How to Love the Process | Preston Smiles on Impact Theory | Transcription

Note: This transcription is split and grouped by topics and subtopics. You can navigate through the Table of Contents on the left. It's interactive. All paragraphs are timed to the original video. Click on the time (e.g., 01:53) to jump to the specific portion of the video.

Opening Remarks

Intro (00:00)

- Hey everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. You were here my friends because you believe that human potential is nearly limitless, but you know that having potential is not the same is actually doing something with it. So our goal with this show and company is to introduce you to the people and ideas that will help you actually execute on your dreams. All right, today's guest is essentially the real-life Fresh Prince of Bel Air after being placed in special ed class, becoming very angry and rebellious and finally narrowly escaping a fate that saw several of his friends shot and one of them killed. He asked his parents to send him away. Without knowing where he'd end up, he found himself stepping off a plane in Pittsburgh and being welcomed in by a family friend who lived in one of the wealthiest public school districts in the country. Now, the only black man in the entire school, he discovered that while the context was different, it was just as easy to find the drugs, gangs, and destructive behavior that had sent him packing in the first place. But in this new context, with different expectations, the same behaviors had a very different result. His new and old friends both acted the same, but his old friends were headed to jail and his new friends were headed to Yale. The realization that merely changing the context could have such a dramatic impact on everything, he began to question everything. What followed was a slowly unfolding parade of insights and self-reflection that would ultimately see him transform his entire life from an angry, hard-headed, self-identified dumb kid that people said was closed off to being the founder of LoveMob and the self-proclaimed chief love officer of his own company, which is designed from the ground up to spread love and connection. Today, he didn't go to jail or Yale, but instead travels the globe building clean water wells, giving life-changing seminars, creating video content and touching lives wherever he goes. He's also an author with Simon & Schuster and has written two books, Love Laughter and Now or Never co-authored by his wife, Alexi Panos. Please help me in welcoming the CEO and founder of Motivational Messenger and The Bridge Method, the man that Jack Kenfield, best-selling author of Chicken Soup for the Soul, calls unstoppable. Preston Smiles. - Welcome to my guest. - Yeah, thank you. - It's good to have you, man. - Here. - Indeed. - Indeed. - Ooh, ooh. - I was waiting for that. - Yeah, yeah. - I've seen so many of your videos. I'm like, if I don't get the woo woo. - Oh, you go get it. I'm gonna give it to you in like seven times. - Fair enough, man. So I think the coolest place to start with you would be to talk about the difference between facts and stories. So how do you define them and why is that so important to what you teach people? - Yeah. So we're your meaning-making machines. And it's what we do as humans. It's how we've survived. We've made meaning out of, in the bush, you know? That means Sabretooth Tiger. That means dead, right? And so we're constantly creating stories. Most of the time, these stories are not facts. They're facts within our own consciousness. We believe they're facts, but the truth of the matter is that they aren't. Most of it is a lowercase t and not a capital t. And so for me, when I'm supporting people and coaching people, I really hold the mirror up and remind them that if it can be grounded in another way, then it does not indeed affect and more of a story that's running their lives. - When you say it can be grounded in another way, what do you mean?

Journey Of Self-Discovery And Personal Growth

Fulfilling your desires (03:39)

- So prime example, people will come and they'll say, you know, like, I wanna date. And like, yeah, I wanna guide, I'm ready for my one. But like all the guys in like LA are like players, right? As if this is a fact. And, you know, it is done until you as you believe. And so we're always creating our reality with our thoughts, our words and our actions, right? And so when we put emotion behind that and we say it as if it's definitive, then the universe has to match that. So, and so it is. And so when people come to me with these type of scenarios, I say, well, is that actually a fact? Out of the 12 million people in Los Angeles, is it a fact that you know that all of them, every single one of them is a player? And in that, we can ground it the other way. Well, no, I don't know that. But I went on bumble one time and, you know, this guy was this or I was on mesh.com and it didn't work. Ah, interesting. So you gave up early. And this is the funny thing about amazing adults is we'll typically try things about three times and then give up. That's interesting. Yeah. And kids, you know, anybody who's ever seen kids, they will try and try and try and play and fall and fall in love with the process and the journey, you know? And so what I'm essentially doing is redirecting and supporting them and falling in love with the journey, falling in love with where they need to go within their own selves to create that partner, that business, that whatever it is that's on their heart. So a couple of things you've said in there that I think are really important.

Soft metrics (05:24)

I wanna dive deeper. So one is the notion that we create our own reality, which I think is really important for people to understand. And then the other is play and you talk about play a lot. And here, so it started at Quest as we got bigger, I started getting really paranoid that I didn't touch enough people and so I couldn't get a really good pulse on what was going on from like the heartbeat of the community, like how everybody in the company really felt. And so I became obsessed with this notion of soft metrics. And so one of my soft metrics became laughter. And it was like the amount of laughter that I hear, I need to believe that, right? So if there's a lot of laughter, I can believe that people are playing, they're having a lot of fun, which I also believe is so important to really doing your best and whether that's 'cause like a child, it just gives you the energy to keep trying and trying and trying. Or just that it's fun and so it's good brain chemistry and you're more likely to just keep being a part, a vibrant part of the community. And hearing the times where it diminished, I needed to trust that as well. And so that that meant that we were going in the wrong direction.

How did Preston discover play (06:25)

So walk me through like knowing how you talk about yourself when you were a kid, which is aggressive, angry, how did you discover play and how have you re-put it back into your life, how did you go from being angry to so playful? Ah, yes, I started as the quantum, powerful, happy child that then based on a set of circumstances which I'm so grateful for now, went down a road, you know, took a path. And that path led me to seeking approval outside of myself, which ended me up in a gang and smoking weed by the time I was 11 and having my friends be shot and killed and we used to do all kinds of stuff. It was crazy and what's interesting is, is a lot of that for me, I attest to not processing the traumas that I experienced. And so the reason why I'm so playful now is because I have all this energetic real estate that's clear. You know, we teach in the bridge experience which is my wife and I's company that the body is a living library and it stores all the traumas, everything we've ever been through. And so if we never allow ourselves to process these traumas, if we never allow ourselves, I never let the nine year old cry or the 13 year old or the 16 year old or the 17 year old. I never let him cry, I never let him experience the pain that he was feeling. And because of that, it just got stuck in my body. And so by the time I was 17, I was a rageaholic because also, because I grew up in a Western culture where big boys don't cry. And so you're told to man up, not to be a pussy. And so for me, this was the way I lived. And the question we always have to ask now is at what cost? And for me, at what cost it was at the cost of my happiness, at the cost of my joy, at the cost of my magic. And so when I started the process of diving into the places that I was most afraid to go into and freeing that up, it also freed me up to be more childlike. And so for me, play is highly important.

The American nightmare (08:46)

So I schedule it in every single day. - Really? - Yes. - Like it's actually on your calendar. - In my schedule. - That's amazing. Does it say play? - Yes. - Or do you actually put a specific thing in one? - Creativity, surfing, I'll play with it, but it's in there. - Right. - It has to happen. - Wow. - Because I know that that's how I fill my cup. And when my cup is full, I can give from the overflow. And that overflow is a beautiful thing. It's very difficult, I've found in my experience, to give when you don't have it. To give, and a lot of people think that if I just keep giving, if I just keep focusing out, which is a beautiful thing, if the context of it is actually service and not wanting to be approved of. If I keep giving to everybody else, then I'll finally be good enough. If I do all of these things, if I go to school and I get good grades, I get good grades, so I can get into a good college. And I do the whole thing, so I can finally be good enough. It's this contingency plan that I found has been what you would call the American nightmare. - That's interesting. So put a real fine point in that. What is the American nightmare? - When I do this, blank. Then later in the future, I will finally have blank.

The Velveteen Rabbit (10:09)

- Right, that contingency. - Yes, yes. My happiness is contingent on this. - Yes. - Security, worthiness, worthiness is a huge one. A lot of people, I find that come to me for coaching. What's under it is, is they don't think they're good enough. And so they come to me, I have people who have way more money than me, and they've accomplished more. But they come to me because they know I'm free. Because no matter what I have or don't have, I'm all good, man. - All right, this is super random, but this is one of those things that I'm, okay, so you've written two books, checked the books out, they're incredible. I'm always fascinated by where people start their book. And this is how you and your wife started Now or Never. And it's a quote from the Velveteen Rabbit. - Yes. - Which I was just really, really intrigued, and I want to know why this is so meaningful that you would start the book with it. All right, so bear with me, I'm gonna read the whole section. Real isn't how you were made, it's a thing that happens to you. It doesn't happen all at once, you become. It takes a long time, that's why it doesn't often happen to people who break easily or have sharp edges or who have to be carefully kept. Generally, by the time you are real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out, and you get loose in the joints and very shabby. But these things don't matter at all, because once you are real, you can't be ugly except to those who don't understand. - Yes, yes. What does that mean? - Ooh, gave me the chills. - Yes, yes, there's a lot in there. The short answer would be, it's not a matter of becoming, it's a matter of revealing. And this revealing is an ongoing process. The trap of the human is that we're all trying to land. We're trying to get the job, get the girl, get the house, get the thing, and then I'll finally, damn, let no more problems, it's done, I'm good. Right, and so when the Velveteen Rabbit says, by the time you experience this, your hair has been loved off and all of these things, I think what they're implying, and what we were going for in this process is that it's the end of game learning. It's very easy to sit on the sidelines and talk about life. But to be in life, to be, like for instance, prime example, my wife and I were always looking for our edges. So like, what's that thing for me that's uncomfortable? Play, I can get in there in a minute, right? Humans, I can get in there in a minute. Like just instant, but my edge right now is owning that I am a businessman because I've had this story that has been well crafted by the media and everyone else that young black males, that's not what they represent in movies, in TV, and all of these other things, right? And so for me, my edge is 1.7 million in the next 12 months, right? And so to put a number on it, and to see who I become, 'cause that's the thing I'm most excited about. The money, it'll come, it'll go. Can't take it with me. Fantastic, I already got enough now. I'm already wealthy, but it's who I have to become in order to create that is the thing I'm most excited about. That's what's gonna get the hair rubbed off of my velveteen rabbit. You follow me? - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - That's the far eye, let's get it. - Let's get it. - Yeah, let's get it. - Let's get it. - I love the energy at the end, because that's how reading that section, I think that's the juice, right? Is that you got so fucking messy and into it, you just went for it, and it's in that process that while you may be getting somewhat worn or even like tattered, right? She says, you're outright shabby, but you went all in, and it's that concept of, you know, leaving nothing on the field and not worrying about, and you talk very eloquently about this, but not worrying about looking pretty, and that's, you know, one of the diminishers, and we'll get into diminishers a little bit, but like not falling prey to all of that, but instead like really going in and living an extraordinary life because you've created that space that you were talking about earlier, where you're really open to the experiences to, you talk, like this is one thing I really like, but what you do, which is you talk about the science of what's happening, you talk about the reticular activating system, you talk about, so for those who don't know, the reticular activating system is a part of your brain that triggers, once you decide something is important, you buy a car, and then suddenly you see that car everywhere. - Yes. - And you use it in the example, I think, very wisely, of you get what you focus on, right? So if you're focusing on becoming a businessman, suddenly you're gonna see the answers popping up everywhere, when you focus on the belief that you can do it, suddenly you embody that. - Evidence. - So it's really, really intriguing. So one of the neatest things that I found in researching you is how you take, 'cause your ideas are, you're able to go seamlessly from what you've referred to as woo woo, to like immediately applicable. - Yes.

From Woo Woo to Evidence (15:07)

- And so one of the things I wanted to do is go through the way that you guys break down the five steps to basically build the bridge from where you are to where you wanna be, in the book, Now or Never. I think these are incredibly powerful, and we won't go through them all, but there are five steps in the book, some really interesting insights. Number three was probably my favorite, which was act now. And you call this the bridge to breaking the cycle. You talk about the comfort zone.

Stepping out of the comfort zone (15:46)

So you say the comfort zones were dreams go to die. How do people, by the way, in the book, and I should have brought, this is the first time ever in my life of doing these interviews, and I've done like 200, that I was gonna bring visual aids and shit, 'cause you have all these really simple, but beautiful diagrams. In fact, I've even turned my phone up, otherwise I would just take my phone up, 'cause I took pictures of them, 'cause I thought they were so simple and eloquent. But how do people, so the image that you had of the comfort zone was it showed like Lazy Boy? - Yeah, like a couch. - Right, and then like the simple path going around the woods, which, oh God, what did you call the woods? The practice zone or something? - Yes, yes. - And then you had the castle of possibilities. And I don't know, there was something in that of seeing like the short distance between the Lazy Boy and the castle that I found really interesting. So what is that path? How do people get out of their comfort zone and what awaits them in the castle of possibilities? - Huh, yes. So all of us are on one of those right now. All of us are-- - Other in the covers on the practice zone. - Yes, and the one that we're in was probably our dream from three years ago. Like nine out of 10, and you've been besting for probably the last 15 years, but nine out of 10 where you're sitting now was a dream four years ago. - 100%. - Right? So this is now the new Netflix and chill. - Right. - Right? But it was the castle back then. - Right. That's a really fucking good point. - Yes. So all of us are sitting in what was once, you know, the castle for us. And now it has become the new Netflix and chill. And so stepping out into the forest where there are mutant, you know, like dire wolves and things of that nature, this process is always happening when we are willing to build our dreams. And so what I find interesting is that most people step out, they take one hit, right? So they declare, this is the year that my business does such and such. This is the year that I lose 30 pounds, right? And then what tends to happen is that they go to the gym for the first three months. And then it's raining. And then their cousin has a wedding, right? And well, I'm just gonna go to the wedding. And you know what? Today is the day. I'm just gonna take this weekend off. I'm gonna eat as many donuts as possible. Like it's all good. I'm gonna drink. It's all good. And then they wake up on that Monday with a hangover. And they say, you know what? Not feeling good. I'm just gonna take this Monday off and I'm gonna get back on the horse in a couple of days. And then a couple of days come, right? And it's like, well, you know, because I didn't really like go hard on Monday, I really gotta take care of my emails. And then all of a sudden, they find themselves right back on that couch. And so, what we were attempting to remind people of is that the beauty is in the dance. It's in the hits. A lot of people wanna avoid the hits. You wanna avoid any pain and maximize all the pleasure and just avoid the pain. And for me, this is how I have become me. But the reality is in the force of the unknown, in the testing ground is what we call it. In the testing ground, this is where all of the magic happens. Because what's gonna happen is, is you're gonna get to the castle. We always do, right? And sometimes, and I know you've seen this, we get to the castle, and we put our ladder up and we're about to climb up and we realized that we had it up against a wall that was never our choosing. And so, whether it was your choosing or it wasn't, when you get there, you're gonna celebrate, yes! New house, new business, new girl, new guy, yes! Got the thing, got the thing, yay! Everybody's pumped, everybody's happy, everybody's excited! Now what? New castle, right? And we're back at it again. So, if you understand that no matter where you land, once we hit the 1.7 million in 12 months, all we're gonna do is declare a new vision. Because that's the process, that's what it means to be human. And so, for us, it's a reminder that you're never gonna land. There's never gonna be a time where you're like, yup, I'm done. And we find, and most people know this, that there's so many statistics that say, within five years of someone retiring, that they usually die. Because once you don't feel like you have a purpose, what else is there? - Makes sense, and you talk about one of your, the five steps, which is own who you are. You were just talking about that, I'm really glad that you brought that story up, of where the world is telling you that you need to be a motivational speaker. And so, I read that part in your book, after I've discovered who you really are, right? So, I've spent hours watching the videos where you're you, and it's about love, and it's just big and energetic. And I thought, it never occurred to me, like how sort of left or right of the norm for a motivational speaker, that really is, until you said it. And then you tell the story about how you're hanging with your friends, there's a certain dress code between you and your friends, you go off to college and you come back, and like, would you say, Fuchsia, skinny jeans, and pink converses on it? And I was like, wow, I can totally see you becoming who you really are, but then colliding with that world that has all these, they have a box, and they're trying to fit you back into that box. And you teach people to break out of that box. - Absolutely. - So, what, how does one own themselves? Which I think is, to your point, maybe one of the most damaging things that happens to people is they never do that. - Yes, yeah. Start with an acceptance. That's where, that's where, 'cause it's very difficult to quote unquote, find oneself, because, A, we're forever evolving, right? But it's very difficult if you are judging yourself, if you're punishing yourself.

Finding oneself (22:06)

And so, for me, the first place to start would be acceptance, like, what is here? Ah, okay. What's in my bank account? What's in my emotional bank account? What's happening with my family? All of this I created. Wow, I'm that powerful. And I accept this. I see it. Okay, perfect. Taking a stock of what one has created in their lives and just accepting it. And then, go into a process of letting go of the idea that it could have been any better. You know, that's the thing, is we get to where we go, well, I should have done this, and I should have done that, and I should have done that, and it should themselves to death. And so, I'm constantly bringing us back, and myself back, to a reminder that I did the best I could with the tools and consciousness I had available at the time. And so, what I'm experiencing at this now moment is absolutely perfect.

Slow Down to the Speed of Wisdom (23:05)

Why? Because I still have breath. I still am in the game. Good, bad, ugly, whatever you like to call it. I'm here, and there's so many people that didn't wake up this morning. And so, for me, it's a reminder of accepting what is, and then letting go of what could have been, and then deciding and declaring what I'm excited about, right? Following one's highest excitement, what would be excited, what would make me excited to wake up in the morning? You know? And being in the inquiry, because powerful questions always call for powerful answers. And so, you know, if I'm asking myself disempowering questions, then I'm Google, God, whatever you would like to call it, can only bring back that. It's the same thing. And so, if I'm asking myself, you know, what would be exciting for me to do and give in this lifetime? And then I just sit in the stillness. This is another part of it, is stillness. We've become a society that is moving so fast that there's no space for the universe to speak through and as us. And so, I slow down to the speed of wisdom and allow it to hit me, allow it to take me. You know, we're always receiving pings and taps on the shoulders and things of this nature. But a lot of us, there's so much white noise because we're moving so fast. I slow down to the speed of wisdom. That's fucking good, man. I've never heard that before. I like that a lot. So, talk to me a little bit about, you talk about self-compassion, you talk about self-forgiveness, which I found really interesting in your book. And you almost always include that.

Self Forgiveness (24:47)

Like, it'll be, you need to forgive other people, oh, and by the way yourself. What is the emotional trap that people get into that stops them from doing that? And is there a procedure other than asking better questions, which by the way, I really hope people heard what you were just saying about asking better questions. But is there a process that they can go through that's gonna help them out? 'Cause I think a lot of people are stuck there. A lot, and they get stuck there for decades. Yes. Yes. As pertaining to forgiving oneself or something else. Forgiving yourself. There's many ways, right? I am of the school that there is no one size fits all. But what I will say is I have my clients start with writing a list of 50 amazing things that they've done. And after they get the list of 50, I have them actually stop. And on, for 50 days, each one of those things just stop and meditate it for 10 to 15 minutes and feel into it. Like that thing that I did when I was 19, where that person was almost gonna get hit by a car and I pushed them out of the way, or whatever the case may be, what a beautiful thing I did. And just begin to fall in love with themselves. Another thing that I am constantly reminding my clients to do is dance. Because- Literally dance. Yes, literally dance. Put on a song, something that like, everybody has a song. Everybody has something that you hear that joint and you're going for it. So put on a song that really like, bring some emotion out and dance, right? Dance themselves clean. Because there are some schools of psychology that think that you need to go all the way into, you know, what happened when you were seven in things of this nature. And there are other schools of thought that say, if you just keep filling your cup, if you just keep having more and more fun and enjoying the magic of life, what will happen is, is yourselves, everything will match that. And so there are many ways to go about this, but the overall gist is falling in love, falling in love, starting to become a happy scientist of oneself and bringing a deep awareness to when you are experiencing joy, right? And being purposeful, I have my clients set three alarms and three times a day, the alarm goes up, it's called a joy alarm. And when that alarm goes off, no matter what is happening, I have them put everything down. I don't care if you're in the middle of a meeting, you step up, guys, I'll be like, go in the bathroom and just, right? And just, what does it feel like to be freaking alive? Whoa. - Do you have an anchor to something? - Yes. - Something that is, that they're really grateful for or joyful about or?

Joyful (27:39)

- Yes. - But that's, it's dependent on the client. So yes, but sometimes that's not necessary though. Like whatever. - On a case by case. - Yes, exactly. So if what I first started doing, I didn't anchor it to anything other than all needs met right now. Like what would it feel like if I leaned into all needs met right now? - And is that to acknowledge that all needs really are met? You've got breath into lungs, like that kind of thing? - Yes, because they are. That's the thing, it's illusion that we have to have the next paycheck or the next whatever in order to actually have our needs met, but they are. Like I've been in the middle of India where there is no water or food. And even them, they experience joy. I've been to parts of, and I've done it for the last four years in a row with my wife's organization, parts of Africa and Tanzania, where they don't have anything, but yet they have everything because they live from all needs met. Even though they're getting their water from basically a giant hole that they dug with cow poop and stuff in it. - Here's a question that's always been interesting to me. So do you think that they also struggle, like they have their own version of the Tanzanian nightmare emotionally, right? Obviously the beyond the physical stuff. - Yes. - Like do they fall prey to different mental traps? Is it the same mental traps? - Yes. - I think that you can avoid that. I think that-- - More easily by being in that kind of situation. Or like, so I think one thing I would be very interested, I've never worked in that kind of condition. So I have no first person insights. But having worked in the inner cities here, one thing that I find really interesting is that everyone falls prey to the same shit. It's just on a different like financial scale, but it is the same, right? - Yes. - But you do get certain things that are unique to a circumstance. So I'll say that the frame of reference in the inner cities is so weird that that is what planted the seed me that has become impact theory. It's understanding that no one is ever going to intentionally give them an empowering mindset. So it has to be created around them without them having to do anything for it. So when you go to Tanzania and you experience the, like you told the story of little girl, forgive me, I forget her name, but-- - Upendo. - Upendo. - Okay, so she's got a skin disease and so her entire face is bandaged, one eye, but she's still singing. And in that moment you realize, whoa, like all needs are met, like their real joy emanating from this child and it's infecting everybody, it's incredible. But I've got to imagine that A, she has her bad days as well, and that everybody in the village, while they also have sparks of joy that are born despite where they are. But I'm guessing that there are some-- - They have some-- - Are the traps universal? Are they not? Like what does that look like? - Yes, I would say that the degree from which, 'cause like for instance, in Tanzania, particularly in the bush where we go, there are no billboards. There's nothing telling them that they're not pretty enough, that their kinky hair isn't, is nappy and they need to straighten it. There's nothing, they're not seeing images of the white Jesus that says, "Oh, this is good, this is good, this is good, "and you don't look like that, "so now you need to." Right? - So they're not being programmed to keep up with the Joneses. So no, it's not that, but they definitely have their thing everywhere does. We travel to Australia every single year, and then Tall Poppy Syndrome is real in Australia. - Tall Poppy Syndrome, what's that? - So it is basically a consciousness, because Australia was a convict place, is where England pushed all their convicts. This idea that the tallest poppy is the one that gets chopped down. And so you keep yourself sort of level with everyone else, and nobody wants to be too successful, or too boisterous or big, because you will be chopped down by everybody in your community. And so that is actually a thing. It doesn't show up in the US, it's the exact opposite of it. You know, you have a Mercedes and live with your mom, right? Because you wanna pretend like you're better than everyone else. And so every place has its own thing. You know, I just got back from London, England, and their thing is the stiff upper lip, right? Don't talk to me, I'm taking care of myself right now. You know, it's like, and all of those things don't work. It don't work. And so Tanzania, yes, everywhere has a thing. The degree from which they are receiving Western influence has a big part of it. For me, in my experience. So because they're not, you know, being bombarded with imagery that tells them that they're not good enough, its community is still probably number one on the list. So it's everybody's outside their houses. The way it's built is family, all family. If your kids are acting up, I can punish your kid. I don't have to, you know, I won't get sued or whatever the case may be. So it's interesting.

Building wells (32:59)

How do they react when you come in and you're building wells? Are they trying to learn so that they can be self-sufficient? Are they just so used to people coming in now? This is a big deal. Most organizations come in, and that would be, for me, as an outsider, who's really an insider. That would be the biggest issue that Tanzania and lots of Africa experiences is the handout thing. It's kept them from realizing their own kingdom and kingdom. And because it's been set up that way, my wife's organization with her partner, Taneil Amore, the way they do it is we go and we live there and we spend time with them. And the community must build and help and contribute money. It's not just Wazungu, which means foreigner, coming in and giving money. It's all we're doing this together. And because they've been doing it for 12 years in the same country, we go back and I know these people by name, they know me, they know my family, it's a beautiful thing. - It's incredible, man.

Key Concepts And Mindsets

What is The Goal (34:07)

So talk to me, you gave away 80% of your stuff. You are intentionally homeless. - Yes, what is the goal? - Have fun, to see what happens. To be minimalist, what's success to us? Oh, being able to have fun, make love, travel all over the world, support people, reminding them of their truth. - You've said freedom is a mindset, which I'm guessing now I know what you mean by that, but what do you mean by that? - What would be your guess? - Well, hearing the travel and going where you wanna go and being able to decide when you go, being your own boss, like not having anybody tell you when and where to be. - Yes. - I'm guessing that's-- - That's that for me, but I don't think, or think that I'm doing it the right way. So I've found many people who, that's not high on their priorities list, traveling and all of that stuff. So my mom, for example, can and has found freedom in being retired. And so the freedom mindset is just realizing that you're already wealthy, right where you are.

Freedom Mindset (35:15)

Most of the people who are watching this video right now have a cell phone, maybe a computer, a house, food in their refrigerator. Now, now they tend to have a job, and if they don't, they could get one, they can hustle, they can figure it out. That's pretty damn wealthy. But yet and still, there are some watching this right now who believe they don't have it. And they came to get the answers. And for me, that's already an issue. It's one of the things that I do my best to remind people of is that there is no, even though any video I put out that says seven steps two or five steps two, those are the ones that everybody's loving because they want the answer. How can I skip the force of the unknown, get to the castle and finally be good enough, right? But this is a lie. And so I'm constantly reminding the people who watch my stuff that I'm in the process too. It's important that I remind people that nobody has the answer. We're all in the unfolding. We're all trying to figure it out. Everybody's got issues, no matter where you go in the planet. - All right, I cannot let you leave without asking you about everything is neutral.

What is Everything Is Neutral (36:34)

- Yes. - Which I find is so intriguing. What do you mean by everything is neutral? - Yes, so we believe that all events are neutral until we give them a meaning and a story. And so-- - Going broke. - Neutral. - Neutral. - Yeah, until we add a story to it. I have two clients right now. One who has just beat cancer and one who just found out that she has like stage four. And one of the things that's really interesting about this, and I'm gonna use cancer as a, an example, some people find out that they have cancer or they're experiencing cancer and they go, I'm dead, my life's over, right? It was a neutral event until they added the story called, My Life Is Over. Some people hear that they have cancer and they go, game on, game on. I'm about to take my life back and take it to a whole 'nother level, cancer won't beat me. It's the same diagnosis, but two different come froms. And so for me, this is still a neutral event until we make it mean something. I've had an experience, some of the lowest lows, and all of it was neutral until I made it mean that I wasn't good enough or smart enough or pretty enough or whatever, enough I wanna put on it. You follow? - Oh yes. - Yeah. - No, I love that. I think it's really important for people to hear that and you've taken it to some pretty extremes and examples that you've given, I think, to really let people know how serious you are about that. I think it's really, really intriguing.

Closing Statements

Guest Plugs (38:15)

All right, fortunately we are near the end here. Where can people find you online? - At Preston Smiles on everything, or at PrestonSmiles.com. - Perfect. - All right, my final question. What is the impact that you wanna have on the world? - I wanna remind people of love. That love is all there is, was and ever will be. That love is our true essence, it's our gift, it's what we came here to emanate, it's what we're breathing, love is in every fiber of our being and everything that we perceive inwardly and outwardly. - Nice, that's beautiful man. - Yeah, thank you so much for coming on the show. - Oh, thank you. - Guys, you've got an entire universe to dive into with this man and I promise one thing, it will be very high energy, it will be insanely eloquent, it will draw you in and it will change you if you let it. When you hear this guy's story and the things that he's gone through and the transformation that he's put himself through and you realize that he started as dyslexic, but you just heard him talk and he would watch TV and he would get better and it is vocabulary and he would realize what the things were that he wanted to get good at and he would go after them relentlessly pursuing it and really that friction that I was talking about earlier between the wonderment that is, love being all things and the reality of the reticular activating system and knowing that you need goals and that goals are bullshit. Like that friction is where he lives and where he generates these amazing ideas that are really gonna help you because they're gonna ring so true. You'll, something will feel right and then he can explain why it feels right and that's where it gets interesting because he's no longer, even though he's in many ways, talking about faith, he's not asking you to take it on faith and that my friends is what makes Preston Smiles a true original and somebody that's really, really gonna help you if you let it. So dive in my friends, check it out and remember that there's a weekly show so if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends, be legendary. Take care. - Thank you. Thank you guys so much for watching and if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and for exclusive content be sure to sign up for our newsletter. All of that stuff helps us get even more amazing guests on the show and helps us continue to build this community which at the end of the day is all we care about. So thank you guys so much for being a part of the ImpactYerie community. You