Shift Into a Powerful Mindset at Any Time, in Any Situation | David Bayer on Impact Theory | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "Shift Into a Powerful Mindset at Any Time, in Any Situation | David Bayer on Impact Theory".

1970-01-11T22:05:49.000Z

Note: This transcription is split and grouped by topics and subtopics. You can navigate through the Table of Contents on the left. It's interactive. All paragraphs are timed to the original video. Click on the time (e.g., 01:53) to jump to the specific portion of the video.


Introduction

Intro (00:00)

Your beliefs dictate your thoughts, dictate your emotions, dictate your actions, which produce your results, and your results when you look at them, then just reinforce the original belief. And so we're caught in that construct, right? But the linchpin is the belief system. So the question is, how do I actually change what I believe? If my beliefs really do dictate my destiny, right? Which is, I'm not the only person suggesting that. The question becomes, how do I change my beliefs? And in that is an inherent challenge, because by definition, beliefs are that which are true, right, for us. And so then the question is, how do we break out of this? - Everyone, welcome to Impact Theory. Today's guest joins us as an author, speaker, and seven figure entrepreneur, who is widely recognized as an expert on mindset and business. But 10 years ago, he was addicted to drugs and alcohol, and asking himself if this was really all life had to offer. After discovering firsthand that money cannot buy happiness, he embarked on a process of getting clean, and not only diagnosing, but solving, the cause of his suffering. Starting a 12-step program and stumbling upon a book on Buddhism in an airport bookstore, made him realize that the root of his problem lay directly between his own ears. After spending years studying and coming to understand his own mind and also working with a bevy of world class teachers, coaches, mentors, and spiritual leaders from around the world, he has emerged with a system that he believes can help anyone get unstuck and achieve their full potential. He's not the only one with faith in his methods. He's been featured on Business Week, Fox News, Bloomberg Radio, MSNBC, and the Los Angeles Times, and according to Inc, his program called "The Powerful Living Experience" is one of the top three must attend personal development events for entrepreneurs. So please, help me in welcoming the man who has helped countless people transform their lives, the author of Mind Hack, David Bayer. How you doing, Lance? - So good, thank you. - Absolutely, dude, welcome to the show. - Thanks for having me. - Ab, so lutely.


Understanding And Mastering Mind, Body, And Beliefs

Getting Unstuck: Mastering Your Mind, Body, and Being (02:21)

So anybody that can go deep on the notion of getting unstuck is a friend of mine. So I wanna start there. You've talked about how there are three areas of your life that you need to master, and how does that help us get unstuck? - Yeah, so I mean, there's three areas of your life that I think are important, right? One is really mastering your mind, right? Your thought process, and that's nothing new. The real question is, at one level, how do we become more self-aware? The thoughts that are driving all of our process, but more importantly, how do we change our thinking? How do we change the habitual patterns of thinking that we become addicted to? And so that then cascades into our emotional responses that we have with life around us and our perceptions. So how do we reorient ourselves in a way that is congruent with the life that we actually wanna create, or the business that we wanna create, or the relationships that we wanna create, or the health that we wanna have? Because we tend to just continue to experience the same experiences over and over and over and over. And there's nothing fundamentally wrong with us in the fact that we live this sort of Bill Murray Groundhog Day type of existence, right? It's the way the technology and the operating system of the human being has been designed. But now we're entering this really interesting period where I think personal growth is evolving into the next level, where we're able to utilize the tech to really tap into higher levels of intelligence and become, you know, what a lot of people refer to as superhuman. - So what gets people stuck in the first place?


What are beliefs (03:46)

- There are a number of things that get people stuck. I mean, let's talk about beliefs for a second. You know, what are beliefs? Beliefs are the meanings that we gave the experiences of our life, mostly before the age of seven, before a significant portion of the prefrontal cortex is fully formed. We gave meanings to the experiences of our life, or other people gave meanings to the experiences that we were having, right? I remember distinctly one time, I grew up in Orange County, California, and I don't know why in first grade they had to choose which mission we wanted to build along, you know, we had missions sent on Capistrano. - Interesting. - So at a paper mache and clay, I'm building mission sent on Capistrano in my garage and my dad walks in, and he says, "Hey, let me show you a better way to do that." The meaning I gave that experience was I didn't know how to do it right. And just because of the way the technology works, what happens is that starts to shape the lens through which we experiences, the future experiences of our life. So the next time you have an experience, you know, you're approaching that experience through the not knowing how to do it right, and because the brain is a goal achieving machine, that's all we start to notice, right, is what we're not doing right, and in really no recognition of what we're doing well. So we get caught in this psychosybernetic loop, and if you're not aware of it, there's really no way out of it, because in every new experience, you're just gonna continue to focus on that, which reinforces the belief systems that you established or the meaning that you gave the experiences early on, and you're gonna ignore everything else. You become trapped, right, in your own thoughts. - By your own thoughts, by your own belief systems, and now we're really understanding that, those meanings aren't just some sort of marshmallow fluff or kind of esoteric concept. They're actually wired into the neural networks of your brain, like we can't do that today, but in the future, I would imagine we'd be able to brain scan you and go, "Oh, those are the neural networks that light up "when you feel like there's not enough time, "or money's hard to make, or you're not good enough, "or you're not as far long as you should be." And for years, I struggled in the current model of personal growth, because it's one of those things where the current model lends to self-awareness. And when I'm speaking on stage, as I say, how many of you are aware now of your limiting beliefs, and everybody raises their hands to say, how many of you have done the events, you've done the programs, you've done the coaching, you've done the different protocols, you've done the modalities, and make no mistake, I'm not criticizing them, right? This is an evolution of our own ability to change ourselves, and everybody raises their hand, right? They've been in the work, but now they're acutely self-aware, and they have no idea what to do about the patterns of thinking that they're aware of that are causing the stress things that you know of a woman holding them back. So that's where I was at one point. And if there was like a question or a quest I was on, it was how do I go beyond self-awareness and actually begin to change the way I think? - Yeah, that I think is super powerful. So I wanna back up and sort of give people the bricks that you're laying down here, so that this can all stack on itself. So basically people get themselves stuck by the beliefs that they decide, and you've talked very powerfully about that, and we'll need to go into that a little bit here. But so they decide to make a belief, often those beliefs are made when they're young, which I'm super freaked out by how much our youth impacts us. I do not like that. That is a deep problem that I have with the universe. But we start forming these beliefs, and then we get in these loops, literally the whole notion of being stuck is that you've got these beliefs, they are hardwired into your brain. They become the easier thoughts to think, so your brain when it goes into the default network is just gonna go into these loops of negativity, beliefs, I'm not good enough, I'm not doing it the right way, whatever. - Which allows you to build even more evidence for it. - Right, gain more momentum, and so now you're headed down the wrong path. So now, how do we begin to unwind this stuff? So you say, all right, personal development 1.0 does an amazing job of getting people self-awareness, teaches them the tools and tactics to look inward, identify the emotions, all that stuff. How do you now get to the 2.0?


Selfawareness (07:42)

What is personal development 2.0? How does it allow us to leverage that self-awareness to get to the phenom state? - Yeah, that's the question, right? And I think there's a lot of roads to the mountain top. I have the perspective that I have because that was my journey, and I had to start figuring out how to walk in the darkness, because that's kind of what it's like. - What darkness, what do you mean? - Like meaning when you're caught in this psychosybernetic loop. - Can you define psychosybernetics? - Yeah, so it's this idea that what you believe will dictate your thoughts on a moment by moment basis. So if you believe that money is hard to make is a simple example, you're not gonna have ideas or thoughts around money that would be lending to making it easily, right? And so what you believe dictates what you think. You can't get like an apple from an orange tree. And what you think you then experience is an emotion, right? And then that emotion then dictates what actions you do or do not take. And they're always aligned, right? Your beliefs dictate your thoughts, dictate your emotions, dictate your actions, which produce your results. And your results, when you look at them, then just reinforce the original belief. And so we're caught in that construct, right? But the lynch pin is the belief system. So the question is, how do I actually change what I believe? If my beliefs really do dictate my destiny, right? Which is, I'm not the only person suggesting that. The question becomes, how do I change my beliefs? And in that is an inherent challenge because by definition, beliefs are that which are true, right? For us. And so then the question is, how do we break out of this? My way of breaking out of it was at one point to understand, and I'll start to kind of walk you through the structure of it, to understand that there were only two states of emotional beingness that I could be in at any given point in time. I could either be in a powerful state of being, states like joy, curiosity, excitement, calm, peace, passion, or I would be in a primal state of being, boredom, anger, frustration, some form of fear. I'm always in one of those two states, and I'm never in two states at one time.


States of being (09:53)

That those map beautifully to the sympathetic nervous system and the parasympathetic nervous system, right? So at any moment, we're either in fight or flight or we're in rest and relaxation. Through my journey, what I realized was the only cause of that switch to be flipped was my own thinking, the meaning that I was giving the experience. The experience itself wasn't dictating whether I was in a primal state or a powerful state, whether I was in sympathetic fight or flight or parasympathetic rest and restoration or relaxation. It was the meaning I was giving the experience. And so that meant that all of my personal suffering was within my own control. I needed to start controlling the meaning I was giving the experiences of life. And so we started doing this work early. I didn't see this initially in the work that I was doing with myself, but as we started building a team of coaches and as the coaches were coaching people, what we consistently saw was that the quality of the thinking that was causing people to move into a primal state, which was really the only problem, because when you're in a powerful state, you're connected to creativity, to inspiration, to vitality, to energy, health automatically operates. Everything that we want is in a powerful state of being. When you're in a primal state, you don't have access to any of that. So when entrepreneurs say to me, for example, what's the number one thing you would suggest to grow my business, I would say, notice by moment, by moment what state of being you're in and use whatever tools or technologies you have access to to move back into a powerful state. That's where things just unfold. And I'm not saying you don't have to take consistent action and work your ass off to create success. But you do it from a powerful state. It's very hard to do it from a primal state.


Dr Srikumar Rao and the Mini Death Technique (11:34)

What we were seeing consistently was that the quality of thinking that was causing people to move into a primal state when we really looked at it, worked with them around it, was that 100% of the time it was untrue. The only cause-- The thing they were thinking was untrue. I'm not good enough. I'm not smart enough. I'm not smart enough. There's not enough time. Now we can start to talk about the larger metaphysical philosophy behind all of this, right? But I'll give you a prime example. I was working-- personally coaching-- a 29-year-old Egyptian Muslim young man super successful, had his first multi-million dollar business at 19 years old, was running one of the largest companies in his category at 29 years old. And I'd been coaching him, and he was out one night in South Beach with a bunch of movers and shakers. And vice president of the sports team, number one DJ, fashion designers, whatever it was. He called me the next day, and he said, listen, I moved into a primal state last night, and I couldn't get out of it. So I need you to coach me on it. Because I know his vision for his life now, the most important thing for him is to operate from a powerful state of being. I said, OK, so what happened? He said, well, I was there, and I noticed that I started having anxiety. So I know I moved into a primal state. I said, what'd you do next? He said, I took a look at the thinking that was causing it. I said, what did you find? He said, I was thinking that I don't belong here. I was like, OK, got it. So then what did you do? And what we teach-- we teach a couple of things. But what we teach at the highest level of this work is that you're able to actually see the thinking that's not true is not true. And that's different than a lot of the other modalities I tried to use to evolve. You can change your state. You can reframe something. You can come up with a better story. There are amazing tools out there like breath work, plant tech. I mean, there's a bunch of stuff out there, which we can get into. Right? That's a lot of tech. That's nice. There's a bunch of stuff out there. But we're very focused on the personal technology, not the third party tools, right? But explored a lot of them. So what we believe is the fastest way for you to eradicate a limiting belief is to actually see the limiting belief is untrue. And the moment that happens, there's a reorganization in your brain. Like you can't unsee it. Once you see the lie is a lie, right? There's a huge shift. It re-orients you to the experiences of your life. It re-orients you to you, to money, to relationships. So I said to him, so what happened when you saw that you were thinking, I don't belong here. And he says, it seemed true. He goes, now I knew it wasn't. Because he bought in to what we teach. And I said, OK, great. So I'll coach you on it. With coaching, you have a lot of leverage. And you don't always have to use a leverage. I'm going to give you an example of. But I knew he was a spiritual. His faith was very important to him. So I said, let me ask you a question. You believe in God, don't you? He said, yes. I said, the omnipotent omniscient kind of all-knowing type of God. He goes, absolutely. And I said, then, how did your God put you in the wrong place on Friday night where you actually don't belong? And there was a pause. And I heard him on the other end of the line, and he goes, oh my God. And I said, what is it? He goes, I belong everywhere I am. That's a fundamental reorientation to the experiences of your life. And what I believe is that's the deepest, most permanent, fastest way to actually move through the crazy unreality that we've created for ourselves as a result of adopting a bunch of other crazy people's beliefs when we were kids, right? To start reconnecting with what's really true.


Whatever happens is what is meant to happen (15:00)

And so in that moment of seeing that you actually believe everywhere, belong everywhere that you are, you move back into a powerful state, and now you're moving forward with your life in a powerful way. - It's interesting. So I've heard you talk a lot about the idea that basically whatever happens is what is meant to happen. And in terms of the leverage of coaching somebody like me, that would never work because I don't believe in an omniscient God. So I'm like, there are just too many things where the outcome is just bad. It was all bad. But I think that you're very right that you can always reframe it and find something good out of it. So you can find something good out of terminal childhood cancer, right? But I would say objectively that one falls into my human suffering bucket, I'm gonna say, no, that's just pretty bad. You can learn something from it, no question. You can reframe it, absolutely. So how are you able to have a breakthrough with somebody who is an adult, who like me, doesn't believe that everything happens for a reason? Like, is it just reframing out of their other tools? Like, what do you lean on? - Yeah, so what do you believe in? In other words, in your context, in the container that you've created, 'cause you're creating it, right? Like, we don't know if there's a God, we assume there's a universe, we're sort of in it. I mean, we call it the universe, but that's just language, right? We're just making up names for shit. So the question would be, now I go back to Einstein, if he actually said it, which I think he did, which is, you know, the most important decision you make is whether you live in a friendly or hostile universe. So that perspective is a belief in how the human being technology works. In other words, whatever you believe, because of the way, this whole structure and system works and how meaning then creates emotion and neurobiological chemical cascades in your body, right? Like all this stuff, like, in that sense, without even getting really woo, you're creating a reality, right? - Agreed. - And the question would be, what do you believe in drives everything? Because, you know, for me, I look at more of it as a mathematics. I don't, I use the word God. But what I believe is that intelligence itself, right? Unbound intelligence is all there is. And that unbounded intelligence. - When you say is all there is, what do you mean? Like the very fabric of space time is intelligent? - Sure, like if you talk about space time or the ether or the Hindus call it the Akasha or the fifth element or in the beginning there was a thing, right? For me, it's intelligence and it's mathematical and it's expression. And so I believe in math, right? If you go back to like Euclidean geometry, right? There's a very like kind of spiritual concept around all of these things and looking at things like sacred geometry and how something is expressing itself and there's really deep, sophisticatedly intelligent patterns, right? Which one could suggest is just chaotic. Like it's the way that this all unfolded, it had to unfold this way 'cause it was the only way it could all work or it's supremely intelligent. So the first thing I would wanna do is understand what do you believe? So that then we can have this conversation within that context. So what do you believe? - I believe purely in evolution. So whether that is divinely started or not, because I will be the first to admit there's something that I don't understand and it is something big and it leaves me in awe and wonderment. And so I am deeply moved by the mysteries of the cosmos. Like that shit to me is so beautiful. And so the states of awe or compassion or connectedness or like you don't have to pitch me on that, I'm in man. It's just I don't think that one, I don't think that what makes this experience beautiful or even useful is that it is all happening exactly as it was meant to happen. I feel like, hey, something put the expansion of the universe, the expansion of species started and it all has to obey the laws of physics. Okay, cool. So now operating within that, I find so much power in going, how does the mind work? So what is it that I can grab hold of? What are the levers? What are the dials? I don't need them to be divinely inspired and they certainly can be. Either way is fine by me. Like I don't have a dog in that fight. It is simply, I just need to know the truth. And so what I have experienced thus far tells me that people in some pretty beautiful ways grapple with spiritual concepts is a way to like make sense of everything. Sure. So love it, respect it, don't have any beef with it. The concepts that have an equal amount of beauty for me come down to biological truth. And so once I understand the biological truth and I can understand the way that synapses exist and work in the brain and the way connections are made, the way connections atrophy so that I can make something atrophy, sort of at will, I can make new connections, at will, by doing things, practicing something, repeating it. And so once I understand those levers, then I can start pulling. So a lot of the things you talk about, I feel like yeah, that's super powerful. We agree on the thing without agreeing why the thing exists. Does that make sense? Yeah, absolutely. So that's sort of the framework with which I operate. Yeah, so we're going back to this question, right?


Life is working in infinitely intelligent ways (20:03)

And I think you're alluding to this idea where I believe that life is working in infinitely intelligent ways for our greatest growth, our greatest prosperity, our greatest evolution, that at any moment it's a moment of perfection, right? That it is supposed to happen. And so in that we can live with acceptance, we can live with surrender. We may not actually see it in the moment, how it's working for us, but we can choose to trust that it is if we want to. Looking back-- Last statement you made, I agree with, like, totally. You can decide to view this as something that is working for me, right? How the Tony Robbins question, I love this. How's the worst thing that ever happened to you actually the best thing? And that reframe, just asking a different question changes everything. So I'm with you on that, it's a choice. Yeah, and I think it's important for us to take a forensics approach to our own lives, to observe deeply, to discover what we believe is true for ourselves.


Get Clear on Your Outcome, Wealthline & Beliefs with Neuroplasticity (20:51)

Went so far in my life when I look back over every single experience that I thought was a tragic experience at the time. Of course, because of cause and effect, it's been the same part of the journey of the things that I cherish most of my life. So we get to create those frames, right? And what I would suggest is those frames do become our reality. They do become our experience because of the way the technology works, right? I mean, at any moment in time, I read something recently and the numbers always change. But they were talking about the part of the brain that pays attention, right, the particular activating system. And something like 88% of what's going on in any given moment you're not paying attention to. Like I'm not paying attention to your wrist right now. It's still in my awareness. You should be there's a lot of beautiful wrist. But that which we tend to pay attention to is aligned with what we believe and so that's all we get. So if you want more happiness, if you want more wealth, if you want deeper relationships, if you wanna have more joy, you wanna have more fun, you wanna achieve your full potential and really make an impact in the world, then what's really important is to get clear on what that could look like for you and to make sure that what you believe is congruent with that outcome. Because if what you believe is not congruent with that outcome, just neurophysiologically you're working against yourself, right? - Yeah, talk to me about the power of clarity. One of the few people that I hear talk about this and I think it's so fucking important. - Yeah, so like where to start with the power of clarity. We talk about a number of things, right? The power of decision, the power of clarity, the power of gratitude, the power of questions. Most people know what they don't want but they don't know what they do want. If you say to somebody, what do you want? They'll spend maybe 10 seconds sifting around and then start telling you exactly all the stuff that they don't. And so it's important to have clarity on what you wanna create, to have clarity on the type of partner you wanna have in your life, to have clarity on the things that you wanna learn. Because I believe that clarity is intimately connected to imagination. So as we're getting clear on something, we're beginning to see what that thing is, right? That we're getting more clarity on. And we now know there was a study done in 2009 at Harvard where they brought in piano players to play the piano and they studied what parts of their brains lit up and then they just had them imagine playing the piano in the same parts of the brains lit up. And there's a study after study after study that shows that the brain doesn't know the difference between imagination and reality. So as you're getting clear around something, you're actually building neural networks as if that image or that experience had already occurred. I mean, this is really powerful because so often people don't know how to achieve something. And because they don't know how, they don't spend a lot of time getting additional clarity. They don't spend time imagining what the future would look like with that thing or being that thing or creating that thing 'cause it gets stuck on the how. And what I would suggest is that if you're willing to invest time in getting clearer around something or imagining, you build neural networks that represent the memory of an experience that has not happened yet. That's fucking powerful. I mean, we're talking about like next level mental technology because if you had experienced the thing already, would you know how to do it? So what I would suggest is that it's that change in the neural networks of your brain that you can achieve through clarity, which is part of this kind of imagination category. I mean, dispense it talks about it with meditation and visualization. Other great teachers talk about it in this way. You're able to start building neural networks of experience that have not happened yet that I believe then give you access to the thoughts, the ideas, the perceptions. And if you wanna talk about it, like creating the synchronicities that actually close the gap between that future and the present moment. - All right, say that in like a real basic bitch way. Like give it to people in like fucking grounded ground. - Don't let not knowing how prevent you from spending time getting additional clarity or imagining because that's actually what's required to happen in order for you to know how. - Yeah, that I like. Your whole notion of getting, don't let the indecision right. Be born out of the fact that you're not sure how this is all gonna play out, right? So I thought that was so powerful. Like to start moving and in the moving, in getting the clarity, some of it will come to you and moving forward, some more of it will come to you. - We talk about fog, right? It's like people get stuck 'cause they're not clear. - So, but getting more clarity, people get paralyzed by not knowing some kind of never attainable omniscience around the topic. And so they stop, right? They move into indecision, they move into some form of procrastination. And the way you get more clarity is the same way you drive in fog. You've got 10 feet of clarity, the way you get 10 feet more is to move forward, 10 feet, right? You're never gonna know, right? We're all looking for this sort of, I heard one of your guests recently talk about how fear is wanting to have a predictable outcome around an experience that you've never had before, right?


How fear is wanting to have a predictable outcome of an experience youve never had (25:48)

And that's what we're all looking for, but that's not the way that it works. You get as clear as you can, then you take action and more clarity unfolds for you. - How do you help people unwind the fears around that? Is it all attacking the beliefs? Like, what are you really worried about? I'm worried I'm not good enough, that kind of thing? - Yeah, for us, it's really looking at what is the thinking that's causing the emotional response, which is fear? And knowing that what's actually happening, and again, this is just what we're suggesting, what's actually happening is you've activated neural networks that represent a dissonant concept, and your nervous system is experiencing that dissonance is fear. Your nervous system is telling you it's not true. It's not true that you're not good enough, it's not true that you need to get it all done, it's not true that you're gonna end up living under the bridge, it's not true, any of those things aren't true. - Walk me through the journey to discovering all of this stuff.


Youre experiencing fear when your nerves are saying (its not true) (26:40)

So, we're 10 years ago, we're in addiction, but you rocket, I mean, look, I only know this sort of external side of your story, so I wasn't there, so I'm sure it wasn't as easy as one would believe seeing how far out of that you've come.


Overcoming addiction & rocketing (26:47)

But what were some key points on that journey? Like a few moments that felt like, whoa, this is like a lightning rod moment, were there those, or was it just sort of a gradual stacking of mild insights? What did that process look like, and how did you keep yourself going? - So I was in the depths of my addiction. Like I remember about three weeks before I realized I had a problem, which is amazing to see that I had these experiences and didn't realize I had a problem until three weeks later. It was the last time I was ever gonna buy pot, bought it from my pot dealer, smoked it on my back porch, had still had a bag left after rolling a joint, filled the bag up with water, so that I wouldn't smoke it, took it to Whole Foods and dumped it in the garbage can, and three hours later was back at Whole Foods pulling out of the garbage can and drying it out of my back porch, right? - Okay. - That's addiction. It's addiction, and so in the beginning it was just about trying to figure out how to untether myself from these addictive patterns of behavior, and I started working on a 12-step program. And about three or four weeks after I started working on a 12-step program, I go to the airport, you know you have those book moments, like a book decides it's developing a relationship with you, and like I go over, I grab this book off the shelf, and it said, "Awakening the Buddha within." On the back of the book it had the four noble truths, the Buddhism, it said, "Life is full of suffering, "the suffering will happen to you, "there's a way out of the suffering, "and the way out of the suffering "is the eight-fold path of virtue." And I don't know what the eight-fold path of virtue is, I'm like, but it's more efficient than 12 steps, they only have eight. So I read this book, and I'm like, wow, the things Bill W was talking about in 12 steps are very similar to what Buddha was talking about, and then an employee left a book on my desk called "Kingdom Principles" by Miles Monroe, and I was like, Christ is saying the same thing. Then I went to Barnes & Noble, and I kid you not on the second floor of the Barnes & Noble, I walk over to a section that I didn't know existed called self-help, and "Think and Grow Rich" was sitting on the floor, and I just happened to pick it up, read the back of the book, bought the book. So my journey began, right?


Tom & Carol's self-help journey (28:52)

And yeah, it was a gradual progression, it was picking up these individual distinctions, it was realizing that we're always in sympathetic or parasympathetic, it was realizing that my emotional responses were being dictated by my thoughts, not by the actual experiences. It was starting to become more self-aware through the work that we did. I mean, Carol and I went to India three times, did really deep intensive work there. - What does that mean? When you go to India, we're in an ashram? - Yeah, we were at an ashram, more like a university. It was like a five-star ashram. - And so are we taking classes? - Yeah, taking classes, doing breath work, meditation. Some of the breath work we did there was really, really, really deep. - And it allows you to like get into the parasympathetic, like what are the being wholly unfamiliar with this kind of training? - Oh, you've never done breath work? - I have, but like through Sam Harris or-- - So listen, this is, 'cause I'm aware of when I get into Tom's uncomfortable world at this point now. So like my, you know, I don't know, I can give you my theory about what happens with the breath work that we did, but you know, I experienced what it was like to be a turtle. I had a conversation with Krishna about-- - Are we talking like true, like DMT-induced kind of things? - Yes, but just breath, right? - I'm assuming this is in meditation. - Yeah. - How long did it take you? - Breath, it's in breath. - Okay, is the breath work different? 'Cause I know you've done a lot of meditation. Is there a different experience to breath work versus meditation? Is it actually like a, where you're getting hypoxic or something that's causing that? - That's a very active breath work, right? - Do you know Wim Hof's method? - I've done Wim Hof's method. - Is it something intense like that? We are really breathing. - Yes, but for an extended period of time. - Okay. - And at that point, what I think happens is we begin to detach from the mind. And then these other experiences show up, right? I mean, I had never really contemplated what it was like to be my mom's tortoise. But for whatever reason, that's what I experienced, right? And as you begin to experience these things, you know, experiences change the brain, right? In fact, the only way you change the brain is through experience, right?


Promoting Personal Growth And Living In The Present

Experience [From Living in The Present Moment] (31:11)

Like moment by moment by moment, we're recording, right? What's going on? And we're either reiterating the neural networks that are there, we're building new neural networks, or pruning out old ones. And so these are experiences. So, you know, to what extent there's value to experiencing being a turtle, I don't know, but I've had the experience. So it's in here now. And so, you know, a lot of people use plant medicine for that, right? Exploring different experiences or DMT. So, yeah, we've been on a journey of personal exploration. And the one thing that we started to see consistently, as we were working with people around their beliefs, which we believe create the quality of their life, moving forward in every area. Like, I can sit with someone and hear what they believe and tell them what their life looks like. I could get real creepy and follow someone around for three days without them knowing. I could sit down and pretty much tell them what they believe, right? Your beliefs dictate your destiny. And that's not some, you know, quotable, right? It's the fact that it's at the core of behavioral psychology, right? Your beliefs dictate your thoughts, dictate your emotions, dictate your actions, dictate your results, which reinforce your beliefs. And what we consistently saw was that as we first started giving people permission to change their beliefs by realizing their decisions, right? The beliefs are just decisions and that you could just decide something different. And the whole machine would start recalibrating around it and reorienting around it. If you were willing to give yourself permission to make a new decision about life or money or relationships or whatever it is. But then after that, we consistently started seeing that the quality of the belief was that as we actually worked with people, they would say, "Oh, it's actually not true.


How Jay and David Started Working with People to Promote Personal Growth (32:45)

Oh, I see that it's not true for me. It doesn't need to be not true for me. But as we worked with them with our methodology, they would go, "Wow, it's not even true." And it was never true back then. My dad was just well-meaning and wanted to help me build a better mission, say, "Well, in Capistrano." He didn't tell me I didn't know how to do it, right? And so as we saw that, then we started finding even faster ways, right? Now you gotta be open to it. You gotta be open to the idea that anytime you're moving into a primal state, it's only being caused by your thinking and the quality of the thinking is that it's not true, even though in the moment, it's really true for you. Right? So, and that's how we started creating these really radical breakthroughs. And that was my experience. I now, listen, I move into some form of suffering daily, right? It's part of the human experience. I still have my amygdala and my limbic system and my-- - Right, like we have. - Pull them out. But I'm very quickly able to reorient myself because it's a beautiful binary structure. - How did you get good at that? - Practice. The most important thing in my life on a moment-by-moment basis, which sometimes I don't make the most important thing, but most of the time I do, is noticing what state I'm in. And if I've moved into a primal state, observing the thinking to see what it is and going into an exploration of the thinking, knowing that it's not true if it's causing me that emotion. And I do it over and over and over again. And then I supplement it.


Supplementing Your Thinking (34:24)

I supplement it with doing cold work. I supplement it with doing breath work. I supplement it with my nutrition. So, you know, that philosophy has sort of become a pillar of my personal growth and my personal evolution. - Yeah, that's super powerful. So, now putting this in a framework of, you get triggered by something. So you said that there are you going to a primal state daily and you start your amygdala and all that. Walk us through that process that you go through to then get back into that powerful state. - Yeah, so, something will happen. A team member who I've spoken to three times about the same issue will incorrectly do the thing for the fourth time. I'll notice that I'll get frustrated and I'll look at the thinking. Now again, my should mean something different than your should, I think. But what I believe is that, what I'm thinking in that moment is that I shouldn't have to continue to coach them. There are things that I need to do that are more important.


How David Gets into a Powerful State (35:32)

The fact that they can't get this thing done properly is gonna be a huge disruption and I'll start going down a rabbit trail around it, right? And I'll notice that I'm doing that and I'll go, okay, got it. So if that whole category of thinking is making me feel stressed or anxious or overwhelmed, I know those things aren't true. This doesn't threaten the organization. It's not taken away from the things that I should be doing. If this is what showed up, this is what I should be focused on, that's what great leaders do. There's a reason for this, even though I may not be able to see it yet. How can I be an even better leader for this person? What is it about the first three times that I explain this thing to them that is not clicking for them? And I can start to move into some form of empathy, some form of connection, some form of leadership. And as leaders, the irony around all of it is that when we approach our teams who have the type of experience with them, from anger, from frustration, from irritation, we're actually not good coaches for them. We can't move them forward into doing the thing properly. But when we realize that the frustration is coming from us, and that all the things that we think should be that are not in that moment, should not be because they're not in that moment. And we become present to that moment and to that person from a powerful state, that's how we are able to feel good about ourselves and actually support the people around us. - Yeah, that's cool. And that's something that you're able to help your clients do faster and faster and faster. Is there like a, do you break that process down into steps? Like step one, identify the thinking, step two. - For sure. That's our approach in a nutshell, which goes much broader and much deeper, right? This idea that you're in one of two states, that if you want to be creating a life you love or a business you love or a team you love or a mission you love and be successful, it's from a powerful state.


The Process in a Nutshell (37:15)

- All right, so to give people the steps, step one, what state are you in? - Step one is notice when you moved into a primal state.


Six-Step Process Of Personal Development

The Six Step Process (37:32)

Step two, know that the only thing that's causing you to move into that emotional state, which is sympathetic, is your own thinking. Step three, take a look at what the thinking is. Step four, play around with or be willing to be open to the fact that if it's moving you into a primal state, it may not be true, right? Step five would be if that's not true, then some form of the opposite must be true. What might that be? And step six would be, well what evidence do you have for the fact that that would be true? What happens over time is the brain starts to even get acclimated to this process. So like I don't go through the six step process every time, right, I notice I have an emotional reaction and I reorient myself fairly quickly. And like I said, I'm a human being, so I get hooked on things that are triggers for me all the time. I just don't get hooked as frequently and I don't spend as much time in the hook. - Nah, I'm in that super powerful. - Yeah. Where can people learn more about you? - Well, people can go to our website at DavidBayer.com. We've got our Mind Hack ebook there, which they can download for free and we've got ton of other information, videos, information about our powerful living experience. You know, for people who really want to go deeper into their personal growth and not just become self-aware, but go beyond self-awareness and really learn how to change their thinking. - I love that man. - Yeah. What's the impact that you want to have on the world? - We see a world where the biggest problems are being solved and in our language, that's restoring intelligence to humanity, really helping humanity evolve to the next evolution of who they are, which is an evolution of the nervous system. It's an evolution of intelligence. And so that's our goal. You know, my experience was suffering, so we want to help people end their suffering and then go beyond that to have a powerful living experience. - I love that man. - Yeah. Guys, if you're looking for somebody that can really articulate the steps of how to make change, this is your man, it's pretty incredible. The stuff that he gives away for free is already extraordinary and then people really vouch hard for the events and stuff that he does. So if that is something that you want to do in your life, get unstuck, man, dive into his world, you will not regret it. All right, if you haven't already, be sure to subscribe and until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. - David, my man, thank you so much, dude. - Can anyone become a great entrepreneur? Yes. But do they have what it takes? Are they willing to do whatever it takes? A lot of people give up.


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