking better. He's the way better partner on all levels. Sexually, we're equal, but I'm a little bit more greedy. He's a great lover and I'm a good lover, but he's less greedy than I am. But I'm just saying, ultimately, So, but I'm just saying, ultimately for somebody who's been through it, I'm sexually experienced. I want to share that. I want you to be able to have a great sexual chemistry with your wife or your partner. And if that's what you want, then you need to tune in to what I'm doing. I couldn't agree more. I find it very fascinating what the adult industry has done to the perception of sex for right on 35. So we go 30 to 18 right now. And what is normal or expected from a male standpoint, right? Oh my gosh. Majority of us have watched or do consistently consume porn. Yes, 100%. And you assume every woman is going to perform like the star you might be watching get real right but it's not happening no but it's just it's like it's and not not to bastardize the industry no but it's not it's like man there's this unreal like it's it it is truly a performance right like it's a sexual art just like when you when you watch you know johnny depp and you know some of these these the actresses and actors they're they're performing uh uh an art okay the art of acting and getting you emotionally involved and attached to what they're doing okay i would i just went to see dumbo and like i was moved by dumbo okay i was like oh my god you know so it's like okay yeah, that did it for me. So they're doing their job. Just like when you're watching a film, like we're doing our job, but ultimately it's not reality.
Poros Reality. (01:08:15)
Okay. Dumbo's not going to fly and every girl's not going to squirt. Okay. Yeah. That's it. That's the good, the bad, the ugly. okay yeah that's it that's the good the bad the ugly every woman is capable but if you're you're going to be the partner that wants to take the time and if your partner actually wants to do it because not all girls actually want to I don't even like squirting I'll be honest it does not feel that fucking good I could care less it does nothing for me so it's getting to know your partner anyway there's more to it than what meets the eye so is porn reality no it's not is it a teaching tool is it you know on some levels yes but ultimately it is just a show to get you to where you need to be for that moment it is it serves a purpose sexual satisfaction sexual release and that is it is not reality to get you to where you need to be for that moment. It is, it serves a purpose.
How Much of What Happens (01:09:04)
Sexual satisfaction, sexual release, and that is it. It is not reality. And that's it. So when you say not reality, right, you love sex. I do, I do enjoy sex very much. How much of what happens on the scene, obviously you're flowing, you're in the moment, there's gotta be some scenes where it's just like, everything that's there is actually real. And then there's some, I say real right but yeah, but there's gonna be some scenes that require a much different skill in acting a 100% a hundred percent, you know and all that is relative what director you're working with. Who's your talent? 98% of the people I work with, I'm not sexually attracted to. Okay? So when you are there on set, you need to kind of go to that place to kind of get to where you need to be to perform that scene. Because ultimately, at the end of the day, you are being paid for a sexual performance. That is it. That is it. You are not being paid to connect with this person. You're not being paid to like this person. You're not being paid to enjoy their company or what they have to say or even like what they're wearing or the role they're playing or what they do in their off time. You don't give a shit. You are there to connect with that person on a sexual level, to be able to do your performance and get the job done so that viewers like what you're doing.
So you get hired again. Okay. That's it. That's it. Nothing more, nothing less. Um, and how well you do that will determine if you're going to succeed this industry or or not so your question again was I lost it no it's alright it was just essentially setting up that framework for how much of it is yeah yeah I mean obviously like you said I think you really answered it with there's I don't care to name names but there's a handful of people that you're attracted not even attracted to but like very few it's easier to flow and then the rest is like i gotta put on the acting hat and it is and and you know at at the end of the day it's like if your director's happy your male talent is able to perform that's a good day because there's days where you're dealing with a director that's really difficult, and you're dealing with male talent that can't keep a shit together for whatever reason. Okay, as girls, we can fake it. You cannot.
You must separate your personal and private roles leagues (01:11:14)
So, you know, it's not as easy as people think, because I've been on set with people that I find completely unattractive, annoying as fuck. And I have to perform a scene. If they feel any vibe that I'm completely unattractive or that they annoy the shit out of me, what do you think that's going to affect exactly things downstairs? And what do you think that's going to affect? That's going to make my day a lot longer, you know, and things might not go as planned. So, you know, so at the end of the day, I am, you know, I am Kendra Lust when I'm working, but I'm a completely different human being offset, you know, and, but I do what I have to do to get the job done because I'm paid to be an actress and that's what I do. And I like what I do, um, ultimately, but are some days easier than others? Yes. You know, but for the most part, um, it is more mental than it is physical. I can do the physical, physical is no problem, but mentally it is, it is, it's a mind fuck a lot of times to put it bluntly. It is. I love it. I love the candor, right? These are all things. So much of this is literally my 100% curiosity and just being honored to get to know you in theor, right? These are all things I'm just... It is. So much of this is literally my 100% curiosity and just being honored to get to know you in the industry, right? It's been a part of my life. Admittedly, for the past three or four years, it hasn't been, right? Being married, it's been... Things change. Yeah, they do, right? It's just an evolutionary spot. But if I really look from 10, just about, until 32. Porn was my go-to, right? I'm talking a couple times a day of just like, you're bored, you look. Like it was just like a carnal response for me.
Why Scorsese often has Bitchy scenes (01:13:11)
Yeah, yeah, I get it. And so as you look at your scenes, right, you're very specific with how much you care about your family and how much your home, and like that is first and foremost. Always. And you have a very regimented schedule on how you travel and what you do you've shared that with me seven days a month if I'm traveling eight days it pisses me off and my talent manager Randy will say he'll say to Chuck I know she's probably gonna say no but like talk to her like you know this is beneficial for her career because he does have my best interest at heart and both of them always no matter what sometimes I'll get pissy with them but at the end of the day I know that they have my best interest at heart and it's only going to benefit you know my brand and and you know our future and I understand that so um I really really try to stick to my seven days a month if it gets more more than that, I get a little bitchy. Because at the end of the day, my priority is my family. That's it. And I'm not trying to say I'm any better or any different. We all have different priorities, and it's all relative to our situation. If I didn't have kids and I didn't have a husband that was amazing, then I might want to be gone more you know I would be like fuck it I'm I'm out deuces you know I'm gonna chase every dollar but ultimately I really like being home I really like being Michelle that's who I am okay you can google my name it's not a secret anymore you know and I and I like being home is it hard to shut it off sometimes is it hard to separate yes but at the end of the day i'm really good with just just being me and being home with my family and hanging out yeah no kind of boring kind of nerdy he makes me way cool i don't even know how to pick out cool shoes he picks out my sne out my sneakers, my gym shoes, all that stuff. Because I always pick out the not so cute stuff. So, yeah. So, with that seven days, are you shooting all seven days? How often are you shooting scenes right now? Okay, so I fly out on Tuesday. I'm heading to Miami. I'm going to shoot like four scenes. And then I'm like travel days are like two days or whatever. So a day before I'll get in, I'll shoot four and then a day of travel. So it's like six days. Sometimes I'll do like store signings for my toy. Sometimes I'll feature dance. or signings for my toy. Sometimes I'll feature dance. Sometimes I'm doing photo shoots or traveling for business with a new project, trying to collaborate with people, whether they be in a different country. Sometimes you have to actually meet them to talk to them. It's better doing that than over the phone. So it just depends. Sometimes it's just shooting content because you can only do so much with yourself at home you know solo here solo there it gets kind of boring so right so you just kind of want to mix it up yeah have you ever thought about bringing your husband on film you know I thought just for like my only fan stuff and like he'll entertain a little bit like touching and and it's not that he's not endowed enough to be able to be on film I think it's just not his thing and for him and I when we have sex he wants it to be not on film because he's like, I just, that's not how I operate. It's just not me.
Fan Engagement And Lessons Learned
Requiring a penis in private work has come up (01:16:13)
Like, and I think he wants it to be something special, like between him and I. And it's like, I don't operate like that. I'm not porn. This is you and I. I don't want everything that we do to be like things that we do to be on film. Like that's your thing, but this is us. So for for him I think it's a little bit more more sacred you know um and it's more about us than it is about making money and I get that and that's fine and I respect that um but would I make more money doing like some of my only fan stuff 100% if I had his you know penis inside me 100% you know they want to see that yeah but um but you know I have to respect what he wants and that's not what he you know he's not comfortable with it and you know and and he's great at sex like I said he's amazing and we have great sex but for him I think he wants that just for us and I get that so absolutely yeah Just a few more questions that come to mind I appreciate that Hanging out around we'll just say greater Detroit make it a little nebulous how often does somebody come up and like recognize you ask for it like right cuz You're incredibly well known right famous. I mean one of the top performance. I don't know how you look at it I know you're humble about it, but your name precedes you a little bit.
Fan encounter stories (01:17:29)
Yeah. Is it something you go to the local grocery store and somebody comes up and is like, I know you. Can I get a picture with you? Or is it kind of like you see people looking at you from afar that because porn can still have this taboo to it that they don't want to come up and say that they know you? Yeah, good question. You know, I don't want to come up and say that they know you yeah good question you know i um i don't know maybe chuck would be better at answering it uh than i would but um sometimes people come up to me you know and like at the gym and um they'll be like hey and i don't know if it's word travels faster they just know women i don't know but um i i try generally not to ever deny a picture no matter how bad I look just because I always think like ah they might not get a chance to to like do it again even if they're local you never know so I even if I look shitty I just try to say okay no problem cool and I try to be kind because I always think like you know if I were like 18 and I saw like some hot older guy or something, I'd be like wanting to tell my girlfriends or something. So I try to think of it like put it into a guy's perspective. I'm like, okay, that's cool. You know, but I lie. I do lie because I have denied pictures. When I was with my little one at a wrestling event, they're like, can I get pictures?
Being a pre-teen (01:19:19)
So if I'm with my daughter, I won't. Our daughter, I won't just because I'm like, you know, it's not a good time, you know, whatever. You know, so I lie, I have. But if I'm alone, I never deny a picture. So it happens, you know, and then sometimes I'll just get like a message like, oh, I didn't want to just bug you, but I did see you or whatever. So I mean, I don't sit and think about it. I don't really know what happens. Yeah, it happens here and there of course and you brought up your daughter which is mm-hmm but let's fast forward we'll say six years I keep thinking about you interviewing her earlier which was wonderful I had the phenomenal chance sit with your daughter here right now I couldn't listen to it I'm like I know she's she's something else but anyway she's amazing I. But anyway, we won't talk about that. No, she's amazing. I mean, such a great little athlete and so articulate. I mean, she was wonderful. Truly, like it was enjoyable. She'll make a name for herself, I have no doubt. Oh my God, she's something. But as we fast forward, let's say six years. Okay. And she goes from seven to 13. Mm-hmm. And boys are running around and it ends up being hey this is this is the woman has the same name and looks like your mom but has a different name right has the same look right right but I think we're so different right but as far as what happens or have you thought about what it looks like to have the conversation with her about this part of life? You know, good question, because that was something that had bothered me for a long time, you know. And I actually reached out to, like my husband had always reassured me, like, you know, don't worry about it. You know, just don't think about it. We'll handle it when the time comes and, you know, just be you and, you know, just don't, don't think about it. We'll handle it when the time comes and, you know, just be you and, and, you know, whatever. And he talked, I, I've heard him, you know, talk to her. Um, and you know, when he's laying her down to sleep, I'll say, you know, you know, your, your mama, you know, she has to leave for work tomorrow and she doesn't want to leave, but she has to leave, you know, for work because, you know, mama works so she can give you a good life and give us a good life. And she loves you and she misses you and she wishes she didn't have to work, you know, go to work, but she does and whatever. And he'll, you know, he'll say, you know, you never let anyone say anything bad about your mom. Your mom loves you. You always defend your mom. And she, you know, I don't know what defend means, that type of thing. But he's, you always, you know, stick up for your mom. Someone says, you always you know stick up for your mom someone says anything you always stick up for your mom because your mom loves you or whatever so so I think you know and he's always been very consistent with that and um you know and I I think I we try to raise her to be strong you know she does her little boxing thing and I always think okay she's gonna have to learn something because someone's gonna talk shit about her mom so she's gonna have to be able to defend them or knock them out.
And she's pretty tough, but that was just by chance. It happened that she was interested in that. So I have thought about the conversation, but I think that we are raising her to be strong, to be, she's very strong willed anyway. So that's a good thing. She's not a follower. She's very much a leader, very competitive, which is a good thing. So not a follower she's very much a leader very competitive which is a good thing so I'm I'm grateful that she has those qualities and she's not meek and and and you know timid and and and those things she's kind of like yeah you know it is what it is she speaks her mind which is good and bad but but you know I do think about that conversation but I think you know that we have and that we're raising her away where she's not ashamed I always you know I'll walk and I'll walk around sometimes and without my shirt on and without and I you know my clothes on and she'll say mom you know your pink butt you know your big butt or whatever what's your you know these goofy little things and I'm like you know what mama's proud of her body you should never be embarrassed of your body this is how we were born this is how we're made and I'm you know I feel beautiful and sexy I don't want to hear that you know that type of thing but you know so I'm trying to just we're trying to raise her to be strong and and and not be ashamed of who we are and you know that type of thing and I you know when the time comes that time is, because I know 13 is like the new 17 and that type of thing. Um, I, I'm not ashamed of, of who I am. I'm not ashamed of what I do. You know, people say, well, would you want your daughter do the same thing? And I'll be a hypocrite and say, not at a young age. If she were married, like I was, if she were educated, like I was, and I am, she were married like I was if she were educated like I was and I am and her husband were okay with that then I would be okay with that because that would be an a decision an informed decision when she was you know accomplished and and and successful and already and if that was something that she wanted to do then I would be okay with it would I be okay with her she's 21 absolutely not you're you don't have a degree you're not you, uh, you don't know what you want in life. You're not secure with who you are.
How to handle 18 year old daughter dating (01:23:55)
You know, those, there's a lot of unanswered questions, but, um, when the time comes, we are prepared and we do know how to handle it. And, and, um, or we feel we have a good handle on it, but you don't really know you can prepare and to the best of your ability and and um you know and hope that she's okay with it and if not then you know there's so much that that we can do well after seeing the interaction between you two i have no doubt that she'll be okay with it no i mean i hope she's a little sassy thing but that's a good thing like i said honestly i like it i like it i Like I said, I would much rather her be like an alpha female opposed to, you know, somebody who's going to just kind of go with the flow and do what everybody else is doing. And I love the fact that she's strong and she's feisty, and that's a good thing. It may be a struggle as a parent, but, you know, the main thing is at the end of the day, she respects authority in school she gets good grades she's she's there's no behavioral issues in school those types of things so she's a little sassy at the house you know we can handle that but the main thing is when she's in society she kind of knows what she needs to do when she does it regardless if she likes it or not because you say i don't even know why school is a thing mom i'm like because it is and you have to go you don't have a choice right so Kendra if someone listening wants to track you down find you track you down is bad right I know track you down yeah connect with you right social handles emails websites where where do they get to you at okay perfect so um obviously I'm on Twitter and Instagram which is just Kendra Lust. It's Kendra Lust. I have a website, KendraLust.com.
Connect With (01:25:11)
And then I'm going to be launching AskKendraLust.com. So that is the definite thing that you guys want to tune into because that's where I'll be engaging quite a bit with with fans and both men and women and yeah there'll be a lot of cool stuff to to be I don't know discussed so yeah look forward to that and then Kendra if you were to leave the listeners with one message one takeaway one thing that you wish everybody know what would it be I love that question and this is something I say over and over and over. And I just want people to know that what you do does not define who you are. So because you're a doctor doesn't mean that, you know, you're a doctor all the time.
Final Message (01:26:12)
You know, um, yes, I do film, I do porn, whatever, whatever you want to call it. But it doesn't define who I am. That is not does not encompass all of me. There is more to me. That is a small facet, okay, of who I am. And not that I have to prove anything to anyone, but at the end of the day what you do does not define who you are inside. So, that's it. That's so beautiful. Kendra. Thank you so much Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. I mean your gosh. I finally looked at the camera We're like just chatting blah blah blah should be it's not even here. Right? Yeah this bad hair all whatever Anyway, it's good. Cool. Well, thank you for having me. Yes.