The Real Woman Behind Molly's Game on How to Reach True Fulfillment | Molly Bloom on Impact Theory | Transcription

Transcription for the video titled "The Real Woman Behind Molly's Game on How to Reach True Fulfillment | Molly Bloom on Impact Theory".


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Intro (00:00)

When I started running these games, I was definitely looking to prove something and looking to fulfill something that was deep inside of me that felt unfulfilled and probably what that was was growing up with this and this family of massive high achievers and so I went out into the world deciding that the way to get the lambs to stop screaming, if you will, was to be somebody, to make a lot of money to be powerful, to have agency and so I was just gunning, right? And so I went out and I did that and then it was never enough and I became someone I didn't like and so the lesson I learned when it all fell apart was that there's no amount of money and there's no amount of freedom and there's no type, no situation where I can enjoy it if I don't like who I am and like the choices that I'm making and don't feel like I'm acting with dignity and don't feel like I'm acting with courage and don't feel like I'm acting with integrity. Like I really ended up in that scenario addicted to drugs alone, you know, and very miserable and so when the prosecutors put this deal on the table, we'll give you all your money back and we'll give you immunity. I knew that the only shot for me to have a second chance, to have a second act, was to continue to act with integrity. Hey everybody, today's episode is brought to you by our very own Impact Theory University. Enjoy the episode. Hey everybody, welcome to Impact Theory. Today's guest is a best-selling author, much sought after keynote speaker and a former Olympic level skier who at 21 was ranked third overall in North America. She was however also arrested at gunpoint by 17 federal agents, faced down a decades worth of prison time and got beaten up by the mob for refusing to cut them in on an illegal high stakes poker game she was running and it is no wonder the mob tried to push in. She took a relatively small game run out of a dingy backroom of a Los Angeles nightclub and turned it into the most exclusive high stakes poker game in the world. The game would eventually become so successful that more than 100 million dollars could change hands in a single night and the players around the table were some of the wealthiest, most influential and most famous people on the planet. From A-list celebrities who elite bankers, hedge fund managers and ultimately people tied to the Russian mafia. The extraordinary story of the game itself and her steadfast refusal to save herself from prison time by ratting out anyone involved drew widespread media attention. She's been featured on countless shows including Ellen, Vice and NPR and had her life story turned into the award-winning film Molly's Game Written and Directed by Oscar winner Aaron Sorkin. So please help me in welcoming the woman who just one year after emergency back surgery and being told she would never ski again ended up not only back on the mountain but making the US ski team the unsinkable Molly Bloom. What is that my dear? How are you doing? Oh my god your story is insane. It's insane and at the same time this really cool tale of getting great at something.

Interview Questions

Is your father part of your rebuilding team? (03:26)

Is that part of what you think has resonated with people that you were able to create this thing that garnered so much attention from scratch and that you had to fight like tooth and nail to build it? Yeah I think a big part of it is the underdog story. You know nothing I have ever wanted to accomplish. I was primed to do right. It was I was never the mathematician I didn't know anything about poker. I was coming from a pretty big deficit with with mobile skiing having you know my entire top spine fused together into metal rods and and then you know really lighting my life on fire and blowing it up and then having to wage the comeback. I think is something that gives us hope. You know the underdog story the redemption story and then you know this entertainment value of the mob and celebrities and hundred million dollar poker games. It's so crazy. There's a concept that you've talked about that you call constructive suffering.

What is Constructive Suffering and how can it help you in your life? (04:38)

What is that and what role has that played in your life? Sure as a as a young kid as an athlete you know I didn't wake up one day knowing how to ski 30 miles an hour through a minefield of mobos launched myself into the air and do inverted and rotational tricks and everything about that in the beginning felt dangerous both mentally and physically and wrong. And so you sort of embark on this disciplined course of action in which you feel uncomfortable and it feels bad but you keep doing it. And I think that I've applied that in academics and business and in sports. Do you think that's something that's teachable like the interesting thing about the relationship between you and your father at least as it plays out in the movie is that you know he's obviously pushing you very hard. There's the element you've talked very eloquently about the desire to please the desire to hear the applause that pushed you. Yeah. How much do you think is is innate in you that you just wanted that and how much was it that your dad was coaching you and molding you to be like that and do you think that's something that you could teach somebody else? I do and I think the part that was innate in me is innate in almost everybody and I think that's a deep desire to have a significant life and to and to have a big life. What I didn't know it was how to do it. And again as a kid or even as an adult if you don't understand that the process of getting somewhere feels bad a lot of the time and is in glorious a lot of the time it happens in the dark and in the in-betweens then you're just listening to your body or your mind and it feels wrong. And so I'm very grateful that I had a father who pushed me really hard. We weren't always great friends you know and I guess that was his sacrifice for us is that being a parent isn't a popularity contest all the time you prepare your children for life and to be formidable. How do you become formidable? You keep getting back up. Is it about skills like you're trying to get so good at something or is it a mentality?

What does it mean to be formidable? (06:53)

Is it your ability to face fear? Because obviously in your story once you really get into your world and understand it you could go yeah she is somebody who's formidable. But if you had to like break that down into like discrete skills what is it that actually makes you that way? Well I certainly didn't start out life formidable. I don't really think anyone does except for like maybe people who are you know like it was a crazy improbability for them to be born like they're already maybe a little formidable. But I think and I've made so many mistakes and I've failed at so many things. But I think I just always leveraged this thing inside of me that again I think everybody has which is I'm just not gonna quit. I'm just gonna keep coming back at it and and then when you get through something like that and you have the perspective and the hindsight you realize that this thing that was the worst thing in the world that broke your heart and crushed you and brought you to your knees that it was the getting through that that that gave you the biggest gifts you know and that enabled you like there's not much that rattles me now you know there's not much that scares me and if it does I know that you just that you just persevere through that. I mean you know in some ways when my life fell apart it was the most liberated I've ever been because for the first time in my life I didn't feel that I had to impress the world people had written me off and so all of a sudden it's just you right with no expectations and that liberated mindset is something that affected me deeply and that I remember and that I continue to try to replicate. So I think from being formidable is just continuing to go at it and being willing to get crushed you know the willingness. How did your and forgive me if I'm making an assumption that isn't true but I'm assuming it was your dad that really helped you when you were young learn to process fear to move towards it which passed it. What did he actually have you do that got you comfortable with fear? He didn't allow it. Okay so some kids aren't allowed to like not clean their room right or like they get grounded. My dad it was like if we were on top of a hill and like he decided that everyone was going to jump off this cliff you know skiing. If I didn't do it like I was in big trouble you know and so what happened there is massively uncomfortable in the moment right but what happens there is you're standing at the top of this mountain you're looking at this cliff or this mobile or whatever you know and saying I can't there's no way like I'm terrified of this and if you would have just quit you don't have that empowered feeling of doing it because you're terrified but doing it anyway getting to the other side of it and going wow like I feel so proud of myself and also just because there's all this fear doesn't mean I can't do it anyway and I guess that was the biggest takeaway and listen you could definitely argue that I took that concept too far right like there was a time in my life where I should have been paying attention to fear and wasn't but it's the balance but I do think that fear is the greatest thief of dreams and a and of a fulfilling life. If you had kids how would you push them would that be something for you where you didn't allow fear either? So it's interesting that you ask because we are embarking on that journey now and so I'm thinking about it a lot and I think for me I'm better for how my father raised me right but I wish he would have been more of my friend while doing it and you know he did the best he could he was a young dad the way that he behaved was in our best interest he believed but I think especially in this day and age like yes I think my kids will be required to finish what they start to take everything seriously that they do that was another thing my dad did with us it's like we had to put our name on everything we did so if it was a chore if it was a family bike ride there was this pursuit of excellence that needed to be honored and that's a huge asset in life that's where you can you find yourself continually going above and beyond where most people aren't you know but I think I will take into account all these lessons and but I think I'll be like less psychotic about it like I'll be their friend while I'm doing it like kiddo you're

How Molly is raising her children. (11:00)

gonna have to jump off this cliff I'm sorry that's just the way it is instead of like you brought up your name having to put your name on everything that you did this is probably the part of your story that I find most interesting and that I hope in a similar situation I would have the guts to live up to why were you so protective of your name like when you were facing a decade in jail it's pretty crazy you could have gotten out of that really easily and I don't even know that most people would have blamed you why what what was it about the whole notion of your name and who you are and your reputation that was so important to you so there's a couple things here when I started running these games I was definitely looking to prove something and looking to fulfill something that was deep inside of me that felt unfulfilled and probably what that was was growing up in this family of massive high achievers you know a brother that's a Harvard educated cardiothoracic surge and another brother that's a two-time Olympian and played in the NFL and was an Abercrombie model and started a charity for

The importance of sharing life lessons. (12:40)

like granting wishes for old people like you know what I mean this was my family right and like I my skill set wasn't so clearly defined and so I went out into the world deciding that the way to get the lambs to stop screaming if you will was to be somebody to make a lot of money to be powerful to have agency and so I was just gunning right and so I went out and I did that and then it was never enough and I became someone I didn't like you know what started out as running this game and seeing it as a really cool way to build a network and to make money and to kind of be impressive in front of people who move the needle became so much about greed and so much about like the morality took a backseat and I would I would be putting people in this game who couldn't afford it just for my own gain and so the lesson I learned when it all fell apart was that there's no amount of money and there's no amount of freedom and there's no situation where I can enjoy it if I don't like who I am and like the choices that I'm making and don't feel like I'm acting with dignity and don't feel like I'm acting with courage and don't feel like I'm acting with integrity like I really ended up in that scenario addicted to drugs alone and very miserable and so when when the prosecutors put this this deal on the table we'll give you all your money back and you and we'll give you immunity I knew that the the only shot for me to have a second chance was to continue to act with integrity and to me I had made all these choices nobody you know it wasn't these guys puppet mastering me to run this game I had done this whole thing and I knew how to do it legally I chose to do it illegally because I was greedy and wanted more and I had to take responsibility for these choices and so this was you know everyone's always like well why were you so protective of the guys I wasn't I was protective of this thing that I had reclaimed this dignity this this integrity that I had gotten back after really losing it and I couldn't give that up again yeah that's pretty extraordinary what part of your journey are you most I'm gonna I'm gonna use the word impressed by I'm not gonna say proud of so I'm specifically avoiding that word but what are you most impressed by was it standing up to player X when he took the game away was it your skiing and what you accomplished there after being told you would never ski again was it facing down the jail time like what what in that was your most most sort of formidable moment I think it was being completely leveled like you know being 35 years old millions of dollars in debt a convicted felon reputation destroyed not hireable not you know no one wanted to make this story because in terms of in Hollywood because they were so afraid of all the famous people that would you know we're gonna object to it and just moving that you know like moving it inside and coming up intellectually with a plan and even though it was improbable and statistically you know close to impossible just being like I'm gonna do this and I'm just never gonna quit until I figure my life out I'm not gonna stay down you

Jamie Assert June Is Forced (16:21)

know that was probably the endeavor that I'm most impressed by so how do you do that so the the whole notion of or the story I should say of how you end up getting Aaron Sorkin to write and direct this is really extraordinary walk us through that from the book doesn't quite sell as well as you want right and like your life at that point being in massive turmoil how do you end up getting him to do this yeah I mean I think being an entrepreneur is a spirit that you apply to everything and so when I realized just you know how sort

Writing The Book Is Strategic (16:32)

of decimated my life was I was like okay well you're now the startup and so I looked at it from that perspective and so I did a ton of research about the publishing industry and about Hollywood because to me the only thing I had left or the the greatest thing that I thought I had left in terms of a monetizable asset was the story and I also felt if told in the right way the story could create a platform and then I could someone would hire me you know I could get a job again or at all and so you know it was a very sort of strategic execution of I'm gonna write the book so that I can own my IP and then I looked at Hollywood and I'm like this is tough this tough industry right in terms of like getting things done like you can have this amazing package and it still fails there's so many places of where things fall apart but then I started realizing that if you have content which I believed that I did and you have a writer that's a good bet right like if you look at Aaron Sorkin's track record he's a great bet right like everything he does is successful has awards nominations gets made makes noise and so you know there is a category of those type of people for me that that I was really shooting for and Aaron was at the top and so I started kind of pursuing that like trying to get a meeting or whatever and most people laughed me out of their office or said things like let me just give you a little piece of advice sweet heart do you know how many people don't want this movie made like this movie will just get crushed no one's gonna make this movie and I was just like thanks for the advice you know can you get me meeting with Aaron Sorkin or not you know and so finally you know I met an attorney and he introduced or he said I can ask him for a personal favor but he was like but if he doesn't like it that's it right it's got to resonate with him so I should I get a meeting with Aaron and I fly to LA and then I walk in and you know I pitch Aaron I give it all I got to tell him my story and I mean I talk about this a lot but because he's just so great with words he sits back in his chair and he gives me this amused expression and he's like well I'll tell you one thing I've never met someone so down in their luck and so full of themselves and I'm like so are you in you know and he was and so you know this this thing that generally doesn't happen like that was was a very orchestrated strategic plan on my part but there's also you know luck luck plays part there if Aaron wouldn't have liked the story you know then I would have just moved on to someone else but I just I was really sure I wanted it to be him yes that so I always want the everything I do to be an instruction manual for success especially for people who don't think they can be successful and there were so many moments in your story where it's like giving up is the obvious option and maybe the most logical option but but you don't and so you said that that was highly strategic I want to talk about how you process through that strategy so there's nothing in your background that I came across it would make me go oh you're in your sort of an obvious choice to be an entrepreneur and yet you act with a lot of entrepreneurial tendencies that are very impressive so you know you have a rebrand exercise every the bottom has fallen out you're a felon now sort of logically it's all over but you sit down and you say what's my monetizable asset how do you even begin to think to ask the question what's my monetizable asset like how are you beginning to put that world view together that tells you this is doable okay well I have like kind of a two-part answer for that first of all I think it had a lot to do with being in survival mode define survival mode have heard you talk about this okay so having to move back in with your mom at you know in your 30s having not only no money but no bank account you know the feds seized all my assets my bank accounts were closed I couldn't even open a bank account not that I would have a dollar to put in it right being crushed under this this debt to the IRS and

Define Survival Mode (20:54)

the DOJ and having the tabloids tell your story in the most reductive way basically saying that you're like some girl in a tight skirt that serves drinks at a poker game when in actuality I was the owner operator and the bank you know and the finance arm and and addicted to drugs and alcohol I mean that's a big one and just basically being super finished you know so survival mode I think is comprised of this state where you have nothing to lose and you can't live like that right that's not a life and so two things happened in survival mode one I got pretty fearless and two I had this for the first time in my life the strange brand of pure confidence because no one expected anything from me and so I think a lot had to do with that now when I got out of crisis my normal mind came back in and I desperately wanted to return to crisis mode mind without the crisis and so what I did is I like pursued that with everything I had I started reading a ton of books I spoke to people that I respect in all different fields spiritual people neuroscientists psychologist elders I respect in a 12 step program and I just through trial and error cycle through these different sort of ways to return me to this liberated fearless confident mindset because it was so powerful you know and it was so effective and so the answer to that is I think you've got to figure out a way to get your own self out of the way because the only thing that's ever stood in between myself or anyone else and their ultimate dream is themselves right there's going to be obstacles of course but

The Only Obstacle Is Myself (23:11)

you can navigate them unless you think you can't so the two things you know there's there's just like a couple of things that I found if I practice on a daily basis that I can stay sort of in that flow in that flow mind right and it's interesting one of them is meditation and you know a lot of people and like you know meditation is stigmatized as this is as a very spiritual practice or a practice just you know like calm you down or whatever and I think those are great applications for it but in my experience meditation is an absolutely critical performance tool because it allows you to train your mind and the second thing is something that that I learned in 12th program if I practice all the time gets me there and it's you know you make a list of your the weak parts of your character like interesting where you know like for instance self pity selfishness fear you know and then you you decide that you're gonna you're gonna take them into the world and work on them so like my process is is okay this week I'm looking at I'm looking at fear right and I am alert to every time that I think in a fearful way where I act in a fearful way and I take an action right there a contrary action and create you know like put in a courageous thought or make a courageous action at the end of the day I review my day and when I start to show up more courageously than fearfully I move on to the next thing which is you know selfishness and or self pity and you know the contrary action there is gratitude or whatever and over time a couple things start to happen one I am for the first time truly unshakeably confident like I like myself I know that I'm doing this work I know that I'm showing up in a principled way and the second thing that happens is like my EQ goes through the roof and then you know the third thing that happened was I'm not such a you know I'm not a nightmare anymore and really I get engaged congratulations just personal relationships start to thrive and so you know I think when people in the past have told me like well this is a simple process right this this process of like being successful or accomplishing your goals is a really simple process you just have to decide to and like put the right you know intention there I think that's bullshit you know I think it takes work and I think it takes a daily program of action in which you're working on yourself and and training yourself for the opportunities that arise how do you do that so one thing that you've seemed very efficient at is learning so going to poker don't know poker start learning it publishing learn that Hollywood learned that like you've done a really good job of being a novice

Sarah's process for learning something new (26:03)

stepping into something and figuring it out do you have a particular process that you go through when you're approaching something new mm-hmm I saw this documentary I can't remember this title and I'd like to so I could adequately quote it but they it's about studying really successful people and one of the attributes that they quote that's that's permeates through most successful people is this rage to master rage to master yeah and I had me at rage tell me more I know I loved it right it just gets you so everything that I've ever done anything I've ever done well became somewhat of an obsession and that requires an honesty about what you're pursuing you know you can't just just like in my in my experience I can't just decide that I want to do something that I don't care about I have to care you know and so like the first component is making sure that that I have that rage to master that it's gonna be something I want to spend a lot of time with you know and once you've settled intellectually on your strategy then I think the next part is making sure that you that you are putting yourself in the best position to execute and that has to do with taking care of yourself you know getting enough sleep beating the right things and then you know what I'm talking about like training your mind and and strengthening your character and just making sure that you're putting yourself in the best place for execution because execution is it you know it's really and and and execution so much of it is just endurance and in endurance like to be able to out endure your own mind to you know if people just kept going a little bit longer they could probably get there how do you make sure that that endurance is fruitful though so I imagine you you're taking the meetings right you go in people telling you this is never gonna work nobody in Hollywood wants to see this I'm guessing it while there is an element of beating your head against the wall and just not giving up there's also an adjustment of strategy yes how do you like sus that moment out where you're like what I'm doing isn't get getting me the result that I want I need to be brutally honest about you know the the results that I'm getting and then be able to see that and adjust I think that's a great question and I think being a great entrepreneur or someone who survives the world at all takes a fair amount of flexibility and being nimble what if there's one thing I've learned in this in life is that we are not just like passive riders on on our on the things that like we don't just have to accept these things about ourselves that don't work we get to change them and you know I probably wouldn't have realized that to the extent that I did had my life not fall in the part in such a catastrophic way and I had I was forced to kind of you know come out of the ashes but like I know for sure you can change yourself you can change your life and you can become more successful at what you want to become more successful at whatever that is do you ever see people struggle with that like they legitimately just cannot see yeah what they're doing yeah so I really want self-awareness to be something that people can develop yeah how do people become more aware of how they're tripping themselves up well that's a that's a question that

Self-awareness (29:40)

I'm thinking about a lot because I want to I'm writing a book about sort of how to change your life and and developing an app as well and and so I think that there are some pretty specific questions if I if I sat down and thought about it like I think there's some specific questions but I also think a really good resource is to ask people that you trust they're gonna tell you the truth and it's a hard question you know it's a hard question but it's important to not surround yourself by sycophants it's important to surround yourself with people that keep you accountable whether it's at work or you know if you sat down with your boss or your co-workers or your friends or your family and said look I want you to be really honest with me you know if you had to tell me like where the weakest part of my personality or like what what I should change like what is it you know being amenable to listening to that and having the courage to hear that is the inflection point you know that's that's the turning point meaning that's the point at which you can begin to actually improve your life and get out of whatever hole you're in yeah I would agree with that pretty aggressively you said for years and years and years your dad specifically was trying to like get you to realize the life that you were living was gonna end in the crash that ended in yes how did you reject that when he was saying it and then how did you guys heal the relationship after it all happened yeah I was mad at my dad because he was so hard on you because he was so hard on me and it seemed like he was much nicer to my brothers and liked them better and he was he was such an authoritarian you know and and that just killed me but when everything fell apart and then and then when I got arrested by the feds and you know federally indicted and I had to go to New York to get it an attorney I called him and he said get a public defender he was pissed at me you know he was like I've been trying to tell you about this for years and now you're in this place where an attorney wants two hundred and fifty thousand dollars for a retainer and you know they've and the feds have seized all your assets and now you want money from me like and so I got mad at him for being mad at me for getting federally indicted and then right before I got sentenced he called me and he said I'm coming to California to talk to you because you're my only daughter you're about to be sentenced in federal court and and we cannot not be speaking and and so you know for for the people that saw the movie the scene that happened in Central Park happened it just happened in in Los Angeles and it was a bit different in terms of his answer to the question what I finally got vulnerable and I finally just asked the the question that was you know really the the the the root of this sadness and anger and resentment I was like why didn't you like me as much as my brothers you know and his answer was look I have been a psychotherapist for 40 years I know how difficult the world is and I think it's even harder for women and so I wanted to make you formidable and so all those years of thinking you know God he was so unfair to me and he liked them so much better and you know it was kind of diffused in a moment and and there was a there was an honesty and a and a contrition on both of our parts and and just you know we're sitting there like the stakes couldn't be higher I might lose my freedom right and and from that moment on our relationship changed and like my dad is my best friend now like before I go on for keynotes he's like calling me like trying to coach me you know I'm like okay dad but I mean I have the dad that I always wanted I have the relationship with my dad that I always wanted you know he calls me the champ now and I mean listen like no matter how high achieving your siblings are if you get Kevin Costner to play your dad and a movie you're gonna be the favorite kid that's amazing yeah it it's a pretty fascinating part of your story and that real-life answer about being harder for women and you've talked a lot about the power of femininity I'd love

Power of femininity (33:50)

to hear your thoughts on that you've said that you don't think that if women want to be really successful they shouldn't try to ape men they should try to to lean into their femininity so what does that look like and why is it advantageous okay so I can just tell you from my experience so if I would have gone into the industry that I went into which is gambling right and if I was a man I'm screwed like there are like everyone's mail they all have their sort of like way of thinking about it and there's so much competition but because I was a woman and I had a fresh perspective and I brought a different sort of innate mindset and a different vibe to it I was able to see a different way to do things I was able to see that this wasn't just about a poker game right this was about building a community this was about mythology this was about fantasy this was about giving someone something to be part of that was like you know took them out of their regular life you realize all of that you know we process to know you're just looking at these guys asking a simple question why are they doing this why are they doing this why do they want to be here you know I I was obsessed with reading when I was little and I was obsessed with anything that fantasy related and anything they would get me out of right here right now and what I realized I believe largely in the in the in the power of experiences you know and that's why when I sort of entered into this thing as a cocktail waitress and ultimately wanted to build my own game but was competing against like the billionaire boys club for it I was like if I can create this incredible experience right where it's it's unforgettable it's still memorable if you know I can create this game where you're sitting next to your absolute hero in life if I can create this game where the economics make enough sense where you're scared right where you're like it's it's you know it's battle royale right if I can have beautiful people who have memorized everything you drink everything you eat and are make you feel so special and you know and if I can see strategically a table of nine people in which each one is more interesting than next like I believe that even though I know nothing about running a game even though I'm don't know anything about finance I don't know anything about poker right they're gonna want to come back you know I'm a big believer in experiences particularly with P with everyone it doesn't matter you know because it's it takes you out of your daily life and gives you a place of refuge you talked about creating a beautiful game and there was something about that that really struck me especially through the lens of like really looking at the world from a feminine perspective and building accordingly and but there was so much entrepreneurial wisdom in the way that you went about it from researching the way the casinos pump in a certain smell that shows that it increases people likelihood to make a big bet and so you had custom made candles I mean it was there was like so much thought that went into it that to me are the signs of what it takes for real greatness to have such a deep understanding of the game how what do you think about that what are the principles of excellence and you know by way of example what were things that you did in the game that you feel you've never really gotten enough credit for recognizing the importance of so it's in the details you know and you know inside when you're taking a shortcut right when you haven't shown up a hundred percent and like my philosophy is if you want to build something great right no shortcuts ever eat every detail you put your name on so what were things that you did for the game that were the no shortcuts example um like I continued to seek out extraordinary people to place around I never stopped recruiting even when I had tables full of games you know I knew to keep it new and interesting I you know I I really cultivated relationships with people I took the time to learn about their lives one thing I know about people is that one of the best things you can do for them is solve a problem that they didn't ask you to solve yeah I can imagine what's the most powerful useful thing you've learned from addiction recovery the first thing I have learned is to be okay with uncomfortable feelings emotions to just ride it out and whether that storm because before

Conclusions And Promotions

Riding out discomfort (39:03)

I got sober like you know I could withstand a lot but then what what I couldn't withstand I would just numb out you know and then I couldn't do that anymore and and and then you have to ride it out and then you realize that like because you think it's gonna last forever you know that uncomfortable feeling and then you just kind of you stay with it and you accept it and then what the next time it happens it's not really that big of a deal so definitely to just sort of like ride out discomfort but the the main thing I learned from a 12 step program is it's a program of action to live life peacefully and with a sense of fulfillment that doesn't require watching someone lose a hundred million dollars at your poker game or doesn't require going on this crazy trip or you know making five million dollars that night like it's it's it's this ability to just be comfortable in your own skin and to be and to find joy in the parts of life that aren't exploding in your face you know and and the other way was not sustainable and how do I reconcile in your personality the being formidable being somebody who's driven and you've said multiple times I'm always gonna be ambitious with the you know meditating every day finding equanimity now regardless of you know the ups and downs sort of being even keel is it a balancing act for you is it that there is no discrepancy between the two and they coexist perfectly like how does one come to understand what appear to be two sides of a coin yeah I mean I think that the first of all I think meditation will make you dangerous like I think that that is aligned with ambition because if you walk into a room and you don't have this like annoying inner dialogue and you don't have fear and you are confident you're gonna put you're also like quiet they don't see you coming and you're gonna eat everyone up in that room I think meditation makes you dangerous you know I think that there's applications of it that can make you peaceful and live a monastic life and eat rice out of a bowl and all that stuff but that's not ever gonna be my intention but but living a principled life meditating getting a good night like all this stuff this is what allows me to enjoy being ambitious I never really enjoyed my life before it was always like oh you know my happiness was tied to the next win or like even when I did win like almost immediately that voice would come in like it's not enough you gotta do more you gotta do more this relentless pursuit of excellence that really was a huge reason why I use drugs and alcohol to you know was to like shut it up like I need some peace and so this sort of practice of making sure I'm living a principled life and learning how to manage my mind and not tap into the shit I don't want to tap into is the way that I enjoy being ambitious so you're working on the book now about how to help people change their lives what what is a key thing that you don't think people have fully understood or that's you know out there already that you think some be really useful for people so all this stuff is out there right it just is shrouded in a bit of different language and vernacular and I think training your mind is so important meditation is the way that

Takeaways (42:31)

I do it right and and it's and it's really worked for me and it worked in a short amount of time do it however you want sit in whatever position you want but like train your mind so that it does what you want it to do and you can choose what you want to focus on and you can put you know not and choose not to focus on what you don't in in my in my experience like if I had one thing to say like it would be that the second thing would be you know work on your character because everybody has things to work on and that's generally what's standing in the way of of your success do you have rules for character like what that means life rules that you live by well yeah but I think it's mostly just choosing to live in a way that's opposite of of a week character so like I think it's a great exercise for everybody to decide like well I'm gonna look at selfishness right like where do I like where am I thinking selfishly and where am I showing up selfishly and where can I like maybe even up that score a little bit like it's just it's it's it's way more simple than I think people think like you don't want to return your car to the grocery store well then return euros and someone else's because then you start to change yourself that's interesting you know you start to take daily actions that change yourself and and really you're gonna show up better in the world and you're gonna like yourself better and I think that that's a really highly overlooked again performance tool like I thought you know I watched I was around some of the world's most successful wealthy powerful people I can count on this hand in half of this hand how many people were enjoying their life well I think there's something so powerful about the way you have found the interface of idea and reality thank you yeah I'm writing a book and I'm actually at the same time launching an app that can take this program and help you put it into action without because I think there's two really big downfalls in the self-help industry one is that you have to self-motivate all the time without reward or incentive or recognition and so I think you

Writing a Book & App (44:37)

can gamify it a bit in an app and then the other one is I think self-help is kind of bullshit because I think it takes a community go on and so what I want to do is create this program of action in this app program that's created from things that I've learned that if you practice this like like you're training for a sport whatever like you can you know you can you can get on board but then it connects you to a community of people who are doing the same thing because a huge part of why again like you know I am an entrepreneur so if anywhere I go I'm gonna look at it through that lens so I'm an AA right and I'm like what about this works right what about this works because I see these people come in and they're done okay there's no they are done and then I see them the light go back on and you know they have families and they have jobs and whatever and I'm like what's working here you know because I don't see it working anywhere else in the world and it's working in such extreme cases so a huge part of it is community around shared experience right so if you decide you want to change your life and that can look like anything and it really what it is is it's tapping into a power to live because how many times did I say I need to get out of this world out of this poker world or I need to not do drugs anymore or I need to not call that guy because he's an asshole or not eat that like piece of candy because it has too many carbs or whatever and then still do it so that right there there's a lack of power there's what we want and what we desperately want right like with every atom in our body or like procrastination is a lives that lives in that place too how do we tap into the power to make these choices that are aligned with what we really want this coming up with a program of daily action that actually like changes your brain changes your thoughts and gives you power of choice and then connecting you to a group of people who want to help you who are doing the same thing are tasked by this higher calling and so that's kind of what I am developing right now and co-launching with my book nice I like the sound of that I'll be very interested to see what you do so we just launched Impact Theory University and a big thing that we're looking at is that exact same thing like the the community dropout rate of online courses is ungodly like people they just don't see it through and so how do you help them see it through getting around people who think like you think social accountability I've always found it super interesting that they say that the the only thing that is going to just dramatically increase your odds in a 12 step program to being successful is that you help somebody else which is the 12 step right yeah so that to me is really interesting that that sense of there's some human dynamic at play where if I can do something for you then it reinforces it in me and they say the best way to learn something is to teach it and so there's really something extraordinary in that dynamic so I'll be waiting with beta breath to see if you pull it off it's very exciting I'm not betting against you

Where to Find Her (48:15)

trust me I'm out on all right so what is the best way to find you and learn more about you so I'm not super active but whenever when I have something to say or something to share and as this thing gets closer I will be sharing on on social media and I Instagram is I'm Molly Bloom and so is Twitter so I am like the letter I the letter M and then Molly Bloom and then you know as this thing gets closer we'll have a website and more information what's the impact that you want to have on the

Mission (48:42)

world I want to give them an actual program of action and connect them to a community of people to help people change their life and tap into power the power to do what you want to do in the world and not give into this this powerless state of mind where you know sometimes you can and sometimes you can't Molly thank you so much for coming on the show that was wonderful guys if you haven't seen the movie Molly's game first of all watch it I think it is extraordinarily well done is amazing story the book equally amazing check it out go stress her to be more engaged on social media I was mortified by how little she posts but what she posts is awesome so get out there heckle her until she brings more milk it's a wisdom all right if you haven't already be sure to subscribe and until next time my friends be legendary take care Molly thank you what's up impact of this as you guys know my mission in life is to provide the no BS instruction manual for success and to that end we've launched our brand new learning platform impact theory University our goal with ITU is to provide

you with curriculum that will help you take your career business or personal development to the next level so regardless of your end goal ITU is designed to provide you with the universal principles and tactics of success that will propel you forward so whether you want to build a fortune 500 company advance quickly up the ranks at your company become a more effective parent or partner or simply get unstuck there are core principles that apply and that's where impact theory University comes in but to be clear ITU is not in other podcast or conversation with an influencer you can get all of that for free right here on our YouTube page instead it is structured education delivered in a compelling format and paired with social support and accountability we offer two tracks business and mindset regardless of which track you choose you'll gain access to a library of all of our pre-recorded classes as well as two hours of live teaching per month where you'll have the opportunity to engage with me ask questions and meet others in the community every class also comes with an actionable worksheet designed to help you take the immediate action that is required to make any new skill stick and last but certainly not least as a student enrolled in ITU you'll get access to an exclusive online community of other like-minded individuals who will help you study the content work through all of your goals and keep you accountable at all times ITU pricing starts as low as $47 a month for the mindset track and $97 a month for the business track there's also a 50% discount if you buy the whole year upfront and additional discounts if you sign up for both mindset and business when you bundle all of the discounts together the cost drops to roughly 80 cents a day I think ITU truly is the best content we have ever made but if you sign up and don't agree that it's worth say 10 times what you paid just take advantage of our no questions asked 30-day money bag guarantee I don't want any of us to get paid unless we're delivering disproportionate value so trust of the refund process will be absolutely hassle free and if this sounds like something that would help you move forward in your life but you can't afford it we do have a scholarship program that you can apply for that provides free access to those in need alright everybody if you want to take advantage of this and make a dramatically forward in your life sign up today the link is in the description or you can go directly to I look forward to seeing you on the inside my friends and until then be legendary take care if we find and can imagine the bright side and anything that will become a reality but you can't think anything is going to be given to you other than opportunity and the only way to show appreciation for opportunity is to react not to say thank you

Final Thoughts

Thomass Takeaways (52:35)


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