What Everyone Who is Too Self-Critical Needs to Know | Marisa Peer on Impact Theory | Transcription
Transcription for the video titled "What Everyone Who is Too Self-Critical Needs to Know | Marisa Peer on Impact Theory".
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People don't understand that what makes hypnosis powerful is powerful words, but they've got to be super powerful, really dynamic, incredibly relevant and absolutely up to date. And if you combine that powerful language with shutting down, the critical part, because you can never do that, who's going to want you? You've got four kids that cellulite. If you shut that bit down and then add in excitement, you're going to have anything you want. Hey everyone, welcome to Impact Theory. Today's guest is a bestselling author who's written four books on psychology and has more than three decades worth of experience, working with some of the most famous and influential people on the planet. From CEOs and royalty to international superstars and Olympic athletes, she's helped facilitate radical transformations in record time. The founder of Rapid Transformation Therapy, known as the RTT Method, she's listed in the Tatler Guide to Britain's Best Doctors and has been described as a British pioneer by Men's Health magazine. She was the only woman featured in the article The Best of British and in 2018, her RTT Method garnered international attention and won several awards, including eight Stevie Awards and a Venus Award. She's also a nutritionist for Men's Fitness Magazine, a frequent expert contributor on many TV and radio outlets. And interestingly enough is recognized worldwide as a leading fertility expert. She's a trained hypnotherapist and rounding out her incredibly diverse skill set. She's even pursued qualifications from the Prittiken Longevity Center in her efforts to help people optimize their lives. So please help me in welcoming the woman who was named Best British Therapist in 2006, the author of the weekly Mind Column for Closer Magazine, Marissa Pier. Hello, welcome. That's quite welcome. Thanks.
Understanding Hypnosis And Mindset
Origin Story (02:11)
Absolutely. I'm excited to have you here. I'm excited to be here. I have a personal obsession with hypnosis. I find it very interesting. I've never actually gone to a hypnotherapist, but I really studied Milton Erickson for a while. I tried to do some of my own sleep well hypnosis stuff, but I found the sound of my voice so distracting that it never worked. But I'm way intrigued. What led you to hypnotherapy? Actually, that's a great question. I was going to be a child psychologist, and I found that really hard work because I was very young. When you're a child psychologist, you have three patients, mum, dad, child, usually divorced. It's like, it could have worked with three people all on different pages. I kind of left it and ended up working for Jane Fonda in Robert St. Boulevard, not far from here. Yeah, that was much more fun. Teaching aerobics? Teaching aerobics. I was one of her trainers, and it was kind of intriguing to me because I would say every other woman there was anorexic, bulimic, exercise, compulsive, body dysmorphic, because it's got much worse now. Because I had this psychology mind and this psychology background. I was fascinated by why do people do that to themselves, so obsessed about what they look like in every calorie. I found this amazing hypnotist called Gil Boyne, really by chance, although I don't think there's any such thing as chance. He taught me hypnosis, and I went back to Jane's students, started to work with all the people that had anorexia, bulimia, orthorexia. That was just going to be my life. I'm going to teach because I love it, the aerobics, and see all these clients. But as it happened, the universe had other ideas. Because I got asked to go on a lot of shows like Big Brother and I'm a celebrity, get me out of here, analyzing people, which I've always done. And eventually I couldn't work for her anymore because I was just so busy, and it's been like that ever since. I've always been fascinated by human behavior, but always wanted a shortcut. Why do you do that? Let's fix it. What is it about hypnotism that makes it work? Is it that people, the things that are fucking them up are buried deep in the subconscious? Why was that the radical breakthrough?
What is hypnosis (04:26)
Hypnosis is the actual grandfather of even psychotherapy. People think hypnotherapy is the poor relative and it's come along, and it's actually in front of everything. A lot of hypnotherapists don't understand what hypnotherapy really means, and what it means is you can shut down the critical part of your mind that goes, "I could never speak in public, oh I could never live without doughnuts." That bit shuts down, and while it shuts down you can excite the imagination. And tell people stuff they simply don't think they could do. So give you an example, I was recently having a medical procedure and the nurse said, "Oh my God, we all know you, and we have this kid and he can't go in the scanner." He's terrified, and I said, "Oh, I'll show you what to do." And in five minutes he was loving being in that scanner because I taught him, "Listen, it's how you talk to yourself." If you go, "I feel like I'm in a coffin here and I'm ill and now I'm in the scanner and it's reminding me that I could die." Why would you talk to yourself like that? What you say is, "I love this, this is amazing. I've got half an hour to chill out." So people don't understand that what makes hypnosis powerful is powerful words, but they've got to be super powerful, really dynamic, incredibly relevant, and absolutely up to date. And if you combine that powerful language with shutting down, the critical part that goes, "You can never do that." Who's going to want you? You've got four kids and cellulite. If you shut that bit down and then add in excitement, you're going to have anything you want. But most people either don't understand about shutting the bit down, or they don't understand the language. So without diminishing other therapists, I see a lot of people who say things like, "Now you might just want to think about being calm." It's like, "What? WTF? That's not exciting." Or they say things like, "Today you're going to find it easy not to eat cake." And I'm like, "Come on. We can do way better than that. Excite the imagination." And probably you love saying no to cake. It thrills you to pick an apple. It elates you to see the scales going down and your six-back emerging, because you are motivated and committed and compelled to say no to sugar. And if you understand the mind, it does what you tell it. That's its job. And if you tell it better stuff, you have an amazing life. And if you tell it mediocre stuff, you have a mediocre life. You said something in there that is really interesting, but I don't understand quite what we mean by it. So you said, "You have to make sure that the language is not only compelling, but absolutely up to date." What do you mean, "up to date"?
Stories our mind keeps alive (06:59)
I'll give you an example. I worked with somebody who was morbidly obese. And he had a story. You know, when I was a baby, I was only two pounds. I nearly died. My parents had to feed me every hour, wake me up. And if I threw up the food, my mum would cry. And she has this story. I'm like, "Okay, but that's 50 years ago. Now you're going to die of being 600 pounds." So you have to talk to the mind and say, "This is completely outdated. It's behind you." The people have a story. I can't find a love because my dad left when I was one. I can't find love because my mum preferred my brother. I can't be a success because I never went to university. I can't speak in public because I blush. And without understanding, when you describe why you can't, you keep it going. If you keep talking about the symptom, your mind keeps it alive because whatever you focus on, you get more of. And so a lot of people have language that's completely irrelevant. Like, yes, I know your dad left when he was one. I know your mother put you up in the foster care and didn't love you. But that's then. This is now. And so they have outdated stories, outdated language. I can't do that because the classic one I held, "Oh my God, my boyfriend just ripped out my heart, "stamped all over it, killed me. And if I find love again, it will kill me." I'm like, "Darling, he got bored." And you would have got bored too if you'd stuck around. And that was your starter relationship. Go and find a better one with someone amazing. Everything he loved in you, you didn't take it home with him. It's still there. So don't use that irrelevant. I found love and it killed me when it ended. So I found love. The wrong person. But I'm going to find it again with the right person. It's going to be amazing and compelling. He's going to fall in love with my soul. And you'll be together forever because you've got to turn your mind on and it loves exciting words, dramatic words. Really loves words that make a picture. So if I said to you, you can be the most phenomenal, powerful, awesome, incredible speaker. When you speak on stage, everyone stops. So listen, you could hear a pin drop. They look at you. They hear what you're saying. They like you. The mind goes, "Oh, I like this. I know where I'm going." But when you go, "I'm not bad at speaking. Sometimes I'm quite good occasionally. I really get it right." The mind goes, "What are you talking about?" That's not dramatic enough for me.
The power of repetition, dialoguing & mindset (09:30)
Yeah, I'm a huge believer in the power of self-talk and the way that you talk to yourself is going to have a profound impact on how you move forward. And like you said, getting excited and using big language, I'm way on board with that. Do you differentiate it all between simple repetition and hypnosis? And how often do you recommend people just to do the simple repetition? And are there certain outlier cases that you're like, "No, no, no. You're going to need to go for full hypnosis?" Well, there's certain rules of your mind that I like to operate from. And one is the mind learns by repetition. So nobody would go to the gym and go, "I've done 500 sit-ups. I should have a six back now. You know you've got to go back and do them again and do them again." Once you get that six pack, you can keep it with a little less repetition. And so it is with how we dialogue with ourselves. You know, my passion is to get schools to teach, to dialogue with themselves better. So repetition is very important, but it's not quite enough. You know, if you were a chronic alcoholic and said, "Right, I'm going to say every day I don't drink. I don't drink. I don't drink." That probably won't work. First of all, the mind doesn't know what "don't" is. When you say, "I don't drink," it's like saying, "I'm not thinking about chocolate." You have to think about the word that's most descriptive in the sentence. It's like saying, "Don't think of an orange snowman." Now you've got to think of an orange snowman, even if you've never seen one in your life. So the combination of repetition, powerful words can be more than enough. I mean, somebody wrote to me, and said, "My kid was lying on the floor hysterical about her exams, and I played one of your audios, and she got up and said, "I'm going to ace this." And she went, she did ace it. And I could tell even by the set of a chin that she knew. But for many people, they need more. They need you to go back and unpick their story. Why do you do what you do? What happened to you? Why are you an alcoholic? In understanding why, for most people, that's their "ah-ha" moment. They go, "Oh my God, I never knew it. That's why I do that." "Oh, and then you add in and now you know you never have to do it again."
How do you tease out that story? (11:38)
Yeah, the notion of story and going back and getting to that point where somebody can identify the moment that the story began, that then triggers a repetition, that then locks them in the story. How do you begin to tease out that story, and can people do it for themselves, or is this something that requires? You can. It's much better to go and see one of the people we've trained. We have phenomenal RTT therapists, and we do a particular kind of therapy that's really taking the world by storm, because it's very simple. People come in and they describe, you know, "I really want to be successful, but I'd love to be healthier, but I want to find love, but I can't get pregnant because." And the first thing we do is investigate, like a good detective. A detective will lay out pictures and go, "What's going on here?" And they make sense of it, and very much the same. So, people come to me again, "I've got unexplained infertility. What is that?" It went, "Well, there's a clue in the description." It is unexplained. Nobody knows. Your husband's got cracks, but that swims straight and plenty of it. You've got gray eggs, great fallopian tubes, perfect womb, but you can't get pregnant because the unexplained is here. And many people when they're young, say, "I've got pregnant, my dad would kill me. Oh my God, if I got pregnant with the end of the world." And when I was 17, thinking I was pregnant, "Oh my God, no disaster. Oh my God, my dad will be so upset, devastated." And when I wasn't, I went, "Oh, thank you, God. Yes, joy." But you see, the mind listens to everything you say. The mind has always switched on, and it records everything, and it never forgets. So, in a moment of absolute terror, or fear, or pain, or anxiety, there's something called an imprint. It goes in. So a child whose mother says, "That cat was scratchy, and give you blood poisoning. Well, that dog's going to bite you, or that's a dangerous person." Or, you know, I went to a little kid who had a terrible fear of monsters under the bed. Turned out his dad, you sort of say, "You'll get run over if you do that. You'll kill yourself if you do that. You'll drown if you do that." Turned out his dad was the monster, because he was scaring him all the time. So you get a young person, can be an adult, and you get an imprint. And what we do is investigate, "Where did this imprint happen?" And when we've got the imprint, which is very easy, you can ask questions and get the imprint. You can listen to the client's story, the one who's in my mum used to cry when I brought up food, and I'm so happy when I ate. Or you can use hypnosis and go back like that. And the reason I love hypnosis so much is you go to the imprint. You know, people come to see me within five minutes. They have the imprint. There's no, "Oh, how does that make you feel? And how do you feel now?" And let's talk more about that, and come back next Wednesday at formal. Keep this going, because studies now say that's actually the worst thing you can do, because you just keep the story alive. So we do the investigation. We find the imprint, and then we interpret it. What does that mean? Why do you think, you know, your dad telling all these stories would now leave you to have this monster under your bed? Why do you think that 15 being terrified of being pregnant could possibly mean that today you've got an explainability? And they work it out. They go, "Yeah, now you say that. If I look at those scenes and look at this scene, it will make sense." And then you interrupt the belief massively, and then you install a brand new belief. You know, you're getting pregnant like a high school kid on their first date. You're super fertile. You've got crack, grade A eggs. Your husband's got the SAS of sperm, and it's going to collide. So you bring in the very powerful language, and you are going to make a grade A baby, because of course, because I want to be pregnant, I'm like, "No, you don't. You want to make a baby that you carry to full term." I've come up with it, I've been pregnant eight times. You want a perfect bouncing healthy baby. So it's another example of not telling your mind what you want. So the combination of the imprint, the investigate, the interpret, the interrupt, and the install is so powerfully transformational. And the last bit is recorded. Clients take it away, and they go, "Wow." You know, I worked with someone who had had eight IVFs, and each time lost the baby. And I said, "Don't have any more IVF. Just get a perfect baby." She had some congenital illness. So she had a 50% chance of having a deformative, 50% chance of not. As you know, if you're really clever, you can tell your mind to pick a perfect egg. The mind's job is to do what you tell it. And people don't understand that you have that much power to go in and tell your mind to heal. Tell your mind to select a perfect grade A embryo. Tell your body to feel. Tell your metabolic rate to be super effective. I think this is so powerful, but for someone like me, I need to ask the following question. Where are the limits of that? Well, if you said to me, "I want to be a brain surgeon tomorrow," I'd go, "Well, no, you need a little of training to be a brain surgeon."
Where are the limits? (17:03)
So people do come in with strange requests. I want to be a famous actor. How old are you, 62? Have you got any action? No. And sometimes I tell them the truth. Look, that's probably not going to happen. So you have to be, I wouldn't even say realistic. I believe if you reach for the stars, you probably will get them. But sometimes people have crazy things they want. So they will ask me for strange things that I won't accept. But most people ask for very reasonable things. I want love. I want wealth. I want hell. But when you start getting into specific stuff, I want my body to pick the right egg. And understand I ask this from the place of, "I want this to be true so badly." But like when I think, "Okay, no one has ever thought their way to eternal life," which would be the thing I would spend my time thinking about. So there is some level of biology is going to defeat us in that sense. So what I'm trying to figure out is, "Okay, because I think this is a powerful technique and because I need to believe in it for it to work, I'm trying to figure out the edge cases." I'm willing to accept that they're so much farther out than most people, that it's better to get people to shoot for craziness because that way they don't stop shy. But out of curiosity, one thing that I read in your book that I was very happy to hear is that you tell people, because I'm always terrified of the secret, which I think is half amazing and half bullshit. You can't just think your way to something. So you tell people in your book, you have to do something every day to move yourself closer to your dream. So like where is that fine line between like, "Hey, I'm thinking I'm really putting in the work," but then there's also, there are biological realities to be faced and how do we address those?
Your beliefs affect your biology (18:52)
So your beliefs affect your biology. You believe certainly affect your biochemistry. I've had women of 58, so could you make the pregnant? I go, "No, it's too late. Why did you wait 30 years?" But the mind will follow your instructions and it's very important to give yourself the right instructions. So of course there are limits. You can't tell yourself you're going to be an astronaut. And when people say to me, "I want to be a millionaire, what are you going to do to be a millionaire?" You can't go back and sit at home and that's the problem with the secret. Attract millions to you. What are you going to do for these? I want to be, have a six-pack. You do need to go to the gym. I want to have great health. Well, stop eating pizza and eat better food, but once you get the mind to want it, it's actually easy. But when people say to me, "I want to be a millionaire," then we tell them, "Well, any goal of significance requires you to learn something new." But then they have a fear of learning. And of course you're right. Then when people come in and go, "I want this," you have to look at the blocks. The number one block is a fear of rejection. If I may get rejected, if I find love, they might leave. If I may call that money, people won't like community. So you've got to smash out the ballpark, the fear of rejection. You've got to smash out the second belief that says it's all easy. I remember Luther Vandross saying, "People say I'm an overnight success. I sung jingles for KFC for 12 years." It was a long overnight. So you do have to also have that desire. I mean, for me, I speak in public, I write books, always aware that someone is going to hate your book. I don't like it. I'm like, "Oh, that's okay." They can't reject me. They might reject my book. Most people happen to love them, but to get anywhere in life, you have to get over the fear of rejection. Because people think they're going to die from rejection, but they really don't.
Your whole movement about You Are Enough (20:50)
So your whole movement about how to not let that stuff in is interesting. I want you to explain it to people because I want to get to the edge cases of this as well, but tell people about you are enough. Well, you are enough as a movement that I started because, you know, 33 years of being a therapist, I might work with a movie star, an Olympic athlete, or someone who's a school teacher. And they all have the same problem. And the problem is almost always I'm not enough. I mean, I've worked with so many addicts, thousands of addicts. I've never met one who ever thought they're enough. They'll say, "You know, I drink because I'm not enough. I use because I'm not enough. I am addicted to spending because I'm not enough." And what I see many therapists doing is the client comes in with a list, like what I call a shopping list. I need to stop drinking. I need to get out of bed. I need to stop shouting at my kids. I need to take care of myself. And they like to go through the list. It takes a long time. I go, "Oh, forget the list. Let's look at what I call what lies beneath. You know your problem? I don't think you're enough." Where does that? Do you know, a baby who's ever been born? Because I shouldn't cry because I don't deserve attention here. I shouldn't throw up on this white top. My mum just bleets. No baby is ever born believing they're not enough. And so, again, we look at where does this come from, this belief you're not enough. Who told you that? Where did you get that? And when they go, "Oh, yes, it came from here." It's a game changer because they start to tell them, "I'm enough." People say, "But if I'm enough, don't I just lie in the couch and eat potato chips all day?" No. When you know you're enough, then you go, "Right. I need a better relationship. There's a better career than there's a better health than there's so." Why do you think that is a true movement for that? Because one thing that I struggle with the notion of somebody just telling themselves that they're enough, I get the underlying power of repetition, the importance of the words. And it feels like a very good foundation that the person can build from. But where I struggle is, I know that a lot of times people don't believe it. And so, if they don't ever then take those next steps of learning something or pushing themselves or doing something difficult, the words will ring hollow. How do you help people establish meaning behind?
How do you help people establish meaning (23:15)
Well, I wrote a book called "I'm Enough" and we have a program called "I'm Enough." And what that does is it takes you the process of where does this come from? You're not born with this belief. How did you get it? And when they discover how they got it, they're able to give it up. One of my first ever clients was this beautiful woman, very hard to believe when she was like, "I can never make a relationship last." And it sounds so silly, but she said to her dad, "You say to every day you'll never, ever find anyone that loves you like me. Nobody could love you like me. You'll never find the kind of love that I have." And she programmed it when you label someone, you limit them. So now she's got an imprint. "I'm never going to find love like this love." And guess what? She never found love like that. And all you have to do is apparently say, "I love you because you're lovable." And all your life you'll find love, like this love because you're worth it. So it's little tiny adjustments that have the most profound effect on people. And it's never too late to say, "I'm enough. I can find love." And now if you give someone the power to make you feel good, you give them the power to make you feel bad. And if you do it to yourself, you feel so much better. It makes you slightly bulletproof. You still need other people. We all need other people. But the dialogue with yourself and starting with, "I'm enough." I picked that because I found all my clients, addicts, binges, bulimics, saboteurs, hoarders, compulsive shoplifters, they all went back to the same thing. "I'm not enough. I need more." And if you feel enough, you start to feel equal. See, most of us feel unequal. You're better than me because you've got money or you're more attractive than me. But no dog or cat says, "Oh, you're better than me because you're a pedigree." The baby doesn't know that another baby's wearing designer clothes and they're not. They have no concept of that. So really what I'm enough is doing is reactivating, remand, fasting, and regenerating what you were born with and ability to say, "I'm enough."
How to tinker with bad habits (25:27)
It's interesting. So part of, I think, what happens is, obviously when a baby is born, they're lacking the sort of critical faculties to navigate the world. And this is, I put my finger on this because I want people to understand that they're going to struggle. So it's a little bit like meditation. People think I'm doing it wrong because they think there's some magical right that other people are doing and they're not doing it. Like, when you start repeating this stuff in your head, I think people will say to themselves, "What do you mean you're not worthy of yourself and target?" You're not significant. Right. So learning that A, that's a thing and that that's going to happen. That's a part of a normal human brain designed to keep you safe and alive. It's not designed to propel you forward. So, but there are, once you understand, I mean, this is your language. Once you understand how the brain works, then you can go in and begin to tinker with some of this stuff to get where you want to go. Now, the tinkering part is what I want to get your take on. I'll use myself as an example. So I have experienced things that have given me the story that I have a bad memory. Okay. I recognize it as a story, but it's so fucking compelling because the evidence from the time that I was a little kid just seems irrefutable. So, okay. But I understand the mind well enough to know, "Hey, I'm screwing myself over here. I'm repeating it, which is making it worse. Self-fulfilling prophecy. Okay. Jim quick tells me time. You have to stop saying that. I see you today." You're like, "Look, you have to stop saying that." And so, I totally buy that I have to stop saying it, but I've known that for a long time. And I'm an ultra diligent disciplined person. But for some reason, I haven't worked up the desire to see that one through. Now, because I have enough self-awareness, I can guess at the reason. The biggest reason that I'm hesitant is like, "Okay, look, my energy units are finite. So, getting a good memory is going to be difficult. And do I want to put the time and the energy into this?" Yes or no? Because it's an allocation of time resources. So, when I think about how far I've gotten, despite the fact that I have a bad memory, it's like, "Okay, it's not that big of a deal to immediately address." So, what all I want to convey with this is that sitting in neutral, it won't just happen. No, you have to want it. Correct. So, that's my very question. So, how do you get people to build that desire? Because I get asked that question a lot. Okay. So, well, most people that come to me don't have to see, but I don't want to give up my problem. I mean, they do with food. They go, "I want to be super healthy. Okay, you're going to stop eating, don't I don't want to do that?" There's a difference between, "I don't want to do one thing and I want to do it, but I'm not sure of the energy to see it through." But you see, the belief is what you're saying is, it's work. So much work. It's no work. So, what I would suggest for someone like you is just monitor her. Oh, I forgot that. I've got terrible memory. I got that. I missed that. I've got a terrible memory. And start to say, "I have a phenomenal memory. I have an outstanding memory. I have a reliable, foolproof memory." So, I saw with my daughter when she was little, she'd leave the house and come back because she had so much to remember. Her school bag and her swimming staff and her lunch. And I always say, "What have you remembered?" Because I remembered my lunch. I remembered my swimming. Okay, that's so great that you remember. And very quickly she went from, "Oh, forgotten. I've got to go. My mum's going to be really crossed." "No, my memory's great at the gate." It told me, school lunch, school coat. And of course, if you go to any kids' class when you see coats and bags, they forget everything. And we never go, "Well, it's the memory you see." It disappears with age. And I've been, well, of 90. You can tell you everything about their childhood and what it was like in the war. So, you have to just make a decision to tell yourself, "I have an outstanding, reliable, phenomenal, incredible, impressive, foolproof, big words." Of course, because you want to excite you. And if you say enough, your mind's job is to give you that memory and then stop saying, "What have I forgotten?" and say, "What have I remembered?" And then something else you do is just say, "That will come to me." You know, you have to understand the mind a bit. So, when you're dealing with a conscious mind, the subconscious doesn't do anything. If you're saying, "It's the name of that book or that restaurant." I don't know. I give up. I've got to remember. And you suddenly get, "Oh, it's coming to my head." It was this book. It was a Tim Ferriss book. I remember now. Because you've given your mind an instruction. What is the name of that book? Your mind will go and find it. But if you are still actively looking, it doesn't do it. So, we have something called command therapy. You've got to command your mind. Go ahead and remind me where my passport is. Remind me. And so often it's just really poor communication.
Command therapy (30:31)
You know, I was like, "Oh God, I'm flying to London tonight and I can never fall asleep on a plane. I just can't go." And I was like, "Well, where are you going?" "You don't go anywhere. You don't fall. You lie on the plane and you invite sleep to come to you go. I'm lying here. My eyes are heavy and sleep's descending upon me like a miss." Because it's a misdirect of the mind because you don't fall and you don't go. But when you say sleep's coming to me. And when I am in different times and it's all over the world, I lie and go, "Right. Sleep now. Send sleep to me now." I insist on eight hours of sleep. I need eight hours. And I tell my mind what I want. But I am very clear, very specific. "Can I fall asleep? I need to..." Because I've got to get up in five hours. Now I'm stressed. I just give my mind very clear instructions. You do have to train yourself a bit. But if you use those words, "My memory is impressive and infallible," your mind knows what that looks like. And it will make it real. If you just go, "I need a better memory," that's not exciting. So, excite it with powerful words and you won't be surprised or you might how much better it gets. But you've got to give up this belief that it's work. Because talking to yourself isn't work. Exciting your mind isn't work. Going to the gym is work. But saying every day as you get up, "I've got a great memory." I can even imagine my diary and I can see what's in it. If you tell yourself that, it actually really becomes true. And you'll notice that everyone who's got a good memory will say, "My memory is amazing." "I've had the best memory ever." They never go, "I've got a mind like a sieve." "I'd forget my head if it wasn't screwed on." I would forget the eyes in my head if they weren't there. But people with a poor memory, they just... They remind themselves how bad it is. Instead of deciding, "No, I'm going to have a great memory."
The Rules Of The Mind (32:28)
I know that people say to you a lot of times, "Yes, you're okay. This is easy for you because nothing bad has ever happened to you." But you actually had a... I'm so curious to know how you characterize it. You had cancer. -Why? -I was going to say battle and I thought, "I don't know that she would say that." -Yeah, I didn't use the word battle. -That's interesting. So, one, I'd love to hear how you do conceptualize it, and then how you dealt with it. I think it would be really powerful. -Yeah, I'd put you a look at me and say, "Well, you've had an amazing life." But, you know, my life wasn't awful. My father was a headmaster. He was very invested in other people's kids. I just felt like this kind of hideous blob that wasn't interesting to him at all. But with my parents told me I should be a nanny because they obviously didn't see any potential in me at all. But that isn't to diminish them because I wouldn't change anything about that because it made me have that I'll prove you attitude. So, I was thought I could never ever have children, and if I got pregnant, I would never carry a baby to full term. I remember hearing that thinking, "You know what? I have to not let this in." And that's very important to me because I will not let that in. So, when I was told I couldn't have a baby, I thought, "I'm not letting that in." And when I got pregnant, I was told, "Many times you're going to lose the baby. She's going to be born with something wrong with her." And I talked to her all the time and told her to grow perfectly, and she did. And when I was told I had cancer, I mean, of course it's a horrible thing to hear. And I did spend the first two days thinking, "Oh my God, you know, war, am I going to go with this?" Because I've taught my mind for so long to only go towards positive. I found myself on day three singing this song, and it was that song about, "You know what I'm saying? I feel pretty and witty and wise." It was saying, "I'm healing and my body is healing and it's healing all the time." And I just made a decision to tell my body, "Look, you're going to do wellness now." And so I started to do wellness and I visualized healing and I visualized it being very contained. And I visualized myself bouncing back, and three weeks later I was on stage in Costa Rica. Not because I'm super, because I told my body, "Listen, I haven't got time to sit in this hospital bed with medication." "Do wellness." I really did command my body to recover. And it sounds like it's alright for you, but again, you have to understand the rules of the mind. Your body does what it says if you go, "I'm ill, I've got cancer now. It's bound to come back." And always looking for signs. People say to me, "You know, I'm a cancer survivor." I'm like, "Oh no, I'm not. I'm not." Because I don't have it. So I was obviously surprised when I got it again, but I just had to do the same thing and say, "That's it now. Twice is enough for anyone. I'm done with that." And I don't refer to it a huge amount. But I started to think maybe it was good for me to get that, because I can look at other people and say, "Listen, you always have a choice." I mean, I went home the very next day. They gave me a carrier bag of drugs. I was like, "What are they? I don't need those. I didn't take any medication." And I just kept telling my body, but I wasn't in any pain.
Healing And Marisa'S Approach
Tell Your Body to Heal (35:35)
Did you do chemo? No. No, no, no. No drugs. No chemo. What was the actual treatment? I had surgery twice to remove it. And actually the second time, I now think I didn't even need to have done that. Did they want you to do chemo? No, I was very lucky. I got it early on enough that I didn't have to do it, but I didn't think I ever would do that. Not to diminish other people who have, but you know, again, it's that choice. Tell your body to do wellness. And I kept telling my body, "Kill the cancer and annihilate the cancer." Never caught it my cancer. That's my cancer. It was, "I've got my cancer back," or, "I'm going for my cancer treatment." And when you preface someone with my, you own it. You could look at my shoes, aren't they cool, or your migrate T-shirt. But when you say, "My migraine, my headache, my illness, my terrible memory," if you put the word "my" in front of something, it's yours. And if you call it "the," it's not yours. So I was very committed to never saying "my," and wasn't mine. I didn't want it. I felt very lucky that I got it in an organ that I didn't need that was completely dispensable. So that was good. I remember even thinking, "What stroke of luck that is? I don't need a womb. It's done. It's a great job." And I talked to my mother, "Thanks for giving me this great kid. You did a great job." And I'm going to be here for this great kid, so you can leave and I'm staying. But I find that even with cancer, if you have that belief, I'm going to trial this stuff, but it won't work. And, you know, I'm riddled with it, and there's no hope. They start to read all these terrible diagnoses. I mean, in England, you are not allowed to say to them, "You've got ten months to live." Because that's what happens. They turn into the ten months. You cannot diagnose them. What do they tell them? They just say, "You know, we're going to do this and this." And you may not survive this, but you could. And in the same way that if you are having surgery and they go, "This is a completely mess in here. There's just no way." Even in surgery, your subconscious is hearing what's going on around you. And there are many people who come out of a coma who say, "You know, I heard everything. The hearing is the last thing to go." And so, if you make a choice to talk to yourself better, you can bounce back. You might as well use your mind as much as you possibly can to be well. I love that. That is a perfect way to wrap that up. Where can people find more about you, find your books, and live more deeply?
Where to Find Marisa (38:12)
MarissaThea.com. You can find all my books. We give away tons of stuff on wealth blocks, money blocks, relationship blocks, because we want people to feel better. So go to MarissaPid.com. You can also take the free bullying program for your school. If you want to train to do what I do and change people's lives, because it is amazing, go to a rapid transformationaltherapy.com. And if you want to join the "I'm Enough" we have so many teachers, but regularly, little kids of six, semi-that paintings now. Send me their bracelets. Show me the pictures. Go to "I'm enough." Amazing. What is the impact that you want to have on the world? It's to start. I'd love to. There have been no clients for the hour of this. I'd love that. I've got many clients anymore, because everyone feels enough. So, you know, all the patient-siest people who have been damaged by something in their childhood. And while that's never going to completely go away. My passion is to help people raise their children so they feel enough, because when you feel enough, your life is so different when you feel not enough. I love it. Marissa, thank you so much for coming on the show. That was wonderful. Thank you. Guys, the mind is insanely powerful, and there aren't as many people that can break it down as clearly and instructionally, step by step, the way that Marissa does. So, I hope that you will check it out. It is powerful. Give it a shot. All right, guys. If you haven't already, be sure to subscribe. And until next time, my friends, be legendary. Take care. Thank you.
Marissa, that was wonderful. Thank you so much. You'll notice invisible doors open for you. And even though you're a science guy, you have a lot of God in your life, whether you realize it or not, because you wouldn't be sitting here right now, being driven by this great force of inspiration, doing the major things that you've done in this world, if you hadn't been tapped into that source.